GIFTS

When Lawrence Barrett's daughter was married Stuart Robson sent a check

for $5000 to the bridegroom. The comedian's daughter, Felicia Robson,

who attended the wedding conveyed the gift.

"Felicia," said her father upon her return, "did you give him the

check?"

"Yes, Father," answered the daughter.

"What did he say?" asked Robson.

"He didn't say anything," replied Miss Felicia, "but he shed tears."

"How long did he cry?"

"Why Father, I didn't time him. I should say, however, that he wept

fully a minute."

"Fully a minute," mused Robson. "Why, Daughter, I cried an hour after I

signed it."

A church house in a certain rural district was sadly in need of repairs.

The official board had called a meeting of the parishioners to see what

could be done toward raising the necessary funds. One of the wealthiest

and stingiest of the adherents of that church arose and said that he

would give five dollars, and sat down.

Just then a bit of plastering fell from the ceiling and hit him squarely

upon the head. Whereupon he jumped up, looked confused and said:

"I--er--I meant I'll give fifty dollars!" then again resumed his seat.

Toaster's Handbook: Jokes, Stories, and Quotations · 第 457 / 1074 题