HOURS._The Book of Good Manners; a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--HOURS.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS--HOURS.

CALLS. See CALLS--HOURS.

DINNERS. See DINNERS--HOURS.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES--HOURS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS--HOURS.

MUSICALES. See MUSICALES--HOURS.

RECEPTIONS. See RECEPTIONS--HOURS.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS--HOURS.

HOUSE FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--HOUSE.

HOUSE PARTIES. These usually refer to a group of congenial

persons, numbering from four to

twenty-four, and visiting country homes,

making a stay of a few days or a few weeks.

DRESS. The length of the visit and the nature

of the house party determines the extent of

wardrobe necessary. A guest should carry

at least three changes of suits--one for the

morning, one suitable for afternoon entertainments,

picnics, etc., and the regulation

evening dress.

GUEST. To be a welcome guest the visitor

should accommodate himself as much as possible

to the plans of his hostess and the ways

of the home life.

A visitor should avoid the common mistake

of refusing to make a choice when a

choice is offered.

A guest should try to be congenial with

the other guests, kind to the servants, and

to be considerate of all others.

EXPENSES. The hostess should furnish transportation

for both guests and baggage to and

from the station.

Each guest should pay for all expenses incurred

by him, and be especially careful, in

the case of sickness or misfortune, that some

items are not overlooked.

LETTER AFTER DEPARTURE. If the visit has

been more than two days, the guest should

write a short letter to the hostess, telling

of the pleasure the visit gave them and their

safe journey home.

A guest so desiring might send some trifle

as a gift to the hostess.

TIPPING SERVANTS. Unless a hostess positively

requests her guests not to tip, a guest,

when leaving at the end of a visit at a private

house, should remember the servants.

The average American, from lack of a definite

standard, too often errs on the side of

giving too much.

Those giving personal service should be

remembered, as well as those who render service--

as, the coachman and outside servants.

HOSTESS. While careful to provide entertainment

for her guests, a hostess should be careful

not to overentertain, and to allow each guest

ample time in which to enjoy themselves

any way they please. If an entertainment

is planned for the afternoon, it is well to

leave the mornings open, and VICE VERSA.

The success of the hostess depends on her

making the guests feel free from care and

ENNUI.

CARING FOR THE SICK. In addition to the regular

care of the guest's room and attention to

his comfort and pleasure, a hostess should

double her energies in case her guest is sick.

She is not called upon to pay for the expenses

of telegrams, doctor's bills, medicines,

etc., contracted by the guest. If a

guest departed without attending to these

matters, the hostess would have to pay for

them.

GIVING FAREWELL, To VISITORS. A hostess

should, in bidding farewell to her visitors,

see that she does not overdo it.

While it is not strictly necessary that a

hostess should accompany a guest to the depot,

yet many still follow this rule, especially in

the case of an unmarried woman, and are

careful to see to all the details of checking

baggage, etc.

In the case of a bachelor, such attention

is not necessary.

A hostess conveys at her own expense both

the guest and baggage to and from the

station.

GREETING VISITORS. When an hour of arrival

is specified in an invitation, the guest

should be met at the station, especially an

unmarried woman, by the hostess or host.

In case of married couples or bachelors, a

man servant may meet them.

In all cases the hostess should arrange for

the conveyance of both the guests and their

luggage.

A hostess accompanies a woman to the

guest chamber, but sends a man servant

with a bachelor to the latter's room.

INVITATIONS. These should state definitely

when a visit is to begin and to end. It is

also a good plan to allude in the invitation

to any special amusement or entertainment.

These invitations should be answered

promptly.

MEN--DRESS. A man should carry with him

one business suit, evening clothes, and one

outing suit suitable for afternoon entertainments

--as, picnics, tennis, etc. This is almost

indispensable, and more depends upon the

nature of the entertainments and the length

of the visit.

WOMEN--DRESS. A woman should take at least

three changes of dress--one to travel in and

wear in the morning, one for evening wear,

and a third for afternoon picnics, outings,

etc. The length of her visit and the nature of

the entertainments and her individual taste

determines how much she may increase this.

HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, MEMBER OF. An official

letter begins: SIR, and ends: I HAVE, SIR, THE

HONOR TO REMAIN YOUR MOST OBEDIENT SERVANT.

A social letter begins: MY DEAR MR. WILSON

and ends: I HAVE THE HONOR TO REMAIN MOST

SINCERELY YOURS.

The address on the envelope is: HON. JOHN

F. WILSON.

HUSBAND AND WIFE--CARDS, VISITING. See CARDS,

VISITING-HUSBAND AND WIFE.

IN MEMORIAM CARDS. Printed or engraved notes, or

special cards, can be used, and should be

heavily bordered. Custom allows much diversity

as to the contents of the card. Place

and date of birth, residence, date of death,

and any other information of interest to

friends and relatives may be given.

INFANT'S CARDS. The full name of the child should

be engraved, with date of birth in lower

left-hand corner, enclosed in envelope with

mother's card, and sent by mail. Such cards

are generally held together with white ribbon.

INFORMAL AFTERNOON TEAS. These are the usual afternoon

teas. By formal afternoon teas are

meant those for which specially engraved

cards have been issued, and at which all the

arrangements are more elaborate.

See AFTERNOON TEAS.

INTERIOR, SECRETARY OF--HOW ADDRESSED. An official

letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the

honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,

and ends: I have the honor to remain most

sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John

J. Wilson, Secretary Of The Interior.

INTRODUCTIONS. One should be careful in making introductions.

It is easier to evade than to cause

disagreeable complications. It is unpardonable

to introduce one party to another after

having been warned not to do so.

Forgetting a person's name when about to

introduce is awkward, and when it does

occur, one should apologize and ask name.

If a person fails to hear the name, it is proper

to inform the one to whom you are introduced

and to say: "Pardon me, but I failed to

hear your name." In making introductions

one should distinctly pronounce the names.

Parents should not speak of or introduce

their children as MISS ANNA, but simply

MY DAUGHTER ANNA. Only before servants

should they be spoken of as MISS ANNA.

Persons of celebrity should have introductions

made to them. Men should always be

introduced to women, the younger to an

elder person, and unmarried persons to the

married. Persons at an entertainment are

introduced to the guest of the occasion.

Women and men on being introduced may

shake hands, but it is not good form. A

polite bow, a smile, and friendly recognition

is more correct.

Those invited to an entertainment are on

equal footing; it is therefore not necessary

to introduce one to another. Conversation

may be held without this formality, though

introductions may take place if desired.

When an introduction occurs, future recognition

is not warranted. For this reason

great care should be exercised at entertainments

that only those who are congenial to

each other should be brought together.

At small gatherings it is more kindly to

introduce. When many are present, it is not

customary to do so.

Introductions should not take place in a

church or on the steps.

It is quite proper to introduce one group

to another without formality at any outdoor

function--athletic games, etc. Such introductions

need not imply further acquaintance

if undesirable.

DANCING. The man must be introduced to the

woman, and he should ask her for the privilege

of a dance.

ENTERTAINMENTS. Introductions are not absolutely

required at musicales, teas, "At

Homes," etc. One may converse with those

nearest, but this does not warrant future

recognition.

MEN. Men are introduced to women and single

men to married men.

When introduced to a woman, a man

should bow but not shake hands, and make

some pleasant observations, and express

pleasure at the introduction.

When introduced to another man, the

man should shake hands.

Business introductions are immediate and

personal, and are intended to bring men

together without much formality. No formality

is required in introducing one man to

another on casual meeting.

It is well to avoid exaggerated expressions,

as: "Delighted to meet you," or

"Glad to know you." A simple "How do

you do" is better.

A man introducing another to a woman

should first ask her permission to do so.

This gained, he introduces him with the

remark: "Mr. Smith desires to be introduced

to Miss Wilson."

A woman's permission should first be obtained

by the party introducing. Very often

off-hand introductions take place; but it is

better to be more formal and careful, as indicated.

If she evades or declines, a man

should accept it without any show of feeling,

and make it as easy for her as possible.

After an introduction at an entertainment,

when a man meets the woman on the street,

she should bow first if she desires to continue

the acquaintance.

CHAPERONE. A man should never be introduced

direct by card or letter to a young unmarried

woman. If he desires to be introduced, the

letter or card of introduction should be addressed

to her chaperone or mother, who may

then introduce him to the young woman if

she deems it advisable.

At an entertainment a chaperone may ask

a young man if he wishes to be introduced

to the one under her care.

FORMULA. A good formula for men is: "Mr.

Brown, may I present Mr. Clark?"

A man presenting a man friend to a woman

should say: "Mr. Williams desires to be

presented to Miss Wilson. Miss Wilson,

allow me to introduce Mr. Williams. This is

Mr. Williams, Miss Wilson."

The formality is sometimes waved, and the

forms, "This is Mr. So and So, Miss Jones,"

"Mrs. Smith, Miss Jones," or "Allow me to

present ----," are used when casual meetings

occur.

PARTY INTRODUCED. After receiving call of

party to whom you have been introduced,

the visit should be returned. If AT HOME

card was left, the call should be made only

on the days specified; if an ordinary card,

call at any time within three to ten days.

If the party introduced leaves town, he

should send his card to his late host before

leaving; upon his return, he should leave

his card again.

PARTY INTRODUCING BY CARD--WOMEN. A

note of explanation may be sent by party who

brings about the introduction to the party to

whom the introduction is made, giving such

explanations as may be deemed advisable.

Two cards should be used--a person's own

card and the card of the party being introduced,

enclosed in envelope, and sent by

mail or messenger. On the left corner over

name of party introduced should be written:

INTRODUCING MR. WILSON

PARTY INTRODUCING BY LETTER--WOMEN.

Care should be exercised that the introduction

is agreeable to all concerned.

RECEPTIONS. The man should express desire

for an introduction.

WOMEN. Women calling and meeting others may

be introduced to each other by the hostess.

Upon such an occasion, when a meeting happens

between women, conversation may take

place between them without an introduction.

It does not imply further acquaintance if not

desired.

Extreme etiquette demands that no two

women of the same locality be introduced to

each other without the consent of both parties.

The object of this is that, although the parties

may be agreeable to the hostess, they may

be objectionable to each other.

Women upon being introduced to each

other may shake hands, but a slight inclination

of the body, a smile, and an appropriate

remark are more correct.

When entering a room where others are

assembled, introducing a guest to more than

one person at a time is unadvisable.

Men are introduced to women, single

women to married women, and a young

woman to an older one.

No woman should allow a man to be introduced

to her unless her permission has been

first obtained. The exception would be in the

case of a very elderly man, or a celebrity,

when the honor would be conferred upon her.

A married woman to whom a man is presented

receives him with some pleasant remark.

An unmarried one receives him with

a pleasant smile and repeats his name.

Personal introduction is done by a third

party introducing two persons to each other,

provided it is agreeable to all concerned. Introductions

should be made with extreme

care and caution, and not at all unless one is

well acquainted with both parties.

Outdoor Introductions--as, when meeting

others, or at outdoor sports--need not be

formal, but can be done haphazard. This

does not imply further acquaintance if not

desired.

FORMULA. A woman should introduce her husband

to acquaintances as "My husband,"

and not "Mr."; to intimate friends as

"Henry."

HOSTESS. Introductions to the hostess at an

"At Home," or reception by women assisting

hostess, of those who have been invited to

the entertainment by them, are not recognized

thereafter unless by mutual consent.

The hostess receiving in her own home

should offer her hand to all to whom she is

introduced.

The hostess introduces her immediate family

to all her guests. No formal permission

is necessary.

In the case of one woman desiring an introduction

to another, the hostess should be

asked to bring this about.

INTRODUCTION, LETTERS OF. The introduction of one

person to another by letter is as follows: The

party introducing writes the name of the party

he introduces upon his own card, and above

his name the words: Introducing Mr. Wilson

(his friend's name). It is then placed in an

envelope and addressed to the person to whom

the introduction is to be made. On the

lower left-hand corner of the envelope, Introducing

Mr. Wilson, is written, and given to

the bearer unsealed.

The party to whom a letter of introduction

is given should send it by mail to the party

they desire to be introduced to, enclosing

their own card with address, and then await

invitation to call.

This is preferable to calling in person, as

it may not be agreeable or desirable for the

party to open and begin such an acquaintance.

In business introduction, such formality

may be set aside.

If a letter of introduction is personally delivered,

the party presenting it should also

enclose card.

If the party called upon is not at home,

the letter or card should not be left, but sent

by mail or messenger.

The one giving another a letter of introduction

may write to the friend explaining

why it is done, who and what the party is.

If a man sends a letter of introduction to

a woman, she should acknowledge it, and, if

she wishes, invite him to call.

PARTY RECEIVING--WOMEN. The party receiving

cards of introduction should call in person

upon woman introduced; if unable to do

so, a letter should be sent, stating reasons of

inability to be present. A member of the

family may make the call instead. It should

be done within three days.

If not agreeable to receive party for any

reason, a card may be sent or left. No personal

visit need be made.

INVALID'S CALLS. A woman unable to call from sickness

may have her calls made for her by her

sister, or daughter, or some female relative.

INVITATIONS. Care should be exercised in inviting

new acquaintances to breakfast, luncheon, or

dinner, unless there are some particular

reasons why they will be especially agreeable

to those invited.

All invitations should be sent by mail.

Verbal invitations should be avoided as

much as possible, and if a verbal one is given,

it should be followed immediately by one in

writing.

ACCEPTING OR DECLINING. Invitations to all

entertainments, when answers are expected,

should be acknowledged by a written letter

of acceptance or regret. The answer should

be sent to the person or committee issuing the

invitation.

Invitations to dinners, musicales, weddings,

and breakfasts should be answered at

once, and those to balls, dances, and receptions

within one week.

Invitations to ordinary "At Homes," teas,

or weddings, which do not include invitations

to the wedding breakfast or reception,

need no acknowledgment.

The invitations sent to a family--as,

mother, or daughter, or several daughters--

may be answered by one person for all. But

invitations sent to the men of the family

should be answered by each man.

When it is found necessary to decline after

accepting an invitation, a card should be sent

the evening of the entertainment with an explanatory

letter the day following.

BALLS. Invitations to balls or assemblies should

be answered immediately, and if declined the

ticket should be returned.

DANCING. While a woman may accept or decline

any invitation to dance, it is considered a

discourteous act to refuse one man and to accept

thereafter from another an invitation to

the same dance.

WEDDINGS. Such invitations should be answered

at once, except when the invitation does not

include an invitation to the wedding reception

or breakfast, in which case no answer is

needed.

ADDRESSING. When invitations are sent to a

husband and wife and daughter, only one envelope

is needed, the daughter's name appearing

under her parents. Separate envelopes

should be addressed to two daughters--as,

Misses Wilson.

Separate envelopes should be addressed to

each son.

MEN. If an invitation is sent to a man, he should

answer it himself; but if sent to a man and

wife, the latter may answer for both.

TO CALL WITH CHAPERONE'S PERMISSION. If

permission is asked, and if agreeable, a chaperone

should invite a man to call upon her and

her protege.

Every effort should be made to call at the

specified time.

TO CALL ON WOMEN. If a woman invites a man

to call without specifying the time, it is

equivalent to no invitation at all.

TO CALL ON WOMEN THROUGH LETTERS OF

INTRODUCTION. If a man having a letter

of introduction sends the same by mail to a

woman, it should be acknowledged by a written

invitation to call. If the person receiving

the letter does not care to receive the party, a

card is sent which ends the matter.

R. S. V. P. The use of these letters--standing

for "Repondez, s'il vous plait" (Answer, if you

please)--is decreasing. All invitations bearing

these letters should be answered at once.

These may be used on invitations to ceremonious

receptions, breakfasts, luncheons,

dinners, and to meet a prominent person.

WIFE. When a husband and wife are invited to

a dinner, and the former does not accept,

the wife should also decline and give her

reasons. The hostess can then invite the

wife only, who may accept.

WOMEN. A young woman receiving an invitation

to a man's supper, tea, or dinner, may

accept, if she has the consent of her mother

or chaperone, and is assured that a chaperone

will be present.

WOMEN--THEATRE. Women receiving an invitation

from a man for the theatre should have

the consent of mother or chaperone, and when

they accept, may, with propriety, request

their escort not to provide a carriage unless

full dress on their part is requested.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--INVITATIONS.

AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL)--INVITATIONS.

AT HOMES.

See AT HOMES--INVITATIONS.

BACHELORS' DINNERS.

See BACHELORS' DINNERS--INVITATIONS.

BACHELORS' TEAS.

See BACHELORS' TEAS--INVITATIONS.

BALLS.

See BALLS--INVITATIONS.

BREAKFASTS.

See BREAKFASTS--INVITATIONS.

BRIDE.

See BRIDE--INVITATIONS.

CHRISTENINGS.

See CHRISTENINGS--INVITATIONS.

COTILLIONS.

See COTILLIONS--INVITATIONS.

See COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS--INVITATIONS.

MUSICALES.

See MUSICALES--INVITATIONS.

PALL-BEARERS.

See PALL-BEARERS--INVITATIONS.

PARTIES.

See PARTIES--INVITATIONS.

TELEPHONE.

See TELEPHONE INVITATIONS.

THEATRE.

See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES

GIVEN BY MEN--INVITATIONS.

VERBAL.

See VERBAL INVITATIONS.

IVORY WEDDING. This is the thirtieth wedding anniversary,

and is not usually celebrated. If,

however, it is done, the invitations may bear

the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and in accepting

or declining the invitation congratulations

may be extended. Any article of ivory is appropriate

as a gift. An entertainment is usually

provided.

JEWELRY--MEN. Jewelry, except the very plainest,

should not be worn, and in general the less

the better. A display of diamonds and fancy

jewelry betrays the poor taste of the wearer.

A man wearing the pins and badges of

secret societies should see that they are small

and unobtrusive, for in jewelry, as in all

matters of dress, quality rather than quantity

is to be desired.

JR. When the son is named after the father, he

adds Jr. to his name. Upon the death of the

father he omits it. This abbreviation is

sometimes added to a woman's name on her

card when her husband has the same name as

his father, and it is necessary to distinguish

between the cards of the daughter-in-law

and the mother-in-law.

If the mother-in-law should become a

widow and wish to retain the husband's

baptismal name, she should add Sr., while

her daughter would erase Jr.

If both become widows, and wish to

retain their husband's Christian names, the

daughter-in-law should add Jr.

JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT--HOW

ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir,

and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain

your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Justice Wilson,

and ends: Believe me, most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Mr. Justice

John J. Wilson.

KING OF ENGLAND--HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter

begins: Sir, may it please your Majesty, and

ends: I have the honor to remain your Majesty's

most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Sir, and ends:

I have the honor to remain your Majesty's

most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To His

Most Gracious Majesty, King Edward.

KISS, WEDDING. The kiss in the wedding ceremony

is being done away with, especially at church

weddings. Only the bride's parents and her

most intimate friends should kiss her, and

for others to do so is no longer good form.

KNIFE AND FORK. The knife is always held in the

right hand, and is only used for cutting the

food. The fork is used not only in eating

fish, meat, vegetables, and made dishes, but

also ices, frozen puddings, melons, salads,

oysters, clams, lobsters, and terrapin.

The knife should never be used to carry

food to the mouth.