Well! matters went smoothly enough at the start. With a diamond Vanringham
dexterously cut out a pane of glass, so that we had little difficulty in
opening the window; and I climbed into a room black as a pocket, leaving
him without to act as a sentinel, since, so far as I could detect, the
house was now untenanted.
But some twenty minutes later, when I had finally succeeded in forcing the
escritoire I found in the back room upon the second story, I heard the
street door unclose. And I had my candle extinguished in that self same
instant. You can conceive that 'twas with no pleasurable anticipation I
peered into the hall, for I was fairly trapped. I saw some five or six men
of an ugly aspect, who carried among them a burden, the nature of which I
could not determine in the uncertain light. But I heaved a sigh of relief
as they bore their cargo past me, to the front room, (which opened on the
one I occupied), without apparent recognition of my presence.
"Now," thinks I, "is the time for my departure." And having already
selected the papers I had need of from the rifled desk, I was about to run
for it, when I heard a well-known voice.
"Rat the parson!" it cried; "he should have been here an hour ago. Here's
the door left open for him, endangering the whole venture, and whey-face
han't plucked up heart to come! Do some of you rogues fetch him without
delay; and do all of you meet me to-morrow at the _Mitre_, to be paid in
full for this business, before reporting to his Grace."
"Here," thinks I, "is beyond doubt a romance." And as the men tumbled
down-stairs and into the street, I resolved to see the adventure through,
by the light of those candles which were now burning in the next room.
I waited for perhaps ten minutes, during which period I was aware of divers
movements near at hand; and, judging that in any case there was but one
man's anger to be apprehended, I crept toward the intervening door and
found it luckily ajar.
So I peered through the crack into the adjoining room, and there, as I had
anticipated, discovered Lord Humphrey Degge, whom I had last seen at Lady
Culcheth's wrangling over a game of _écarté_ with the fairest antagonist
the universe could afford.
Just now my Lord was in a state of high emotion, and the cause of it was
evident when I perceived his ruffians had borne into the house a swooning
lady, whom merciful unconsciousness had rendered oblivious to her present
surroundings, and whose wrists his Lordship was vigorously slapping in the
intervals between his frequent applications to her nostrils of a flask,
which, as I more lately learned, contained sal volatile.
Here was an unlucky turn, since I had no desire to announce my whereabouts,
my business in the house being of a sort that necessitated secrecy;
whereas, upon the other hand, I could not but misdoubt my Lord's intention
toward the unknown fair was of discreditable kinship, and such as a
gentleman might not countenance with self-esteem.
Accordingly I devoted the moments during which the lady was recovering
from her swoon, to serious reflection concerning the course that I should
preferably adopt. But now, Miss came to, and, as is the custom of all
females similarly situated, rubbed her eyes and said, "Where am I?"
And when she rose from the divan I saw that 'twas my adored Dorothy.
"In the presence of your infatuated slave," says my Lord. "Ah, divine Miss
Allonby--!"
But being now aware of her deplorable circumstances, she began to weep,
and, in spite of the amorous rhetoric with which his Lordship was prompt to
comfort her, rebuked him for unmanly conduct, with sublimity and fire, and
depicted the horrors of her present predicament in terms that were both
just and elegant.
From their disjointed talk I soon determined that, Lord Humphrey's suit
being rejected by my angel, he had laid a trap for her (by bribing her
coachman, as I subsequently learned), and had so far succeeded in his
nefarious scheme that she, on leaving Lady Culcheth's, had been driven
to this house, in the conviction she rode homeward; and this course my
Lord endeavored to justify, with a certain eloquence, and attributed the
irregularity of his behavior solely to the colossal vehemence of his
affection.
His oratory, however, was of little avail, for Dorothy told him plainly
that she had rather hear the protestations of a toad than listen to his far
more nauseous flattery; and bade him at once restore her to her natural
guardians.
"_Ma charmante_," said he, "to-morrow your good step-mother may, if you
will, share with your husband the privilege of saluting Lady Humphrey
Degge; but as for Miss Allonby, I question if in the future her dearest
friends are likely to see much of her."
"What do you mean?" cries she.
"That the parson will be here directly," said he.
"Infamous!" she observes; "and is the world run mad, that these extempore
weddings should be foisted upon every woman in the Allonby connection!"
"Ah, but, my dear," he answered airily, "'twas those two fiascos which
begot my notion, and yet hearten me. For in every approved romance the
third adventurer gets the victory; so that I am, I take it, predestinate to
win where Vanringham and Rokesle failed."
She did not chop logic with him, but instead retorted in a more primitive
fashion by beginning to scream at the top of her voice.
I doubt if any man of honor was ever placed under a more great embarrass.
Yonder was the object of my devotion, exposed to all the diabolical
machinations of a heartless villain; and here was I concealed in my Lord's
bedroom, his desk broken open, and his papers in my pocket. To remain quiet
was impossible, since 'twas to expose her to a fate worse than death; yet
to reveal myself was to confess Frank Audaine a thief, and to lose her
perhaps beyond redemption.
Then I thought of the mask which I had brought in case of emergency; and,
clapping it on, resolved to brazen out the affair. Meanwhile I saw all
notions of gallantry turned topsy-turvy, for my Lord was laughing quietly,
while my adored Dorothy called aloud upon the name of her Maker.
"The neighborhood is not unaccustomed to such sounds," said he, "and I
hardly think we need fear any interruption. I must tell you, my dear
creature, you have, by an evil chance, arrived in a most evil locality, for
this quarter of the town is the devil's own country, and he is scarcely
like to make you free of it."
"O Lord, sir!" said I, and pushed the door wide open, "surely you forget
that the devil is a gentleman?"