The Fleet is a very peculiar isolated kingdom, bounded on the north by the
wall to the north or north wall; on the south, by the wall to the south or
south wall; on the east, by the wall to the east or east wall; and on the
west, by the wall to the west or west wall. The manners and habits of the
natives are marked with many extraordinary peculiarities; and some of the
local customs are of an exceedingly interesting character.
The derivation of the word "Fleet" has caused many controversies, and we
believe is even now involved in much mystery, and subject to much dispute.
Some commentators have endeavoured to establish an analogy between the
words "_fleet_" and "fast," with the view of showing that these being
nearly synonymous terms, "the fleet is a corruption from the fast, or keep
_fast_." Others again contend the origin to be purely nautical, inasmuch
as this country, like the ships in war time, is mostly peopled with
_pressed men_. While a third class argue that the name was originally one
of warning, traditionally handed down from father to son by the
inhabitants of the surrounding countries (with whom this land has never
been in high favour), and that the addition of the letter _T_ renders the
phrase perfect, leaving the caution thus, _Flee-it_--now contracted and
perverted into the commonly used term of _Fleet_.
As we are only the showmen about to exhibit "the lions and the dogs," we
merely put forward these deductions, and tell our readers they are welcome
to choose "which_h_ever they please, _h_our little dears!" while we will
at once proceed to describe the manners and habits of the natives.
One great peculiarity in connexion with this strange people is, that the
inhabitants are, from the first moment of their appearance, invariably
adults; and we can positively assert the almost incredible fact, that no
_bonâ fide_ occupant of these realms was ever seen in any part of their
domain in the hands of a nurse, enveloped in the long clothes worn by many
of the infants of the surrounding nations. Like the Spartan youths, all
these people undergo a long course of training, and exceed the age of
one-and-twenty before they are deemed worthy of admission into the ranks
of these singular hordes. They have no actual sovereign, but merely two
traditionary beings, to whom they bow with most abject servility. These
imaginary potentates are always alluded to under the fearful names of
"John Doe and Richard Roe;" though they are never seen, still their edicts
are all-powerful, their commands extending to the most distant regions,
and carrying captivity and caption-fees wherever they go. These _firmans_
are entrusted to the charge of a peculiar race of beings, commonly called
officers to the sheriff. There is something exceedingly interesting in the
ceremonious attendant upon the execution of one of these potent fiats: the
manner is as follows. Having received the orders of "John Doe and Richard
Roe," they proceed to the residence of their intended captive, and with
consummate skill, like the Eastern tellers of tales, commence their
business by the repetition of some ingenious story (called in the language
of the captured, _lie_), wherein the Bumme Bayllyffe (such is their title)
artfully represents himself "as a cousin from the country," an "uncle from
town," or some near and dear long expected and anxiously-looked-for
returned-from-abroad friend. Should their endeavours fail in procuring the
desired interview, they frequently have resort to the following practice.
With the right-hand finger and thumb they open a small aperture in the
side of a species of garment, generally manufactured from drab broadcloth,
in which they encase their lower extremities, and having thrust their hand
to the very bottom of the said opening, they produce a peculiarly musical
sound by jingling various round pieces of white money, which so entrances
the feelings of the domestic with whom they are discoursing, that his eyes
become fixed upon the hand of the operater the moment the sound ceases and
it is withdrawn. The Bumme Bayllyffe then winketh his right eye, and with
great rapidity depositeth a curious-looking coin, of the value of five
shillings, in the hand of the domestic, who thereupon pointeth with his
dexter thumb over his left shoulder to a small china closet, in which the
enemy of John Doe and Richard Roe is found, his Wellington boots sticking
out of the hamper, under the straw in which the rest of his person is
deposited.
The Bumme Bayllyffe having called him loudly by his name, showeth his
writ, steppeth up, and tappeth him once gently upon the shoulder,
whereupon the ceremony is completed, and the future inmate of the Fleet
departeth with the Bumme Bayllyffe.
The first thing that attracts the attention of the captured of John Doe
and Richard Roe is the great care with which the entrance to his new
country is guarded. Four officials of the warden or minister of the said
John and Richard alternately remain in actual possession of that
interesting pass, to each of whom the new-comer submits his face and
figure for actual and earnest inspection, for the reason that should the
said new arrival by any means pass their boundary, they themselves would
suffer much disgrace and obliquy; having undergone this inspection, he
then proceeds to the interior of these strange domains.
Walls! walls!! walls!!! meet him on every side; and by some strange manner
of judging the new-comer is immediately known as such.
The costume of the natives differs widely from the usually sported
habiliments of more extended nations; caps worn by small boys in other
climes here decorated the heads of the most venerable elders, and
peculiarly-cut dressing-gowns do duty for the discarded broadcloth of a
Stultz, a Nugee, or a Willis.
The new man's conformity with the various customs of the inmates is one of
the most curious facts on record. We have been favoured with the following
table or scale by which time regulates the gradual advancement to
perfection of a genuine "Fleety":--
_First Week._--Ring; union-pin; watch; straps; clean boots; ditto shirt;
shave; and light waistcoat.
_Second Week._--Slippers in passage; no straps to boots; rub on toe; dirty
hall; fresh dickey; black vest; two days' beard.--[_Exit ring_.]
_Third Week._--Full-bosomed stock; one bracer; indication of white chalk
on seat of duck trousers; blue striped shirt; no vest; shooting jacket;
small imperial.--[_Exeunt union-pin and watch._]
_Fourth Week._--White collar; blue shirt; slippers various; boots a little
over at heel; incipient moustache; silk pocket-handkerchief round neck;
and a fortnight's splashes on trousers.
_Fifth Week._--Red ochre outline of increased whiskers, flourishing
imperial, and chevaux-de-frise moustache; dirty shirt; French cap; Jersey
over-all; one slipper and a boot; meerschaum; dressing-gown; and principal
seat at the free and easy.
_Sixth._--Everything in the "_worser_ line;" called by christian name by
their bed-maker; hold their tongues, in consideration of three weeks'
arrears, at four shillings a week; and then _all's done_, and the
inhabitant is complete.
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