CHAPTER X.

SOME DOMESTIC DETAILS.

I think that I am more often consulted about how to manage servants, and

how to apportion an income, than on any other detail of domestic

management, and therefore I am of opinion that a few more words on these

subjects may not be out of place here, although, as I have repeatedly

stated elsewhere, no real help can be given by a stranger on either

matter, and that only a species of general rule can be laid down, either

about the management of the maids or how to set apart and divide the

income we may have to spend. To begin with the income: I have had two

scales drawn up by an accountant, and now present them here for what

they are worth. The first is the very smallest income that any two

people should marry upon, in my opinion; although I know many folks,

especially among the ranks of the clerics, who ought to know much

better, who continually do so, and as continually have numerous

families, for which they cannot provide in the least, and for which they

beg in the most shameless manner, and for whom I have neither sympathy

nor patience. As a rule these unfortunates live in the country and have

big gardens and houses found them rent free, but I have nothing to say

to them here, and, as I cannot conceive how ladies and gentlemen can

bring up, clothe, and feed their children, and manage their household

respectably on less than 800_l._ a year, I have no ideas on the subject,

and therefore cannot write on what I know nothing about.

Let us therefore take the ordinary young lawyer or young man who is

‘something in the City,’ that unknown City, the occupations of which are

so mysterious in my eyes, and let us suppose he has 500_l._ to spend

every year, increasing, let us hope, should he indulge in the luxury of

a family; a luxury he has no more right to go in for on a tiny income

than he would have to set up a carriage and pair, without being able to

pay all the concomitant expenses; and this is how he should parcel out

his expenditure:

£ _s.__d._

House-rent in London 80 0 0

Rates and taxes 20 0 0

Repairs to house and furniture 30 0 0

Two servants’ wages and keep 90 0 0

Keep of self and wife, _at least_ 75 0 0

Clothes for wife and pocket-money 50 0 0

Clothes for husband, including his daily

luncheon and City journey 70 0 0

Coals 6 0 0

Life insurance 27 0 0

Summer outing 12 10 0

Washing 16 0 0

-----------

476 10 0

Leaving: the magnificent sum of 24_l._ 10_s._ to cover doctors’ bills

and the thousand and one incidental expenses which are always cropping

up, to say nothing of amusement. One could hardly rise to the upper

boxes on 500_l._ a year if one must live in town and have appearances to

keep up as well.

It is better at first, if the income is very small, to live in the

suburbs. There are not so many temptations to spend money, and there

would not be much going out. In London of course, the going out is

endless; there must be cabs, new gloves, flowers, and the hundred and

one extras that carry off one’s money, and two servants are a _sine quâ

non_. If the suburbs are selected, cabs and evening gloves, &c., need

not be legislated for; one servant could do the work; and the house-rent

and taxes would come to 50_l._ instead of 100_l._; but there would be

the husband’s season-ticket to consider, and furthermore the intense

dulness that is the wife’s portion, for suburban residents are not

hospitable; they are, most of them, not very well off, for of course all

rich people fly to London; they are mutually suspicious of each other’s

_bona fides_, and are, moreover, engrossed as a rule in their domestic

duties, and when the husband returns from town he is not only tired with

his work, but with the added railway journey; he usually hankers after

his garden in the summer and his arm-chair by the fire in the winter,

and does not care to go out, more especially as he judges from his own

feelings in the matter, and is quite sure his host wishes him at home in

bed quite as much as he wishes himself there.

But, again, here I must show how impossible it is for another person to

really advise a friend on this subject of division of income

satisfactorily. There are plenty of suburban residents who are

absolutely satisfied with their fate, and are equal to the misfortune of

a small income. In that case I have told them precisely how they can

manage best on the sum of 500_l._ a year. I can assure them they will

have to be most economical and excellent managers to do that; and they

can furthermore understand that it costs about 50_l._ a year to add a

child to the establishment, and that 45_l._ a year is supposed to keep

and pay a servant. These two details will be of assistance, maybe, when

the income increases and the owners thereof contemplate a little

launching out.

An income of 1,000_l._ a year should be apportioned as follows:

£ _s._ _d._

House 100 0 0

Rates and taxes 33 0 0

Repairs, renewals, &c. 50 0 0

Two servants (rather better wages allowed) 100 0 0

Keep of self and wife 100 0 0

Wine, &c. 12 10 0

Clothes and pocket-money for wife 75 0 0

Clothes for husband 100 0 0

Coals 10 0 0

Insurance 50 0 0

Summer outing 30 0 0

Washing 26 0 0

Balance for incidentals 313 10 0

---------------

1,000 0 0

And this larger balance would be drawn, upon for the extra expenses,

such as entertaining and amusements, charities, and the thousand and one

pleasant ways of spending money that are open to the possessor of the

larger income, and are rigorously out of the reach of the owner of

500_l._ a year.

Then, too, there are all sorts and conditions of things to consider

before laying down a law on the subject of apportioning the income; such

for example as the consideration if the income dies with the husband,

or if it may come from capital safely invested. In the former case the

insurance ought to be very largely increased, as that is the only

absolutely safe manner of saving one’s money. As a rule it costs about

27_l._ a year to insure the receipt of 1,000_l._ at death if the insurer

is a young man, and I ask all intending bridegrooms to consider what

this would mean if this be all the provision they can make for their

brides, supposing they were to die and leave them with two or three

little children and no other means. They could not live on 40_l._ a

year, which is about all they would receive, and I therefore do trust

all young men will seriously consider the matter before rushing into

matrimony. At present a great many folk are like the ostrich, they bury

their heads in the sands of present content and never consider the evil

days that are before them. If they remain two, no one can blame them,

but I do blame unendingly the selfish creatures who burden this

overcrowded world with more genteel paupers. If people on small incomes

insist on doing this, let them have the courage to bring up their

daughters as upper servants and their boys to good honest trades; it is

the genteel pauper, the girl who can paint a little, teach a little, and

embroider a little, and the boy who, come what may, must wear a black

coat or its equivalent in light tweeds, who have no right to be made to

exist, and for whom the world has absolutely nothing to offer save a

certain amount of snubs and a very large quantity of the unappetising

dish known as the cold shoulder.

Therefore, if the income dies with the husband and there are children, a

certain amount of money must be put aside annually for insurance; it

ought to be enough to bring in 100_l._ a year to insure the wife from

starvation when she is too old, too worn with all she has had to do to

attempt to keep herself; and there should also be no false pride about

the manner in which the children are educated; they should go to Board

schools, where the teaching is excellent and far better than one can

procure at ordinary small schools, which may be much more ‘genteel’ but

will not be half as useful; for the Board schools are far and away

better than anything that could be obtained from the wretchedly

underpaid teachers who would be the girls’ portion. The necessary

companionship with wretchedly poor and dirty children, which is the

great drawback to a Board school education, could be mitigated if all

those who are really worthy of the Board school education were to share

it; and surely a good mother could tell her boys exactly what to avoid,

and the lads could come straight home and simply be taught in the

school. The girls would not need so much looking after, for they are far

more conservative naturally than boys: boys will play with and talk to

anyone; a girl very soon discriminates for herself, and will not play

with another if she suspects her to be in the very smallest degree below

her in the social scale.

It will be observed that I do not in the least take a sentimental view

of life, for I feel that when one contemplates the terrible army of

martyrs, the girls who have been ‘genteelly’ brought up and are

‘genteelly’ starving or living on their most unwilling and hard-working

relations, one cannot say too much or write too much on this subject,

and I cannot also but think that when there is the cry in the land that

there undoubtedly is for more servants, more good and trustworthy

lassies to help us with our domestic duties, and that when ladies in

Australia are so pressed by their troubles and by the fact that they

cannot get ‘help’ for love or money that they are actually driven to

write to their papers to suggest that men may marry more wives than one,

because no one but a wife is found to do house work, and that one wife

is not sufficient for the purpose, it is quite time that the surplus

maidens should consider whether it is quite as impossible to become a

servant as it appears to be now. As decorators, governesses, and

spoilers of canvas, they are undoubtedly not wanted, but they are

required badly for simple domestic work, which is, none of it, half as

hard as unlimited tennis, dancing all night, or rowing: not any of it

half as unpleasant as is living on the begrudged charity of some

relation, who wants all his hard-earned savings for his own children, or

as degrading as is marrying the first man who asks them, and who can

give them some sort of a home, for whom they have not the smallest

respect--the very smallest amount of affection.

Now, of course there are disagreeable details about house work, and

scrubbing cannot be pleasant, but surely the ‘scrubber’ could come in

daily and do up the worst of the ‘chores,’ as the Yankees say; and what

is the rest? Waiting at table, not half as unpleasant as selling at

fancy fairs; opening and answering the door, not half as hateful as

bringing one’s wretched little painted match-boxes and tambourines to an

overstocked guild, or a most unsympathising and equally overstocked

shopman, who is often far more impertinent than any caller ever could be

to the lowest maid in the establishment; and I personally should prefer

to make beds, wash china, dust rooms, and clean silver to hanging about

listlessly in a shabby frock, knowing quite well that I could never have

another unless some reluctant relation gave me one she would much rather

have given to her own children; and I cannot recollect any duties which

would be expected from the girls which I have not enumerated above, or

that they could not honestly undertake in a sheltered home and under

proper matronly care.

And if all servants were ladies--and I see no reason why every servant

should not be a lady if she tries--think how much more our houses would

be our own than they are at present! Even with the best of maids there

are always places in it and corners where we feel we cannot go exactly

when and where we like, and where, try as we will, we cannot be

absolutely sure that thorough cleanliness prevails and where, moreover,

we cannot be ‘decorative’ because all our efforts are frustrated by

those who cannot shake off their early training and can no more refrain

from smashing china and scraping paper off the walls than they can learn

to trust us implicitly and in their turn allow us to trust them.

Remember, I personally never can nor will join in the fearful outcry

against the maids which I hear on all sides of me. I have related my own

experiences in Vol. I. of this book, ‘From Kitchen to Garret’ and I have

not one word to add or take from what I have said there. I still

maintain, if you take your servants young and train them yourself, and

if you don’t expect perfection and show that you mean to be obeyed, you

will have no trouble; but you will never have perfect service until you

can have ladies in your house, whose ladyhood will ensure the perfect

trustworthiness, the honesty, the cleanliness that no cottage-bred girl

can ever give, because she can never be taught to really comprehend the

necessity of all these particulars.

Mrs. Crawshay’s scheme of lady helps has, I believe, quite collapsed; at

all events, one hears nothing about it now; but I see no reason why an

earnest effort should not be made to try sending our superfluous girls

to Australia as lady helps, and then, if that succeeds, trying them in

England, where there seems to me to be a real and crying want of good

domestic servants. I am only judging from other people’s woes; for,

although I dare say I have mine before me, I have not experienced them

yet, and have always been able to find what I wanted without any undue

exertion on my part. Of course the house would have to be reorganised to

some extent. The bedrooms would have to be as fresh and pretty as one

could make them; and, above all, we must reform our kitchens, which are

at present the most unhealthy, disagreeable, and odious rooms in the

whole house, as they are undoubtedly the ugliest, and where, in ordinary

households, the unfortunate maids have winter and summer to sit while

the cooking is done, and in heat that I wonder allows them to live at

all, and that must exasperate their tempers as much as it must try their

constitutions.

Now let us consider the ideal house and the ideal kitchen, and I cannot

see myself why both should not exist; let us build our washing-stands so

that hot and cold water are able to be turned into the basin which can

overtip and empty itself; smaller conveniences could be managed in the

same manner, and all the housemaid would have to do would be to wipe out

the basins daily, to sweep up the pieces with the ‘Ewbank’

carpet-sweeper, which makes no dust and picks up every morsel off the

floor, to make the beds and dust, the very making of the beds being

simplified by the chain and hair mattresses now general. All that has to

be done is to turn the mattress daily, to spread the under blanket and

sheet absolutely smoothly over it and tuck them in, to replace the

bolster and pillows, and the over supply of blankets, &c., carefully

straightened and tucked in. Is that harder than tennis, more menial,

forsooth, than living on one’s relations, or husband-hunting genteelly

under the greatest of all difficulties, the difficulty of looking nice

and merry, and being good-tempered, on absolutely no means at all?

Now let us take the ideal kitchen, the kitchen as made and designed by

Mr. G. Faulkner Armitage, of Stamford House, Altrincham, Cheshire, who

has most kindly drawn for me the different pieces of furniture with

which he decorates this charming room of his, and which, in the

Manchester Exhibition, were stained green and decorated with brass

hinges and locks, and see how we could adapt this to our present style

of house, the house with the tiny kitchen, the smaller laundry, pantry,

and scullery, and where there is not an atom of sitting-room apart from

where all the work is going forward. In that case is it worth while to

make a pretty room, and if we do can it be possibly kept so? I think it

can, even with our present maids, whose taste for the beautiful is not

largely developed; it most certainly could if we are given the maid of

the future, the real lady-maid, who may come forward to the rescue of

those unhappy beings who at present haunt the precincts of registry

offices and spend small fortunes on advertisements which can have only

the most barren results.

But before I go on to speak of the ideal kitchen and the cook of the

future; who will hardly concern my readers, as she is not born at

present, or if she be is certainly not ready for engagement, I should

like to say a few words about the best manner to obtain servants,

repeating continually that if we require good ones we must take them

ourselves and train them ourselves. I am always met, when I state this

fact, by the unanswerable argument, ‘I have neither time nor patience to

teach my servants; I can pay good wages. I want to engage skilled

labour.’ Skilled labour may be had for money, there is no doubt, but the

person who engages her maids on these lines will never have good or

affectionate servants. She will be waited on, dressed, cooked for

admirably, no doubt, but she will obtain nothing beyond her mere

bargain. For better wages, a more aristocratic place, her cook will

leave her in the lurch, despite the fact that she may expect to be laid

up or to have most particular and important visitors at the very period

when the old maid departs and the new one comes in. Her nurse will

extract her pound of flesh in the shape of holidays and outings, whether

the baby is teething or not, or whether the children are all miserable

with colds, or she herself long to lie down with a bad headache. The

housemaid will go to her ‘church or chapel,’ to her promenade with her

ever-changing young man, whether she has unexpected guests or not; and

she will never know the extreme bliss and comfort of possessing friends

in the kitchen, who give up their own holidays because they are sure

their mistress is not fit to be left, who regard the children as if they

were as much theirs as they are the mistress’s, and who finally think of

her and hers, and her comfort, as she does herself. No mere hired help

will do all this. You must have maidens whom you have carefully trained;

you must take trouble--aye, and never-ending trouble--about them, unless

you wish to join the ranks of those who are always abusing their maids

and yet would not lift their fingers to assist themselves. And then,

again, you must undoubtedly train yourself at the same time not to

expect perfection.

Think of our own girls. Are they always to be trusted at tennis and at

balls to maintain that serene and demure deportment which of course we

always did, and which we naturally expect from our daughters, especially

where young men are concerned?

Do they never flirt? Are they never found missing at critical moments,

for example, when the carriage is at the door, and Paterfamilias is

divided between anxiety for his horses and wrath at being kept waiting?

Do foolish little notes never pass? Are flowers never given to the most

detrimental youths of one’s acquaintance? And finally, do our own

daughters always keep men at arm’s length? Are they always truthful,

always obliging, always careful about their own rooms and the things

which are committed to their charge?

I leave each mother to answer for her own daughters. I should not like

to answer for all the girls I know, and I seem to remember episodes in

my own past (was it mine, or did it belong to some one I once knew very

well indeed, I wonder?) which I should rather not confide to my

daughter, and indeed which I should not care to hold up to her as an

example of what all girls should do, and which often make me very kind

to the maids when I meet them promenading with the youth who calls for

orders or the man whom I scarcely recognise out of his livery; and it is

far better to know such things will happen, and to keep a kindly eye

over these affairs, than to scold vigorously and declare that whatever

happens no followers of any sort or kind shall enter your chaste abode.

Neither should they until the engagement is a _bonâ-fide_ one, and one

that you know is allowed and smiled upon by the girl’s parents. This you

should ascertain for yourself--another reason for taking your maids

young and from a family of whose antecedents you know something from

your own observation. And I never think much harm can happen from these

promenades if great stress is laid upon the fact that all must be at

home after dark, and that in winter no one must stay out after 8.30.

Then the house door should be locked and the key brought upstairs,

either in town or country; there is always the front door to come to,

and there is no reason why everyone should not come to that.

I am no advocate either of very hard and fast rules, and I maintain that

it is very difficult to make, and still more difficult to keep, set

regulations which circumstances may alter at any given moment. The only

thing that must be insisted on is punctuality; without punctuality no

household can go on, no establishment can be in the very least degree

managed or carried on. The servants become slovenly; and it is

impossible to get through the work, because no one knows when the meals

are to be, or when the beds can be made. Therefore, the first rule, and

indeed the only really important rule, is that which makes the meals

regular, and the attendance thereat compulsory on all members of the

family, children and temporary members, such as visitors, alike. After

that, and when we have demonstrated how the work is to be done, we

should stand aside and not interfere unless it is absolutely necessary;

then a few quiet words are enough. Whatever you do, do not ‘nag;’ a

servant that requires acrimonious scolding and continual ‘telling’ had

better go, and another should be had at once.

The best way to find a servant (if your ‘place’ has a good name) is to

inquire among the tradesmen. If a good servant is leaving her place, she

always tells the butcher and baker; she never goes to a registry office.

If she is leaving to better herself, her mistress can soon find her a

place among her own friends; there would be no need for her to go

elsewhere, and I do not think a really first-rate maid ever goes

anywhere except to her mistress or to the tradespeople, who are all

delighted to help her to find what she wants. An advertisement in the

‘Guardian’ or ‘Morning Post’ is another excellent means of obtaining a

recommended servant, and I hope some day to find that the clergyman’s

wife in each country parish will turn herself into an amateur registry

office for all the young girls under her husband’s charge. She should

teach them in the kitchen and nursery and train them in nice ways, and

be always possessed of some maiden she can send out into a better place.

Of course the Girls’ Friendly Society does something of the kind, but

the good that it does is largely discounted by the evil ways of many of

the ‘associates,’ who cannot help interfering egregiously and stupidly,

and so bringing what ought to be an absolutely perfect organisation into

contempt.

In London there is only one way of finding good servants, and that is by

advertising in either of the papers I have suggested, saying ‘Apply by

letter only,’ or else the advertiser will be inundated with a class of

persons who apply on the chance of picking up something in the hall, or

of getting their ‘expenses’ paid. No unknown person should ever be left

alone for a moment in the hall, and on no consideration should anyone

pay the ‘expenses,’ which often exist in the imagination only, and would

be amply recouped were twopence handed over to the applicant to cover

her omnibus fare; that even should be given with caution, for, absurd as

it may sound, there are people who exist on applying for situations,

which they accept and give excellent references to empty houses, and

promise to come in at once, to commence the duties required immediately.

The mistress, overjoyed at the idea of securing such a treasure, gladly

pays the fare to some country station, to be refunded, of course, out of

the first quarter’s salary, and goes off for the treasure’s character,

when she promptly discovers she has been done, and that if such a house

does exist at all it is either closed entirely or lived in by someone

who has never heard of the treasure, who naturally is also not to be

found at the home address, that was given so glibly and written down so

very carefully.

A written character should also never be taken. The most exquisite

handwriting, the best of all note-paper, duly embellished with a crest,

address, and monogram complete, are no safeguard, for servants have been

known to steal note-paper, and in these days of universal education a

good hand is not to be trusted in the least. Even if the family with

whom the servant lived has gone abroad--and this is the favourite reason

always given when a written character is produced--there must be some

relation or friend of the last employer still left in England who would

not object to speak for a maid, who if worth anything at all must be

known to someone outside the mere inner circle of the house itself; and

this should be insisted on, especially in London, where an unknown

servant is often the friend of the gentle burglar, and can do an immense

amount of mischief. Indeed, when I thoroughly sift the numerous

complaints which reach me about servants, I invariably find them caused

by the fact that the maid has either been procured by a registry office

or taken with only a written character in the most careless way, and

with not half the precautions we should take before we engaged ourselves

to call on a new comer to our especial district. We demand very strict

credentials from anyone we admit to our house as a mere acquaintance; we

let anyone into the house to live as a servant who can produce any scrap

of writing, or procure any registry-office keeper to speak for her

capabilities and character.

I am not speaking without due thought on the matter. Of course there are

absolutely trustworthy registry offices, and some written characters may

be genuine; but as a rule neither is to be trusted, and it is far better

to do one’s household work oneself than to engage someone of whom we

know no more than can be told us by an individual eager for the hiring

fee, or from a bit of paper probably written on by the applicant

herself.

I actually know a case where the mistress had to go into the

neighbouring town to search for a cook who had been missing for

twenty-four hours, and who found her locked up in the police court for

drunkenness and riotous behaviour, and who discharging her on the spot

was surprised to find the woman a few weeks after in a friend’s house.

The registry-office people had answered for her character; although the

first mistress had taken the trouble to place the report of the case in

the local papers in the registrar’s hands, and the cook was in

possession, needless to remark that she broke out again and is no doubt

carrying on her practices in another confiding mistress’s house at this

very moment.

A written character introduced a butler into a friend’s house, which he

promptly burned to the ground in a fit of blind drunkenness, while

another servant in another house was found in the act of carefully

concealing a burglarious parent in a convenient cupboard; and indeed I

do not think I am exaggerating when I say that every case of ‘bad

servant’ that is brought under my notice originates in either of these

two particulars, and that if due care, aye, and even what may appear as

_undue_ care, is taken about the manner in which a servant is engaged we

shall soon hear far fewer complaints than we do at present; while by

raising the tone of our maids and ensuring that only really

good-charactered servants will be employed, we shall get a better class

of girl to take to service, and we shall thin the ranks of unemployed

dressmakers, telegraph clerks, and shop-girls, and shall bring them back

to the sheltered, safe, untempted lives that are the portions of all

those who are in good places, under the care of conscientious and

thoughtful mistresses.

I think many writers--Mr. Besant, for example--have done great harm by

the manner in which domestic service has been run down; and when I am

called on to pity and weep over the case of the ‘sweated’ sempstress,

the underpaid, unsettled governess, the miserable shop-girl, who cannot

sit down and to whom all sorts of unpleasant internal miseries happen

because of her hard work, I absolutely refuse to do so. There are plenty

of good sheltered homes waiting for these girls, either here or in

Australia, where they can be fed and well looked after, where they have

every comfort, and where they are as absolutely safe as if they were in

a palace, indeed, much safer, as maids in palaces are left much to their

own devices and can get into as much mischief as they please, and there

is therefore no reason for their unhappiness save and except the absurd

one of wishing to be their own mistresses.

‘Freedom! I want my freedom. I would rather starve than be obliged to

brush my hair neatly, to give up my drowned ostrich feather, my screams

of unbridled laughter in the streets, the delicious joy of trailing up

and down a gas-lighted road, and, in fact, of being my own mistress.’

That is the argument put into the mouth of the factory girl, only, of

course, in not quite such plain language, and much applauded. Now, if

so, don’t ask me to weep over the girl who talks like this, because I

shall not do it. Freedom is about the worst thing in the world for a

young girl. She requires a guiding hand, as, indeed, in my opinion, all

women require one, all through their lives; and, after all, who is freer

and less trammelled than a good servant in a good place? She has no

anxieties, no troubles. Whatever happens, her wages are paid to the day,

and her food is unfailing. Indeed, when troubles are disporting

themselves in the drawing-room the maids seem to think ‘more food and

oftener’ an excellent panacea. And she can have her holidays and her

walks too whenever they can be managed; while for the large class of

girl who becomes, or rather wants to become, a nursery governess, are

there not endless other situations crying out for them, where as upper

nurses, ladies’ maids, or good cooks they could be sure of occupation

and of ending their days in comfort, having been able to save, which

they could never have done on the 15_l._ a year of the ordinary nursery

governess, who does all the mending and bathing, and, indeed, in some

cases, much more of it than falls to the share of an upper nurse, who

yet ranks below the governess, because she is a servant.

Now, I think that, if the young people who marry on about 300_l._ a

year, and can only afford one maid, would try this plan of engaging some

girl who cannot get a situation as nursery governess, and work together

with her, they would be far more comfortable than they otherwise would

be. All their things are new and pretty, the bedroom nice, the kitchen

fresh and comfortable. A young bride on a small income must help with

the cooking and bed-making. Surely this would be much more pleasantly

carried out if the maid were in some measure a friend. I can assure you

that old-fashioned servants I know have far better claims to be

considered of a good family than dozens of girls who pitchfork

themselves into the governess ranks, and consider themselves members of

the aristocracy from that date.

To sum up, then, our case: if we require a comfortable house we must

take our servants young and train them ourselves, or we must be very

sure that the servant is what she claims to be, and that the character

she is provided with is a good one; and, finally, we must endeavour to

refill the ranks of upper and better-class servants from the

overstocked ones of nursery governesses and unoccupied girls, whose

parents have not provided for them, and who are unable to do a single

thing by which they can in any measure help themselves.

There are stupid, careless, and even unkind mistresses in the world, but

as a rule servants are considered and very kindly dealt with, and there

can be no reason why a girl should refuse a sheltered home and work that

is not as hard as many other kinds of labour, and that should be amusing

and pleasant, in a small household, or even in a large one, where the

housekeeper is a lady and the upper servants are distinct and separate;

a nurse of course having her own rooms and being waited on far more than

is the governess, who after all in the eyes of the domestics is neither

one thing nor another, and has often enough to go without or see after

her own comforts.

But until that halcyon day arrives we must, as I remarked just now, be

very particular about the maid’s references, and we ought then, if

possible, to make the acquaintance of her mother, and also, if we can

manage it, of the clergyman who prepared her for confirmation. Of course

this means trouble. Yes, it does, but not half as much trouble as is

caused in the endless procession of new servants which passes through so

many houses, leaving behind it traces of its progress in the shape of

ruined brooms and brushes, burned-out saucepans, smashed crockery, and

bladeless knives, all of which must be replaced as one goes out and

another comes in, in a manner which almost ruins the unfortunate master

and enrages the mistress proportionally.

And now to turn to the question of how to make the kitchen a little

pleasanter than it is at present, especially in those houses where there

is no servants’ hall. The best of cooks only succeeds in making her room

look spotlessly clean and absolutely uninteresting; there is nothing

pretty about it, and there is, as a rule, nothing save the ordinary hard

Windsor chair on which to sit. This is quite right and what it should

be; but besides that there could be an easier chair for the tired

servant, who presumably can get quite as fatigued as we can, and for

whom we could provide a low-backed chair with cushions (easily taken out

and washed) once we have come to the conclusion that she is

[Illustration: FIG. 17.--An Ideal Kitchen.]

likely to stay with us and that she is to be trusted not to make hay

with it.

Our artist has made a sketch of ‘an ideal kitchen’ from Mr. Faulkner

Armitage’s designs, which I hope will some day be the kitchen of the

future. Here the dresser and mantel-piece arrangement provide for all

the necessary pots and pans, while the furniture is as simple as it is

pretty, and in consequence has an artistic effect which is really

charming.

This furniture is stained malachite green or russet brown, whichever is

preferred; with the green furniture, the tiled paper on the wall, which

is much nicer to live with than mere colour-wash and is quite as clean,

as it can be wiped over with a damp duster quite easily, should be red

and white, and the paint a dark shade of red; with the brown, the paper

should be blue and white, and the paint a good blue, and all along the

wall on the floor should be a two-inch band of wood; this keeps the

chairs away from the wall; but if the base of the wall becomes shabby a

dado of oilcloth can always be added with a real dado rail; this keeps a

wall tidy for years, and can always be washed, and finally painted over

should the pattern crack or become in any measure worn and untidy. The

ordinary boarded kitchen should be covered entirely with a good,

well-seasoned linoleum, and a square of carpet lined with a thin

American cloth should be given to the cook to place down on Sundays, or

after the worst of the work is over; this gives a finished and furnished

look to the room, and adds a great deal to the comfort of the maids. A

stone floor should be painted with Hoskyn’s Ben Trovato red, and some

rugs laid down at all times, as this is very bad to stand upon. I had

linoleum laid all over the only stone floor I ever possessed, and that

answered excellently; it was put down so that it adhered to the stone in

some manner, and lasted a very great many years in excellent condition;

but should anyone object to this I can also recommend a square of

Treloar’s cocoa-nut matting, bound all round with a wide binding; but

this should be rolled back for cooking, as grease adheres to it

dreadfully and soon makes it shabby.

The kitchen windows are always rather a trouble to arrange, as generally

they are basement windows, and muslin so soon gets out of order with the

steam and general mess; but if the cook takes pride in her windows and

likes to wash her curtains herself there is no reason why she should not

have the same kind of white curtains that there are in the bedrooms; but

let all come from the top of the window, half-blinds being dreadful, and

looking worse, in my opinion, than no blinds at all. In windows on a

level with the garden or street one must have obscured glass, either

cathedral or ribbed glass. This, of course, is rather hard on the maids,

who are not thus able to look out, but it cannot be helped: it is

impossible for the kitchen to be so much in evidence as it otherwise

would be, and no muslin is as effective a screen as the obscured glass

is.

There should always be inside bars and shutters to any basement or

ground-floor windows, and nothing should be kept downstairs which can

possibly or in any way tempt the prowling burglar. All silver should be

taken upstairs to the master’s room, and there should be a small dog

loose downstairs; a dog frightens a thief dreadfully, as he is quite as

much afraid of his bark as ever he is of his bite.

The basement in a London house is often a dreadful possession, as there

are so many places where a thief could conceal himself in the daytime.

No doors, then, should ever be left unbolted; and the master should,

furthermore, make a practice of going round the very last thing at night

to see that all is safe, or else there can be no security at all.

Sometimes the servants may descend again and hold unholy revels;

sometimes an open or unguarded door leaves access to the place; and an

unexpected visit from a tramp may alarm us as much as would a

professional visit from a burglar. We cannot impress this on our

servants too often, and we impress it on them a thousand times more

forcibly than we otherwise should when they see our nightly patrol, and

know we have supplemented their bolts with a visit of inspection. Then

the door at the top of the stairs should be bolted, barred, and locked,

and the key removed. This should be given into the care of the butler if

there be one, or into the safe keeping of the cook; and we may retire to

rest feeling safe that even if the tramp comes, or the thief is in

hiding below, he will remain in the lower regions, and can do nothing

worse than have a feast in the larder or break a few panes of glass in

his efforts to escape.

It will seem to my readers that one has to take endless trouble, to see

perpetually about endless trifles, as long as we are householders, and

have the management of a family on our hands. Yet once started on good

lines, and matters are not so difficult as they appear; still, of

course, no life of great responsibility--indeed, no life at all--can

ever be entirely happy and entirely easy. Those who have least to do

become bored and tired by mere inactivity; those who have most, wearing

out instead of rusting out.

All comes to an end some day; there is no doubt about that. Strive as we

may, death waits for us all, and our carefully trained household falls

apart and drifts away; our furniture wears out, our carefully amassed

hoards are turned over and parted among our successors; some one else

takes our house, and obliterates with his personality the last traces of

ours; and if we have refused to do our work, or let things slide, we

shall speedily be forgotten; but if we have honestly done our work, what

of it? Our maids carry on our good lessons elsewhere; our hoards make

someone else happy, and the example we have set bears fruit a

hundredfold, and someone is always happier, some household better for

the work we have done. No matter, then, if we have fallen out of the

ranks, tired out; we have done our work, and so can retire gracefully,

being quite sure that none of our trouble is wasted, and that not one of

us has toiled in vain.

And I maintain that we cannot ever take too much trouble about our

homes, that we cannot have them too pretty or too well managed, and

that, moreover, once they are started, they are easy to keep going,

always supposing that we have regular ways and rules, that we do not

muddle, and that we pass over nothing that requires attention, let it be

a braid off a chair, or the misdemeanour or disobedience of a servant or

child; the one should be mended, the other spoken to at once, then

things will go on like clockwork, and we shall be fairly astonished to

find how well things progress and how admirably they manage themselves.

Start well, start carefully, and then all one has to do is to steer

straight; after all, steering is not very hard work, and that is all one

has to do once the ship is fairly loaded and under way.

Nooks and Corners being the companion volume to 'From Kitchen to Garret' · 第 10 / 12 章