MEN, When leaving a woman at the door of
her house, he bows and retires as the door
is opened.
When seeing a woman to her carriage, he
should raise his hat on closing the door.
On a railroad a man removes his hat in a
parlor-car, but not in a day coach.
In street-cars a man should raise his hat
when giving his seat to a woman; also when
rendering a service to a woman in public, in
answering a question, or in apologizing to a
woman.
In elevators, when women are present,
the hat should be removed.
In hotel halls or corridors a man passing
a woman should raise his hat.
Men do not raise their hats to one another,
save out of deference to an elderly person, a
person of note, or a clergyman.
In driving, if impossible to raise the hat,
he should touch it with his whip.
The hat is gracefully lifted from the head,
brought to the level of the chest, and the
body inclined forward, and then replaced in
passing.
It is the woman's privilege to bow first if
it is a mere acquaintance. If, however, a
woman bows, and the man fails to recognize
her, he should bow in return.
A man may bow first to a very intimate
friend.
Meeting a woman to whom he has been
introduced at an entertainment, he should
wait until she bows first.
After bowing to a woman, the man may
join her, and with her permission may walk
a short distance with her.
He should not stand in the street and converse
with her any length of time. She may
excuse herself and pass on. He should not
feel affronted.
If he meets a woman he does not know
accompanied by a man he does know, both
men bow.
The man accompanying her should bow
to every man or woman to whom she bows.
WOMEN. A woman's bow should be dignified--
a faint smile and a gentle inclination of the
head.
Women bow first to men when meeting in
the street. A man may bow first if the
acquaintance is intimate.
When walking with a man, and they meet
another unknown to her, but known to her
escort, both men bow. If she meets a friend,
man or woman, unknown to her escort, he
bows.
Unless an introduction has taken place at
any function, no recognition is customary.
It is the woman's privilege, however, to decide
for herself whether she will recognize
the guest or not.
A man bowing and joining a woman on
the street must ask permission to do so.
She is at perfect liberty to gracefully decline.
If a man stops to talk on the street, she
may excuse herself and pass on. If she
continues the conversation and he stands
with his hat in his hand, she may request
him to replace it. Such conversations should
be brief.
BREAD should be broken into small pieces, buttered,
and transferred with the fingers to the mouth.
The bread should be placed on the small
plate provided for the purpose.
BREAKFASTS. Breakfasts are generally given from
ten to twelve in the morning. Very formal
breakfasts are held at twelve o'clock.
CALLS. A call need not be made after a simple
breakfast, but obligatory after a formal one.
DRESS. Street costumes are worn by men and
women.
GUESTS. Guests leave half an hour after the
breakfast.
HOURS. The hour is from 12 to 12.30.
INVITATIONS. Cards are engraved and sent a
week in advance for formal breakfasts, but
for informal breakfasts they may be written.
If given in honor of a special guest, the
name is engraved on the card--as, TO MEET
MR. WILSON.
MEN. Men are usually invited, and they are
often given for men. Men wear street costume.
Guests should leave half an hour after
breakfast. A call is not necessary after a
simple breakfast, but obligatory after a formal
one.
MEN LEAVING CARDS. After a breakfast a man
should leave a card for host and hostess,
whether the invitation was accepted or not.
Or it may be sent by mail or messenger, with
an apology for so doing.
WOMEN. Women wear street costume, including
gloves, the latter being taken off at table.
Women remove their coats and wraps, but
not bonnets.
Guests should leave half an hour after
breakfast. A call is not necessary after a
simple breakfast, but obligatory after a formal
one.
WEDDING. See WEDDING RECEPTIONS OR BREAKFASTS.
BREAKING DINNER ENGAGEMENTS. When it is absolutely
necessary to break an engagement made for
a dinner, a letter should be sent as soon as
possible to the hostess, either by special delivery
or messenger, giving the reason and
expressing regrets.
BRIDE. The bride selects the church and the clergyman,
and can, if she wishes, ask the latter
personally or by note to perform the ceremony.
She selects the music for the ceremony
and the organist, names the wedding
day, and selects the ushers and the bridesmaids.
Of the bridesmaids, she may select
one, some near friend, as the maid of honor,
to act for her, as the best man does for the
groom.
She further designates one of the ushers to
be master of ceremonies, and should instruct
him minutely as to the details she desires
carried out-how the wedding party shall enter
the church, proceed up the aisle, etc.
A few days before the wedding she gives a
dinner to the bridesmaids and maid of honor,
who take this opportunity to examine the
trousseau. The ushers, best man, and groom
may come after the dinner to attend the wedding
rehearsal. These rehearsals should be
gone through carefully, and if they can be
held at the church so much the better. Each
person should be instructed by note as to their
duties, as this prevents confusion.
CHURCH. On the wedding-day, after receiving
the bridesmaids and maid of honor at her
house, she goes to the church with her father
(or nearest male relative), and leans upon his
arm as they proceed up the aisle, following
the bridesmaids, and carrying her bridal bouquet
(or, if she wishes, a prayer-book).
Arriving at the chancel, she leaves her
father and steps forward to take the left arm
of the groom, who advances from the chancel
to meet her. They stand before the clergyman,
and, if they wish, may kneel, and upon
rising stand about a foot apart.
At the words of the ceremony, "Who giveth
this woman away?" or, "To be married to this
man?" her father advances and places her
right hand in that of the clergyman, who
places it in the groom's right hand. After
this her father retires to his seat in the pew
with his family.
When the plighting of the troth comes, the
groom receives the ring from the best man
and hands it to the bride, who gives it to the
clergyman. He returns it to the groom, who
then places it on the third finger of the bride's
left hand. When plighting the troth, the
bride gives her glove and bouquet to the maid
of honor, or, what is better, the finger of the
glove may be cut to allow the ring to be placed
on without the glove being removed.
The kiss at the altar is no longer in good
form.
At the end of the ceremony, after the clergyman
has congratulated the married couple,
the bride takes her husband's right arm and
they lead the procession to the vestibule, where
they receive the congratulations of near
friends. Here the maid of honor and bridesmaids
cloak and prepare the bride for the trip
home in the groom's carriage.
DRESS. The bride is veiled, and is dressed in
white-full dress, day or evening. Gloves
need not be worn in the church. The bridesmaids
provide their own outfit, unless the
bride asks them to dress in a style of her own
selecting. In this case, she supplies them
gowns, hats, gloves, and shoes, as she may
wish.
FAREWELL LUNCHEON. While a farewell luncheon
given to the bridesmaids by the bride
is not necessary, yet it is a pleasant way for a
woman to entertain her female friends the
last time in her father's house.
On this occasion it is a good plan for the
bride to give to the maid of honor and brides-maids
her souvenirs, which, of course, should
be alike, and of use at the wedding ceremony.
GIFTS. The bride may give to the groom a ring
as an engagement ring if she wishes. She
should make suitable gifts to the bridesmaids
as souvenirs of the occasion, and may also
present them with flowers. If she presents
boutonnieres to the best man and the ushers,
they should appear at her house before the
ceremony and have her place them in the
lapel of their coats.
She should acknowledge immediately the
receipt of all wedding gifts.
GLOVES. The bride need not wear gloves in the
church.
INVITATIONS. At a church wedding the bride
usually provides the bridesmaids with extra
invitations for their personal use.
KISS. Only the parents of the bride and her
most intimate relatives should kiss the bride.
It is now no longer good form for all to do so.
SEEING GROOM ON WEDDING-DAY. It is not
customary for the bride to see the groom on
the wedding-day till she meets him at the
altar.
WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride and groom
occupy the centre one of the small tables.
At all wedding breakfasts it is customary
for the guests to assemble in the drawing-room,
and then to enter the breakfast-room
together--the bride and groom leading the
way.
It is not usual to have the bridal cake at
a wedding breakfast, but if such is the case,
the bride makes the first cut, and the slices
are given first to those at the bridal table.
WEDDING RECEPTION. She should stand by her
husband's side to receive the best wishes of all
present. The guests are not announced, but
are introduced by the ushers to the bride if
not known to her.
The bride should not leave her place to
mingle with the guests until all have been
introduced to her.
BRIDE'S FAMILY. See FAMILY OF BRIDE.
BRIDE'S FATHER. See FATHER OF BRIDE.
BRIDE'S MOTHER. See MOTHER OF BRIDE.
BRIDEGROOM. See GROOM.
BRIDESMAIDS. The bridesmaids are selected by the
bride, and number six, eight, or twelve--
mostly eight. She usually gives them a
dinner a few days before the wedding, at
which she shows them the trousseau and discusses
the details of the wedding.
The ushers and the groom are invited to
come after the dinner, and then the rehearsal
takes place. The bridesmaids should be
present at this and all other rehearsals, and
if unable to be present at the wedding should
give the bride ample notice, that a substitute
may be secured.
CALLS. They call upon the mother of the bride
within a week or ten days after the ceremony,
and upon the bride, in her own home, after
her return from her wedding trip.
CARRIAGES. A carriage provided by the family
of the bride calls for the bridesmaid on the
wedding-day, and takes her to the bride's
house. Her carriage follows the bride's to the
church, and, after the ceremony, takes her to
the wedding breakfast or reception.
CHURCH. They meet at the house of the bride,
and there take their carriages to the church.
While their carriages follow that of the bride,
they alight first and receive her in the vestibule.
They may carry bouquets supplied by
the bride's family or the groom.
In the procession up the aisle they follow
the ushers, walking two by two, and as the
ushers approach the altar they divide--one-half
to the right and one-half to the left. The
bridesmaids do likewise, leaving space for
the bridal party to pass.
In the procession down the aisle they follow
the best man and maid of honor to the
vestibule, where, after giving their best wishes
to the bride, and congratulations to the
groom, they return to the bride's home to
assist in entertaining the guests at the reception
or breakfast.
DANCING. At the wedding breakfast or reception
dancing is sometimes indulged in.
DINNER TO MARRIED COUPLE. The bridesmaids
usually give a dinner to the married couple
on the latter's return from their wedding trip.
DRESS. They usually follow the wishes of the
bride in the matter of dress. Should she
desire any particular style of dress, entailing
considerable expense, on account of novelty
or oddity, she usually presents them the outfit,
which it is permissible for them to accept.
If the bride has no particular wish, they
decide the matter among themselves, always
bearing in mind that their style of dress and
material must be subordinated to that of the
bride, and that there could be no greater exhibition
of lack of refinement and good taste
than for any bridesmaid to make herself in
any way more attractive than the bride.
GIFTS. It is customary for them to send a wedding
gift to the bride.
They usually receive a pretty souvenir
from the bride and a bouquet from the
groom.
INVITATIONS. At a large church wedding several
invitations are usually given to the
bridesmaids for their own personal use.
REHEARSALS. They should be present at all
rehearsals.
WEDDING BREAKFASTS. They pair off with the
ushers, and are usually seated at a table by
themselves.
WEDDING RECEPTIONS. They stand beside the
married couple, and are introduced to the
guests.
BROTHER AT DEBUT. A brother, when his sister's
debut takes the form of a supper or dinner,
should take his sister (the debutante) into
dinner or supper.
BUTLER--TIPS. It is customary for a man leaving a
house-party where he has been a guest to
tip the butler who acted as a valet.
CABINET ( U. S,), MEMBER OF--HOW ADDRESSED. An
official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have,
sir, the honor to remain your most obedient
servant.
A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson,
and ends: I have the honor to remain
most sincerely yours.
The address on the envelope is: Hon. John
J. Wilson, Secretary of State.
CAKE. is broken into pieces, the size of a mouthful,
and then eaten with fingers or fork.
CALLS. Unless close intimacy exists, calls should
only be made on the specified days.
ASKING MEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. A debutante
should leave this matter to her mother
or chaperone.
A young woman, until she has had some
experience in society, should be very careful
in inviting men to call.
She should not invite a man to call whom
she has met for the first time. No man
should be invited to call until she is assured
of his social standing and character.
In some parts of the country men first ask
permission to call, and in other parts women
first ask men to call.
ASKING WOMEN TO CALL ON WOMEN. It is
generally the custom for the married or elder
woman to ask the unmarried or younger
woman to call.
BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS
--CALLS.
BREAKFAST. See BREAKFASTS--CALLS.