ACCOMPLISHMENTS
I am sure that every girl wishes to become accomplished, and I am
quite as certain that every girl can become so if she will.
My dictionary defines an accomplishment as an "acquirement or
attainment that tends to perfect or equip in character, manners, or
person."
Surely every girl can do something, or has acquired some special line
of knowledge, that is covered by this broad definition.
It means that every girl who can sweep a room; read French or German
or English as it should be read; bake a loaf of bread; play tennis;
darn a stocking; play the violin or pianoforte; give the names of
flowers and birds and butterflies; write a neat, well-composed letter,
either in longhand or shorthand; draw or paint pictures; make a bed or
do one or more of a thousand and one other things is accomplished. The
more things she can do and the greater the number of subjects on which
she is informed, the more highly is she accomplished.
It is understood, as a matter of course, that thoroughness in one's
accomplishments is the true measure of his worth. One who knows a few
subjects very well is no doubt more accomplished than one who has only
a superficial "smatter" of knowledge concerning many.
We can all readily understand how much more pleasing it is to hear a
true virtuoso play the violin or pianoforte than it is to listen to a
beginner who can perform indifferently on a number of instruments.
"A little diamond is worth a mountain of glass."
Quality is the thing that counts.
The desire and disposition to do a thing well, coupled with a firm
determination, are pretty sure to bring the ability necessary for
achieving the wished-for end. The will is lacking more often than is
the way.
It is a matter of frequent comment that we usually expect too much of
the average young and attractive girl in the way of accomplishments.
Because she is pleasing in her general appearance we are apt to feel a
sense of disappointment if we find that her qualities of mind do not
equal her outward charms.
Charles Lamb says: "I know that sweet children are the sweetest things
in nature," and adds, "but the prettier the kind of a thing is, the
more desirable it is that it should be pretty of its kind." And so it
is with girls who are bright and blithe and beautiful; the world would
give them every charming quality of mind and heart to match the grace
of face and figure.
Hence we find that the girl who is most fondly wanted, by the members
of her own family, by her schoolmates, and by all with whom she shall
form an acquaintance, is the one who is as pleasing in her manners as
she is beautiful in her physical features.
Of all the accomplishments it is possible for a girl to possess, that
of being pleasant and gracious to those about her is the greatest and
most desirable. "There is no beautifier of the complexion, or form, or
behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us," says
Emerson.
It is possible for persons to acquire a great deal of information and
to become skillful in many things and still be unloved by those with
whom they are associated.
The heart needs to be educated even more than the mind, for it is the
heart that dominates and colors and gives character and meaning to the
whole of life. Even the kindest of words have little meaning unless
there is a kind heart to make them stand for something that will live.
"You will find as you look back upon your life," says Drummond, "that
the moments that stand out, the moments when you have really lived,
are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love. As
memory scans the past, above and beyond all the transitory pleasures
of life, there leap forward those supreme hours when you have been
enabled to do unnoticed kindnesses to those round about you, things
too trifling to speak about, but which you feel have entered into your
eternal life ... Everything else in our lives is transitory. Every
other good is visionary. But the acts of love which no man knows
about, or can ever know about--they never fail."
It is the ability to do the many little acts of kindness, and to make
the most of all the opportunities for gladding the lives of others,
that constitute the finest accomplishment any girl can acquire.
It often happens that the thought of the great kindnesses we should
like to do, and which we mean to do, "sometime" in the days to come,
keeps us from seeing the many little favors we could, if we would,
grant to those just about us at the present time. Yet we all know that
it is not the things we are going to do that really count. It is the
thing that we do do that is worth while.
No doubt we should all be much more thoughtful of our many present
opportunities and make better use of them were we frequently to ask
ourselves,
WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO-DAY?
We shall do so much in the years to come,
But what have we done to-day?
We shall give our gold in a princely sum,
But what did we give to-day?
We shall lift the heart and dry the tear,
We shall plant a hope in the place of fear,
We shall speak the words of love and cheer;
But what did we speak to-day?
We shall be so kind in the after while,
But what have we been to-day?
We shall bring each lonely life a smile,
But what have we brought to-day?
We shall give to truth a grander birth,
And to steadfast faith a deeper worth,
We shall feed the hungering souls of earth;
But whom have we fed to-day?
We shall reap such joys in the by and by,
But what have we sown to-day?
We shall build us mansions in the sky,
But what have we built to-day?
'T is sweet in idle dreams to bask,
But here and now do we do our task?
Yes, this is the thing our souls must ask,
"What have we done to-day?"
Among the every-day accomplishments which everyone should wish to
possess is a knowledge of the fine art of smiling. To know how and
when to smile, not too much and not too little, is a fine mental and
social possession.
Hawthorne says: "If I value myself on anything it is on having a smile
that children love." Any one possessing a smile that children as well
as others may love is to be congratulated. A pleasant, smiling face is
of great worth to its possessor and to the world that is privileged to
look upon it.
A smile is an indication that the one who is smiling is happy and
every happy person helps to make every one else happy. Yet we all
understand that happiness does not mean smiling all the time. There is
truly nothing more distressing than a giggler or one who is forever
grimacing. "True happiness," says one of our most cheerful writers,
"means the joyous sparkle in the eye and the little, smiling lines in
the face that are so quickly and easily distinguished from the lines
produced by depression and frowning that grow deeper and deeper until
they become as hard and severe as if they were cut in stone." Such
happiness is one of the virtues which people of all classes and ages,
the world over, admire and enjoy. "We do not know what ripples of
healing are set in motion," says Henry Drummond, "when we simply smile
on one another. Christianity wants nothing so much in the world as
sunny people."
Most persons are very quick to see whether or not a smile is genuine
or is manufactured and put on like a mask for the occasion. The
automatic, stock-in-trade smile hardly ever fits the face that tries
to wear it. It is a little too wide or sags at the corners or
something else is wrong with it.
A smile may be as deep as a well and as wide as a church door; it may
be "sweeter than honey," but the instant we detect that it is not
genuine, it loses its charm and becomes, in fact, much worse than no
smile at all. Smiles that are genuine are always just right both in
quality and quantity. So the only really safe rule is for us not to
smile until we feel like it and then we shall get on all right. And we
ought to feel like smiling whenever we look into the honest face of
any fellow being. A smile passes current in every country as a mark of
distinction.
But it is even possible to overdo in the matter of smiling. "I can't
think of anything more irritating to the average human being," says
Lydia Horton Knowles, "than an incessant, everlasting smile. There are
people who have it. When things go wrong they have a patient, martyr-like
smile, and when things go right they have a dutifully pleasant
smile which has all the appearance of being mechanical, and purely a
pose. Now I think the really intelligent person is the one who can
look as though he realized the significance of various incidents or
happenings and who can look sorrowful, even, if the occasion demands
it. It is not a pleasant thing to suffer mentally or physically, for
instance, and have any one come up to you with a smile of patient,
sweet condolence. The average man or woman does not want smiles when
he or she is uncomfortable. We are apt to remember that it is easy
enough to smile when it is somebody else who has the pain. I venture
to say that a smile given at the wrong moment is far more dangerous to
human happiness than the lack of a smile at any given psychological
moment. There is a time and a place for all things, even a smile."
No expression of feeling is of much moment without a warm heart and an
intelligent thought behind it. The seemingly mechanical, automatic
expressions of feeling and of interest in our affairs are sometimes
even harder to bear than an out and out attitude of indifference. The
thing that really warms and moves us is a touch of heartfelt,
intelligent
SYMPATHY
When the clouds begin to lower,
That's a splendid time to smile;
But your smile will lose its power
If you're smiling all the while.
Now and then a sober season,
Now and then a jolly laugh:
We like best, and there's a reason,
A good, wholesome half and half.
When the other one has trouble,
We should feel that trouble, too,
For, were we with joy to bubble
'Mid his grief, 't would hardly do.
Let us own that keen discerning
That can see and bear a part;
For the whole wide world is yearning
For a sympathetic heart.
Nothing is more restful and refreshing than a friendly glance or a
kindly word offered to us in the midst of our daily rounds of duty.
And since we are not often in a position to grant great favors we
should not fail to cultivate the habit of bestowing small ones
whenever we can. It is in giving the many little lifts along the way
that we shall be able to lighten many burdens.
I do not know it to be a fact, but I have read it somewhere in the
books that the human heart rests nine hours out of every twenty-four.
It manages to steal little bits of rest between beats, and thus it is
ever refreshed and able to go on performing the work nature has
assigned for it to do.
And therein is a first-rate lesson for most persons, who if they
cannot do something of considerable moment are disposed to do nothing
at all. They forget that it is the brief three-minute rests that
enable the mountain-climber to press on till he reaches the top
whereas longer periods of inactivity might serve to stiffen his limbs
and impede his progress.
Wise are they who, like the human heart, sprinkle rest and kindness
and heart's-ease all through their daily tasks. They weave a bright
thread of thankful happiness through the web and woof of life's
pattern. They are never too busy to say a kind word or to do a gentle
deed. They may be compelled to sigh betimes, but amid their sighs are
smiles that drive away the cares. They find sunbeams scattered in the
trail of every cloud. They gather flowers where others see nothing but
weeds. They pluck little sprigs of rest where others find only thorns
of distress.
After the manner of the human heart, they make much of the little
opportunities presented to them. They rest that they may have strength
for others. They gather sunshine with which to dispel the shadows
about them.
The grandest conception of life is to esteem it as an opportunity for
making others happy. He who is most true to his higher self is truest
to the race. The lamp that shines brightest gives the most light to
all about it. Thoreau says: "To enjoy a thing exclusively is commonly
to exclude yourself from the true enjoyment of life."
He is, indeed, a correct observer and a careful student of human
nature who tells us that the face is such an index of character that
the very growth of the latter can be traced upon the former, and most
of the successive lines that carve the furrowed face of age out of the
smooth outline of childhood are engraved directly or indirectly by
mind. There is no beautifier of the face like a beautiful spirit.
So we see that if we have acquired the habit of wearing a pleasant
face, or of smiling honestly and cheerfully, we have an accomplishment
that is worth more than many others that are more pretentious and more
superficial. If to this accomplishment we can add another--the ability
to speak a pleasant word to those whom we may meet--we are not to
think poorly of our equipment for life.
There is a good, old-fashioned word in the dictionary, the study of
which, with its definition, is well worth our while. The word is
"Complaisance," and it is defined as "the disposition, action, or
habit of being agreeable, or conforming to the views, wishes, or
convenience of others; desire or endeavor to please; courtesy;
politeness."
Complaisance, as it has been truly said, renders a superior amiable,
an equal agreeable, an inferior acceptable. It sweetens conversation;
it produces good-nature and mutual benevolence; it encourages the
timid, soothes the turbulent, humanizes the fierce, and distinguishes
a society of civilized persons from a confusion of savages.
Politeness has been defined as society's method of making things run
smoothly. True complaisance is a more intimate quality. It is an
impulse to seek points of agreement with others. A spirit of welcome,
whether to strangers, or to new suggestions, untried pleasures, fresh
impressions. It never is satisfied to remain inactive as long as there
is anybody to please or to make more comfortable.
The complaisant person need not be lacking in will, in determination,
or individuality. In fact it is the complaisant person's strength of
will that holds in check and harmonizes all the other traits of
character and moulds them into a perfectly balanced disposition.
Complaisance rounds off the sharp corners, chooses softer and gentler
words and makes it easy and pleasant for all to dwell together in
unity. And it never fails to contribute something to the enjoyment of
everyone even though it be
ONLY A WORD
Tell me something that will be
Joy through all the years to me.
Let my heart forever hold
One divinest grain of gold.
Just a simple little word,
Yet the dearest ever heard;
Something that will bring me rest
When the world seems all distressed.
As the candle in the night
Sends abroad its cheerful light,
So a little word may be
Like a lighthouse in the sea.
When the winds and waves of life
Fill the breast with storm and strife,
Just one star my boat may guide
To the harbor, glorified.
[Illustration: HARRIET BEECHER STOWE]
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[Transcriber's Note: Sidenote quotations from the preceeding chapter are
gathered in this section.]
Only to the pure and the true does Nature resign herself and reveal
her secrets.--Goethe.
Every man carries with him the world in which he must live, the stage
and the scenery for his own play.--F. Marion Crawford.
The best is yet unwritten, for we grow from more to more.--Sam Walter
Foss.
Notwithstanding a faculty be born with us, there are several methods
for cultivating and improving it.--Addison.
Every truth in the universe makes a close joint with every other
truth.--Melvin L. Severy.
All flimsy, shallow, and superficial work is a lie, of which a man
ought to be ashamed.--John Stuart Blackie.
When we cease to learn, we cease to be interesting.--John Lancaster
Spalding.
The workless people are the worthless people.--Wm. C. Gannett.
Our ideals are our better selves.--Bronson Alcott.
All literature, art, and science are vain, and worse, if they do not
enable you to be glad, and glad, justly.--Ruskin.
All things else are of the earth, but love is of the sky.--William
Stanley Braithwaite.
To fill the hour, that is happiness.--Emerson.
Ah, well that in a wintry hour the heart can sing a summer song.
--Edward Francis Burns.
Avast there! Keep a bright lookout forward and good luck to you.
--Dickens.
Genius is the transcendent capacity for taking trouble first of all.
--Carlyle.
For dreams, to those of steadfast hope and will, are things wherewith
they build their world of fact.--Alicia K. Van Buren.
No man can rest who has nothing to do.--Sam Walter Foss.
Love is the leaven of existence.--Melvin L. Severy.
Work is no disgrace but idleness is.--Hesiod.
Shoddy work is not only a wrong to a man's own personal integrity,
hurting his character; but also it is a wrong to society. Truthfulness
in work is as much demanded as truthfulness in speech.--Hugh Black.
The flowering of civilization is in the finished man, the man of
sense, of grace, of accomplishment, of social power--the gentleman.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson.
It is all very well to growl at the cold-heartedness of the world, but
which of us can truthfully say that he has done as much for others as
others have done for him?--Patrick Flynn.
A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work, and
done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him
no peace.--Emerson.
Some people meet us like the mountain air and thrill our souls with
freshness and delight.--Nathan Haskell Dole.
I let the willing winter bring his jeweled buds of frost and snow.
--Edward Francis Burns.
The world is unfinished; let's mold it a bit.--Sam Walter Foss.
Our wishes are presentiments of the capabilities which lie within us
and harbingers of that which we shall be in a condition to perform.
--Goethe.
Do not let us overlook the wayside flowers.--Joe Mitchell Chapple.
Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or
misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a
thunderstorm.--R. L. Stevenson.
The wealth of a man is the number of things which he loves and
blesses, and by which he is loved and blessed.--Carlyle.
The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires
is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.--Jonathan Swift.
Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.--Lord
Chesterfield.
Indulge not in vain regrets for the past, in vainer resolves for the
future--act, act in the present.--F. W. Robertson.
The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in our power.--Hugh
White.
The man who cannot be practical and mix his religion with his business
is either in the wrong religion or in the wrong business.--Patrick
Flynn.
I don't think there is a pleasure in the world that can be compared
with an honest joy in conquering a difficult task.--Margaret E.
Sangster.
Every right action and true thought sets the seal of its beauty on
every person's face; every wrong action and foul thought its seal of
distortion.--Ruskin.
Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from
themselves.--J. M. Barrie.
Politeness is like an air cushion; there may be nothing in it, but it
eases the jolts wonderfully.--George Eliot.
Sloth makes all things difficult, but industry all things easy.
--Benjamin Franklin.
Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness
without action.--Disraeli.
We would willingly have others perfect and yet we amend not our own
faults.--Thomas a Kempis.
The most manifold sign of wisdom is continued cheer.--Montaigne.
There is only one cure for public distress--and that is public
education, directed to make men thoughtful, merciful, and just.
--Ruskin.
To believe a business impossible is the way to make it so.--Wade.
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