Minds his studies--Informs his master of his mother's
marriage, and usage of him--Hears of her death--Makes his
master his guardian--Goes with him to take possession of his
estate--Is informed all is given to his father-in-law--Moral
reflections on his condition, and on his father's crimes.
I was now near nineteen years of age; and though I had so much more in
my head than my school-learning, I know not how it happened, but ever
since the commencement of my amour with Patty, having somebody to
disburden my mind to, and to participate in my concerns, I had been
much easier, and had kept true tally with my book, with more than usual
delight; and being arrived to an age to comprehend what I heard and
read, I could, from the general idea I had of things, form a pretty
regular piece of Latin, without being able to repeat the very rules it
was done by; so that I had the acknowledgment of my master for the best
capacity he ever had under his tuition: this, he not sparing frequently
to mention it before me, was the acutest spur he could have applied to
my industry; and now, having his good will, I began to disuse set hours
of exercise, but at my conveniency applied myself to my studies as I
best pleased, being always sure to perform as much, or more, than he
ever enjoined me; till I grew exceedingly in his confidence, and by
reason of my age (though I was but small, yet manly) I became rather his
companion upon parties than his direct pupil.
It was upon one of these parties I took the opportunity to declare the
dissatisfaction I had at my mother's second marriage. "Sir," says I,
"surely I was of age to have known it first, especially considering the
affection my mother had always shown to me, and my never once having
done the least thing to disoblige her; but, sir," said I, "something
else, I fear, is intended by my mother's silence to me; for I have never
received above three letters from her since I came here, which is now,
you know, three years, and those were within the first three months.
I then showed him the fore-mentioned letter I received from my new
father-in-law, and assured him that gave me the first hint of this
second marriage."
I found, by the attention my master gave to my relation, he seemed to
suspect this marriage would prove detrimental to me; but not on the
sudden knowing what to say to it, he told me he would consider of it;
and, by all means, advised me to write a very obliging letter to my new
father, with my humble request that he would please to order me home the
next recess of our learning. I did so under my master's dictation; and
not long after received an answer to the following effect:--
"Son Peter,--Your mother has been dead a good while; and as to your
request, it will be only expensive, and of little use; for a person who
must live by his studies can't apply to them too closely."
This letter, if I had a little hope left, quite subdued my fortitude,
and well-nigh reduced me to clay. However, with tears in my eyes, I
showed it to my master, who, good man! wishing me well, "Peter," says
he, "what can this mean? here is some mystery concealed in it; here
is some ill design on foot!" Then taking the letter into his hand, "A
person who must live by his studies," says he; "here is more meant than
we can think for. Why, have not you a pretty estate to live upon, when
it comes to your hands? Peter," says he, "I would advise you to go to
your father and inquire how your affairs are left; but I am afraid
to let you go alone, and will, when my students depart at Christmas,
accompany you myself with all my heart; for you must know I have advised
on your affair already, and find you are of age to choose yourself a
guardian, who may be any relation or friend you can confide in; and may
see you have justice done you." I immediately thanked him for the hint,
and begged him to accept of the trust, as my only friend, having very
few, if any, near relations: this he with great readiness complied with,
and was admitted accordingly.
So soon as our scholars were gone home, my master lending me a horse,
we set out together to possess ourselves of all my father's real estate,
and such part of the personal as he had been advised would belong to
me. Well, we arrived at the old house, but were not received with such
extraordinary tokens of friendship as would give the least room to
suppose we were welcome. For my part, all I said, or could say, was that
I was very sorry for my mother's death. My father replied so was he.
Here we paused, and might have sat silent till this time for me, if my
master, a grave man, who had seen the world, and was unwilling any part
of our time there, which we guessed would be short, should be lost, had
not broke silence. "Mr. G." says he, "I see the loss of Master Wilkins's
mother puts him under some confusion; so that you will excuse me, as his
preceptor and friend, in making some inquiry how his affairs stand, and
how his effects are disposed, as I don't doubt you have taken care to
schedule everything that will be coming to him; and though he is not
yet of the necessary age for taking upon himself the management of his
estate, he is nevertheless of capacity to understand the nature and
quantum of it, and to show his approbation of the disposition of it,
as if he was a year or two older." During this discourse, Mr. G. turned
pale, then reddened, was going to interrupt, then checked himself; but
however kept silence till my master had done; when, with a sneer, he
replied, "Sir, I must own myself a great stranger to your discourse; nor
can I, for my life, imagine what your harangue tends to; but sure I am,
I know of no estate, real or personal, or anything else belonging to
young Mr. Wilkins, to make a schedule of, as you call it: but this I
know, his mother had an estate in land, near two hundred a year, and
also a good sum of money when I married her; but the estate she settled
on me before her marriage, to dispose of after her decease as I saw fit;
and her money and goods are all come to my sole use, as her husband." I
was just ready to drop while Mr. G. gave this relation, and was not able
to reply a word; but my master, though sufficiently shocked at what he
had heard, replied, "Sir, I am informed the estate, and also the money
you mention, was Mr. Wilkins's father's at his death; and I am surprised
to think any one should have a better title to them than my pupil, his
only child."--"Sir," says Mr. G., "you are deceived; and though what you
say seems plausible enough, and is in some part true, as that the late
Mr. Wilkins had such estate, and some hundreds--I may say thousands--at
his death; yet you seem ignorant that he made a deed, just before
entering into the fatal rebellion, by which he gave my late wife both
the estate, money, and everything else he had, absolutely, without any
conditions whatsoever; all which, on his unhappy execution, she enjoyed,
and now of right, as I told you before, belongs to me. However, as
I have no child, if Peter behaves well under your direction, I have
thoughts of paying another year's board for him, and then he must shift
for himself."--"Oh!" cried I, "for the mercy of some savage beast to
devour me! Is this what I have been cockered up for? Why was I not
placed out to some laborious craft, where I might have drudged for bread
in my proper station? But I fear it is too late to inquire into what is
past, and must submit."
My master, good man! was thunderstruck at what he had heard; and finding
our business done there, we took our leaves; after Mr. G. had again
repeated, that if I behaved well, my preceptor should keep me another
year, which was all I must expect from him; and at my departure he gave
me a crown-piece, which I then durst not refuse, for fear of offending
my master.
We made the best of our way home again to my tutor's, where I stayed but
a week to consider what I should do for myself. In this time he did all
he could to comfort me; telling me if I would stay with him and become
his usher, he would complete my learning for nothing, and allow me a
salary for my trouble. But my heart was too lofty to think of becoming
an usher within so little way from mine own estate in other hands.
However, since I had not a penny of money to endeavour at recovering my
right with, I told my master I would consider of his proposal.
During my stay with him he used all methods to make me as easy as
possible; and frequently moralised with so much effect, that I was
almost convinced I ought to submit and be content. Amongst the rest
of his discourse, he endeavoured to show me (one day after I had been
loudly condemning my cruel fortune, and saying I was born to be unhappy)
that I was mistaken if I thought or imagined it was chance or accident
that had been against me when I complained of fortune. "For," says he,
"Peter, there is nothing done below but is at least foreknown, if not
decreed, above; and our business in life is to believe so: not that I
would have such belief make us careless, and think it to no purpose to
strive, as some do; who, being persuaded that our actions are not in our
own choice, but that, being pressed by an irresistible decree, we
are forced to act this or that, fancy we must be necessarily happy or
miserable hereafter; or, as others, who, for fear of falling upon that
shocking principle, would even deprive the Almighty of foreknowledge,
lest it should consequentially amount to a decree: for, say they, what
is foreknown, will and must be. But I would have you act so as that, let
either of these tenets be true, you may still be sure of making yourself
easy and happy; and for that purpose let me recommend to you a uniform
life of justice and piety; always choosing the good rather than the bad
side of every action: for this, say they what they will to the contrary,
is not above the power of a reasonable being to practise: and doing so,
you may without scruple say,--If there is foreknowledge of my actions,
or they are decreed, I then am one who is foreknown or decreed to be
happy. And this, without farther speculation, you will find the only
means always to keep you so; for all men, of all denominations, fully
allow this happy effect to follow good actions. Again, Peter, a person
acting in a vicious course, with such an opinion in his head as above,
must surely be very miserable, as his very actions themselves must
pronounce the decree against him: whilst, therefore, we have not heard
the decree read, you see we may easily give sentence whether it be for
good or evil to us, by the tenor and course of our own actions.
"You are not now to learn, Peter, that the crimes of the father are
often punished in the children, often in the father himself, sometimes
in both, and not seldom in neither, in this life; and though, at first,
one should think the future punishment annexed to bad actions was
sufficient, still it is necessary some should suffer here also for an
example to others; we being much more affected with what the eye sees,
than what the heart only meditates upon.
"Now, to bring it to our own case; your father, Peter, rose against the
lawful magistrate, to deprive him (it matters not that he was a bad one)
of his lawful power. Your father's policy was such, and his design so
well laid, as he thought, that upon any ill success to himself, he had
secured his estate to go in the way of all others he could wish to have
it, and sits down very well contented that, happen what would, he should
bite the Government in preventing the forfeiture. But lo! his policy
is as a wall of sand blown down with a puff! for it is to you it ought,
even himself being umpire, to have come, as no one would think he would
prize any before you, his own child. Now, could he look from the grave,
and know what passes here, and see Mr. G. in possession of all he
fancied he had secured for you, what a weak and short-sighted creature
would he find himself! If it be said he did not know he should have a
child, then herein appears God's policy beyond man's; for He knew it,
and has so ordered that that child should be disinherited; for, by the
way, Peter, take this for a maxim, wherever the first principle of an
action is ill, no good consequence can possibly ever be an attendant on
it. Could he, as I said before, but look up and see you, his only child,
undone by the very instrument he designed for your security, how
pungent would be his anxiety! I say, Peter, though there is something
so unaccountable to human wisdom in such events of things, yet there is
something therein so reasonable and just withal, that by a prying eye,
the Supreme Hand may very visibly be seen in them. Now, this being
plainly the case before us, and herein the glory of the Almighty
exalted, rest content under it, and let not this disappointment,
befallen you for your father's faults, be attended with others sent down
for your own; but remember this, the Hand that depresses a man is no
less able to exalt and establish him."