A man left his umbrella in the stand in a hotel recently, with a card
bearing the following inscription attached to it: "This umbrella belongs
to a man who can deal a blow of 250 pounds weight. I shall be back in
ten minutes." On returning to seek his property he found in its place a
card thus inscribed: "This card was left here by a man who can run
twelve miles an hour. I shall not be back."
A reputable citizen had left four umbrellas to be repaired. At noon he
had luncheon in a restaurant, and as he was departing he absent-mindedly
started to take an umbrella from a hook near his hat.
"That's mine, sir," said a woman at the next table.
He apologized and went out. When he was going home in a street car with
his four repaired umbrellas, the woman he had seen in the restaurant got
in. She glanced from him to his umbrellas and said:
"I see you had a good day."
"That's a swell umbrella you carry."
"Isn't it?"
"Did you come by it honestly?"
"I haven't quite figured out. It started to rain the other day and I
stepped into a doorway to wait till it stopped. Then I saw a young
fellow coming along with a nice large umbrella, and I thought if he was
going as far as my house I would beg the shelter of his timbershoot. So
I stepped out and asked: 'Where are you going with that umbrella, young
fellow?' and he dropped the umbrella and ran."
One day a man exhibited a handsome umbrella. "It's wonderful how I make
things last," he exclaimed. "Look at this umbrella, now. I bought it
eleven years ago. Since then I had it recovered twice. I had new ribs
put in in 1910, and last month I exchanged it for a new one in a
restaurant. And here it is--as good as new."