described--the woman on her back and the man over and above her--let
_this_ be done: Let the man lie on his left side, or partly on his
left side and partly on his back, facing the woman, his left leg drawn
up so that the thigh makes an angle of 45 degrees with the body, and
the knee bent at about the same angle. Now let her, lying on her right
side, mount into his arms, in this way: Let her place her right hip in
the angle made by her husband's left thigh and his body, so that _his
left leg_ supports _her hips_, by being under them; put her right leg
between his legs, throw her left leg over his right leg, put her right
arm around his neck, and her left arm should be placed across his body
under his right arm. His left arm should be placed around her waist
from below, and his right arm left free to move over her body, as
he may choose. Now in _this_ position, the man's hips make a sort of
saddle into which the woman "vaults" easily, naturally, and with the
greatest of comfort; while the man, with his whole body supported by
the bed, as he lies, will be perfectly comfortable, and can maintain
the position much longer, without tiring, than he could were he over
and above the woman, supporting himself by his elbows and knees, and
with the woman's arms around his waist, lifting her body thereby, and
thus adding her weight to his, all to be sustained by him. A moment's
consideration will disclose the fact that this position has many
points in its favor, beyond that of the man-superior form. The woman,
in this position, is not wholly superior, but she is partly on her
right side and partly on her belly. Her whole weight rests on her
husband's body, but her weight does not tire him, as the bed below him
easily supports them both.
Now, in this position, the sex organs are brought closely together and
their union is easily accomplished. But see! It is _now_ the _woman_,
and not the _man_ who has _full control_ of such meeting, and so can
regulate it to _her liking_, or _needs_. Her hips are perfectly free
to move towards, or from, those of the man; and so _she can determine
just how much or how little of his penis shall enter her vagina!_ And
if his penis is too long for her, she can accommodate her action to
such fact!
As for the man, his satisfaction will be fully equal to, if not
greater than it would be were he in the other position. The ease
afforded to his body, and the fact that he need have no fear of
hurting the woman, these things will be a delight to him, that is of
real value, and which will make for his delectation as much as for
that of the woman in his arms. The in-and-out motion is as easily
performed in this position as in the other; and at the climax, the
organs can be crowded together passionately, and still without hurting
the woman. For she, being free to move, can so curve her hips that
the pelvic bone, the _mons veneris_, as it is technically called, will
receive the most of the pressure, and at the same time the angle which
is thus made by the relative positions of the vagina and the penis
will keep the latter from penetrating the vagina too far, and so
will protect its rear walls and the womb from all danger of harm. The
orgasm is just as perfect in this position as in the other. It is just
as _natural_ as the other position, and has only to be tried to be
proved worthy.
And now one other point. (Curious how these details protract
themselves. But there is no help for it. We must continue, now that we
have begun.)
A very frequent cause of married unsatisfaction is the fact of the
_difference of time_ that it takes for the husband and wife to come to
the climax, the orgasm. As has already been noted, the highest delight
in the act comes when this climax is simultaneous, comes at exactly
the same instant to both parties. But to bring this about is not easy
in all cases, and hence what follows:
As a rule, women are slower in reaching the orgasm than are men. This
is not always so, but it is generally the case. Some wives are so
passionate that they will "spend" several times to their husbands'
once! The author knows of a case where the wife will regularly
experience the orgasm four or five times to her husband's once. She is
a lovely wife and a highly accomplished woman, in no sense "fleshy" or
"worldly minded." The situation is that her sex organs are exceedingly
sensitive while those of her husband are the reverse, they are "timed"
differently, that is all. The case is rare, and as a rule, women are
"timed" slower than men.
Again, after a man has passed the orgasm it is, in most cases,
impossible for him to continue the act, right then and there, and
bring the woman to the climax, if she has not yet arrived, from the
fact that, with the expulsion of the semen, usually detumescence of
the penis at once takes place, and the organ is incapable of exciting
the woman when in this condition. And so, if the husband "goes off"
_first_, there is no possibility of the wife's reaching the climax
at that embrace. This leaves her unsatisfied, all her sex organs
congested, and the whole situation is unsatisfactory, in the extreme.
On the other hand, if the wife comes to the orgasm first, her vulva
and vagina detumesce but little and that very slowly, so that it is
perfectly possible for the husband to continue his action, and come to
the climax, even if his partner has already "spent."
Under these conditions it is easy to see that, where the wife is
"keyed" or "timed" much slower than her husband, as is quite often
the case, coitus is very liable to be a very one-sided affair, one in
which the _husband gets all the satisfaction, and the wife little or_
NONE--_a most unfortunate status for both parties, but especially for
the wife._ The writer once knew a case where a husband and wife lived
together to celebrate their golden wedding, and the wife never once
experienced an orgasm, though the husband cohabited with her several
times a month, during the most of their married life. There was no
good reason why this should have been so, only that the husband was
"quick in action" and the wife somewhat slow, and they had never
synchronated their time differences. The dear old lady died at ninety,
never having known a joy that, since her bridal night, she had wished
for. Both the husband and wife were most excellent people. _They
simply didn't know!_ One was ignorant and the other innocent, and
there you are again!
Now the thing to do, under such circumstances, is for the parties
to "get together." And the way to do this is, first, to _prolong the
FIRST part_ of the act, till the wife has not only caught up with, but
is even _ahead_ of her husband in the state of her passion. To bring
about this condition, _the husband should use every means to stimulate
his wife's sex-nature and increase her desire for coition._ Here are
some things he can do, which will tend to produce such results:
A woman's breasts are directly connected with all her reproductive
nerves. This is especially true of her nipples. To touch them is to
directly excite all of her sex organs. The lips and tongue are also
thus nervously connected with these vital parts, and, so, if the
husband will "play" with his wife's breasts, especially with her
nipples, manipulating them with his fingers, or, better still, with
his lips and tongue--at the same time, if he will stroke her vulva
with his fingers, especially the clitoris, _and if she will encourage
him to do this_, by holding her breast with one hand, shaking it about
as her nipple is in her lover's lips; if, lying flat on her back, her
husband at her right side, and with his left arm around her waist, she
will spread her legs wide apart, thus opening the vulva to its utmost,
and sway her hips, raising and lowering them betimes; and, since she
has a free hand, if, with this, she will take her husband's penis with
it and "play" with it as her lover plays with her vulva--if they will
do this, the cases are rare in which passion will not grow in the wife
to almost any desirable extent. Under such "courting," the parts will
all enlarge, the pre-coital secretion will flow in abundance; and,
in due course, all will be ready for the second part of the act. This
part of coitus is, really, one of the most enjoyable of the entire
performance.
If, perchance, the pre-coital secretion should be tardy in appearing
on the part of the wife, so that the vulva is dry as the husband
strokes it, let him moisten the part with saliva from his mouth. To do
this, let him moisten his _fingers_ from his mouth, and transfer this
to the vulva, and then proceed with his stroking. This moistening the
vulva with saliva may be repeated _several_ times, _if necessary_,
always until the flow of pre-coital fluid from the parts themselves
renders any further moistening needless. _The stroking of the dry
vulva will do little toward the arousing of passion, or producing the
pre-coital flow_. But if the parts be moistened, as above directed,
both these desired results will follow, except in _very_ rare cases.
And let no one make the mistake of thinking that thus moistening the
vulva with saliva is unseemly, or unsanitary. It is neither. On the
contrary, it is nature's way of helping to perfection an act which,
but for such timely assistance, might never be brought to a successful
issue. As has already been noted, chemically, saliva and the
pre-coital fluid are almost identical. They are both a natural
secretion of a mucous membrane, are alkaline in reaction, their native
purpose is lubrication, and, as a matter of fact, the saliva is
as natural an application to the lips of the vulva as it is to the
interior of the mouth or throat. Truth to tell, the practice of
applying saliva to the genitals before coition is very general,
so much so that it might almost be counted as instinctive. It is
mentioned here only to remove any prejudice that might linger in the
sophisticated mind of the reader. Such use of saliva is no more to
be deprecated than its application in a hundred other ways, such as
moistening the fingers to turn a leaf, of "licking" one's fingers
after eating candy. Such use of this fluid from the mouth might be
condemned by the "over-nice," but it is quite universally practiced,
and it is neither unwholesome nor unsanitary.
It is sometimes recommended that some form of oil, as sweet oil
or vaseline, be used as an unguent for anointing the parts before
engaging in coitus, but this practice cannot be recommended. Oil
is not a natural product of the parts to which it is applied, it is
chemically unlike their secretions, and to smear the delicate organs
with a fluid that is foreign to their nature, is unwise, unsanitary,
not to say filthy. It is like greasing the mouth to make food slip
down easily. And it is easy to understand how such application of
an unguent to the mouth would impair the taste, dull the nerves of
sensation, and greatly interfere with the native and wholesome uses of
the oral cavity.
So don't be afraid or ashamed to use saliva in preparing the vulva and
the vagina for the reception of their natural mate.
And so, to return to where we left off, if the wife is slower
timed than her husband, her passion can be greatly increased by the
manipulation just described. Indeed, it could be very easily carried
to such length--the lips and tongue playing with the nipple, and the
finger-stroking of the vulva--that the woman could be brought to
an orgasm without the union of the organs at all! This is a form of
masturbation (this word has a bad meaning attached to it, but it is a
good word, as will shortly be shown, and it has its legitimate uses;
but, as a preparation for coition, it should not be carried any
further than is essential for bringing the laggard passion of the
woman up to an equal tension of that of her lover.) A few weeks', or
months', practice will enable a wife to determine just how much
of this form of "courting" will bring her to the desired point of
excitement; and, when this point is reached, she should invite her
husband to "come up over," if the first position is to be adopted for
the rest of the act; or, she should throw herself into her lover's
arms, if the second position is used.
Just a little more--If, after getting into one position or the other,
it seems to the wife that she is not yet fairly abreast of her husband
in the intensity of her passion, let her _still further_ seek to
advance it, as follows:
If the position with the husband superior is taken, let him, after he
has gotten into place and before the organs are united, have his wife
take his penis in her hand, and, as he moves his hips up and down,
stroke her vulva, especially the clitoris, with the glans penis--not
entering the vagina at once, but continuing this form of _exterior_
contact of the organs, for a longer or shorter time--slipping past the
wide open vaginal mouth, even when the wife raises her thighs and,
as it were, begs for an entrance; tantalizing her to the point of
distraction--till, finally, she will "take no for an answer" no
longer, but will, in an ecstacy, slip the penis into the vagina, and
thus consummate their union.
If she be far enough abandoned with her passion, such entrance may be
made at a single stroke, not to say a furious plunge. But if the vulva
and vagina are not yet fully dilated, the entrance should be carefully
made, gently made, as she can bear it, as _she_ wishes it to be.
Sometimes, yes, not infrequently, in this position, the external
stroking of the organs may be continued to the very verge of the
orgasm, so that, especially if the entrance can be made, as it were,
in a frenzy of passionate delight, the organs coming into full length
union at a single impulse, or rushing together--then the simultaneous
climax _may_ be reached with one or two in-and-out motions--or,
perhaps the single master-plunge may win the goal instanter! If so, a
consummation devoutly to be wished has been successfully reached!
Again, if the wife is slow, and the man is quick, in this play for
"getting together," it will enable the man to greatly extend and
protract what might be called the time of his possible _retention_,
if he can keep the foreskin over the glans penis. Some men cannot do
this. If they have been circumcised, of course they cannot! But if the
glans penis can be covered with the foreskin during all this playing
together, it will enable the husband to prolong his "retentional
time" far beyond what he otherwise could. Some men have the power of
"retaining" to almost any length of time by the exercise of their will
power, and so they can _wait_ for their wives. If the wife is slower
timed than the husband, he should _carefully cultivate the "art of
retaining"_ and so wait for her. _To do this successfully will greatly
increase married happiness_.
This same remark (keeping the gland covered) applies with equal force
to the possibilities of the man's retention after the organs are
united, and all through the third part of the act. If the penis can
enter the vagina with its "natural cap on," the husband can give his
wife the pleasure of many times the amount of in-and-out motion than
he could otherwise bestow upon her. And if the wife is the slower of
the two (as is generally the case) she will greatly appreciate such a
favor, and will repay it a THOUSAND FOLD by the responsive, reciprocal
motions which she will LAVISH upon her _considerate_ lover.
This is an item of almost supreme importance--this "keeping the
cap on" the penis, during the act, _if the wife is slower than the
husband_--if they need to have a care, to insure their "getting off
together."
And here is a curious fact, which would seem to show that Mother
Nature has especially provided a blissful reward for both the husband
and wife who will be careful on this point. Thus, if the husband will
be careful to have the glans penis covered with the foreskin (and, of
course, this can _never_ be, if the organs are united when the vulva
and vagina are dry) when it enters the vagina, and will so engage in
the in-and-out motion that it will _stay covered_ as the _third_ act
progresses--if this is done, when the climax comes, if the two
"spend together," the womb will open its mouth as it were, clasp
the foreskin, slip it back over the gland so that, when the supreme
instant comes, the naked gland will be in the most direct and blissful
contact with the most sensitive part of the uterus! This is a most
wonderful provision of nature, and to utilize it, and enjoy it to its
utmost, is the maximum of human delight!
Again, if after the organs are well together, in the man-superior
position, and the in-and-out motion has begun, it should be found
that the wife is still behind in the game, she can gain greatly in
"catching up" if she is permitted to _originate_ the larger part of
the motion. To enable her to do this, let her husband hold his body
quite well above her, so that she can have plenty of freedom to move
her hips as she may choose to. Added to this, if the husband will, in
large measure, "hold still," and keep his penis in such position that
it presses against the _upper part_ of the vulva, that is against the
clitoris, (as the phrase goes, if he will "ride high") and then permit
his _wife_ to make "long strokes," sliding the organs together for
their full possible length, with the clitoris in constant contact with
the penis, during the whole of each stroke--all of this will greatly
and rapidly increase her passions and bring her to the climax.
Or, as a variation from this, if the organs can be united to their
fullest possible limit, so that the base of the penis presses firmly
against the Mons Veneris, and the clitoris and labiae almost clasp
their mate; and then, in this position, if the husband will maintain
the _status quo_, while she lifts her hips hard against his, and
_swings them about_, in a sort of circular motion "round and round,"
as it were--this will also greatly increase her passion, and soon
bring her to the climax.
In both these last described ways of courting, the husband should be
_extra careful not_ to permit the weight of his body to press down
heavily upon his wife. He should _wholly_ sustain himself on his
elbows and knees, and permit her to lift herself, at least her hips,
by the help of her arms around his waist. This is no hardship for the
husband, if he be a true lover. For is he not strong, and what is his
strength for but to delight his sweetheart? _A true, devoted, virile
and manly lover is always at the service of his sweetheart! To delight
her, is to doubly delight himself_. This is another point of which
mere animals know nothing. There is nothing in all their nature which
responds to the like of this, in any way. The whole experience is
_human_; it is productive of a joy, of a _spiritual elevation_, which
mere animality knows nothing of--can know nothing of.
Playing thus together, courting each other thus (For, through all
these actions, a line of _complete mutualness must run_! The husband
may _seem_ to be specially accommodating himself, and all he does, to
his wife's whims or necessities; but, even so, this will be more of
a delight to _him_ than it is to _her_, viewed from the _spiritual
plane_, on the principle that "it is more blessed to give than to
receive"--and no truer words than these were ever spoken--while,
at the same time, the wife, though _seeming_ only to be gratifying
herself, to be reaching after what she alone desires, yet, as a matter
of fact, by her very so doing--and the more perfectly, completely, she
does this, the better--she is gratifying and delighting her husband to
the utmost possible limit) courting each other thus, the lovers will
learn to "time" themselves together, perfectly, each knowing just when
the other is fully ready, by a sort of _spiritual consciousness_, as
it were, and so a perfect climax can be reached.
Take time, LET LOVE RULE AND DIRECT; BANISH ALL SELFISHNESS; _Let the
husband keep his head, and_ THE WIFE UTTERLY LOSE HERS, throwing it
to the winds, to be wholly swept away by the whirlwind of her passion;
feeling free, delighting, to let it go, go, go, no one cares where!
Do these things, and married life will be glorious! Of such is the
kingdom of heaven, for the truly wedded lovers!
This will be "all Greek," or "foolishness" to the selfish and
materially-minded; but to the truly wise, it will be _life
immeasurable_. This is a paradox, but it takes a paradox to tell the
greatest truths!
So much for the act of coitus in the man-superior position, when the
wife is slower timed than the husband and they adopt this method,
and the accompanying means for "getting together." Now, if the other
position is taken, that of the wife semi-superior, in the husband's
arms, as he lies partly on his back and partly on his left side, etc.,
here are a few points to be noted to advantage.
Still assuming that the wife is the slower-timed of the two, it is
entirely possible that when she has "come over" and has gotten into
position, that she may not yet be fully ready for the union of the
organs. The very time that it takes for her to get into position, the
changing of the position of her body, from her back to her right side;
the temporary cessation of the stroking of the vulva by her husbands's
[sic] fingers; all these things will have a tendency to retard her
passion, for the time being, and all this loss ought to be made good,
if not added to, before the _second_ part of the act is entered upon.
And, in this position, all this can most happily be brought about, as
follows:--
Lying in each other's arms, in this _second_ described position, the
organs naturally _come_ into contact in such a way as to make the
further excitation of the vulva and clitoris most natural and easy.
The spreading of the wife's hips, caused by her throwing her left leg
over her husband's right and drawing up of her left knee, opens the
vulva wide; and, at the same time, the penis, from the very nature
of its position, will lie at full length in the opening, thus
exposed--not entering the vagina, but remaining "without the gate" as
yet.
By this time the vulva will have become enlarged and elongated, the
lips full and the clitoris erect, all in a state of tumescence, and
all covered with the pre-coital fluid; the lips so distended that,
when thus parted, they form the sides of a labial canal, as it were (a
delectable, and most delicately smooth-walled channel). Now, in this
extended condition, which is fully as long as the penis, from end
to end of its pathway of dalliance, every part covered with the most
delicately sensitive nerve-filaments, and all of these in an ecstasy
of keenness to the sense of touch, and in the most perfect of "love's
strolling way,"--if the penis, as it were, stands up full and strong,
in such fashion that it touches the vulva at every point, both inner
and outer labiae, the clitoris and all, for a space of five or six
inches in length; while the protruded and well-moistened lips of the
vulva as it were reach out, and clasp themselves at least half way
around their suitor, laving him with their luscious kisses--in this
position, the wife being partly above, and so, perfectly free to move
her "love way" as she will, she can slide the pathway itself a full
six or more inches, up and down, stroking all the area against the
penis as she moves; that, again, by its very position, being held
firmly in contact by its stiffness and stoutness; the glans penis
throbbing lustily against the clitoris when the two meet at the
extreme of the wife's up-stroke; she, pausing an instant, just then,
to more perfectly enjoy the sensation; the penis slipping past the
now wide open vaginal mouth, which reaches out at every down stroke to
engulf it--dallying, delaying, coquetting, tantalizing, both man and
woman; playing the game in almost a swoon of ecstatic delight--under
such conditions the wife's passion will rush to its fullest
development, till, when she will, she can drop her vagina upon the
penis in such a way that the _two will be made one_, in absolute
perfection, on a single move, and from this to the finish it is but a
few motions distant.
In some respects this manner of coitus, and this means of "going off
together" is unsurpassed.
Which leads to the remark that this position is sometimes the best for
the full completion of the act. It is the easiest of all positions,
the least fatiguing. And if the wife is tired, or not quite "up to
grade," she can enjoy an embrace of this sort without fatigue, even
to the full. For the organs can be united in this position quite
perfectly, though the penis will not penetrate the vagina to as great
a length as in the other position. Still, the climax can be perfectly
reached in this way, and it is one of the best ways to make sure of
perfect "timing," of "spending" exactly together, which is greatly in
its favor.
If there is a mis-matching of the organs, the vagina of the wife being
too short for her husband's penis, this is a most excellent way for
meeting and overcoming that difficulty.
This naturally leads to another matter, as follows:--It might seem
to the reader that the different "strokings" of the vulva, with the
fingers, or the penis, all the contact being outside the vagina, that
all of these methods of excitation smack of masturbation, and so are
of doubtful rightness. In reply to which, note the following: