This income of mine, in which the world has suddenly become so
interested, must be calculated from the following returns of past years,
being the figures supplied privately to Phyllis:--
(1) guineas. £
1911-1912. By fees as specialist 113 By occasional papers
in Medical Journals 35
1912-1913. ditto 152 ditto 42
1913-1914. ditto 203 ditto 37
(2) My capital is invested in Ordinary Stock, and brings in anything
from £50 to £100 a year, in accordance with the varying moods of the
directors.
(3) Lastly, I have now bought, out of my earnings, the freehold of the
premises in which I carry on my practice. In making out a Balance Sheet
this item must be regarded either as a liability or as an asset
accordingly as one takes the dark or the bright view of the position.
Either I owe myself so much a year for rent of the premises, in which
case it is a liability: or else myself owes me so much for rent, in
which case it is an asset. Practically speaking it doesn't much matter,
because it is a bad debt either way.
Those amongst my (apparently) most intimate friends, who are
money-lenders, do not ask for details. They are content to assume the
worst and hope for the best. Sir Reginald Hartley and Mr. Charles
Dugmore, Assessor of Taxes, the most interested enquirers, are not,
however, money-lenders.
Sir Reginald is not naturally an inquisitive man, and his concern for
me, in spite of my frequent appearance at his table, had hitherto been
limited to my services in getting the port decanter round its circuit.
It was I who, when one evening we were doing this alone, led up to the
subject.
"Sir Reginald," said I.
He passed the port again, hoping thus to damp down my conversational
powers. I, hoping to stimulate them, helped myself.
"Well, what do you want now, my boy?" he asked reluctantly, noting my
unsatisfied air.
"I'll tell you what I should like, Sir," said I, "and that's a
father-in-law. Would you care for the job?"
Not, I think, entirely with a view to what he himself was likely to get
out of this suggestion, he asked me outright what I was worth. "I don't
think," he suggested, "that I could very well let my Phyllis marry
anyone with less than five hundred a year, eh?"
I got out paper and pencil, puckered up my brow, and worked out a sum.
"I am happy to announce," I said eventually, "that we may put my income
on the other side of that figure."