LADY K.--Clarence, my child, my child!
JOHN.--Your ladyship needn't be alarmed; I'm a little man, my lady,
but I don't think Mr. Clarence was a-goin' for to hit me, my lady; not
before a lady, I'm sure. I suppose, sir, that you WON'T pay the boatman?
K.--No, sir, I won't pay him, nor any man who uses this sort of damned
impertinence!
JOHN.--I told Rullocks, sir, I thought it was JEST possible you
wouldn't. [Exit.]
K.--That's a nice man, that is--an impudent villain!
LADY K.--Ruined by Horace's weakness. He ruins everybody, poor
good-natured Horace!
K.--Why don't you get rid of the blackguard?
LADY K.--There is a time for all things, my dear. This man is very
convenient to Horace. Mr. Milliken is exceedingly lazy, and Howell
spares him a great deal of trouble. Some day or other I shall take
all this domestic trouble off his hands. But not yet: your poor
brother-in-law is restive, like many weak men. He is subjected to other
influences: his odious mother thwarts me a great deal.
K.--Why, you used to be the dearest friends in the world. I recollect
when I was at Eton--
LADY K.--Were; but friendship don't last for ever. Mrs. Bonnington and
I have had serious differences since I came to live here: she has a
natural jealousy, perhaps, at my superintending her son's affairs. When
she ceases to visit at the house, as she very possibly will, things will
go more easily; and Mr. Howell will go too, you may depend upon it. I am
always sorry when my temper breaks out, as it will sometimes.
K.--Won't it, that's all!
LADY K.--At his insolence, my temper is high; so is yours, my dear. Calm
it for the present, especially as regards Howell.
K.--Gad! d'you know I was very nearly pitching into him? But once,
one night in the Haymarket, at a lobster-shop, where I was with some
fellows, we chaffed some other fellows, and there was one fellah--quite
a little fellah--and I pitched into him, and he gave me the most
confounded lickin' I ever had in my life, since my brother Kicklebury
licked me when we were at Eton; and that, you see, was a lesson to me,
ma'am. Never trust those little fellows, never chaff 'em: dammy, they
may be boxers.
LADY K.--You quarrelsome boy! I remember you coming home with your
naughty head SO bruised. [Looks at watch.] I must go now to take my
drive. [Exit LADY K.]
K.--I owe a doose of a tick at that billiard-room; I shall have that
boatman dunnin' me. Why hasn't Milliken got any horses to ride? Hang
him! suppose he can't ride--suppose he's a tailor. He ain't MY tailor,
though, though I owe him a doosid deal of money. There goes mamma with
that darling nephew and niece of mine. [Enter BULKELEY]. Why haven't you
gone with my lady, you, sir? [to Bulkeley.]
BULKELEY.--My lady have a-took the pony-carriage, sir; Mrs. Bonnington
have a-took the hopen carriage and 'orses, sir, this mornin', which the
Bishop of London is 'olding a confirmation at Teddington, sir, and Mr.
Bonnington is attending the serimony. And I have told Mr. 'Owell, sir,
that my lady would prefer the hopen carriage, sir, which I like the
hexercise myself, sir, and that the pony-carriage was good enough for
Mrs. Bonnington, sir; and Mr. 'Owell was very hinsolent to me, sir; and
I don't think I can stay in the 'ouse with him.
K.--Hold your jaw, sir.