Now that Francis was once in the humour to give me the history of
her past life, I encouraged her to continue her story.
She went on to say that a Swiss governess was engaged to teach her
needlework and other ladylike accomplishments.
"My father," she said, "seeing all his plans foiled by the unexpected
visit of my English aunt, left me entirely in the hands of my
governess. And as I no longer wrote a letter every year to the
old uncle telling him of my progress in fencing and horsemanship,
and signing myself Francis Mordaunt (I had been told this was the
accepted orthography in England), Sir John received no more bills of
exchange from that source. It was these bills of exchange which had
enabled him to keep up such an expensive establishment. He ought now
to have adopted a plainer style of living; but he preferred drawing
upon his capital.
"I thought it my duty to write to Aunt Ellen, and to tell her the truth
about my having left the school. She answered me in affectionate terms,
and enclosed the annual fifty pounds with many exhortations to industry
and much good advice. She even promised me I should come to London on
a visit, as she had much to tell me. But, alas! next year she died,
and my pension ceased--nor have I ever heard a word of my English
relations since.
"Mademoiselle Chelles, my governess, was a woman of tact, and won
my affection and esteem. In the long walks we took together our
conversation was confidential, and she spoke of the sufferings of the
poor, and the pleasures to be derived from relieving them; in short,
she showed me the serious side of life in a manner no one else had
ever done before. She inspired me with a love for the beauties of
nature, and awoke the better feelings which, thus far, had lain
dormant; assisting me in my preparation for confirmation. Perhaps
she would have succeeded in extirpating 'Major Frank' altogether,
but that my nurse grew jealous of her influence; and, worse still,
Rolf, now promoted to the rank of lieutenant, fell in love with
her. She could not bear the grand soudard, the 'ogre,' as she called
him; for his manners frightened her, and he made his offer in such
a maladroit fashion that she walked off to my father, and said she
would leave the house if ever that man were allowed to put his foot
into it again. This, as everybody said, was assuming the 'high tone'
on her part. Grandfather and nurse were on Rolf's side, and my father
answered--'It's only a governess, let her go.' I myself said little
for her; I was too anxious to regain my ancient liberty--though I have
since known the loss I sustained in losing her. I was young then;
my father ought to have known better. Even to the present day this
is one of my grudges against Rolf.
"Again I became 'Major Frank.' I accompanied my father on his rides,
and I saw he was proud of my horsemanship. Sometimes we hunted
together, and when he allowed me to drive I was ever ready to show
off my daring and skill. In the meantime my nurse died, and now,
indeed, I felt the truth of her words--that she was the only person
in the world who really loved me. I had to take her place, and fulfil
the duties of mistress in the household. My father was expecting a
visitor from England----"
She stopped abruptly, and fixing her beautiful blue eyes on me with
a strange expression, asked--
"Leopold, have you been in the society of women much?"
"When I lived with my mother I saw many of her friends and visitors;
but since----"
"That's not the question. I ask you if, like most men, you have
sometimes suffered from the intermittent fever called love?"
"I have done my best, cousin, to escape it. Knowing myself to be
too poor to maintain a wife in these expensive times, I have always
observed a strict reserve in my relations with them in order not to
be led away from my principles."
"Then you have never been 'passion's slave,' as Hamlet puts it."
"My time has always been too much occupied for anything of the sort."
"So much the better for you; but I am sorry for myself, because you
will not be able to give me the information I am seeking."
"Tell me what you want to know; possibly I can enlighten you."
"I wish to know if you think it possible for an honourable man, who
is neither a fool nor a coxcomb, but who, on the contrary, has given
evidences of his shrewdness and penetration, not to observe pretty
quickly that a girl--how shall I express myself?--that a girl is
deeply attached to him, even though no word of love has been exchanged
between them?"
I was greatly embarrassed. What could be her meaning? Was this
simplicity or maliciousness on her part, to address such a question
to me? After a few moments' reflection, however, I answered--
"I believe that, in general, both men and women very quickly discover
the mutual feelings which they entertain towards each other, even
though no words on the subject have passed between them."
"That is my opinion also now; but at the time I am referring to I was
as inexperienced as a child. My father's friends always regarded me
as an ill-bred girl, whimsical and capricious, a sort of savage whom
nobody cared to invite into society either for the sake of their sons
or daughters. The young officers who visited at our house would try
to make themselves agreeable; but their conduct appeared so insipid,
so ridiculous, that I only mocked them, and gave such biting replies
as to disconcert the most intrepid amongst them.
"It was at this time that Lord William came to stay with us. He
was introduced to me as a schoolfellow of my father's; at Eton he
had been Sir John's fag, and indeed was his junior by only a few
years. For some reason, unexplained to me, it was said he had been
obliged to leave England, and my father offered him the suite of
rooms left vacant by my grandfather. Lord William appeared to be
rich; he brought over an immense quantity of luggage, and paid right
royally for any service rendered him. I believe, indeed, he had a
private agreement with my father about the housekeeping expenses,
though neither of them ever told me so. Now a housekeeper was engaged
to assist me in the management of the house, and yet it was with
the greatest difficulty that I could adapt myself to the duties
of mistress of such an establishment. The presence of our visitor,
however, greatly aided in reconciling me to my position.
"Lord William (I never knew his family name) was a man of letters,
and had had a very valuable and expensive library sent over for his
use. Moreover, he was highly gifted with the faculty of communicating
his knowledge to others in a pleasant and agreeable manner. He was an
enthusiastic lover of art and poetry; he could read and even speak
several modern languages, and was passionately fond of antiquities
and ancient history. He knew--what we were all ignorant of--that the
library of our own small town possessed works of inestimable value on
these subjects, and I think this was his reason for choosing it as
his place of sojourn on the Continent. At all events he made great
use of the library. You may understand my surprise at seeing a man,
evidently of high rank, who cared neither for hunting nor noisy
pleasures of any kind, and who declared the happiest moments of his
life to be those spent in his study, and yet withal he was a perfect
gentleman and man of the world. The gentlemen said he was ugly;
the ladies were silent on that point, but appeared delighted with
the slightest attention he paid them. I thought he bore a striking
resemblance to our Stadtholder William III., though less pale. He had
a high forehead, strongly marked features, and dark eyes, which made
you think of the piercing regard of the eagle."
"Had he also the beak?" I asked, growing impatient.
"I have told you he was like William III. (of England)," she replied,
looking at me in astonishment; "his nose was curved sharply. But not
to detain you too long, I will at once confess he exercised a powerful
influence over me for good. I soon discovered that my manners were
displeasing to him, and that he evinced towards me a compassionate
sympathy, as if he regretted the sad turn my tastes had taken. One
day I overheard him ask my father why he did not take me out into
society. He gave as a reason my wild and brusque manners, and the
kind of society to be found in a small town like ours. Lord William
was not a man to be easily discouraged. He spoke to me privately
about my previous life, and put all sorts of questions to me about
my education. I told him everything, in my own way, without trying
to hide any of the particulars from him.
"'Do you like reading?' he asked me.
"'Not at all,' I answered. 'I like society, men and action.'
"'But any one who does not read, and read much, becomes idiotic,
and makes but a poor figure in society.'
"'If that's the case, tell me what I ought to read.'
"'I cannot answer your question right away; but, if you are willing,
we will read together and try to make up for lost time.'"