He writes against the Minister, by whose Instigation he is arrested, and
moves himself by habeas corpus into the Fleet.
My lady having prolonged her stay beyond the period of a common visit,
and repeated her protestations in the most frank and obliging manner,
took her leave of our adventurer, who promised to pay his respects to
her in a few days at her own house. Meanwhile, he resumed his task; and
having finished a most severe remonstrance against Sir Steady, not
only with regard to his private ingratitude, but also to his
maladministration of public affairs, he sent it to the author of a
weekly paper, who had been long a professed reformer in politics, and it
appeared in a very few days, with a note of the publisher, desiring the
favour of further correspondence with the author.
The animadversions contained in this small essay were so spirited and
judicious, and a great many new lights thrown upon the subject with such
perspicuity, as attracted the notice of the public in an extraordinary
manner, and helped to raise the character of the paper in which it was
inserted. The minister was not the last who examined the performance,
which, in spite of all his boasted temper, provoked him to such a
degree, that he set his emissaries at work, and by dint of corruption,
procured a sight of the manuscript in Peregrine's own handwriting, which
he immediately recognised; but, for further confirmation of his opinion,
he compared it with the two letters which he had received from our
adventurer. Had he known the young gentleman's talents for declamation
were so acute, perhaps he would never have given him cause to complain,
but employed him in the vindication of his own measures; nay, he might
still have treated him like some other authors whom he had brought over
from the opposition, had not the keenness of this first assault
incensed him to a desire of revenge. He, therefore, no sooner made
this discovery, than he conveyed his directions to his dependent, the
receiver-general, who was possessed of Pickle's notes. Next day, while
our author stood within a circle of his acquaintance, at a certain
coffee-house, holding forth with great eloquence upon the diseases of
the state, he was accosted by a bailiff, who, entering the room with
five or six followers, told him aloud that he had a writ against him for
twelve hundred pounds, at the suit of Mr. Ravage Gleanum.
The whole company were astonished at this address, which did not fail to
discompose the defendant himself, who, as it were instinctively, in the
midst of his confusion, saluted the officer across the head with
his cane; in consequence of which application, he was surrounded and
disarmed in an instant by the gang, who carried him off to the next
tavern in the most opprobrious manner. Nor did one of the spectators
interpose in his behalf, or visit him in his confinement with the
least tender of advice or assistance; such is the zeal of coffee-house
friendship. This stroke was the more severe upon our hero, as it was
altogether unexpected; for he had utterly forgot the debt for which
he was arrested. His present indignation was, however, chiefly kindled
against the bailiff, who had done his office in such a disrespectful
manner; and the first use he made of his recollection in the house to
which they conducted him, was to chastise him for the insolence and
indecency of his behaviour. This task he performed with his bare fists,
every other weapon being previously conveyed out of his reach; and
the delinquent underwent his discipline with surprising patience and
resignation, asking pardon with great humility, and protesting before
God, that he had never willingly and wittingly used any gentleman with
ill manners, but had been commanded to arrest our adventurer according
to the express direction of the creditor, on pain of forfeiting his
place.
By this declaration Peregrine was appeased, and, out of a delirium of
passion, waked to all the horrors of reflection. All the glory of his
youth was now eclipsed, all the blossoms of his hope were blasted,
and he saw himself doomed to the miseries of a jail, without the least
prospect of enlargement, except in the issue of his lawsuit, of which he
had, for some time past, grown less and less confident every day. What
would become of the unfortunate, if the constitution of the mind did
not permit them to bring one passion into the field against another?
passions that operate in the human breast, like poisons of a different
nature, extinguishing each other's effect. Our hero's grief reigned in
full despotism, until it was deposed by revenge, during the predominancy
of which he considered everything which had happened as a circumstance
conducive to its gratification. “If I must be prisoner for life,” said
he to himself, “if I must relinquish all my gay expectations, let me at
least have the satisfaction of clanking my chains so as to interrupt
the repose of my adversary; and let me search in my own breast for that
peace and contentment, which I have not been able to find in all the
scenes of my success. In being detached from the world, I shall be
delivered from folly and ingratitude, as well as exempted from
an expense, which I should have found it very difficult, if not
impracticable, to support; I shall have little or no temptation
to misspend my time, and more undisturbed opportunity to earn my
subsistence, and prosecute revenge. After all, a jail is the best tub to
which a cynic philosopher can retire.”
In consequence of these comfortable reflections, he sent a letter to Mr.
Crabtree, with an account of his misfortune, signifying his resolution
to move himself immediately into the Fleet, and desiring that he would
send him some understanding attorney of his acquaintance, who would
direct him into the steps necessary to be taken for that purpose. The
misanthrope, upon the receipt of this intimation, sent in person to a
lawyer, whom he accompanied to the spunging-house whither the prisoner
had by this time retired. Peregrine was, under the auspices of his
director, conducted to the judges' chamber, where he was left in the
custody of a tipstaff; and, after having paid for a warrant of habeas
corpus, by him conveyed to the Fleet, and delivered to the care of the
warden.
Here he was introduced to the lodge, in which he was obliged to
expose himself a full half-hour to the eyes of all the turnkeys and
door-keepers, who took an accurate survey of his person, that they might
know him again at first sight; and then he was turned loose into the
place called the master's side, having given a valuable consideration
for that privilege. This is a large range of building, containing some
hundreds of lodging-rooms for the convenience of the prisoners, who pay
so much per week for that accommodation. In short, this community is
like a city detached from all communication with the neighbouring parts,
regulated by its own laws, and furnished with peculiar conveniences for
the use of the inhabitants. There is a coffee-house for the resort of
gentlemen, in which all sorts of liquors are kept, and a public kitchen,
where any quantity of meat is sold at a very reasonable rate, or any
kind of provision boiled and roasted gratis, for the poor prisoners.
Nay, there are certain servants of the public, who are obliged to go to
market, at the pleasure of individuals, without fee or reward from those
who employ them. Nor are they cooped up, so as to be excluded from
the benefit of fresh air, there being an open area, of a considerable
extent, adjacent to the building, on which they may exercise themselves
in walking, skittles, bowls, and a variety of other diversions,
according to the inclination of each.
Our adventurer being admitted a denizen of this community, found himself
bewildered in the midst of strangers, who, by their appearance, did not
at all prepossess him in their favour; and, after having strolled about
the place with his friend Cadwallader, repaired to the coffee-house,
in order to be further informed of the peculiar customs which it was
necessary for him to know. There, while he endeavoured to pick up
intelligence from the bar-keeper, he was accosted by a person in
canonicals, who very civilly asked if he was a new-comer. Being answered
in the affirmative, he gave him the salutation of welcome to the
society, and, with great hospitality, undertook to initiate him in the
constitutions of the brotherhood. This humane clergyman gave him to
understand, that his first care ought to be that of securing a lodging;
telling him there was a certain number of apartments in the prison let
at the same price, though some were more commodious than others;
and that when the better sort became vacant, by the removal of their
possessors, those who succeeded in point of seniority had the privilege
of occupying the empty tenements preferable to the rest of the
inhabitants, howsoever respectable they might otherwise be. That, when
the jail was very much crowded, there was but one chamber allotted for
two lodgers; but this was not considered as any great hardship on the
prisoners; because, in that case, there was always a sufficient number
of males, who willingly admitted the females to a share in their
apartments and beds. Not but the time had been, when this expedient
would not answer the occasion; because, after a couple had been
quartered in every room, there was a considerable residue still
unprovided with lodging; so that, for the time being, the last-comers
were obliged to take up their habitation in Mount Scoundrel, an
apartment most miserably furnished, in which they lay promiscuously,
amidst filth and vermin, until they could be better accommodated in due
course of rotation.
Peregrine, hearing the description of this place, began to be very
impatient about his night's lodging; and the parson, perceiving his
anxiety, conducted him, without loss of time, to the warden, who
forthwith put him in possession of a paltry chamber, for which he agreed
to pay half a crown a week. This point being settled, his director gave
him an account of the different methods of eating, either singly, in a
mess, or at an ordinary, and advised him to choose the last, as the most
reputable, offering to introduce him next day to the best company in the
Fleet, who always dined together in public.
Pickle having thanked this gentleman for his civilities, and promised
to be governed by his advice, invited him to pass the evening at his
apartment; and, in the meantime, shut himself up with Crabtree, in order
to deliberate upon the wreck of his affairs. Of all his ample fortune
nothing now remained but his wardrobe, which was not very sumptuous,
about thirty guineas in cash, and the garrison, which the misanthrope
counselled him to convert into ready money for his present subsistence.
This advice, however, he absolutely rejected, not only on account of his
having already bestowed it upon Hatchway during the term of his natural
life, but also with a view of retaining some memorial of the commodore's
generosity. He proposed, therefore, to finish in this retreat the
translation which he had undertaken, and earn his future subsistence by
labour of the same kind. He desired Cadwallader to take charge of his
movables, and send to him such linen and clothes as he should have
occasion for in his confinement. But, among all his difficulties,
nothing embarrassed him so much as his faithful Pipes, whom he could no
longer entertain in his service. He knew Tom had made shift to pick up
a competency in the course of his ministration; but that reflection,
though it in some measure alleviated, could not wholly prevent the
mortification he should suffer in parting with an affectionate adherent,
who was by this time become as necessary to him as one of his own
members, and who was so accustomed to live under his command and
protection, that he did not believe the fellow could reconcile himself
to any other way of life.
Crabtree, in order to make him easy on that score, offered to adopt him
in the room of his own valet, whom he would dismiss; though he observed,
that Pipes had been quite spoiled in our hero's service. But Peregrine
did not choose to lay his friend under that inconvenience, knowing that
his present lacquey understood and complied with all the peculiarities
of his humour, which Pipes would never be able to study or regard; he
therefore determined to send him back to his shipmate Hatchway,
with whom he had spent the fore part of his life. These points being
adjusted, the two friends adjourned to the coffee-house, with a view of
inquiring into the character of the clergyman to whose beneficence our
adventurer was so much indebted. They learned he was a person who had
incurred the displeasure of the bishop in whose diocese he was settled,
and, being unequal in power to his antagonist, had been driven to the
Fleet, in consequence of his obstinate opposition; though he still
found means to enjoy a pretty considerable income, by certain irregular
practices in the way of his function, which income was chiefly consumed
in acts of humanity to his fellow-creatures in distress.
His eulogium was scarce finished, when he entered the room, according to
appointment with Peregrine, who ordering wine and something for supper
to be carried to his apartment, the triumvirate went thither; and
Cadwallader taking his leave for the night, the two fellow-prisoners
passed the evening very sociably, our hero being entertained by his new
companion with a private history of the place, some particulars of which
were extremely curious. He told him, that the person who attended them
at supper, bowing with the most abject servility, and worshipping them
every time he opened his mouth, with the epithets of your lordship and
your honour, had, a few years before, been actually a captain in
the guards; who, after having run his career in the great world, had
threaded every station in their community, from that of a buck of
the first order, who swaggers about the Fleet in a laced coat, with a
footman and w--, to the degree of a tapster, in which he was now
happily settled. “If you will take the trouble of going into the cook's
kitchen,” said he, “you will perceive a beau metamorphosed into a
turnspit; and there are some hewers of wood and drawers of water in
this microcosm who have had forests and fishponds of their own. Yet,
notwithstanding such a miserable reverse of fortune, they are neither
objects of regard nor compassion, because their misfortunes are the
fruits of the most vicious extravagance, and they are absolutely
insensible of the misery which is their lot. Those of our
fellow-sufferers, who have been reduced by undeserved losses, or the
precipitation of inexperienced youth, never fail to meet with the most
brotherly assistance, provided they behave with decorum, and a due
sense of their unhappy circumstances. Nor are we destitute of power to
chastise the licentious, who refuse to comply with the regulations
of the place, and disturb the peace of the community with riot and
disorder. Justice is here impartially administered by a court of equity,
consisting of a select number of the most respectable inhabitants, who
punish all offenders with equal judgment and resolution, after they have
been fairly convicted of the crimes laid to their charge.”
The clergyman having thus explained the economy of the place, as well as
the cause of his own confinement, began to discover signs of curiosity
touching our hero's situation; and Pickle, thinking he could do no less
for the satisfaction of a man who had treated him in such a hospitable
manner, favoured him with a detail of the circumstances which produced
his imprisonment; at the same time gratifying his resentment against
the minister, which delighted in recapitulating the injuries he had
received. The parson, who had been prepossessed in favour of our youth
at first sight, understanding what a considerable part he had acted on
the stage of life, felt his veneration increase; and, pleased with the
opportunity of introducing a stranger of his consequence to the club,
left him to his repose, or rather to ruminate on an event which he had
not as yet seriously considered.
I might here, in imitation of some celebrated writers, furnish out a
page or two, with the reflections he made upon the instability of human
affairs, the treachery of the world, and the temerity of youth; and
endeavour to decoy the reader into a smile, by some quaint observation
of my own, touching the sagacious moraliser: but, besides that I look
upon this practice as an impertinent anticipation of the peruser's
thoughts, I have too much matter of importance upon my hands, to give
the reader the least reason to believe that I am driven to such paltry
shifts, in order to eke out the volume. Suffice it then to say,
our adventurer passed a very uneasy night, not only from the thorny
suggestions of his mind, but likewise from the anguish of his body,
which suffered from the hardness of his couch, as well as from the
natural inhabitants thereof, that did not tamely suffer his intrusion.
In the morning he was waked by Pipes, who brought upon his shoulder
a portmanteau filled with necessaries, according to the direction of
Cadwallader; and, tossing it down upon the floor, regaled himself with a
quid, without the least manifestation of concern. After some pause, “You
see, Pipes,” said his master, “to what I have brought myself.” “Ey, ey,”
answered the valet, “once the vessel is ashore, what signifies talking?
We must bear a hand to tow her off, if we can. If she won't budge for
all the anchors and capstans aboard, after we have lightened her, by
cutting away her masts, and heaving our guns and cargo overboard, why
then, mayhap a brisk gale of wind, a tide, or current setting from
shore, may float her again in the blast of a whistle. Here is two
hundred and ten guineas by the tale in this here canvas bag; and upon
this scrap of paper--no, avast--that's my discharge from the parish
for Moll Trundle--ey, here it is--an order for thirty pounds upon the
what-d'ye-call-'em in the city; and two tickets for twenty-five and
eighteen, which I lent, d'ye see, to Sam Studding to buy a cargo of
rum, when he hoisted the sign of the commodore at St. Catherine's.” So
saying, he spread his whole stock upon the table for the acceptance of
Peregrine; who, being very much affected with this fresh instance of his
attachment, expressed his satisfaction at seeing he had been such a good
economist, and paid his wages up to that very day. He thanked him for
his faithful services, and, observing that he himself was no longer in a
condition to maintain a domestic, advised him to retire to the garrison,
where he would be kindly received by his friend Hatchway, to whom he
would recommend him in the strongest terms.
Pipes looked blank at this unexpected intimation, to which he replied,
that he wanted neither pay nor provision, but only to be employed as a
tender; and that he would not steer his course for the garrison,
unless his master would first take his lumber aboard. Pickle, however,
peremptorily refused to touch a farthing of the money, which he
commanded him to put up, and Pipes was so mortified at his refusal,
that, twisting the notes together, he threw them into the fire without
hesitation, crying, “D-- the money!” The canvas bag with its contents
would have shared the same fate, had not Peregrine started up, and
snatching the paper from the flames, ordered his valet to forbear, on
pain of being banished for ever from his sight. He told him that, for
the present, there was a necessity for his being dismissed, and he
discharged him accordingly; but, if he would go and live quietly
with the lieutenant, he promised, on the first favourable turn of his
fortune, to take him again into his service. In the meantime he gave him
to understand, that he neither wanted, nor would make use of his money,
which he insisted upon his pocketing immediately, on pain of forfeiting
all title to his favour.
Pipes was very much chagrined at these injunctions, to which he made
no reply; but, sweeping the money into his bag, stalked off in silence,
with a look of grief and mortification, which his countenance had never
exhibited before. Nor was the proud heart of Pickle unmoved upon the
occasion; he could scarce suppress his sorrow in the presence of Pipes,
and, soon as he was gone, it vented itself in tears.
Having no great pleasure in conversing with his own thoughts, he dressed
himself with all convenient despatch, being attended by one of the
occasional valets of the place, who had formerly been a rich mercer in
the city; and, this operation being performed, he went to breakfast
at the coffee-house, where he happened to meet with his friend the
clergyman and several persons of genteel appearance, to whom the doctor
introduced him as a new messmate. By these gentlemen he was conducted to
a place where they spent the forenoon in playing at fives, an exercise
in which our hero took singular delight; and about one o'clock a court
was held, for the trial of two delinquents, who had transgressed the
laws of honesty and good order. The first who appeared at the bar was
an attorney, accused of having picked a gentleman's pocket of his
handkerchief. And the fact being proved by incontestable evidence, he
received sentence. In consequence of which, he was immediately carried
to the public pump, and subjected to a severe cascade of cold water.
This cause being discussed, they proceeded to the trial of the other
offender, who was a lieutenant of a man-of-war, indicted for a riot,
which he had committed in company with a female, not yet taken, against
the laws of the place, and the peace of his fellow-prisoners. The
culprit had been very obstreperous, and absolutely refused to obey the
summons, with many expressions of contempt and defiance against the
authority of the court; upon which the constables were ordered to bring
him to the bar, vi et armis; and he was accordingly brought before the
judge, after having made a most desperate resistance with a hanger, by
which one of the officers was dangerously wounded. This outrage was such
an aggravation of his crime, that the court would not venture to decide
upon it, but remitted him to the sentence of the warden; who, by virtue
of his dictatorial power, ordered the rioter to be loaded with irons,
and confined in the strong room, which is a dismal dungeon, situated
upon the side of the ditch, infested with toads and vermin, surcharged
with noisome damps, and impervious to the least ray of light.
Justice being done upon these criminals, our adventurer and his company
adjourned to the ordinary, which was kept at the coffee-house; and he
found, upon inquiry, that his messmates consisted of one officer, two
underwriters, three projectors, an alchemist, an attorney, a parson, a
brace of poets, a baronet, and a knight of the Bath. The dinner,
though not sumptuous, nor very elegantly served up, was nevertheless
substantial, and pretty well dressed. The wine was tolerable, and all
the guests as cheerful as if they had been utter strangers to calamity;
so that our adventurer began to relish the company, and mix in the
conversation, with that sprightliness and ease which were peculiar to
his disposition. The repast being ended, the reckoning paid, and part
of the gentlemen withdrawn to cards, or other avocations, those who
remained, among whom Peregrine made one, agreed to spend the afternoon
in conversation over a bowl of punch; and the liquor being produced,
they passed the time very socially in various topics of discourse,
including many curious anecdotes relating to their own affairs. No man
scrupled to own the nature of the debt for which he was confined, unless
it happened to be some piddling affair, but, on the contrary, boasted
of the importance of the sum, as a circumstance that implied his
having been a person of consequence in life; and he who made the most
remarkable escapes from bailiffs, was looked upon as a man of superior
genius and address.
Among other extraordinary adventures of this kind, none was more
romantic than the last elopement achieved by the officer; who told them
he had been arrested for a debt of two hundred pounds, at a time when he
could not command as many pence, and conveyed to the bailiff's house,
in which he continued a whole fortnight, moving his lodgings higher and
higher, from time to time, in proportion to the decay of his credit;
until, from the parlour, he had made a regular ascent to the garret.
There, while he ruminated on his next step, which would have been to the
Marshalsea, and saw the night come on, attended with hunger and cold,
the wind began to blow, and the tiles of the house rattled with the
storm. His imagination was immediately struck with the idea of escaping
unperceived, amidst the darkness and noise of the tempest, by creeping
out of the window of his apartment, and making his way over the tops
of the adjoining houses. Glowing with this prospect, he examined the
passage, which, to his infinite mortification, he found grated with iron
bars on the outside; but even this difficulty did not divert him from
his purpose. Conscious of his own strength, he believed himself able to
make a hole through the roof, which seemed to be slender and crazy; and,
on this supposition, he barricaded the door with the whole furniture of
the room; then setting himself to work with a poker, he in a few minutes
effected a passage for his hand, with which he gradually stripped off
the boards and tiling, so as to open a sallyport for his whole body,
through which he fairly set himself free, groping his way towards the
next tenement. Here, however, he met with an unlucky accident. His hat
being blown off his head, chanced to fall into the court just as one
of the bailiff's followers was knocking at the door; and this myrmidon,
recognizing it, immediately gave the alarm to his chief, who,
running up-stairs to the garret, forced open the door in a twinkling,
notwithstanding the precautions which the prisoner had taken, and, with
his attendant, pursued the fugitive through his own track. “After this
chase had continued some time,” said the officer, “to the imminent
danger of all three, I found my progress suddenly stopped by a skylight,
through which I perceived seven tailors sitting at work upon a board.
Without the least hesitation, or previous notice, I plunged among them
with my backside foremost. Before they could recollect themselves from
the consternation occasioned by such a strange visit, I told them my
situation, and gave them to understand that there was no time to be
lost. One of the number, taking the hint, led me instantly down-stairs,
and dismissed me at the street door; while the bailiff and his follower,
arriving at the breach, were deterred from entering by the brethren of
my deliverer, who, presenting their shears, like a range of chevaux de
frise, commanded them to retire, on pain of immediate death. And the
catchpole, rather than risk his carcase, consented to discharge the
debt, comforting himself with the hope of making me prisoner again.
There, however, he was disappointed. I kept snug, and laughed at his
escape-warrant, until I was ordered abroad with the regiment, when I
conveyed myself in a hearse to Gravesend, where I embarked for Flanders;
but, being obliged to come over again on the recruiting service, I was
nabbed on another score. And all the satisfaction my first captor has
been able to obtain, is a writ of detainer, which, I believe, will fix
me in this place, until the parliament, in its great goodness, shall
think proper to discharge my debts by a new act of insolvency.”
Everybody owned, that the captain's success was equal to the hardiness
of his enterprise, which was altogether in the style of a soldier; but
one of the merchants observed, that he must have been a bailiff of small
experience, who would trust a prisoner of that consequence in such an
unguarded place. “If the captain,” said he, “had fallen into the hands
of such a cunning rascal as the fellow that arrested me, he would not
have found it such an easy matter to escape; for the manner in which I
was caught is perhaps the most extraordinary that ever was practised
in these realms. You must know, gentlemen, I suffered such losses by
insuring vessels during the war, that I was obliged to stop payment,
though my expectations were such as encouraged me to manage one
branch of business, without coming to an immediate composition with my
creditors, and, in short, I received consignments from abroad as usual,
that I might not be subject to the visits of those catchpoles, I never
stirred abroad; but, turning my first floor into a warehouse, ordered
all my goods to be hoisted up by a crane fixed to the upper story of my
house. Divers were the stratagems practised by those ingenious ferrets,
with a view of decoying me from the walls of my fortification. I
received innumerable messages from people, who wanted to see me at
certain taverns, upon particular business. I was summoned into the
country, to see my own mother, who was said to be at the point of
death. A gentlewoman, one night, was taken in labour on my threshold. At
another time I was disturbed with the cry of murder in the street; and
once I was alarmed by a false fire. But, being still upon my guard, I
baffled all their attempts, and thought myself quite secure from their
invention, when one of those bloodhounds, inspired, I believe, by the
devil himself, contrived a snare by which I was at last entrapped. He
made it his business to inquire into the particulars of my traffic; and,
understanding that, among other things, there were several chests of
Florence entered at the custom house on my behalf, he ordered himself
to be enclosed in a box of the same dimensions, with air-holes in the
bottom, for the benefit of breathing, and marked upon the cover; and,
being conveyed to my door in a cart, among other goods, was, in his
turn, hoisted up to my warehouse, where I stood with a hammer, in order
to open the chests, that I might compare the contents with the invoice.
You may guess my surprise and consternation, when, upon uncovering the
box, I saw a bailiff rearing up his head, like Lazarus from the grave,
and heard him declare that he had a writ against me for a thousand
pounds. Indeed, I aimed the hammer at his head, but, in the hurry of my
confusion, missed my mark; before I could repeat the blow, he started
up with great agility, and executed his office in sight of several
evidences whom he had assembled in the street for that purpose; so that
I could not possibly disentangle myself from the toil without incurring
an escape-warrant, from which I had no protection. But, had I known
the contents of the chest, by all that's good! I would have ordered my
porter to raise it up as high as the crane would permit, and then have
cut the rope by accident.”
“That expedient,” said the knight with the red ribbon, “would have
discouraged him from such hazardous attempts for the future, and would
have been an example in terrorem of all his brethren. The story puts me
in mind of a deliverance achieved by Tom Hackabout, a very stout, honest
fellow, an old acquaintance of mine, who had been so famous for
maiming bailiffs, that another gentleman having been ill-used at a
spunging-house, no sooner obtained his liberty, than, with a view of
being revenged upon the landlord, he, for five shillings, bought one of
Tom's notes, which sold at a very large discount, and, taking out a writ
upon it, put it into the hands of the bailiff who had used him ill. The
catchpole, after a diligent search, had an opportunity of executing the
writ upon the defendant, who, without ceremony, broke one of his arms,
fractured his skull, and belaboured him in such a manner, that he lay
without sense or motion on the spot. By such exploits, this hero became
so formidable, that no single bailiff would undertake to arrest him;
so that he appeared in all public places untouched. At length, however,
several officers of the Marshalsea court entered into a confederacy
against him; and two of the number, attended by three desperate
followers, ventured to arrest him one day in the Strand, near
Hungerford-market. He found it impossible to make resistance, because
the whole gang sprung upon him at once, like so many tigers, and
pinioned his arms so fast, that he could not wag a finger. Perceiving
himself fairly overpowered, he desired to be conducted forthwith to
jail, and was stowed in a boat accordingly; by the time they had
reached the middle of the river, he found means to overset the wherry
by accident, and every man, disregarding the prisoner, consulted his own
safety. As for Hackabout, to whom that element was quite familiar, he
mounted astride upon the keel of the boat, which was uppermost, and
exhorted the bailiffs to swim for their lives; protesting before God,
that they had no other chance to be saved.
“The watermen were immediately taken up by some of their own friends,
who, far from yielding any assistance to the catchpoles, kept aloof, and
exulted in their calamity. In short, two of the five went to the bottom,
and never saw the light of God's sun, and the other three, with
great difficulty, saved themselves by laying hold on the rudder of a
dung-barge, to which they were carried by the stream, while Tom,
with great deliberation, swam across to the Surrey shore. After this
achievement, he was so much dreaded by the whole fraternity, that they
shivered at the very mention of his name; and this character, which
some people would think an advantage to a man in debt, was the greatest
misfortune that could possibly happen to him; because no tradesman would
give him credit for the least trifle, on the supposition that he could
not indemnify himself in the common course of law.”
The parson did not approve of Mr. Hackabout's method of escaping,
which he considered as a very unchristian attempt upon the lives of his
fellow-subjects. “It is enough,” said he, “that we elude the laws of our
country, without murdering the officers of justice. For my own part, I
can lay my hand upon my heart, and safely say, that I forgive from
my soul the fellow by whom I was made a prisoner, although the
circumstances of his behaviour were treacherous, wicked, and profane.
You must know, Mr. Pickle, I was one day called into my chapel, in order
to join a couple in the holy bands of matrimony; and, my affairs being
at that time so situated, as to lay me under apprehensions of an arrest,
I cautiously surveyed the man through a lattice which was made for that
purpose, before I would venture to come within his reach. He was clothed
in a seaman's jacket and trousers, and had such an air of simplicity in
his countenance, as divested me of all suspicion. I therefore, without
further scruple, trusted myself in his presence, began to exercise
the duty of my function, and had actually performed one half of the
ceremony, when the supposed woman, pulling out a paper from her bosom,
exclaimed, with a masculine voice, 'Sir, you are my prisoner; I have got
a writ against you for five hundred pounds.' I was thunderstruck at this
declaration, not so much on account of my own misfortune, which, thank
Heaven, I can bear with patience and resignation, as at the impiety of
the wretch, first, in disguising such a worldly aim under the cloak of
religion; and, secondly, in prostituting the service, when there was no
occasion for so doing, his design having previously taken effect. Yet I
forgive him, poor soul! because he knew not what he did; and I hope you,
Sir Simple, will exert the same Christian virtue towards the man by whom
you were likewise overreached.”
“Oh! d-- the rascal,” cried the knight; “were I his judge, he should
be condemned to flames everlasting. A villain! to disgrace me in such
a manner, before almost all the fashionable company in town.” Our hero
expressing a curiosity to know the particulars of this adventure, the
knight gratified his desire, by telling him, that one evening, while
he was engaged in a party of cards, at a drum in the house of a certain
lady of quality, he was given to understand by one of the servants, that
a stranger, very richly dressed, was just arrived in a chair, preceded
by five footmen with flambeaux, and that he refused to come upstairs,
until he should be introduced by Sir Simple. “Upon this notice,”
continued the knight, “I judged it was some of my quality friends; and,
having obtained her ladyship's permission to bring him up, went down to
the hall, and perceived a person, whom, to the best of my recollection,
I had never seen before. However, his appearance was so magnificent,
that I could not harbour the least suspicion of his true quality; and,
seeing me advance, he saluted me with a very genteel bow, observing,
that though he had not the honour of my acquaintance, he could not
dispense with waiting upon me, even on that occasion, in consequence of
a letter which he had received from a particular friend. So saying, he
put a paper into my hand, intimating that he had got a writ against
me for ten thousand pounds, and that it would be my interest to submit
without resistance, for he was provided with a guard of twenty men,
who surrounded the door in different disguises, determined to secure me
against all opposition. Enraged at the scoundrel's finesse, and trusting
to the assistance of the real footmen assembled in the hall, 'So you are
a rascally bailiff,' said I, 'who have assumed the garb of a gentleman,
in order to disturb her ladyship's company. Take this fellow, my lads,
and roll him in the kennel. Here are ten guineas for your trouble.'
These words were no sooner pronounced, than I was seized, lifted up,
placed in a chair, and carried off in the twinkling of an eye; not but
that the servants of the house, and some other footmen, made a motion
towards my rescue, and alarmed all the company above. But the bailiff
affirming with undaunted effrontery, that I was taken up upon an affair
of state, and so many people appearing in his behalf, the countess would
not suffer the supposed messenger to be insulted; and he carried me to
the county jail without further let or molestation.”