["A medical contemporary (_The British Medical Journal_) asserts that
'The desire to rise early, except in those trained from youth to
outdoor pursuits, is commonly a sign, not of strength of character and
vigour of body, but of advancing age.'"--_Daily Telegraph._]
'Twas the voice of the sluggard, I heard him hooray
As he turned in his bed at the dawning of day;
"_At last_ early rising--that fraud--is found out!
Henceforth prigs will leave me alone, I've no doubt!
"They've preached at me ever since SOLOMON'S time,
And no doubt before it, in prose and in rhyme.
Yet truth _will_ prevail, and now Science hath said
That for early morning there's no place like bed!
"With their early to bed and their early to rise,
They've tortured the good, and tormented the wise.
In sermons, and spelling-books, proverbs and tracts,
And now they just find they've mistaken the facts!
"It's just like those moralists! Talk stilted bosh
For an æon or two, and then find it won't wash!
Lord! how they have stuck up their noses, the prigs,
And compared us to sloths and to somnolent pigs.
"What price now the ant, and that huge bore the bee?
Whilst our old foe, the lark, proves pure fiddle-de-dee.
Their healthy, and wealthy, and wise, and what not,
Is exploded at last; it is all tommy-rot!
"A man's _not_ a black-beetle, to find it a lark
To go crawling about chilly rooms in the dark;
And if you must rise in the gloom and the cold,
The fact only proves that _you're foolish or old!_
"No more, then, need man feel constrained in the least
To turn out like an insect, a bird, or a beast;
For Medical Science has spoken, and said
That the sluggard is right, and there's no place like bed!"
[_Curls up, and snores with a clear conscience._
* * * * *