THE END OF THE DREAM
She walked back rather slowly. It was a little cooler, but dusty, and
the hot pavements made her feet ache. She was just wondering whether she
would take a gharri when a motor stopped at the curb and Peter got out.
"What are you doing?" he asked crossly. "Why are you walking in all this
heat? You can't play these games in India. Get in."
He held the door open for her.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Ledgard," Jan said, sweetly. "Is it worth while for
such a little way?"
"Get in," Peter said again, and Jan meekly got in.
"I was just coming to see you, and I could have taken you anywhere you
wanted to go, if only you'd waited. Why didn't you take a gharri?"
"Since you must know," Jan said, smiling at the angry Peter, "I went out
because I wanted to go out. And I walked because I wanted to walk."
"You can't do things just because you want to do 'em in this infernal
country--you must consider whether it's a suitable time."
Jan made no answer, and silence reigned till they reached the bungalow.
Peter followed her in.
"Where did you go?" he asked. "And why?"
"I went to the Cathedral, and my reason was that I simply couldn't stay
in the bungalow because the lady below was singing 'Less than the
dust.'"
"I know," Peter said grimly. "Just the sort of thing she would sing."
"She sang very well," Jan owned honestly, "but when Fay was first
engaged she and Hugo used to sing those songs to each other--it seemed
all day long--and this afternoon I couldn't bear it. It seemed such a
sham somehow--so false and unreal, if it only led--to this."
"It's real enough while it lasts, you know," Peter remarked in the
detached, elderly tone he sometimes adopted. "That sort of thing's all
right for an episode, but it's a bit too thin for marriage."
"But surely episodes often end in marriage?"
"Not that sort, and if they do it's generally pretty disastrous. A woman
who felt she was less than the dust and rust and weeds and all that rot
wouldn't be much good to a man who had to do his job, for she wouldn't
do hers, you know."
"Then you, too, think that's the main thing--to do your job?"
"It seems to me it's the only thing that justifies one's existence.
Anyway, to try to do it decently."
"And you don't think one ought to expect to be happy and have things go
smoothly?"
"Well, they won't always, you know, whether you expect it or not; but
the job remains, so it's just as well to make up your mind to it."
"I suppose," Jan said thoughtfully, "that's a religion."
"It pans out as well as most," said Peter.
The days that had gone so slowly went quickly enough now. Jan had much
to arrange and no word came from Hugo. She succeeded in getting the
monthly bills from the cook, and paid them, and very timidly she asked
Peter if she might pay the wages for the time his servants had waited
upon them; but Peter was so huffy and cross she never dared to mention
it again.
The night before they all sailed Peter dined with her, and, after
dinner, took her for one last drive over Malabar Hill. The moon was
full, and when they reached Ridge Road he stopped the car and they got
out and stood on the cliff, looking over the city just as they had done
on her first evening in Bombay.
Some scented tree was in bloom and the air was full of its soft
fragrance.
For some minutes they stood in silence, then Jan broke it by asking:
"Mr. Ledgard, could Hugo take the children from me?"
"He could, of course, legally--but I don't for a minute imagine he will,
for he couldn't keep them. What about his people? Will they want to
interfere?"
"I don't think so; from the little he told us they are not very well
off. They live in Guernsey. His father was something in salt, I think,
out here. We've none of us seen them. They didn't come to Fay's
wedding. I gather they are very strict in their views--both his father
and mother--and there are two sisters. But Fay said Hugo hardly ever
wrote--or heard from them."
"There's just one thing you must face, Miss Ross," and Peter felt a
brute as he looked at Jan pale and startled in the bright moonlight.
"Hugo Tancred might marry again."
"Oh, surely no one would marry him after all this!"
"Whoever did would probably know nothing of 'all this.' Remember Hugo
Tancred has a way with women; he's a fascinating chap when he likes,
he's good-looking and plausible, and always has an excellent reason for
all his misfortunes. If he does marry again he'll marry money, and
_then_ he might demand the children."
"Perhaps she wouldn't want them."
"We'll hope not."
"And I can do nothing--nothing to make them safe?"
"I fear--nothing--only your best for them."
"I'll do that," said Jan.
They stood shoulder to shoulder in the scented stillness of the night.
The shadows were black and sharp in the bright moonlight and the
tom-toms throbbed in the city below.
"I wonder," Jan said presently, "if I shall ever be able to do anything
for you, Mr. Ledgard. You have done everything for us out here."
"Would you really like to do something?" Peter asked eagerly. "I
wouldn't have mentioned it if you hadn't said that just now. Would you
write pretty often? You see, I've no people of my very own. Aunts and
uncles and cousins don't keep in touch with one out here. They're kind,
awfully kind when I go home on leave, but it takes a man's own folk to
remember to write every mail."
"I'll write every mail," Jan promised eagerly, "and when you take your
next leave, remember we expect you at Wren's End."
"I'll remember," said Peter, "and it may be sooner than you think."
They sailed next day. Jan had spent six weeks in Bombay, and the whole
thing seemed a dream.
The voyage back was very different from the voyage out. The boat was
crowded, and nearly all were Service people going home on leave. Jan
found them very kind and friendly, and the children, with plenty of
others to play with, were for the most part happy and good.
The journey across France was rather horrid. Little Fay was as
obstreperous as Tony was disagreeably silent and aloof. Jan thanked
heaven when the crowded train steamed into Charing Cross.
There, at the very door of their compartment, a girl was waiting. A girl
so small, she might have been a child except for a certain decision and
capability about everything she did. She seized Jan, kissed her
hurriedly and announced that she had got a nice little furnished flat
for them till they should go to the country, and that Hannah had tea
ready; this young person, herself, helped to carry their smaller
baggage to a taxi, packed them in, demanded Jan's keys and announced
that she would bring the luggage in another taxi. She gave the address
to the man, and a written slip to Jan, and vanished to collect their
cabin baggage.
It was all done so briskly and efficiently that it left Ayah and the
children quite breathless, accustomed as they were to the leisurely
methods of the East.
"Who is vat mem?" asked little Fay, as the taxi door was slammed by this
energetic young person.
"Is she quite a mem?" suggested the accurate Tony. "Is she old enough or
big enough?"
"Who is vat mem?" little Fay repeated.
"That," said Jan with considerable satisfaction in her voice, "is Meg."