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[Illustration: MARTHA WASHINGTON]
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THE GIRL WANTED
A BOOK OF FRIENDLY THOUGHTS
BY
NIXON WATERMAN
AUTHOR OF "BOY WANTED,"
"A BOOK OF VERSES," "IN
MERRY MOOD," ETC.
CHICAGO
FORBES AND COMPANY
1919
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Copyright, 1910, By
Forbes and Company
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TO
--The girl wanted, who,
By her beautiful ways,
Shall brighten and gladden
Life's wonderful days.
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PREFACE
The pleasure of giving to the public this volume has been brought
about by the publication of the author's work entitled, "Boy
Wanted," which he presented as "a book of cheerful counsel to his
young friends and such of the seniors as are not too old to accept
a bit of friendly admonition."
The warm welcome accorded that book, and the many requests it has
called forth for a similar companion volume for girls, has prompted
the author to prepare the series of papers offered herewith, with
the hope that they, too, may find as many youthful friends (between
the ages of seven and seventy) awaiting them.
In the present volume, as in "Boy Wanted," the fine prose thoughts
are selected from the writings of a very large number of the world's
foremost teachers and philosophers of all times, while the author,
with a due sense of modesty, lays claim to all such examples of
versification as are to be found within this book.
In these days when the women of the world, with such splendid success,
are writing books for the moral guidance and spiritual uplift of the
men and youth of every land, an author need not feel called upon to
apologize when he presumes to address his remarks to readers of the
opposite sex, as did John Ruskin, to such fine purpose, in the "Pearls
for Young Ladies."
Since his own mother, wife, sisters, daughters and many of his best
friends belong to the feminine half of humanity, any man who is a
careful observer, a logical reasoner, and an adequate writer ought
to be able to say something of worth and interest to the women and
girls to whom he is permitted to address himself. If in this volume
the author is able to impart to others, in a small degree, the
beneficent influence he has received through the splendid precepts
and noble examples of the women to whom he owes so much, he will
deem himself grandly rewarded for the labor of love herein set forth.
Nor is the author unconscious of the great purpose that should
underlie the writing of a series of papers designed to direct the
daughters of our land toward the greatest factor in the making and
the perpetuity of a nation--a noble and beautiful womanhood. For
observation has taught the world that--
We're almost sure to find good men,
When, all in all, we choose to take them,
Are, nearly nine times out of ten,
What mothers, wives and sisters make them.
N. W.
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CONTENTS
CHAPTER PAGE
I CHOOSING THE WAY 13
Starting right. The strength of early impressions. "Environment."
The will and the way. Planning the future. "Mother's
Apron Strings."
II ACCOMPLISHMENTS 27
The ability to do things. Elegant and useful accomplishments.
The value of thoroughness. "What Have We Done To-day?" The
service of the heart. "Sympathy." "Only A Word."
III THE JOY OF DOING 45
The power of enthusiasm. Working with heart and hand.
Looking on the bright side. "Just This Minute." Happiness and
its relation to health. Paths of sunshine. "The Sculptor."
IV SOME EVERY-DAY VIRTUES 65
The desire to do right. The importance of every-day incidents.
True culture. "A Rose to the Living." Patience as a virtue. "This
Busy World."
V THE VALUE OF SUNSHINE 85
"Likableness" as a desirable quality. The present the best of all
times. The sunshiny girl. "The Prize Winner." The necessity
of being prepared. "The Conqueror."
VI A MERRY HEART 105
Smoothing the way with a smile. The unselfishness of happiness.
"The Point of View." The joy of living for others. "The
Better Armor." Cultivating happiness. "Song or Sigh."
VII GOLDEN HABITS 125
Good habits and bad. The strength of habit. "True Gentility."
Manners and personality. "What Are You Going to Do?" The
worth of good breeding. "Drudgery."
VIII THE PURPOSE OF LIFE 145
The inspiration of success. Building day by day. "Morning
Gates." The value of a purpose. Women's growing sphere. "Man,
Poor Man." Opportunities and responsibilities. "Morning Prayer."
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ILLUSTRATIONS
Martha Washington Frontispiece
Queen Victoria Page 26
Harriet Beecher Stowe " 44
Louisa M. Alcott " 64
Julia Ward Howe " 84
Elizabeth Barrett Browning " 104
Florence Nightingale " 124
George Eliot " 144
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THE GIRL WANTED
CHAPTER I
CHOOSING THE WAY
Yes, my good girl, I am very glad that we are to have the opportunity
to enjoy a friendly chat through the medium of the printed page, with
its many tongues of type.
Just here I have a favor to ask of you, and that is that you will
consent to let us talk chiefly about yourself and the manner in which
you are going to live all the golden to-morrows that are awaiting you.
In a discussion of the topics which are to follow, it will be well for
you to understand that there has never been a period in the world's
history when a girl was of more importance than she is just now.
Indeed, many close observers and clear thinkers are of the opinion
that there never has been a time when a girl was of quite so much
importance as she is to-day.
Some of our most able writers tell us that we are just on the
threshold of "the women's century," and that the great advance the
world is to witness in the forthcoming years is to be largely inspired
by, and redound to the glory of, the women of the earth.
Come what will, the future is sufficiently alluring to cause you to
cherish it most fondly and to determine that you will make the years
that are before you as bright and beautiful and as "worth while" as it
is possible for you to do.
It is a glorious privilege to dwell in the very forefront of time, in
the grandest epoch of the world's history and to feel that we are
permitted to be observers of, and if it may so be, active participants
in, the fascinating events that are occurring all about us.
Yet with all the grand achievements that are being encompassed in
every field of human endeavor, the world to-day, needs most, that
which the world has ever most needed--words helpful and true, hearts
kind and tender, hands willing and ready to lift the less fortunate
over the rough places in the paths of life, goodness and grace, gentle
women and gentlemen.
And so here we find ourselves, just at this particular spot and at
this very moment, with all of the days, months, years--yes, the whole
of eternity--still to be lived!
At first thought it seems like a great problem, does this having to
decide how we are going to live out all the great future that is
before us. Yet, when we come to think it over, we see that it is not
so difficult after all; for, fortunate mortals that we are, we shall
never have to live it but one moment at a time. And, better still,
that one moment is always to be the one that is right here and just
now where we can see it and study it and shape it and do with it as we
will.
Just this minute!
Surely it will not require a great deal of effort on the part of any
one of us to live the next sixty seconds as they should be lived. And
having lived one moment properly, it ought to be still easier for us
to live the next one as well, and then the next, and the next until,
finally, we continue to live them rightly, just as a matter of habit.
When we come to understand clearly that time is the thing of which
lives are made, and that time is divided into a certain number of
units, we can then pretty closely figure out, by simple processes in
arithmetic, how much life is going to be worth to us.
What we are doing this minute, multiplied by sixty, tells us what we
are likely to accomplish in an hour.
What we do in an hour, multiplied by the number of working hours in
every twenty-four, tells us what we may expect to achieve in a day.
What we do in a day, multiplied by three hundred and sixty-five, shows
us what it is probable we shall accomplish in a year.
What we do in a year, when multiplied by the number of years of youth
and health and strength, we have reason to believe are yet before us,
sets forth the result we may hope to secure in a lifetime. For it is
not hard for us to comprehend that.
If, ever, while this minute's here,
We use it circumspectly,
We'll live this hour, this day, this year,
Yes, all our lives, correctly.
As the work of the builder is preceded by the plans of the architect,
so the deeds we do in life are preceded by the thoughts we think. The
thought is the plan; the deed is the structure.
"As the twig is bent the tree is inclined." Wordsworth tells us: "The
child is father of the man." Which means, also, that the child is
mother of the woman. That which we dream to-day we may do to-morrow.
The toys of childhood become the tools of our maturer years.
So it follows that an important part of the work and occupation of
one's early years should be to learn to have right thoughts, which,
later on in life, are to become right actions.
The pleasant, helpful girl is most likely to become the pleasant,
helpful woman. The seed that is sown in the springtime of life
determines the character of the harvest that must be reaped in the
autumn.
The cultivation of the right point of view means so much in
determining one's attitude toward all that the years may bring. Three
centuries ago it was written: "What is one man's poison is another's
meat or drink." So there are many things in life that bring pleasure
to some and distress to others.
There is a beautiful little story about a shepherd boy who was keeping
his sheep in a flowery meadow, and because his heart was happy, he
sang so loudly that the surrounding hills echoed back his song. One
morning the king, who was out hunting, spoke to him and said: "Why are
you so happy, my boy?"
"Why should I not be happy?" answered the boy. "Our king is not richer
than I."
"Indeed," said the king, "pray tell me of your great possessions."
The shepherd boy answered: "The sun in the bright blue sky shines as
brightly upon me as upon the king. The flowers upon the mountain and
the grass in the valley grow and bloom to gladden my sight as well as
his. I would not take a fortune for my hands; my eyes are of more
value than all the precious stones in the world. I have food and
clothing, too. Am I not, therefore, as rich as the king?"
"You are right," said the king, with a smile, "but your greatest
treasure is your contented heart. Keep it so, and you will always be
happy."
So much of life's happiness depends upon one's immediate surroundings
that wherever it is a matter of choice they should be made to conform
as nearly as possible to the thoughts and tastes one wishes to
cultivate. As a matter of course but few persons can have just the
surroundings they would like, but it is possible that by pleasant
thinking all of us can make the surroundings we have more likable. We
can, at least, be thoughtful of the character of the friends and
companions we choose to have with us, and it is they who are the most
vital and influential part of our
ENVIRONMENT
Shine or shadow, flame or frost,
Zephyr-kissed or tempest-tossed,
Night or day, or dusk or dawn,
We are strangely lived upon.
Mystic builders in the brain--
Mirth and sorrow, joy and pain,
Grief and gladness, gloom and light--
Build, oh, build my heart aright!
O ye friends, with pleasant smiles,
Help me build my precious whiles;
Bring me blocks of gold to make
Strength that wrong shall never shake.
Day by day I gather from
All you give me. I become
Yet a part of all I meet
In the fields and in the street.
Bring me songs of hope and youth,
Bring me bands of steel and truth,
Bring me love wherein to find
Charity for all mankind.
Place within my hands the tools
And the Master Builder's rules,
That the walls we fashion may
Stand forever and a day.
Help me build a palace where
All is wonderfully fair--
Built of truth, the while, above,
Shines the pinnacle of love.
If we are to receive help and strength from our friends we must lend
them help and strength in return. And since the deeds of others
inspire us we should not deem it impossible to make our deeds inspire
them.
Helen Keller, who, though deaf and blind, has achieved so many
wonderful and beautiful victories over the barriers that have beset
her, says: "My share in the work of the world may be limited, but the
fact that it is work makes it precious.... Darwin could work only half
an hour at a time; yet in many diligent half-hours he laid anew the
foundations of philosophy.... Green, the historian, tells us that the
world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but
also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker."
In the same spirit the great French savant, Emile Zola, penned these
words: "Let each one accept his task, a task which should fill his
life. It may be very humble; it will not be the less useful. Never
mind what it is, so long as it exists and keeps you erect! When you
have regulated it, without excess--just the quantity you are able to
accomplish each day--it will cause you to live in health and in joy."
Some wise observer has said that one of the chief aims of life should
be to learn how to grow old gracefully. This knowledge is deemed by
many to be a great secret and a most valuable one. Yet it can hardly
be called a secret since every girl and boy as well as every person of
maturer years must know that it is but the working out of the laws of
cause and effect. When character-building is begun on the right lines
and those lines are followed to the end the result is as certain as it
is beautiful. When we see a grandmother whose life has been lived on
the happy plane of pure thoughts and kind deeds we ought not to wonder
that her old age is as exquisite as was the perfect bloom of her
youth. We need not marvel how it has come about that her life has been
a long and happy one. Here is the "secret:"
She knew how to forget disagreeable things.
She kept her nerves well in hand and inflicted them on no one.
She mastered the art of saying pleasant things.
She did not expect too much from her friends.
She made whatever work came to her congenial.
She retained her faith in others and did not believe all the world
wicked and unkind.
She relieved the miserable and sympathized with the sorrowful.
She never forgot that kind words and a smile cost nothing, but are
priceless treasures to the discouraged.
She did unto others as she would be done by, and now that old age has
come to her, and there is a halo of white hair about her brow, she is
loved and considered. This is the "secret" of a long life and a happy
one.
Fortunate is the girl who is permitted to dwell within the living
presence of such a matron and to be directed by her into the paths of
usefulness and sunshine. And thrice fortunate is every girl who has
for her guide and counselor a loving mother to whom she can go for
light and wisdom with which to meet all the problems of life.
"Mother knows." Her earnest, loving words are to be cherished above
all others as many men and many women have learned after the long
miles and the busy years have crept between them and "the old folks at
home." Do not, O Girl! I pray you, ever grow impatient, as boys
sometimes do, to be set beyond the protecting care of
MOTHER'S APRON-STRINGS
When I was but a careless youth,
I thought the truly great
Were those who had attained, in truth,
To man's mature estate.
And none my soul so sadly tried
Or spoke such bitter things
As he who said that I was tied
To mother's apron-strings.
I loved my mother, yet it seemed
That I must break away
And find the broader world I dreamed
Beyond her presence lay.
But I have sighed and I have cried
O'er all the cruel stings
I would have missed had I been tied
To mother's apron-strings.
O happy, trustful girls and boys!
The mother's way is best.
She leads you 'mid the fairest joys,
Through paths of peace and rest.
If you would have the safest guide,
And drink from sweetest springs,
Oh, keep your hearts forever tied
To mother's apron-strings.
[Illustration: QUEEN VICTORIA]
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[Transcriber's Note: Sidenote quotations from the preceeding chapter are
gathered in this section.]
What can be expressed in words can be expressed in life.--Thoreau.
It is faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a
life worth looking at.--Oliver Wendell Holmes.
The habit of viewing things cheerfully, and of thinking about life
hopefully, may be made to grow up in us like any other habit.
--Smiles.
A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any state of the market.
--Charles Lamb.
The old days never come again, because they would be getting in the
way of the new, better days whose turn it is.--George MacDonald.
The man who has learned to take things as they come, and to let go as
they depart, has mastered one of the arts of cheerful and contented
living.--Anonymous.
Cheerfulness is the very flower of health.--Schopenhauer.
There are people who do not know how to waste their time alone, and
hence become the scourge of busy people.--De Bonald.
Not what has happened to myself to-day, but what has happened to
others through me--that should be my thought.--Frederick Deering
Blake.
Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to
bear are those which never come.--Lowell.
The highest luxury of which the human mind is sensible is to call
smiles upon the face of misery.--Anonymous.
He who is plenteously provided for from within, needs but little from
without.--Goethe.
Each day should be distinguished by at least one particular act of
love.--Lavater.
Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of his
abilities, and for no more; and none can tell whose sphere is the
largest.--Gail Hamilton.
Work is the very salt of life, not only preserving it from decay, but
also giving it tone and flavor.--Hugh Black.
Treat your friends for what you know them to be. Regard no surfaces.
Consider not what they did, but what they intended.--Thoreau.
Work! It is the sole law of the world.--Emile Zola.
No lot is so hard, no aspect of things is so grim, but it relaxes
before a hearty laugh.--George S. Merriam.
Concentration is the secret of strength.--Emerson.
Anybody can do things with an "if"--the thing is to do them without.
--Patrick Flynn.
An aim in life is the only fortune worth the finding; and it is not to
be found in foreign lands, but in the heart itself.--R. L. Stevenson.
The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder; a waif, a
nothing, a no-man. Have a purpose in life ... and having it, throw
such strength of mind and muscle into thy work as has been given
thee.--Carlyle.
It is better to be worn out with work in a thronged community than to
perish of inaction in a stagnant solitude.--Mrs. Gaskell.
The advantage of leisure is mainly that we have the power of choosing
our own work; not certainly that it confers any privilege of
idleness.--Lord Avebury.
Suffering becomes beautiful, when any one bears great calamities with
cheerfulness, not through insensibility, but through greatness of
mind.--Aristotle.
Character is a perfectly educated will.--Novalis.
One of the most massive and enduring gratifications is the feeling of
personal worth, ever afresh, brought into consciousness by effectual
action; and an idle life is balked of its hopes partly because it
lacks this.--Herbert Spencer.
Truth is always consistent with itself, and needs nothing to help it
out.--Tillotson.
He that is choice of his time will be choice of his company and choice
of his actions.--Jeremy Taylor.
Our character is our will; for what we will we are.--Archbishop
Manning.
He overcomes a stout enemy that overcomes his own anger.--Chilo.
Good company and good conversation are the sinews of virtue.
--Stephen Allen.
If you have great talents, industry will improve them; if you have but
moderate abilities, industry will supply their deficiency. Nothing is
denied to well directed labor; nothing is to be obtained without it.
--Joshua Reynolds.
If you are doing any real good you cannot escape the reward of your
service.--Patrick Flynn.
Simplicity and plainness are the soul of elegance.--Dickens.
Happiness is one of the virtues which the people of all nationalities
and every pursuit appreciate.--Joe Mitchell Chapple.
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