SANDY (with brightening face)--"Oh, I'm nae particular, doctor! Anything
you've got with ye."
Here's to the girls of the American shore,
I love but one, I love no more,
Since she's not here to drink her part,
I'll drink her share with all my heart.
A well-known Scottish architect was traveling in Palestine recently,
when news reached him of an addition to his family circle. The happy
father immediately provided himself with some water from the Jordan to
carry home for the christening of the infant, and returned to Scotland.
On the Sunday appointed for the ceremony he duly presented himself at
the church, and sought out the beadle in order to hand over the precious
water to his care. He pulled the flask from his pocket, but the beadle
held up a warning hand, and came nearer to whisper:
"No the noo, sir; no the noo! Maybe after the kirk's oot!"
When President Eliot of Harvard was in active service as head of the
university, reports came to him that one of his young charges was in the
habit of absorbing more liquor than was good for him, and President
Eliot determined to do his duty and look into the matter.
Meeting the young man under suspicion in the yard shortly after
breakfast one day the president marched up to him and demanded, "Young
man, do you drink?"
"Why, why, why," stammered the young man, "why, President Eliot, not so
early in the morning, thank you."
WIFE (on auto tour)--"That fellow back there said there is a road-house
a few miles down the road. Shall we stop there?"