"Did you punish our son for throwing a lump of coal at Willie Smiggs?"
asked the careful mother.
"I did," replied the busy father. "I don't care so much for the Smiggs
boy, but I can't have anybody in this family throwing coal around like
that."
"Live within your income," was a maxim uttered by Mr. Carnegie on his
seventy-sixth birthday. This is easy; the difficulty is to live without
it.--_Satire_.
"You say your jewels were stolen while the family was at dinner?"
"No, no! This is an important robbery. Our dinner was stolen while we
were putting on our jewels."
A grouchy butcher, who had watched the price of porterhouse steak climb
the ladder of fame, was deep in the throes of an unusually bad grouch
when a would-be customer, eight years old, approached him and handed him
a penny.
"Please, mister, I want a cent's worth of sausage."
Turning on the youngster with a growl, he let forth this burst of good
salesmanship:
"Go smell o' the hook!"
TOM--"My pa is very religious. He always bows his head and says
something before meals."
DICK--"Mine always says something when he sits down to eat, but he don't
bow his head."