FRIENDLY COUNSELS FOR DOMESTICS.
My friends, you fill a very important and respectable station. The
duties committed to you by God are very apt to be considered of small
account, but they are indeed most solemn and important.
On your faithfulness and kindness depends the comfort of a whole
family, and on you often depends the character and happiness of a
whole flock of children. If you do your part faithfully in assisting
the mother to carry forward her plans, she will be able to train them
aright. If you fail to perform your part, she will be perplexed,
discouraged, and disabled, and everything will go wrong.
Every person finds troubles and trials in their lot, and so you must
find them in yours. But trials are sent by God, not for evil, but for
good, so that we, by patiently bearing them, and by striving to improve
under them, may grow wiser and better, and thus more happy than we
could be without them.
Whenever, therefore, anything vexes, or troubles you, comfort
yourselves by thinking that it is designed for your good, and reap at
least one benefit, by bearing it with patience and cheerfulness.
In all your dealings with those who employ you, try to follow “_the
golden rule_,” and do by them as you will wish to have others do by
you, when you are the mistress of a family, and hire others to help you.
Do you find that many things are uncomfortable and unpleasant in your
present lot? Remember that you never can find a place in this world
where everything will be just as you want it, and that it is a bad
thing for you, as well as for your employers, to keep roving about from
one place to another. Stay where you are, and try to make those things
that trouble you more tolerable, by enduring them with patience. Do not
fret and be angry at your employers when they oppose your wishes, but
wait until you feel in better humor, and then tell them what troubles
you, and what you wish they would alter, and in a kind and respectful
way, and you will be ten times more likely to gain what you desire.
Do you think that you are found fault with too much, and that your
employer is so hard to please that you wish to change for another?
Perhaps you do not know how often you do things different from what
she wishes, when she _does not_ complain. Perhaps she tells you only
just what she thinks she ought to do, for your good. Perhaps she does
not know that she _does_ find fault a great deal, or that her manner
is an unpleasant one. Perhaps she has a great many cares and troubles
that you know not of, which try her nerves, and make her feel very
irritable, and thus speak hastily when she does not intend it.
Be patient with her failings, if you think you see any, just as you
wish to have her bear with your faults, when they trouble her. If
you find your patience failing, it may be well in some cases, to say
to your employer, that you should do better, if she would find fault
less, and praise you more when you do well. But never say anything
of this kind when you are angry yourself, or when you see that she is
displeased.
Be careful, in all your dealings with children, always to _speak the
truth_, and never let them hear from you any filthy or wicked language.
Never promise to do a thing and then break your word, for this teaches
them to break promises. Never tell them frightful stories, or try to
make them mind you by saying what is not true. Never help them conceal
what they have done that is wrong, but try to persuade them to confess
their faults.
Never take the least thing that does not belong to you, and never tempt
children to give you what does not belong to them.
Never tell tales out of the family, nor tell to your employers the bad
things you have seen, or heard in other families, for this is mean and
ungenerous.
Do not spend your money for useless and expensive things, but learn
to be economical and prudent, that you may be preparing to be a good
housekeeper, wife, and mother, if ever you have a family of your own.
Do not form a habit of roaming about to see company, but be industrious
in hours not employed for those who hire you, in mending and making
your own clothes.
Take care and keep your person clean, and your hair and clothes in
order, and have your chamber always neat and tidy.
Do not be rude and boisterous in manners, but always speak politely to
all, especially to those who employ you.
Do not waste any of the provisions, or property of your employers, nor
let it spoil by neglect, and never lend or give away anything belonging
to the family without leave.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Read your Bible daily, and try to obey its teachings.
Pray to God to forgive your past sins, and to help you keep all his
commands, and live every day so that you will not be afraid to die.