At last I came to myself, and hastened from a place where apparently I
had nothing more to do. I first filled my pockets with gold, then firmly
secured the strings of the purse round my neck, taking care to conceal
the purse itself in my bosom. I left the park unnoticed, reached the
high road, and bent my way to the town. I was walking thoughtfully
towards the gate, when I heard a voice behind me: "Holla! young Squire!
holla! don't you hear?" I looked round--an old woman was calling after
me;--"Take care, sir, take care--you have lost your shadow!"--"Thanks,
good woman."--I threw her a piece of gold for her well-meant counsel, and
walked away under the trees.
At the gate I was again condemned to hear from the sentinel, "Where has
the gentleman left his shadow?" and immediately afterwards a couple of
women exclaimed, "Good heavens! the poor fellow has no shadow!" I began
to be vexed, and carefully avoided walking in the sun. This I could not
always do: for instance, in the Broad-street, which I was next compelled
to cross; and as ill-luck would have it, at the very moment when the boys
were being released from school. A confounded hunch-backed vagabond--I
see him at this moment--had observed that I wanted a shadow. He
instantly began to bawl out to the young tyros of the suburbs, who first
criticised me, and then bespattered me with mud: "Respectable people are
accustomed to carry their shadows with them when they go into the sun." I
scattered handfuls of gold among them to divert their attention; and,
with the assistance of some compassionate souls, sprang into a hackney
coach. As soon as I found myself alone in the rolling vehicle, I began
to weep bitterly. My inward emotion suggested to me, that even as in
this world gold weighs down both merit and virtue, so a shadow might
possibly be more valuable than gold itself; and that, as I had sacrificed
my riches to my integrity on other occasions, so now I had given up my
shadow for mere wealth; and what ought, what could become of me?
I continued still sadly discomposed, when the coach stopped before the
old tavern. I was shocked at the thought of again entering that vile
garret. I sent for my baggage, took up the miserable bundle with
contempt, threw the servants some pieces of gold, and ordered to be
driven to the principal hotel. The house faced the north, so I had
nothing to fear from the sun. I dismissed the driver with gold, selected
the best front room, and locked myself in as soon as possible.
And how do you imagine I employed myself? Oh! my beloved Chamisso, I
blush to confess it even to you. I drew forth the luckless purse from my
bosom, and impelled by a sort of madness which burned and spread within
me like a furious conflagration, I shook out gold, and gold, and gold,
and still more gold;--strewed it over the floor, trampled on it, and made
it tinkle, and feasting my weak senses on the glitter and the sound, I
added pile to pile, till I sunk exhausted on the golden bed. I rolled
about and wallowed in delicious delirium. And so the day passed by, and
so the evening. My door remained unopened, and night found me still
reposing on the gold, when sleep at length overcame me.
Then I dreamed of you. I fancied I was standing close to the glass door
of your little apartment, and saw you sitting at your work-table, between
a skeleton and a parcel of dried plants. Haller, Humboldt, and Linnaeus
lay open before you;--on your sofa were a volume of Goethe, and _The
Magic Ring_. {37} I looked at you for a long time, then at everything
around you, and then at you again; but you moved not--you breathed
not--you were dead.
I awoke: it seemed to be yet early--my watch had stopped;--I felt as if I
had been bastinadoed--yet both hungry and thirsty, for since the previous
morning I had eaten nothing. With weariness and disgust I pushed away
from me the gold, which but a little time before had satiated my foolish
heart: I now in my perplexity knew not how to dispose of it. But it
could not remain there. I tried to put it again into the purse--no; none
of my windows opened upon the sea. I was obliged to content myself by
dragging it with immense labour and difficulty to a large cupboard, which
stood in a recess, where I packed it up. I left only a few handfuls
lying about. When I had finished my labour, I sat down exhausted in an
arm-chair, and waited till the people of the house began to stir. I
ordered breakfast, and begged the landlord to be with me as soon as
practicable.
With this man I arranged the future management of my household. He
recommended to me for my personal servant a certain _Bendel_, whose
honest and intelligent countenance instantly interested me. It was he,
who from that moment accompanied me through life with a sympathizing
attachment, and shared with me my gloomy destiny. I passed the whole day
in my apartments with servants out of place, shoemakers, tailors, and
shopkeepers; I provided myself with all necessaries, and bought large
quantities of jewels and precious stones, merely to get rid of some of my
piles of gold; but it seemed scarcely possible to diminish the heap.
Meanwhile I contemplated my situation with most anxious doubts. I dared
not venture one step from my door, and at evening ordered forty
wax-lights to be kindled in my saloon, before I left the dark chamber. I
thought with horror of the dreadful scene with the schoolboys, and
determined, whatever it might cost, once more to sound public opinion.
The moon, at this season, illumined the night. Late in the evening I
threw a wide cloak around me, pulled down my hat over my eyes, and glided
out of the house trembling like a criminal. I walked first along the
shadows of the houses to a remote open place; I then abandoned their
protection, stepped out into the moonshine, resolving to learn my destiny
from the lips of the passers-by.
But spare me, my friend, the painful repetition of what I was condemned
to undergo! The deepest pity seemed to inspire the fairer sex; but my
soul was not less wounded by this than by the contumely of the young, and
the proud disdain of the old, especially of those stout and well-fed men,
whose dignified shadows seemed to do them honour. A lovely, graceful
maiden, apparently accompanying her parents, who seemed not to look
beyond their own footsteps, accidentally fixed her sparkling eyes upon
me. She obviously started as she remarked my shadowless figure; she hid
her beautiful face beneath her veil, hung down her head, and passed
silently on.
I could bear it no longer. Salt streams burst forth from my eyes, and
with a broken heart I hurried tremblingly back into darkness. I was
obliged to grope along by the houses, in order to feel my steps secure,
and slowly and late I reached my dwelling.
That night was a sleepless one. My first care at daybreak was to order
the man in the grey coat to be everywhere sought for. Perchance I might
be lucky enough to discover him--and oh! what bliss if he as well as I
repented of our foolish bargain. I sent for Bendel; he seemed both apt
and active. I described to him minutely the man who held in his
possession that treasure, without which life was but a torment to me. I
told him the time, the place where I had seen him; particularized to him
all the persons who could assist his inquiries; and added, that he should
especially ask after a Dollond's telescope, a gold embroidered Turkish
carpet, a superb tent, and also the black riding horses; whose history,--I
did not state how,--was closely connected with that of the unintelligible
man, whom nobody seemed to notice, and whose appearance had destroyed the
peace and happiness of my life.
When I had done, I brought out as much gold as I was able to carry. I
laid jewels and precious stones to a still greater amount upon the pile.
"Bendel," I said, "this levels many a path, and makes many a difficult
thing easy; be not sparing, you know I am not; but go and rejoice your
master with the information on which his only hopes are built."
He went--he returned--and returned late and sorrowful. None of the
merchant's servants, none of his guests--he had spoken to all--knew
anything about the man in the grey coat. The new telescope was there,
but they were all ignorant whence it came. The tent and the carpet were
extended on the same hill; the lackeys boasted of their master's
magnificence: but none knew from what place these new valuables had come.
They had administered to his pleasures; and he did not disturb his rest
to inquire into their origin. Their horses were in the stalls of the
young men who had rode them; and they lauded the generosity of the
merchant, who had that day requested they would keep them as presents.
Such was the light that Bendel threw upon this extraordinary history, and
for this fruitless result received my grateful thanks. I beckoned
gloomily to him that he should leave me alone. But he resumed: "I have
informed you, sir, of everything connected with the affair which most
interests you. I have also a message to deliver, which was given to me
this morning early, by a person whom I met at the door, while I was going
out on the business in which I have been so unfortunate. His own words
were, "Say to Mr. Peter Schlemihl, he will see me here no more, as I am
going to cross the sea; and a favourable wind beckons me to the haven.
But after a year and a day I shall have the honour to seek him out, and
perhaps to propose to him another arrangement which may then be to his
liking. Remember me most obediently to him, and assure him of my
thanks." I asked him who he was: and he replied, that you knew.
"What was the man's appearance?" I cried, full of forebodings. And
Bendel described the man in the grey coat, feature by feature, word for
word, precisely as he had depicted him, when inquiring about him.
"Miserable mortal!" exclaimed I, wringing my hands, "it was he! it was he
himself!" He looked as if scales had fallen from his eyes. "Yes, it was
he, it was indeed he!" he cried out in agony; "and I, silly, deluded one,
I did not know him--I did not know him--I have betrayed my master!"
He broke out into the loudest reproaches against himself. He wept
bitterly; his despair could not but excite my pity. I ministered
consolation to him; assured him again and again that I did not doubt his
fidelity, and sent him instantly to the haven, to follow the strange
man's steps if possible. But, on that very morning, many vessels which
had been kept by contrary winds back in port, had put to sea, all
destined to distant lands and other climes; the grey man had disappeared
trackless as a shade.