* * * * *
"You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but
you may prevent them from stopping to build their nests there."
* * * * *
In general society one should always avoid discussions upon two
subjects--religion and politics. In a discussion upon either of these
subjects you will find very little intellectual honesty, and it will
almost invariably lead to irritating differences of opinion.
* * * * *
A gentleman is one who understands and shows every mark of deference to
the claims of self-love in others and exacts it in return from them.
HAZLITT.
* * * * *
"There is no real conflict between truth and politeness; what is
imagined to be such is only the crude mistake of those who fail to
discover their harmony. Politeness, taken in its best sense, is the
graceful expression of respect, kind feeling, and good will."
* * * * *
"Beloved among women is she who, having warned a friend of the
consequences to follow rash doings, will, when her prophecies have
come true, withhold the triumphant: I told you so!"
_Boston Journal._
* * * * *
"No one loses by politeness to, or by the trifling exercise of apparent
pleasure in a caller. While I have no wish to counsel insincerity, there
is a wide difference between that offensive veneer and the pure metal of
consideration for the feelings of a stranger within one's gate."
LADY BELLAIR'S ADVICE TO GIRLS.
WHAT TO AVOID.
A loud, weak, affected, whining, harsh or shrill tone of voice.
Extravagances in conversation--such phrases as "Awfully this," "Beastly
that," "Loads of time," "Don't you know," "Hate" for "dislike," etc.
Sudden exclamations of annoyance, surprise and joy,--often dangerously
approaching to "female swearing"--as "Bother!" "Gracious!" "How jolly!"
Yawning when listening to anyone.
Talking on family matters, even to bosom friends.
Attempting any vocal or instrumental piece of music that you cannot
execute with ease.
Crossing your letters.
Making a sharp, short nod with the head, intended to do duty as a bow.
WHAT TO CULTIVATE.
An unaffected, low, distinct, silver-toned voice.
The art of pleasing those around you, and seeming pleased with them and
all they may do for you.
The charm of making little sacrifices quite naturally, as if of no
account to yourself.
The habit of making allowances for the opinions, feelings, or prejudices
of others.
An erect carriage--that is, a sound body.
A good memory for faces, and facts connected with them--thus avoiding
giving offence through not recognizing or bowing to people, or saying to
them what had best been left unsaid.
The art of listening without impatience to prosy talkers, and smiling at
the twice-told tale or joke.
* * * * *
"He who would see his sons and daughters thoroughly and truly gentle,
must forbid selfishness of action, rudeness of speech, carelessness of
forms, impoliteness of conduct from the first, and demand that in
childhood and the nursery shall be laid the foundation of that good
breeding which is as a jewel of price to the mature man and woman."
* * * * *
"Many persons consider that 'bad temper' is entirely voluntary on the
part of the person who displays it. As a matter of fact it is often, to
a very great extent, involuntary, and no one is more angry at it than
the bad tempered person himself. Of course everyone, whether he is born
with a bad temper or has acquired one from habit, or has been visited
with one as the result of disease or injury, should at least try to
control it. But his friends should also bear in mind that bad temper may
be, and often is, an affliction to be sympathized with, not an offence
to be punished."
_Once A Week._
* * * * *
There are some people so given over to the pettiness of fault-picking,
that if they should suddenly see the handwriting on the wall, they would
disregard its awful warning in their eager haste to point out its
defective penmanship.
BRANDER MATTHEWS.
* * * * *
"We are all dissatisfied. The only difference is that some of us sit
down in the squalor of our dissatisfaction, while others make a ladder
of it."
* * * * *
Mrs. Julia Ward Howe said, in speaking of Longfellow, that "his personal
charm was in a delicateness of mind that was truly cosmopolitan; he had
a vivid appreciation of what was beautiful and noble, and he represented
the purest taste and the most perfect feeling." Was there ever given a
finer definition of a gentleman?
* * * * *
"Set a watch over thy mouth, and keep the door of thy lips, for a
tale-bearer is worse than a thief."
THE BIBLE.
* * * * *
"He submits to be seen through a microscope who suffers himself to be
caught in a passion."
* * * * *
"It isn't what you wear in this life, gentlemen; it is how you wear it.
It isn't so much what you do; it is how you do it. There are people who
do tasteful things vulgarly, and vulgar things tastefully. Who was it
that
_'Kicked them downstairs with such very fine grace,
They thought he was handing them up'?_
"A sense of humor is one of the most precious gifts that can be
vouchsafed to a human being. He is not necessarily a better man for
having it, but he is a happier one. It renders him indifferent to good
or bad fortune. It enables him to enjoy his own discomfiture. Blessed
with this sense, he is never unduly elated or cast down. No one can
ruffle his temper. No abuse disturbs his equanimity. Bores do not bore
him. Humbugs do not humbug him. Solemn airs do not impose on him.
Sentimental gush does not influence him. The follies of the moment have
no hold on him."
_Boston Journal._
* * * * *
There is always a best way of doing everything, if it be but to boil an
egg. Manners are the happy way of doing things; each one the stroke of
genius or of love--now repeated and hardened into usage. Your manners
are always under examination, and by committees little suspected--a
police in citizen's clothes--but are awarding or denying you very high
prizes when you least think of it.
EMERSON.
* * * * *
My experience of life makes me sure of one truth, which I do not try to
explain; that the sweetest happiness we ever know, the very wine of
human life, comes not from love, but from sacrifice--from the effort to
make others happy. This is as true to me as that my flesh will burn if I
touch red-hot metal.
JOHN BOYLE O'REILLY.
* * * * *
"A wise man will turn adverse criticism and malicious attacks to good
account. He will consider carefully whether there is not in him some
weakness or fault which, although he never discovered, was plain to the
eye of his enemy. Many men profit more by the assaults of foes than by
the kindness of friends."
* * * * *
"Politeness is like an air cushion: there may be nothing in it, but it
eases our jolts wonderfully."
* * * * *
Don't flatter yourself that friendship authorizes you to say
disagreeable things to your intimates. On the contrary, the nearer you
come into relation with a person the more necessary do tact and courtesy
become. Except in cases of necessity, which are rare, leave your friend
to learn unpleasant truths from his enemies: they are ready enough to
tell them. Good breeding never forgets that _amour-propre_ is universal.
O. W. HOLMES.
* * * * *
Whatever our disbeliefs, most of us profoundly believe in goodness; and
we incline to believe that a man who has practically learned the secret
of noble living has somehow got near the truth of things.
GEO. S. MERRIAM.
* * * * *
"A man's bad temper sometimes does more toward spoiling a dinner than a
woman's bad cooking."
* * * * *
_Her voice was ever soft,
Gentle and low; an excellent thing in
Woman._
SHAKESPEARE.
* * * * *
True politeness is perfect ease and freedom. It simply consists in
treating others just as you love to be treated yourself.
CHESTERFIELD.
* * * * *
A man has no more right to say an uncivil thing than to act one, no more
right to say a rude thing to another than to knock him down.
JOHNSON.
* * * * *
How sweet and gracious, even in common speech,
Is that fine sense which men call courtesy!
Wholesome as air and genial as the light,
Welcome in every clime as breath of flowers,----
It transmutes aliens into trusting friends,
And gives its owner passport round the globe.
J. T. FIELDS.
THE END.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES
1. Passages in italics are surrounded by _underscores_.
2. Punctuation errors have been corrected without note.
3. The following misprints have been corrected:
"repuation" corrected to "reputation" (page 2)
"sympatheic" corrected to "sympathetic" (page 38)
"Stael" corrected to "Stael" (page 59)
4. Other than the corrections listed above, printer's inconsistencies
in spelling and hyphenation have been retained.