"----What now remains
But that once more we tempt the wat'ry plains,
And wandering homewards, seek our safety hence."
DRYDEN.
Amongst the many contested questions which perplex conversation, and
seem destined to remain undecided, is comparison between the sum of
happiness derivable by those who are easily pleased, from frequently
recurring and commonly procurable resources, and that resulting from
the seldom tasted but vivid raptures of the fastidious, who, too
refined for average gratification, find life a desert, in which, like
"angel visits few and long between," the thinly scattered spangles of
verdure glow with intensity of freshness amid surrounding gloom. We
confess that our own minds suffered vacillation upon this important
topic, till, having witnessed the every-day felicity of Henbury Lodge,
we were enabled to cast the make-weight of its _beau rivant_ into
the scale of "little things."
As a flat road, however, admits of quick driving, we shall not detain
the reader unmercifully in describing a scene which presented no
alterations of light and shade, no moral vicissitudes of hill and dale,
to vary the landscape; but satisfy ourselves with a short sketch of
connubial contentment in a welcome-home to Mr. and Mrs. Hartland, who
after a brief aberration from their domestic settlement, returned to
the delights of clipped hedges, rolled terrace, and trim bowers.
It may be remembered that our wedded pair had each passed the term when
people of both sexes in the presumption of life's springtide, talk of
marriage as a common event which "comes to all;" and toss their
fortunes to and fro, with lavish prodigality, altogether unprophetic of
succeeding dearth.
This was precisely the case with _ci-devant_ Miss Robinson, who, having
rejected a crowd of aspirants, had begun to feel a chill frost creeping
over the season of youth, and the joy of seeing herself now
prosperously "_established_," and contemplating a well sized, well
furnished mansion, in which she ruled by the style and title of "_Mrs._
Hartland," produced a degree of self-gratulation proportioned to the
fears which had preceded her present elevation. She was a common place,
prudent woman, and we must not be too severe on the weaknesses which
were we, however, so stupid as not to observe, we should exercise no
charity in forgiving. We do confess then, though not in the spirit of
ill-nature, that no happiness ever transcended that of our recent
matron, when seated in a new post-chaise, the pannels of which were
like mirrors in which you might have shaved yourself, every strap and
brace polished to black satin, postilion light and dapper, dressed in a
fresh suit of green and silver, horses prancing, sun shining, she took
her joyous course along her own smoothly gravelled approach, armed with
a ticket-case of carved ivory in her hand, to perform the first circuit
of country visits in return for those which had been unsparingly
lavished on the late event. Neither did this gladness perish through
its vivacity, as is the case with the generality of powerful
stimulants, but there was a constantly recurring bliss in the sounds of
"My _own_ house, my _own_ carriage, my _own_ servants," &c. which
produced new impression at every repetition.
Mr. Hartland's situation was not less enviable. Having passed all his
youthful prime without considering marriage as practicable, he had
thought less than any body during early life of changing his condition;
and since he had attained competency, and became desirous of uniting
himself suitably to a virtuous partner, the difficulties of seeking,
finding, choosing, proposing, and wedding, rose upon his view like Alps
beyond Alps, and presented such a formidable barrier against hope, that
he could not see how the matter was ever to be undertaken, much less
how it would ever come to pass.
The husband, therefore, was just as much enchanted as the wife. He felt
himself raised in the scale of creation; he was now a person of more
consequence than he had ever been before. Then his affections, which
had been arrested by his mother's death, and which might be said to
have suffered a blockade since that event, were all set flowing again
with redoubled tenderness and activity. His former poverty, too, having
prevented him from being an object of competition, his vanity had never
been excited, and he was a total stranger, in his own person, to those
attentions, which, we are sorry to say, are often disgustingly paid to
men by the fair sex, when rank or fortune furnishes motive for
entrapping them. Mr. Hartland's gratitude, therefore, to Miss Robinson,
for having married him, was as sincere as it was unbounded; and thus
this favoured pair were, in the language of the nursery tales of olden
time, "as happy as the day is long;" reminding us of the spider, who
spinning her web from her own vitals, "lives along the line" of her own
daily occupation; or (as we are given to comparison), the Hartlands
frequently suggested to our memory the Epicurean aspiration of the
celebrated Quin, "Oh, that I had a throat half a mile in length, and
palate all the way." Now, the moral palate of Henbury's inhabitants
extended to the utmost verge of their possessions; and they might be
said to taste and relish whatever they found in their path.
They had neither of them seen much of the world, and neither knew any
thing of that high and towering intellect, which, like the lofty eagle,
quits the level of the plain, and builds its eyrie in an upper world
all its own. The Hartlands had sharp common understandings, good
nature, and discretion; but they rose not above mediocrity, and were of
that class whose _natural_ walk is on the earth. They were _busy_ all
day long about every thing; interested alike in the gravest or minutest
concerns, and never tortured their brains with any subject of
contemplation beyond the reach of sense. Healthful in mind, as well as
in body; gay, and continually employed; they talked, and walked, and
rode, and drove, dined out, and gave dinners at home, and were never
weary of themselves, or of the society around them.
But the cup of existence is never unmixed. If the wormwood leaf float
not on its surface, it will be found lying at the bottom. Three years
glided by. The first was one of such novelty and incessant excitement,
that no yawning chasm was seen, felt, or understood; the second was
sometimes slightly tinged by anxiety lest the pleasant hedge-rows of
Henbury Lodge should one day encircle another race, and stranger feet
should press its smiling lawns; but when a third year closed its barren
account with blighted hopes, expectation died away; and though Mr. and
Mrs. Hartland were still the envy of the region in which they grew, and
were universally declared to be worthy of an annual flitch, it was
nevertheless remarked, and especially by Miss Ferret, whose penetration
stood high in public regard, that "all was not right at Henbury."
At first her hints conveyed nothing more determinate, than was
communicated in the adage, "All is not gold that glisters;" but this
had the effect of setting those who were less intimate than herself
with the friends whose undefined sorrows she zealously published,
writhing with curiosity, while her own gained time for such inquisition
as should bring her to the true cause of that change, the effects of
which only her quick eye had as yet discerned. Besides, it was more
consonant with Miss Ferret's idea of _true friendship_ to set other
wits upon the discovery of any thing disagreeable, should such exist,
than _directly_ to proclaim it herself; and therefore every purpose
was gained of stimulating the industry of other gossips, while her
innuendoes, darkly dropped, persuaded the entire vicinage that she knew
a great deal more than she chose to reveal, and was only withheld from
promulgating to the full extent of her information, by "the sincere
regard which she entertained for the Hartlands."
But what is there which a union of talents and diligence will not
compass and achieve? Miss Ferret's were soon crowned with success, and
happily the cloud that overcast the horizon of Henbury was of that
nature which might be trumpeted to the four corners of the earth (if
indeed the round world have such convenient recesses for playing hide
and seek), without the violation of those feelings which our busy blab
professed for her _protegés_.
It was well known throughout the country that both Mr. and Mrs.
Hartland were particularly partial to children; so much so, that
whenever they appeared, the fond mothers of the neighbourhood used
constantly to ring the nursery chimes for their edification or
amusement, and many a morning call has been inconveniently protracted
to the visitors, for the purpose of "seeing the baby," whose tedious
delay after summons issued, and elaborate dress when produced, proved
the complete metamorphosis which it had undergone in the interval,
before it was considered to be fitly attired for exhibition in the
drawing-room. But Miss Ferret, happening to be in company one day when
the large family of a neighbouring curate was mentioned, remarked that
Mrs. Hartland, who never gave herself the habit of _generalizing_
in conversation, replied rather pensively, "Alas! how unequally the
gifts of Providence are distributed!"
Miss Ferret expressed herself to have felt as if she had been _shot_
when this observation fell from her friend; and it furnished a clue by
which the whole labyrinth of her secret thoughts came to be developed.
Pursuing the light which now glimmered, Miss Ferret immediately
acquiesced in the justice of the remark, and proceeded to tell of a
gentleman and lady who were the happiest people in the world, "_all
but_ having no heirs to their fine estate," and added, "They have been
married fully five years, and you may _suppose_ what their feelings
are; for we must acknowledge that it is the most natural thing in the
world to wish that one's name should not be cut off; and, as I often
say, an extinguisher put over one's grave is enough to lower one's
spirits; for the grave in itself is sufficiently gloomy in all
conscience, without putting an end to the whole _stock_, who might
live a little longer, all at a blow."
Mrs. Hartland sighed, while a faint colour was observed to glance
across her countenance. After a slight pause, she said, as though she
had often pondered the subject, "Yes, hope deferred, they say, maketh
the heart sick."
The whole mystery was now unravelled, or as Miss Ferret expressed the
same idea in her peculiar phraseology, "the cat was out of the bag;"
and it was evident that the Henbury _thorn_ stood revealed, in the
childless condition of that house. This point once established, it may
be imagined that joy was at its height, on the actual expectation of an
event, the delay of which only seemed _now_ to the grateful hearts of
Mr. and Mrs. Hartland to have been expressly ordained for the purpose
of enhancing its value. How readily we acknowledge the providence of
divine interposition when we are pleased!
But we cannot stop to moralize, it is our duty to recount; and if we
could bring our minds into full sympathy with those whose history we
are narrating, there are few subjects of sufficient importance to
alienate attention from the theme of our present consideration. The
dread of disappointment rendered Mrs. Hartland very cautious in
divulging her hopes; but at length prospects of the most gratifying
nature opened to her view, and Miss Ferret received permission to
diffuse tidings which appeared to tell the acme of human felicity.
Doctors and apothecaries, nurses and nurse-tenders, frocks, pinnafores,
cradles, and caps, tops and bottoms, goats' whey, rennet-whey,
asses'-milk, cows'-milk, and a thousand other appliances equally
interesting of this important season, which was now unequivocally
approaching, absorbed the thoughts, and occupied the conversation at
Henbury. Mrs. Hartland reclined upon a sofa, and issued her orders from
thence through the faithful Ferret, with as much pomp and ceremony as
ever hung upon the Ottoman Divan; while Mr. Hartland's anxious office
was to forestal the newspapers, seize upon the letter-bag, and prepare
every visitor by regular instruction upon the topics of their
discourse, lest the slightest imprudence in communicating the current
rumours of the day, might disturb the nervous system of his wife.
To this end, he generally took his station in an ante-room in which a
sort of probationary noviciate was performed, and people, after being
examined, admonished, and duly qualified, received admission tickets to
the presence chamber.
As the fulness of time advanced, several weighty consultations were
held, which called forth every power of taste and understanding which
the Hartlands possessed, to meet the opposite arguments which were
propounded in them. Two debates of longer and more difficult
deliberation than all preceding, were however happily adjusted to the
entire satisfaction of the parties, and the perfect reconcilement of
contending opinions. In one of these it was decreed that if a son were
to bless the parent eyes, he should be christened Algernon Robinson;
and if the soft smiles of a daughter were destined to awaken love,
rather than ambition, Melasina was to be her name. Mr. Hartland's
father had unfortunately been called Peter, Mrs. Hartland's progenitor
Jacob; and the reader will admit that two more impracticable
appellations were never unluckily brought together to perplex the
counsels of a pair who were looking forward with eager raptures to the
baptismal font, and habitually impressed at the _same time_, with
the propriety of sending family echoes to the latest posterity.
How to harmonize sounds without compromising respect was the question,
and no small exertion of skill did it require to balance the pros and
cons. Many cogent reasons were urged by Sir Roger and Lady Goodman for
the regular descent of Peter, Jacob, or both; while a hint, which gave
a climax to perplexity was thrown out by the latter, who said that she
should not think the addition of her worthy husband's name an
_unnatural_ appendage by way of compliment to him. Mrs. Hartland's rest
was broken by this harassing choice of evils. At last she resolved on
bursting her fetters, and declared the bold resolve to waive precedent,
and not in compliance with an antiquated prejudice, entail on future
generations the quaint appellations, which she determined to sacrifice
to what she considered the true interests of her son.
"The junction of sur-names," said she, "may appease the shades of his
dead grandfathers, and Goodman may bring up the rear. Whether boy or
girl, the only sounds which need be uttered shall delight the ear, and
all the rest may be smuggled away under initial letters. I am
_resolved_ on Algernon or Melasina."
Mr. Hartland was in the habit of acquiescing in the decrees of his
better half: and remembered how pleasantly his favourite Sterne has
declared that a man who might have made a flourishing figure in the
world as an Alexander might be Nicodemus'd into nothing. He therefore
gave his assent and consent to Algernon for the male sex, Melasina for
the female, and the debate was at an end.
The second dispute of magnitude which was settled about the same time,
related to sponsors. Mr. Hartland belonged to a noble house, and the
Earl of Marchdale, who held a high office under government, was his
first cousin. Those who know any thing of the world, are aware that
consanguinity to great men, unless in the nearest degrees, is more
frequently a disadvantage than the contrary. A brother cannot be left
in obscurity, and perhaps a nephew may have some chance of preferment,
but cousins are generally shaken off and made to know their distance.
Mr. Hartland's mother had once made an effort to seek for her son the
countenance and protection of his noble relative, but received such
peremptory repulse that a second experiment was never hazarded.
Times however were changed, and circumstances altered likewise. It had
reached Lord Marchdale's ears that Mr. Hartland was no longer a poor
man; and curiosity prompted him to ask where the newly acquired
property of his kinsman was situated, which led to information that it
lay in a certain county where he wished to increase his influence.
Something a kin to shame at the recollection of former rough treatment
exerted towards his relation, withheld his Lordship from offering his
congratulations on an accession of fortune which might immediately
suggest a remembrance of his former unkindness; but he formed the
benevolent design of seizing on the first convenient opportunity for
some token of conciliatory recognition of his cousin. Mr. Hartland's
marriage would have afforded an auspicious occasion, but unluckily Lord
Marchdale was making a tour on the Continent when that event took
place, and to have written an epithalamium after his return, might not
have had the desired effect.
"I should not have thanked any one for wishing _me_ joy on my nuptials,
six months after date," thought his Lordship; and acting in this
instance by the rule of doing to others, as he desired others should do
towards him, he waited--and waited not in vain. Actuated by the motives
to which we have alluded, to make more minute inquisition into the
affairs of his uncle's only son than had been his wont, he became
acquainted with the bright hopes which, like a morning in Spring, were
breaking over the destiny of one whose prosperity promised now to
transcend his own, for he was childless. Lord Marchdale therefore lost
no more time, but hastened on receiving the intelligence to write the
following epistle:
"DEAR FRANK,
"I am not one of those who advocate the perpetuation of family
feuds. Your poor father and mine never agreed, but that is no
reason why you and I should feel any hostility towards each other,
though I fear that appearances are against me. My utter inability
to serve you, when Mrs. Hartland applied to me in your behalf,
having formerly obliged me reluctantly to disappoint her wishes, I
learn now, with sincere satisfaction, that you no longer stand in
need of aid, but are enabled proudly to raise your head amongst
England's best protectors, her resident country gentlemen. I hear
also the interesting news, that your happiness is likely to
experience increase through an unexpected event; and am desirous
that the young stranger should be a bond of re-union between us. If
a boy, I wish that you may name him Algernon; and represent me at
his baptism as godfather. If Mrs. Hartland should present you with
a daughter, Lady Marchdale requests me to announce her disposition
to stand sponsor. Believe me, dear Frank,
"Very truly yours,
"MARCHDALE."
The familiar style of this letter did not impose on Mr. Hartland, who
saw through the kindliness of its contents; but it was agreed in full
conclave, that it would be imprudent in the extreme to repel this
advance; and as the possibility of succeeding to the Marchdale titles
and estates had often in secret served as foundation for air built
castles, which soothed Mrs. Hartland's solitary hours, she had already
anticipated a part of her noble connexion's petition, by resolving on
giving her child, should it prove a son, the only high sounding name in
the family. Nothing could be more flattering to maternal ambition than
the coincidence, which resolved all past solicitude into the pleasing
certainty, that the expected progeny was to be ushered into life with
due pretension. If a son, as it was earnestly prayed that the offspring
should prove, Lord Marchdale and Sir Roger Goodman were to be his
sureties; if a girl, Lady Marchdale and Lady Goodman were to perform
the like office; and Miss Ferret, of whose adhesive assiduities it was
impossible to get rid, was to be an honorary or supplemental corps of
reserve. Nothing would tempt her to abandon the honour of "standing for
the child;" and, to pacify her, Mrs. Hartland consented to her bearing
it to the font, where she hoped that her over-zealous friend might be
mistaken for a mere proxy.
All things being prepared, and the minds of all composed into
tranquillity, Mrs. Hartland felt the moment arrived which was to crown
her hopes and raise her consequence. But an event of such importance
deserves a separate Chapter, and therefore we close this. Muffle the
knocker, scatter straw round the house and offices, forbid all approach
of horse or wheel that might disturb the anxious hour, and commit the
invalid, with our blessing, to her medical attendants.