"Our boat has one sail,
And the helmsman is pale;
A bold pilot, I trow,
Who should follow us now,"
Shouted he.
As he spoke, bolts of death
Speck'd their path o'er the sea.
"And fear'st thou, and fear'st thou?
And see'st thou, and hear'st thou?
And drive we not free
O'er the terrible sea,
I and thou?"
SHELLEY.
The reader may think I was over fastidious when I inform him that I
cannot describe the disgust I felt at the licentious impurity of manners
which I found in the midshipmen's berth; for although my connection with
Eugenia was not sanctioned by religion or morality, it was in other
respects pure, disinterested, and, if I may use the expression,
patriarchal, since it was unsullied by inconstancy, gross language, or
drunkenness. Vicious I was, and I own it to my shame; but at least my
vice was refined by Eugenia, who had no fault but one.
As soon as I had settled myself in my new abode, with all the comfort
that circumstances would permit, I wrote a long letter to Eugenia, in
which I gave an exact account of all that had passed since our
separation; I begged her to come down to Portsmouth and see me; told her
to go to the "Star and Garter", as the house nearest the water-side, and
consequently where I should be the soonest out of sight after I had
landed. Her answer informed me that she should be there on the
following day.
The only difficulty now was to get on shore. No eloquence of mine, I
was sure, would induce the first lieutenant to relax his Cerberus-like
guard over me. I tried the experiment, however; begged very hard "to be
allowed to go on shore to procure certain articles absolutely necessary
to my comfort."
"No, no," said Mr Talbot, "I am too old a hand to be caught that way.
I have my orders, and I would not let my father go on shore, if the
captain ordered me to keep him on board; and I tell you, in perfect good
humour, that out of this ship you do not go, unless you swim on shore,
and that I do not think you will attempt. Here," continued he, "to
prove to you there is no ill-will on my part, here is the captain's
note."
It was short, sweet, and complimentary as related to myself, and was as
follows:--
"Keep that damned young scamp, Mildmay, on board."
"Will you allow me then," said I, folding up the note, and returning it
to him without any comment, "will you allow me to go on shore under the
charge of the sergeant of marines?"
"That," said he, "would be just as much an infringement of my orders as
letting you go by yourself. You cannot go on shore, sir."
These last words he uttered in a very peremptory manner, and, quitting
the deck, left me to my own reflections and my own resources.
Intercourse by letter between Eugenia and myself was perfectly easy; but
that was not all I wanted. I had promised to meet her at nine o'clock
in the evening. It was now sunset; the boats were all hoisted up; no
shore-boat was near, and there was no mode of conveyance but _a la
nage_, which Mr Talbot himself had suggested only as proving its utter
impracticability; but he did not know me half so well at the time as he
did afterwards.
The ship lay two miles from the shore, the wind was from the south-west,
and the tide moving to the eastward; so that, with wind and tide both in
my favour, I calculated on fetching South Sea Castle. After dark I took
my station in the fore-channels. It was the 20th of March, and very
cold. I undressed myself, made all my clothes up into a very tight
bundle, and fastened them on my hat, which retained its proper position;
then, lowering myself very gently into the water, like another Leander,
I struck out to gain the arms of my Hero.
Before I had got twenty yards from the ship, I was perceived by the
sentinel, who, naturally supposing I was a pressed man endeavouring to
escape, hailed me to come back. Not being obeyed, the officer of the
watch ordered him to fire at me. A ball whizzed over my head, and
struck the water between my hands. A dozen more followed, all of them
tolerably well directed; but I struck out, and the friendly shades of
night, and increasing distance from the ship, soon protected me. A
waterman, seeing the flashes and hearing the reports of the muskets,
concluded that he might chance to pick up a fare. He pulled towards me,
I hailed him, and he took me in, before I had got half a quarter of a
mile from the ship.
"I doubt whether you would ever have fetched the shore on that tack, my
lad," said the old man. "You left your ship two hours too soon: you
would have met the ebb-tide running strong out of the harbour; and the
first thing you would have made, if you could have kept up your head
above water, would have been the Ower's."
While the old man was pulling and talking, I was shivering and dressing,
and made no reply; but begged him to put me on shore on the first part
of South Sea Beach he could land at, which he did. I gave him a guinea,
and ran, without stopping, into the garrison, and down Point-Street, to
the "Star and Garter," where I was received by Eugenia, who, with great
presence of mind, called me her "_dear, dear_ husband!" in the hearing
of the people of the house. My wet clothes attracted her notice. I
told her what I had done to obtain an interview with her. She shuddered
with horror;--my teeth chattered with cold. A good fire, a hot and not
very weak glass of brandy-and-water, together with her tears, smiles,
and caresses, soon restored me. The reader will, no doubt, here recall
to mind the less agreeable remedy applied to me when I ducked the usher,
and one recommended also by myself in similar cases, as having
experienced its good effects: how much more I deserved it on this
occasion than the former one, need not be mentioned.
So sweet was this stolen interview, that I vowed I was ready to
encounter the same danger on the succeeding night. Our conversation
turned on our future prospects; and, as our time was short, we had much
to say.
"Frank," said the poor girl, "before we meet again, I shall probably be
a mother; and this hope alone alleviates the agony of separation. If I
have not you, I shall, at least, be blest with your image. Heaven grant
that it may be a boy, to follow the steps of his father, and not a girl,
to be as wretched as her mother. You, my dear Frank, are going on
distant and dangerous service--dangers increased tenfold by the natural
ardour of your mind: we may never meet again, or if we do, the period
will be far distant. I ever have been, and ever will be constant to
you, till death; but I neither expect, nor will allow of the same
declaration on your part. Other scenes, new faces, youthful passions,
will combine to drive me for a time from your thoughts, and when you
shall have attained maturer years, and a rank in the navy equal to your
merits and your connections, you will marry in your own sphere of
society; all these things I have made up my mind to, as events that must
take place. Your person I know I cannot have--but do not, do not
discard me from your mind. I shall never be jealous as long as I know
you are happy, and still love your unfortunate Eugenia. Your child
shall be no burthen to you until it shall have attained an age at which
it may be put out in the world: then, I know you will not desert it, for
the sake of its mother. Dear Frank, my heart is broken; but you are not
to blame; and if you were, I would die imploring blessings on your
head." Here she wept bitterly.
I tried every means in my power to comfort and encourage this
fascinating and extraordinary girl; I forget neither vows nor promises,
which, at the time, I fully intended to perform. I promised her a
speedy, and I trusted, a happy meeting.
"God's will be done," said she, "come what will. And now, my dearest
Frank, farewell--never again endanger your life and character for me as
you did last night. I have been blest in your society, and even with
the prospect of misery before me, cannot regret the past."
I tenderly embraced her, jumped into a wherry, at Point, and desired the
waterman to take me on board the _I---_, at Spithead. The first
lieutenant was on deck when I came up the side.
"I presume it was you whom we fired at last night?" said he, smiling.
"It was, sir," said I; "absolute necessity compelled me to go on shore,
or I should not have taken such an extraordinary mode of conveyance."
"Oh, with all my heart," said the officer; "had you told me you intended
to have swum on shore, I should not have prevented you; I took you for
one of the pressed men, and directed the marines to fire at you."
"The pressed men are extremely obliged to you," thought I.
"Did you not find it devilish cold?" continued the lieutenant, in a
strain of good humour, which I encouraged by my manner of answering.
"Indeed I did, sir," said I.
"And the jollies fired tolerably well, did they?"
"They did, sir; would they had had a _better mark_."
"I understand you," said the lieutenant; "but as you have not served
your time, the vacancy would be of no use to you. I must report the
affair to the captain, though I do not think he will take any notice of
it; he is too fond of enterprise himself to check it in others.
Besides, a lady is always a justifiable object, but we hope soon to show
you some higher game."
The captain came on board shortly after, and took no notice of my having
been absent without leave; he made some remark as he glanced his eye at
me, which I afterwards learned was in my favour. In a few days we
sailed, and arrived in a few more in Basque Roads. The British fleet
was at anchor outside the French ships moored in a line off the Isle
d'Aix. The ship I belonged to had an active part in the work going on,
and most of us saw more than we chose to speak of; but as much ill-blood
was made on that occasion, and one or two very unpleasant courts-martial
took place, I shall endeavour to confine myself to my own personal
narrative, avoiding anything that may give offence to the parties
concerned. Some days were passed in preparing the fire-ships; and on
the night of the 11th April, 1809, everything being prepared for the
attempt to destroy the enemy's squadron, we began the attack. A more
daring one was never made; and if it partly failed of success, no fault
could be imputed to those who conducted the enterprise: they did all
that man could do.
The night was very dark, and it blew a strong breeze directly in upon
the Isle d'Aix, and the enemy's fleet. Two of our frigates had been
previously so placed as to serve as beacons to direct the course of the
fire-ships. They each displayed a clear and brilliant light; the
fire-ships were directed to pass between these; after which, their
course up to the boom which guarded the anchorage was clear, and not
easily to be mistaken.
I solicited and obtained permission to go on board one of the explosion
vessels that were to precede the fire-ships. They were filled with
layers of shells and powder, heaped one upon another: the quantity on
board of each vessel was enormous. Another officer, three seamen, and
myself, were all that were on board of her. We had a four-oared gig, a
small, narrow thing (nick-named by the sailors a "coffin"), to make our
escape in.
Being quite prepared, we started. It was a fearful moment; the wind
freshened, and whistled through our rigging, and the night was so dark
that we could not see our bowsprit. We had only our foresail set; but
with a strong flood-tide and a fair wind, with plenty of it, we passed
between the advanced frigates like an arrow. It seemed to me like
entering the gates of hell. As we flew rapidly along, and our ships
disappeared in the intense darkness, I thought of Dante's inscription
over the portals:--"You who enter here, leave hope behind."
Our orders were to lay the vessel on the boom which the French had
moored to the outer anchors of their ships of the line. In a few
minutes after passing the frigates, we were close to it; our boat was
towing astern, with three men in it--one to hold the rope ready to let
go, one to steer, and one to bail the water out, which, from our rapid
motion, would otherwise have swamped her. The officer who accompanied
me steered the vessel, and I held the match in my hand. We came upon
the boom with a horrid crash; he put the helm down, and laid her
broadside to it. The force of the tide acting on the hull, and the wind
upon the foresail, made her heel gunwale to, and it was with difficulty
I could keep my legs; at this moment the boat was very near being
swamped alongside. They had shifted her astern, and there the tide had
almost lifted her over the boom; by great exertion they got her clear,
and lay upon their oars: the tide and the wind formed a bubbling short
sea, which almost buried her. My companion then got into the boat,
desiring me to light the port-fire and follow.
If ever I felt the sensation of fear, it was after I had lighted this
port-fire, which was connected with the train. Until I was fairly in
the boat, and out of the reach of the explosion--which was inevitable,
and might be instantaneous--the sensation was horrid. I was standing on
a mine; any fault in the port-fire, which sometimes will happen; any
trifling quantity of gunpowder lying in the interstices of the deck,
would have exploded the whole in a moment: had my hand trembled, which I
am proud to say it did not, the same might have occurred. Only one
minute and a half of port-fire was allowed. I had therefore no time to
lose. The moment I had lit it, I laid it down very gently, and then
jumped into the gig, with a nimbleness suitable to the occasion. We
were off in a moment: I pulled the stroke oar, and I never plied with
more zeal in all my life: we were not two hundred yards from her when
she exploded.
A more terrific and beautiful sight cannot be conceived; but we were not
quite enough at our ease to enjoy it. The shells flew up in the air to
a prodigious height, some bursting as they rose, and others as they
descended. The shower fell about us, but we escaped without injury. We
made but little progress against the wind and tide; and we had the
pleasure to run the gauntlet among all the other fire-ships, which had
been ignited, and bore down on us in flames fore and aft. Their rigging
was hung with Congreve rockets; and as they took fire they darted
through the air in every direction, with an astounding noise, looking
like large fiery serpents.
We arrived safely on board, and reported ourselves to the captain, who
was on the hammocks, watching the progress of the fire-ships. One of
these had been lighted too soon; her helm had not been lashed and she
had broached to, close to our frigate. I had had quite enough of
adventure for that night, but was fated to have a little more.
"Mr Mildmay," said the captain, "you seem to like the fun; jump into
your gig again, take four fresh hands" (thinks I, a fresh midshipman
would not be amiss), "get on board of that vessel and put her head the
right way."
I did not like this job at all; the vessel appeared to be in flames from
the jib-boom to the topsail; and I own I preferred enjoying the honours
I had already gained, to going after others so very precarious; however,
I never made a difficulty, and this was no time for exceptions to my
rule. I touched my hat, said, "Ay, ay, sir;" sang out for four
volunteers, and, in an instant, I had fifty. I selected four, and
shoved off on my new expedition.
As I approached the vessel, I could not at first discover any part that
was not tenanted by the flames, the heat of which, at the distance of
twenty or thirty feet, was far from pleasant, even in that cold night.
The weather quarter appeared to be clearest of flames, but they burst
out with great fury from the cabin windows. I contrived, with great
difficulty, to reach the deck, by climbing up that part which was not
actually burning, and was followed by one of the sailors. The mainmast
was on fire, and the flakes of burning canvas from the boom mainsail
fell on us like a snow-storm; the end of the tiller was burnt to
charcoal, but on the midship part of it I passed a rope, and assisted by
the sailor, moved the helm, and got her before the wind.
While I was thus employed, I could not help thinking of my type, Don
Juan. I was nearly suffocated before I had completed my work. I shoved
off again, and away she flew before the wind. "I don't go with you this
time," said I; "_J'ai ete_," as the Frenchman said, when he was invited
to an English foxhunt.
I was as black as a negro when I returned on board, and dying with
thirst. "Very well done, Mildmay," said the captain; "did you find it
warm?" I pointed to my mouth, for it was so parched that I could not
speak, and ran to the water-cask, where I drank as much as would have
floated a canoe. The first thing I said, as soon as I could speak, was
"Damn that fire-ship, and the lubber that set her on fire."
The next morning the French squadron was seen in a very disastrous
state; they had cut their cables, and ran on shore in every direction,
with the exception of the flag-ships of the admiral and rear-admiral,
which lay at their anchors, and could not move till high-water; it was
then first quarter flood, so that they had five good hours to remain. I
refer my readers to the court-martial for a history of these events:
they have also been commented on, with more or less severity, by
contemporary writers. I shall only observe, that had the captains of
His Majesty's ships been left to their own judgment, much more would
have been attempted; but with what success I do not presume to say.
My captain, as soon as he could see his mark, weighed, ran in, and
engaged the batteries, while he also directed his guns at the bottoms of
the enemy's ships, as they lay on shore on their beam-ends. Isle d'Aix
gave us a warm reception. I was on the forecastle, the captain of which
had his head taken clean off by a cannon-ball; the captain of the ship
coming forward at the same moment, only said, "Poor fellow! throw him
overboard; there is no time for a coroner's inquest now." We were a
considerable time engaging the batteries and the vessels near them,
without receiving any assistance from our ships.
While this was going on, a very curious instance of muscular action
occurred: a lad of eighteen years of age was on the forecastle, when a
shot cut away the whole of his bowels, which were scattered over another
midshipman and myself, and nearly blinded us. He fell--and, after lying
a few seconds, sprang suddenly on his feet, stared us horridly in the
face, and fell down dead. The spine had not been divided; but with that
exception, the lower was separated from the upper part of the body.
Some of our vessels, seeing us so warmly engaged, began to move up to
our assistance. One of our ships of the line came into action in such
gallant trim that it was glorious to behold. She was a beautiful ship,
in what we call "high kelter;" she seemed a living body, conscious of
her own superior power over her opponents, whose shot she despised, as
they fell thick and fast about her, whilst she deliberately took up an
admirable position for battle; and having furled her sails, and squared
her yards, as if she had been at Spithead, her men came down from aloft,
went to their guns, and opened such a fire on the enemy's ships and
batteries as would have delighted the great Nelson himself, could he
have been present. The results of this action are well-known, and do
not need repeating here; it was one of the winding-up scenes of the war.
The French, slow to believe their naval inferiority, now submitted in
silence. Our navy had done its work; and from that time, the brunt of
the war fell on the army.
The advocates of fatalism or predestination might adduce a strong
illustration of their doctrine as evinced in the death of the captain of
one of the French ships destroyed. This officer had been taken out of
his ship by one of the boats of our frigate; but, recollecting that he
had left on board nautical instruments of great value, he requested our
captain to go with him in the gig, and bring them away before the ship
was burned. They did go, and the boat being very small, they sat very
close side by side, on a piece of board not much more than two feet
long, which, for want of proper seats, was laid across the stern of the
boat. One of the French ships was burning at the time; her guns went
off as fast as the fire reached them; and a chance shot took the board
from under the two captains: the English captain was not hurt; but the
splinters entered the body of the French captain and killed him. Late
in the evening, the other French line-of-battle ships that were ashore
were set fire to, and a splendid illumination they made: we were close
to them, and the splinters and fragments of wreck fell on board of us.
Among our killed was a Dutch boatswain's mate: his wife was on board,
and the stick which he was allowed to carry in virtue of his office, he
very frequently applied to the shoulders of his helpmate, in requital
for certain instances of infidelity; nor, with all my respect for the
fair sex, can I deny that the punishment was generally deserved. When
the cannon-ball had deprived her of her lawful protector and the
guardian of her honour, she sat by the side of his mangled remains,
making many unavailing efforts to weep; a tear from one eye coursed down
her cheek, and was lost in her mouth; one from the other eye started at
the same time, but, for want of nourishment, halted on her cheekbone,
where, collecting the smoke and gunpowder which surrounded us, it formed
a little black peninsula and isthmus on her face, and gave to her heroic
grief a truly mourning tear. This proof of conjugal affection she would
not part with until the following day, when having seen the last sad
rites paid to the body of her faithful Achilles, she washed her face,
and resumed her smiles, nor was she ungrateful to the ship's company for
their sympathy.
We were ordered up to Spithead with despatches, and long before we
arrived she had made the sergeant of marines the happiest of men, under
a promise of marriage at Kingston church before we sailed on our next
cruise, which promise was most honourably performed.
A midshipman's vacancy having occurred on board the frigate, the captain
offered it to me. I gladly accepted of it; and while he was in the
humour, I asked him for a week's leave of absence; this he also granted,
adding, at the same time, "No more French leave, if you please." I need
not say that not an hour of this indulgence was intended either for my
father or even the dear Emily. No, Eugenia, the beloved, in her
interesting condition, claimed my undivided care. I flew to G---, found
the troop; but she, alas! had left it a fortnight before, and had gone
no one knew whither.
Distracted with this fatal news, I sank into a chair almost senseless,
when one of the actresses brought me a letter: I knew the hand; it was
that of Eugenia. Rushing into an empty parlour, I broke the seal, and
read as follows:--
"Believe me, my dearest Mildmay, nothing but the most urgent necessity
could induce me to cause you the affliction which I know you will feel
on reading these lines. Circumstances have occurred since we parted,
that not only render it necessary that I should quit you, but also
that we should not meet again for some time; and that you should be
kept in ignorance of my place of abode. Our separation, though long,
will not, I trust, be eternal; but years may elapse before we meet
again. The sacrifice is great to me; but your honour and prosperity
demand it. I have the same ardent love towards you that I ever had;
and for your sake will love and cherish your child. I am supported in
_this_ my trial, by a hope of our being again united. God in heaven
bless you, and prosper all your undertakings. Follow up your
profession. I shall hear and have constant intelligence of all your
motions, and I shall pray to Heaven to spare your life amidst all the
dangers that your courage will urge you to encounter. Farewell! and
forget not her who never has you one moment from her thoughts.
"EUGENIA.
"PS. You may at times be short of cash; I know you are very
thoughtless in that respect. A letter to the subjoined address will
always be attended to, and enable you to command whatever may be
necessary for your comfort. Pride might induce you to reject this
offer; but remember it is Eugenia that offers: and if you love her as
she thinks you do, you will accept it from her."
Here was mystery and paradox in copious confusion. "Obliged by
circumstances to leave me--to conceal the place of her retirement"--yet
commanding not only pecuniary resources for herself, but offering me any
sum I might require! I retired to my bed; but sleep forsook me, nor did
I want it. I had too much to think of, and no clue to solve my doubts.
I prayed to Heaven for her welfare, vowed eternal constancy and at
length fell asleep. The next morning I took leave of my quondam
associates, and returned to Portsmouth, neither wishing to see my
father, my family, or even the sweet Emily. It however occurred to me
that the same agent who could advance money could forward a letter; and
a letter I wrote, expressing all I felt. No answer was returned; but as
the letter never came back, I was convinced it was received, and
occasionally sent others, the contents of which my readers will, no
doubt, feel obliged to me for suppressing, love-letters being of all
things in the world the most stupid, except to the parties concerned.
As I was not to see my Eugenia, I was delighted to hear that we were
again to be sent on active service. The Scheldt expedition was
preparing, and our frigate was to be in the advance; but our gallant and
favourite captain was not to go with us; an acting captain was
appointed, and every exertion was used to have the ship ready. The town
in the mean time was as crowded with soldiers as Spithead and the
harbour was with transports. Late in July we sailed, having two
gunboats in tow, which we were ordered to man. I applied for and
obtained the command of one of them, quite certain that I should see
more service, and consequently have more amusement, than if I remained
on board the frigate. We convoyed forty or fifty transports, containing
the cavalry, and brought them all safe to an anchor off Cadsand.
The weather was fine, and the water smooth; not a moment was lost in
disembarking the troops and horses; and I do not recollect ever having
seen, either before or since, a more pleasing sight. The men were first
on shore with their saddles and bridles: the horses were then lowered
into the water in running slings, which were slipped clear off them in a
moment; and as soon as they found themselves free, they swam away for
the shore, which they saluted with a loud neigh as soon as they landed.
In the space of a quarter of a mile we had three or four hundred horses
in the water, all swimming for the shore at the same time; while their
anxious riders stood on the beach, waiting their arrival. I never saw
so novel or picturesque a sight.
I found the gun-boat service very hard. We were stationed off Batz, and
obliged to be constantly on the alert; but when Flushing surrendered we
had more leisure, and we employed it in procuring some articles for our
table, to which we had been too long strangers. Our money had been
expended in the purchase of champagne and claret, in which articles we
were no economists; consequently few florins could be spared for the
purchase of poultry and butcher's meat; but then these articles were to
be procured, by the same means which had given us the island of
Walcheren, namely, powder and shot. The country people were very
churlish, and not at all inclined to barter; and as we had nothing to
give in exchange, we avoided useless discussion. Turkeys, by us
short-sighted mortals, were often mistaken for pheasants; cocks and hens
for partridges; tame ducks and geese for wild; in short, such was our
hurry and confusion--leaping ditches, climbing dikes, and fording
swamps--that Buffon himself would never have known the difference
between a goose and a peacock. Our game-bags were as capacious as our
consciences, and our aim as good as our appetites.
The peasants shut all their poultry up in their barns, and very
liberally bestowed all their curses upon us. Thus all our supplies were
cut off, and foraging became at least a source of difficulty, if not of
danger. I went on shore with our party, put a bullet into my
fowling-piece, and, as I thought, shot a deer; but on more minute
inspection, it proved to be a four months' calf. This was an accident
that might have happened to any man. The carcass was too heavy to carry
home, so we cut it in halves, not fore and aft down the backbone, as
your stupid butchers do, but made a short cut across the loins, a far
more compendious and portable method than the other. We marched off
with the hind legs, loins, and kidney, having first of all buried the
head and shoulders in the field, determined to call and take it away the
following night.
We were partly seen, and severely scrutinised in our action by a
neighbouring gun-boat, whose crew were no doubt as hungry as ourselves;
they got hold of one of our men, who, like a fool, let the cat out of
the bag, when a pint of grog got into it. The fellow hinted where the
other half lay, and these _unprincipled rascals_ went after it, fully
resolved to appropriate it to themselves; but they were outwitted, as
they deserved to be for their roguery. The farmer to whom the calf
belonged had got a hint of what was done, and finding that we had buried
one half of the calf, procured a party of soldiers ready to take
possession of us when we should come to fetch it away; accordingly, the
party who went from the other gun-boat after dark, having found out the
spot, were very busy disinterring their prey, when they were surprised,
taken prisoners, and marched away to the British camp, leaving the body
behind.
We, quite unconscious of what was done, came soon after, found our veal,
and marched off with it. The prisoners were in the meantime sent on
board the flag-ship, with the charge of robbery strongly preferred
against them; indeed, _flagrante delicto_ was proved. In vain they
protested that they were not the slayers, but only went in search of
what others had killed: the admiral, who was a kind-hearted man, said
that that was a very good story, but desired them "not to tell lies to
old rogues," and ordered them all under arrest, at the same time giving
directions for a most rigid scrutiny into the larder of the other
gun-boat, with a view, if possible, to discover the remains of the calf.
This we had foreseen would happen, so we put it into one of the
sailor's bags, and sank it with a lead-line in three fathoms of water,
where it lay till the inspection was over, when we dressed it, and made
an excellent dinner, drinking success to His Majesty's arms by land and
sea.
Whether I had been intemperate in food or libation I know not, but I was
attacked with the Walcheren fever, and was sent home in a line-of-battle
ship; and, perhaps, as Pangloss says, it was all for the best; for I
knew I could not have left off my inveterate habits, and it would have
been very inconvenient to me, and distressing to my friends, to have
ended my brilliant career, and stopped these memoirs, at the beginning
of the second and most interesting volume, by hanging the Author up,
like a scarecrow, under the superintendence of the rascally
provost-marshal, merely for catering on the land of a Walcheren farmer.
Moreover, the Dutch were unworthy of liberty, as their actions proved--
to begrudge a few fowls, or a fillet of veal, to the very men who came
to rescue them from bondage;--and then their water, too, who ever drank
such stuff? For my part, I never tasted it when I could get anything
better. As to their nasty swamps and fogs, quite good enough for such
croaking fellows as they are, what could induce an Englishman to live
among them, except the pleasure of killing Frenchmen or shooting game?
Deprive us of these pursuits, which the surrender of Flushing
effectually did, and Walcheren with its ophthalmia and its agues, was no
longer a place for a gentleman. Besides, I plainly saw that if there
ever had been any intention of advancing to Antwerp, the time was now
gone by; and as the French were laughing at us, and I never liked to be
made a butt of, particularly by such chaps as these, I left the scene of
our sorrows and disgraces without regret.
The farewell of Voltaire came into my mind. "_Adieu, canaux, canards,
et canaille_," which might be rendered into English thus:--"Good bye,
dikes, ducks, and Dutchmen." So I returned to my father's house, to be
nursed by my sister, and to astonish the neighbours with the history of
our wonderful achievements.