The three degrees in medical treatment--Positive, ill; comparative,
pill; superlative, bill.
"What caused the coolness between you and that young doctor? I thought
you were engaged."
"His writing is rather illegible. He sent me a note calling for 10,000
kisses."
"Well?"
"I thought it was a prescription, and took it to the druggist to be
filled."
A tourist while traveling in the north of Scotland, far away from
anywhere, exclaimed to one of the natives: "Why, what do you do when any
of you are ill? You can never get a doctor."
"Nae, sir," replied Sandy. "We've jist to dee a naitural death."
When the physician gives you medicine and tells you to take it, you take
it. "Yours not to reason why; yours but to do and die."
Physicians, of all men, are most happy: whatever good success soever
they have, the world proclaimeth; and what faults they commit, the earth
covereth.--_Quarles_.
This is the way that physicians mend or end us,
Secundum artem: but although we sneer
In health--when ill, we call them to attend us,
Without the least propensity to jeer.
--_Byron_.
_See also_ Bills.