XII

Summer passed in the leisurely, gorgeous way that sometimes marks its

passage into autumn, and the work ploughed forward through the sea of

difficulties. The conspiracy of obstacles continued. There was progress

on the whole, but a progress that seemed to bring success no nearer.

The beds of clay, however, were definitely determined now, and their

extent and depth fulfilled the most sanguine expectations. The troubles

lay with the railway, the men, water, weather, and a dozen things no

one could have foreseen. These seemed far-fetched, and yet were natural

enough. And they continued--until Eliot, never a man who yielded

easily, began to feel he had undertaken more than he could manage. He

weakened. The idea came to him that he would sell his interest and

leave the development to others.

To retire from the fight and acknowledge himself defeated was a step

he could not lightly take. There was a bitterness in the thought that

stung his pride and vanity. There was also the fact that if he held

on and first established a paying business, he could obtain far more

money--for Mánya. Yet he felt somehow that it was from Mánya herself

that the suggestion first had come. For the child gave hints in a

hundred different ways that he could not possibly misunderstand. They

were indirect, unconsciously given, and they followed invariably upon

curious little personal accidents that about this time seemed almost a

daily occurrence.

And these little accidents, though perfectly natural taken one by

one as they occurred, when regarded all together seemed to compose

a formidable whole. They pointed an attack almost. The menace he

had imagined was becoming aggressive. Some one who knew his habits

was playing him tricks. Some one with intimate knowledge of the way

he walked and ran and moved laid traps for him. And at each little

‘accident’ Mánya laughed her strange, sly laughter--precisely as a

child who says ‘I told you so! You brought it on yourself!’ She had

expected it, perhaps had seen it coming. And now, to avoid more grave

disasters, she wanted him--elsewhere. Her deep affection for him,

sinner though he was in her eyes, sought to coax him out of the danger

zone.

When he slipped in jumping the stream--he, who was sure-footed as

a mountain goat!--and turned his ankle; and when the heavy earth,

loosened by the rains, rolled down upon him as he climbed the

embankment, or when the splinter that entered his hand as he vaulted

the fencing near the wharf, led to festering that made him carry his

arm in a sling for days--in every case it was the same: the child

looked up at him and smiled her curious little smile of one who knew.

She was in safety, but he stood in the line of fire. She knew who

it was that laid the traps. She saw them being laid. It was always

wood, earth, water thus that hurt him and never once an artificial

contrivance of man.

‘Uncle, it wouldn’t happen if you stayed away,’ was what she said each

time, though never phrased the same. And the obvious statement only

just covered another meaning that her words contained. She knew worse

things would come, and feared for him. ‘There’s no good hiding, Uncle

Dick, because it’s in the house as well.’

He grew to feel unwelcome in his own woods and garden, an intruder in

his own moors and valleys, an element the Place rejected and wished

elsewhere. The Place had begun to turn him out. And Mánya, this queer

mysterious child, in league with the secret Influence at work against

him, was being used to point the warnings and convey the messages. Her

silent attitude, more even than her actual words, was the messenger.

The hints thus brought, moreover, now troubled themselves less and less

with disguise. He realised them at last for what they were: and they

were beyond equivocation--threatening.

And it was at this point that Eliot made the journey up to London to

see Cass Murdoch, and feel his way towards escape. Retirement was the

word he used, and the sentence John C. heard in the bar of the big

hotel as they discussed clay and cocktails was ‘sell my interest to

more competent hands who will get quicker and bigger results than I

can. The work and worry affect my health.’

The interview may be easily imagined, for John Casanova Murdoch was

more than willing to buy him out, though the conditions, with one

exception, have no special interest in this queer history: Eliot was to

lease the Place for a period of years. And this meant leaving it.

In the train on his way back his emotions fought one another in

a regular pitched battle. He stood in front of himself suddenly

revealed--a traitor. It seemed as if for a moment he saw things a

little from his niece’s inverted point of view, standing outside of

Self and looking up. It provided him with unwelcome sensations that

escaped analysis. Love and hate are one and the same force, according

to the point in the current where one stands; repulsion becomes, from

the opposite end, attraction; and a great love may be reversed into

a great hate. There is no exact dividing line between heat and cold,

no neat frontier where pleasure becomes pain, just as there is really

no such absolute thing as left and right, uphill and downhill, above

and below. Mánya stood outside these relative distinctions men have

invented for the common purposes of description. He understood at last

that the power which had drawn his life into the Place as by a kind of

absorption, was now inverted into a process of turning him out again as

by a kind of determined elimination.

It was being accomplished, moreover, as he felt and phrased it to

himself, from outside; by which perhaps he meant from beyond that fence

which men presumptuously assume to contain all the life there is. But

the dead stand also beyond that fence. And Mánya, being so obviously

in league with this hostile, eliminating Influence stood hand in hand,

therefore, with--the dead.

But for him The Dead meant only one.

Pan's garden · 第 87 / 130 题