"Who gave ye th' black eye, Jim?"
"Nobody give it t' me; I had t' fight fer it."--_Life_.
"There! You have a black eye, and your nose is bruised, and your coat is
torn to bits," said Mamma, as her youngest appeared at the door. "How
many times have I told you not to play with that bad Jenkins boy?"
"Now, look here, Mother," said Bobby, "do I look as if we'd been
playing?"
Two of the leading attorneys of Memphis, who had been warm friends for
years, happened to be opposing counsel in a case some time ago. The
older of the two was a man of magnificent physique, almost six feet
four, and built in proportion, while the younger was barely five feet
and weighed not more than ninety pounds.
In the course of his argument the big man unwittingly made some remark
that aroused the ire of his small adversary. A moment later he felt a
great pulling and tugging at his coat tails. Looking down, he was
greatly astonished to see his opponent wildly gesticulating and dancing
around him.
"What on earth are you trying to do there, Dudley?" he asked.
"By Gawd, suh, I'm fightin', suh!"
An Irishman boasted that he could lick any man in Boston, yes,
Massachusetts, and finally he added New England. When he came to, he
said: "I tried to cover too much territory."
"Dose Irish make me sick, alvays talking about vat gread fighders dey
are," said a Teutonic resident of Hoboken, with great contempt. "Vhy, at
Minna's vedding der odder night dot drunken Mike O'Hooligan butted in,
und me und mein bruder, und mein cousin Fritz und mein frient Louie
Hartmann--vhy, we pretty near kicked him oudt of der house!"