is:
Get into a business you like.
Devote yourself to it.
Be honest in everything.
Employ caution; think out a thing well before you enter upon it.
Sleep eight hours every night.
Do everything that means keeping in good health.
School yourself not to worry; worry kills, work does not.
Avoid liquors of all kinds.
If you must smoke, smoke moderately.
Shun discussion on two points--religion and politics.
And last, but not least, marry a true woman, and have your own home.
IV
HIS SOCIAL LIFE AND AMUSEMENTS
The social life of a young man has a direct and important bearing upon
his success, and he cannot be too careful of what forms of amusement he
allows to come into his hours of leisure.
From a business standpoint it is all-important that he keep a careful
watch on his social habits. For it is not enough for any young man that
he should only take care of himself during his working-hours. To social
dissipations at night can be traced the downfall of hundreds upon
hundreds of young men. The idea that an employer has no control over a
young man's time away from the office is a dangerous fallacy. An
employer has every right to ask that those into whose hands he intrusts
responsibilities shall follow social habits which will not endanger his
interests upon the morrow. So far as social life is concerned, young men
generally run to extremes. Either they do not go out at all, which is
stagnating, or they go out too much, which is deadly. Only here and
there is found one who knows the happy medium; a certain amount of
social diversion is essential to everybody--boy, man, girl, or woman;
and particularly so to a young man with a career to make. To come into
contact with the social side of people is broadening; it is educative.
"To know people," says a writer, "you must see them at play." Social
life can be made a study at the same time that it is made a pleasure. To
know the wants of people, to learn their softer side, you must come into
contact with their social natures. No young man can afford to deny
himself certain pleasures, or a reasonable amount of contact with people
in the outer world. It is to his advantage that people should know he
exists; it is important to the wise shaping of his aims and aspirations.
It is well for him to keep himself honorably in the eyes of people. His
evening diversions should be as widely different from his occupations
during the day as possible. The mind needs a change of thought as well
as does the body a change of raiment. "All work and no play makes Jack a
dull boy" contains a vast amount of truth.
At the same time, nothing is more injurious to the chances of a young
man in business than an over-indulgence in the pleasures of what, for
the want of a better word, we call "society." It is a rough but a true
saying that "a man cannot drink whisky and be in business." Perhaps a
softer and more refined translation of this is that a man cannot be in
society and be in business. This is impossible, and nothing that a young
man can bear in mind will stand him to such good account as this fact.
No mind can be fresh in the morning that has been kept at a tension the
night before by late hours, or been befogged by indulgence in late
suppers. We need more sleep at twenty or twenty-five than we do at
fifty; and the young man who grants himself less than eight hours' sleep
every night just robs himself of so much vitality. So far as the
required amount of sleeping is concerned, I hold to this inexorable
rule: sleep eight hours every night and an extra hour whenever possible.
The most successful men have repeatedly acknowledged that to a
regularity in hours of retiring they can trace a large part of their
ability to compass the questions which enter into a successful career.
One rule should be positive with every young man: the midnight hours
should be passed in sleep; and by these hours I mean eleven and twelve
o'clock. If a young man makes it a rule to be asleep by eleven and up by
seven, he chooses the course which hundreds of the most successful men
of the day have chosen. The loss of vitality brought by less than eight
hours' sleep may not be felt or noticed at present, but the process of
sleeping is only nature's banking system of principal and interest. A
mind capable of the fulfilment of its highest duties should be receptive
to ideas, quick to comprehend, instantaneous in its conception of a
point. With a fresh mind and a clear brain a young man has two of the
greatest levers of success. These cannot be retained under social
indulgences. The dissipation of a night has its invariable influence
upon the work of the morrow. I do not preach total abstinence of any
habits to which human nature is prone. Every man ought to know what is
good for him and what is injurious to his best interests. But an excess
of anything is injurious, and a young man on the threshold of a business
career cannot afford to be excessive in a single direction. He should
husband his resources. He will need them all. For no success is easily
made in these days. Appearances are tremendously deceptive in this
respect. We see men making what we choose to regard and what are known
as quick successes, because at a comparatively early age they acquire
position or means. But one needs only to study the conditions of the
business life of to-day to see how impossible it is to achieve any
success except by the severest patience and by the very hardest work. No
young man need approach a business career with the idea that its
achievement is easy. The histories of successful men tell us all too
clearly the lessons of the patience and efforts of years. Some men
compass a successful career in less time than others. And if the methods
employed are necessarily different, the requirements are precisely the
same. It is a story of hard work in every case, of close application,
and of a patient mastery of the problem in hand. Advantages of education
will come in at times and push one man ahead of another. But a practical
business knowledge is apt to be a greater possession.
"But," says some young fellow, "what are the social pleasures and
indulgences which injuriously affect a young man's success?" Only one
general answer can be given, and it is this: any social pleasure or
indulgence which affects a young man's health affects his success. Good
health is the foundation of all possible success in life; affect the one
and you affect the other.
I presume it is safe to say that no single element in social life has
injured so many young men as an indulgence in intoxicating liquors, and
I shall treat of this first. And in doing so I shall take the matter
entirely away from the moral standpoint, and place it simply on its best
and wisest basis, that of principle. Many a writer--too many, alas!--has
held forth on this subject of wine-drinking and young men, and pointed
out its moral aspects. This is all very well as far as it goes; but I
think that if more writers placed their young-men readers on their honor
in this matter it would be infinitely better. It is not a question of
whether it is right or wrong for a young man to indulge in spirituous
drinks, so far as his success is concerned. It simply amounts to one
thing: he absolutely cannot do it. And I can say this to every young
fellow from my own experience and observation as a young man who, when
he started out, did not know exactly what position to take.
I was about sixteen years old, if I remember rightly, when I began
attending public dinners and assemblages in the capacity of a newspaper
reporter. Wines were then more freely used at dinners than now, and I
soon saw that I must make up my mind whether at these gatherings I
should partake of wines or decline them. I had been trained to the
belief that it was always best to err on the safe side, and as I sat
down to my first public dinner--a New England dinner in Brooklyn--I
shielded the wine-glasses set before me as the waiters came to my plate,
and this practice I have followed ever since.
At first my principle never to touch liquor or spirits of any kind
directed to me the chaffings of my friends. I was told it looked
"babyish"; that I could not expect to go out much and keep to my
principle; that I would often find it considered discourteous to refuse
a simple glass of wine tendered by my hostess. But I made up my mind
that there was no use of having a principle unless one stuck to it. And
I soon saw that people respected me the more for it. And just let me say
right here to all young men: I never lost one friend by my refusals, but
I made scores of friendships--of men, from one who has occupied the
presidential chair down; of women, among whom are the best and most
famous in our land to-day.
I honestly believe that a young man who starts out in life with a fixed
principle--whether it be that he will not drink, or smoke, or indulge in
anything which in his heart he feels is not good for him, or in which he
does not conscientiously believe--and adheres to that principle, no
matter under what circumstances he may be placed, holds in his hand one
of the most powerful elements of success in the world to-day. There is a
great deal of common sense abroad in this world of ours, and a young man
with a good principle is always safe to depend upon it. The men and
women whose friendships are worth having are the men and women who have
principles themselves, and respect them in others, especially when they
find them in a young man.
Another thing which led me to make up my mind never to touch liquor was
the damage which I saw wrought by it upon some of the finest minds with
which it was ever my privilege to come in contact; and I concluded that
what had resulted injuriously to others might prove so to me. I have
seen, even in my few years of professional life, some of the
smartest--yea, brilliant--literary men dethroned from splendid positions
owing to nothing else but their indulgence in wine. I have known men
with salaries of thousands of dollars per year, occupying positions
which hundreds would strive a lifetime to attain, come to beggary from
drink. Only recently there applied to me, for any position I could offer
him, one of the most brilliant editorial writers in the newspaper
profession--a man who, two years ago, easily commanded one hundred
dollars for a single article in his special field. That man became so
unreliable from drink that editors are now afraid of his articles; and
although he can to-day write as forcible editorials as at any time
during his life, he sits in a cellar in one of our cities writing
newspaper wrappers for one dollar per thousand. And that is only one
instance of several I could recite here. I do not hold my friend up as a
"terrible example"; he is but a type who convinced me, and may convince
others, that a clear mind and liquor do not go together.
I know it is said, when one brings up such an instance as this, "Oh
well, that man drank to excess. One glass will hurt no one." How do
these people know that it will not? One drop of kerosene has been known
to throw into flame an almost hopeless fire, and one glass of liquor may
fan into a flame a smoldering spark hid away where we never thought it
existed. The spark may be there and it may not. Why take the risk?
Liquor to a healthy young man will never do him the least particle of
good; it may do him harm. The man for whom I have absolutely no use is
the man who is continually asking a young man to "just have a little;
one glass, you know." A man who will wittingly urge a young man whom he
knows has a principle against liquor is a man for whom a halter is too
good.
Then, as I looked around and came to know more of people and things, I
found the always unanswerable argument in favor of a young man's
abstinence, i.e., that the most successful men in America to-day are
those who seldom, if ever, lift a wine-glass to their lips. Becoming
interested in this fact, I had the curiosity to personally inquire into
it, and of twenty-eight of the leading business men in the country whose
names I selected at random, twenty-two were abstainers. I made up my
mind that there was some reason for this. If liquor brought safe
pleasures, why did these men abstain from it? If, as some say, it is a
stimulant to a busy man, why did not these men, directing the largest
business interests in this country, resort to it? And when I saw that
these were the men whose opinions in great business matters were
accepted by the leading concerns of the world, I concluded that their
judgment in the use of liquor would satisfy me. If their judgment in
business matters could command the respect and attention of the leaders
of trade on both sides of the sea, their decision as to the use of
liquor was not apt to be wrong. At least, it was good enough for me.
As opportunities have come to me to go into homes and public places, I
find that I do not occupy a solitary position. The tendency to abstain
from liquor is growing more and more among young men of to-day. The
brightest young men I know, who are filling positions of power and
promise, never touch a drop of beer, wines, or intoxicants of any sort.
And the young man who to-day makes up his mind that he will be on the
safe side and adhere to strict abstinence will find that he is not
alone. He has now the very best element in business and social life in
the largest cities of our land with him.
He will not be chided for his principle, but through it will command
respect.
It will not retard him in commercial success, but prove his surest help.
It will win him no enemies, but bring him the friendship of upright men
and good women.
It will win him surer favor than aught else in eyes which he will
sometime in his life think are the sweetest he has ever looked into.
It will insure him the highest commercial esteem and the brightest
social position.
And as it molds his character in youth, so will it develop him into a
successful man and a good citizen.
I know young men are sometimes inclined to believe that abstinence from
wines is apt to prove a barrier to their social success. "It looks
unsociable," it is claimed. But my own experience has demonstrated to me
otherwise. I have found that a young man's best and highest social
success is assured just in proportion as he abstains from wines. An
indulgence in intoxicants of any sort has never helped a man to any
social position worth the having; on the contrary, it has kept many from
attaining a position to which by birth and good breeding and all other
qualifications they were entitled. No young man will ever find that the
principle of abstinence from liquor is a barrier to any success,
social, commercial, or otherwise. On the other hand, it is the one
principle in his life which will, in the long run, help him more than
any other. And touching the point of etiquette on this question, whether
it is in better form in drinking wines at dinner to turn down one's
glasses or have them removed, I would say, neither. Simply shield the
glasses with the hand as the waiter reaches your place at the table with
each course of wine. Turning down one's wine-glasses or causing them to
be removed from the table always seems to me to be an unnecessary and
rather a disagreeable way of pronouncing one's principles.
So far as the habit of smoking is concerned--whether it takes the form
of a cigarette, cigar, or pipe--I do not believe in the idea which tells
a young man that he must not smoke. I say, rather, he will be wisest if
he does not smoke. His health will be the better for it and his
pocket-book the fatter. If the physical or mental injury to be derived
from smoking is an open question, the good it does is not. Smoking does
absolutely no good to any one; it is simply a question of the extent of
harm that it does. But if a young fellow is inclined to smoke, if he has
a taste for it that he feels he must indulge, then I say, smoke
moderately. The greatest danger in smoking is in the imperceptible
growth of the habit; and this is particularly true of cigarette-smoking,
now so prevalent among young men. Unless a young man has himself well in
hand, and can govern his passions, he will find that cigarette-smoking
has a nasty way of growing upon one. He may at first smoke only two or
three cigarettes per day. After a while he adds a fourth. In a year it
will be five per day; and so it goes on multiplying, but never
diminishing, until the habit gets a hold which many find it impossible
to shake off. Then follow irritability, nervousness, loss of memory and
of appetite, and all kindred complaints, which are killing to a young
fellow's health, and necessarily to his success and happiness. This, to
my mind, is the danger which lurks in tobacco; the actual harm is not in
its use, but in its abuse. And use easily leads to abuse in the vast
majority of cases. An excuse is always at hand to make an extra
cigarette or cigar permissible on a special occasion. But after a bit
special occasions multiply. I believe that if young men would not smoke
until they attained their thirtieth year, it would be the wisest
solution of this whole question. One thing is certain: the young man who
does not smoke is far better off than he who does; and I think any one
addicted to tobacco will agree with this statement.
It is only natural that no young man desires to remain at home every
evening of the week; and the question naturally arises, What are the
best amusements for a young fellow? And on this point opinions must
necessarily differ.
For example, there is the question of attendance at the theater. There
are people--and delightful, good, and conscientious people they are,
too--who sincerely disapprove of the theater. To their minds the
playhouse is simply a trick of the devil to lure young men to
destruction. And, as plays go nowadays, I must confess that they are not
far from the right. Our theaters are unquestionably suffering from a
deluge of plays most of which are morally bad and some of which are
artistically worthless. But the dramatic history of every country has
waves of this sort.
To condemn the theater as an institution, however, and say to young men
indiscriminately that they must keep away from it, is, to my mind,
wrong. Because there are bad plays it does not necessarily follow that
there are no good plays. There are--not in plenty, I confess, but
nevertheless they exist. I believe in the theater in moderation, so long
as good actors and good plays are selected. Then I hold that the theater
is a source of education to a young man. It will bring before him the
lessons of life in a more effective way than is possible by any method
of reading or studying. But no general rule can be followed in this
form, or, for that matter, in any other form of amusement. To some young
men the theater is an absolute harm, and has an injurious effect. If he
is of susceptible mind and of weak character, he will be influenced by
the life he sees on the stage, believe it to be real, and, ofttimes as
not, he will fashion his own life and desires by it. This is where the
theater does positive injury, and such a young man should never attend
it. If, however, he is strong of character, and goes to the theater in
the right spirit, I believe it is good for him. A good play is a
wonderful stimulant, a powerful rejuvenant of spirits. It pleases the
senses as nothing else can do; it takes the mind away from every-day
affairs in a way that no factor in life, save, perhaps, a good book,
does. And a good play is as beneficial as a good book. As I have said
before, it is unfortunate that we have so few really good plays on the
boards of our theaters; but they are there, and we can find them if we
will only look out for them. And with care in our selection, it does us
all good to go to the theater and enjoy a hearty laugh, or to see the
mirror held up to nature. Young men are often puzzled, too, as to the
right position to assume as regards dancing. So far as this form of
amusement is concerned, I have always liked to believe that dancing,
like going to the theater, is good when enjoyed in moderation. Its
unhealthy possibilities in a moral sense no young fellow of the right
sort ever thinks of or considers. It is only when they are
discussed--as, unfortunately, they are all too often in print--that they
suggest themselves. Dancing, to my mind, when it is not indulged in
promiscuously, but with friends and acquaintances of the opposite sex,
is one of the highest forms of enjoyment, and one that gives to a young
fellow what we all should possess, grace and the ability to carry
ourselves well. But, like all good things, dancing can be abused, and
then the injurious effects come in. If a young fellow goes to a dance,
and dances all evening without any regard to his physical abilities, he
exhausts himself and is unfit for his regular duties on the morrow. When
the practice is followed in this wise, and a late supper--which
generally means cold or iced foods on a heated stomach--is indulged in,
then one of the most graceful and enjoyable of pleasures is taken out of
its proper place and becomes an injury.
There is one thing, however, which a young man carving his own career in
the world soon finds out for himself, and it is that dances, as a rule,
are very exhausting pleasures and generally mean late hours. And after a
while he feels that they interfere with his business duties on the
following day. Then it is that he must make a choice, and, of course,
dancing must suffer and "go by the board," so to speak. As I have said a
few paragraphs back, any social pleasure which interferes with a young
fellow's best business interests is bad. What one young man can stand
another cannot, and hence every one must decide for himself. He need
only keep his health in mind. If he finds that any pleasure--whether it
be attendance at the theater, dancing, or what not--makes him wish next
day that he had not indulged in it, it should be perfectly clear to him
that that particular social pleasure is not for him, and he should give
it up.
Card-playing has never had any special attraction for me, and so I can
say very little for it. A good game of whist, euchre, cribbage, or
hearts is enjoyable; but I have always felt that playing at whist,
particularly with experts, is more or less of a mental strain, and
should not be indulged in by those who are required to use their mental
faculties during the day. To some, however, it is a relaxation, a
recreation, and to these it is good. I am inclined to believe, however,
that the game of "poker" is one which a young man will be wisest if he
does not learn, since it is almost invariably associated with gambling.
And gambling at cards, or gambling or betting of any sort whatever, is a
practice in which no self-respecting young fellow can indulge. It is
generally the first step downward; and whether it tends in that way or
not, it always, without exception, has its evil effects. Therefore it is
wisest to shun it, and shun it absolutely.