Peregrine delivers his Letters of Recommendation at London, and returns
to the Garrison, to the unspeakable joy of the Commodore and his whole
Family.
Now that our hero found himself on English ground, his heart dilated
with the proud recollection of his own improvement since he left his
native soil. He began to recognise the interesting ideas of his tender
years; he enjoyed, by anticipation, the pleasure of seeing his friends
in the garrison, after an absence of eighteen months; and the image
of his charming Emily, which other less worthy considerations had
depressed, resumed the full possession of his breast. He remembered,
with shame, that he had neglected the correspondence with her brother,
which he himself had solicited, and in consequence of which he had
received a letter from that young gentleman, while he lived at Paris. In
spite of these conscientious reflections he was too self-sufficient to
think he should find any difficulty in obtaining forgiveness for
such sins of omission; and began to imagine that his passion would
be prejudicial to the dignity of his situation, if it should not be
gratified upon terms which formerly his imagination durst not conceive.
Sorry I am, that the task I have undertaken, lays me under the necessity
of divulging this degeneracy in the sentiment of our imperious youth,
who was now in the heyday of his blood, flushed with the consciousness
of his own qualifications, vain of his fortune, and elated on the
wings of imaginary expectation. Though he was deeply enamoured of Miss
Gauntlet, he was far from proposing her heart as the ultimate aim of
his gallantry, which, he did not doubt, would triumph over the most
illustrious females of the land, and at once regale his appetite and
ambition.
Meanwhile, being willing to make his appearance at the garrison equally
surprising and agreeable, he cautioned Mr. Jolter against writing to the
commodore, who had not heard of them since their departure from Paris,
and hired a post-chaise and horses, for London. The governor, going out
to give orders about the carriage, inadvertently left a paper book open
upon the table; and his pupil, casting his eyes upon the page, chanced
to read these words: “Sept. 15. Arrived in safety, by the blessing of
God, in this unhappy kingdom of England. And thus concludes the journal
of my last peregrination.” Peregrine's curiosity being inflamed by this
extraordinary conclusion he turned to the beginning, and perused several
sheets of a diary such as is commonly kept by that class of people known
by the denomination of travelling governors, for the satisfaction of
themselves and the parents or guardians of their pupils, and for the
edification and entertainment of their friends.
That the reader may have a clear idea of Mr. Jolter's performance, we
shall transcribe the transactions of one day, as he had recorded them;
and that abstract will be a sufficient specimen of the whole plan and
execution of the work.
“May 3. At eight o'clock, set out from Boulogne in a post-chaise: the
morning hazy and cold. Fortified my stomach with a cordial. Recommended
ditto to Mr. P. as an antidote against the fog. Mem. He refused it.
The hither horse greased in the off-pastern of the hind leg. Arrived
at Samers. Mem. This last was a post and a half, i.e. three leagues, or
nine English miles. The day clears up. A fine champaign country, well
stored with corn. The postillion says his prayers in passing by a wooden
crucifix upon the road. Mem. The horses staled in a small brook that
runs in a bottom, betwixt two hills. Arrived at Cormont. A common post.
A dispute with my pupil, who is obstinate, and swayed by an unlucky
prejudice. Proceed to Montreuil, where we dine on choice pigeons. A very
moderate charge. No chamber-pot in the room, owing to the negligence of
the maid. This is an ordinary post. Set out again for Nampont. Troubled
with flatulences and indigestion. Mr. P. is sullen, and seems to mistake
an eructation for the breaking of wind backwards. From Nampont depart
for Bernay, at which place we arrive in the evening, and propose to
stay all night. N.B. The two last a redouble posts, and our cattle
very willing, though not strong. Sup on a delicate ragout and excellent
partridges, in company with Mr. H. and his spouse. Mem. The said H.
trod upon my corn by mistake. Discharge the bill, which is not very
reasonable. Dispute with Mr. P. about giving money to the servant. He
insists upon my giving a twenty-four sol piece, which is too much by
two-thirds, in all conscience. N.B. She was a pert baggage, and did not
deserve a liard.”
Our hero was so much disobliged with certain circumstances of this
amusing and instructing journal, that, by way of punishing the author,
he interlined these words betwixt two paragraphs, in a manner that
exactly resembled the tutor's handwriting: “Mem. Had the pleasure of
drinking myself into a sweet intoxication, by toasting our lawful king,
and his royal family, among some worthy English fathers of the Society
of Jesus.”
Having taken this revenge, he set out for London, where he waited upon
those noblemen to whom he had letters of recommendation from Paris;
and was not only graciously received, but even loaded with caresses and
proffers of service, because they understood he was a young gentleman
of fortune, who, far from standing in need of their countenance or
assistance, would make a useful and creditable addition to the number
of their adherents. He had the honour of dining at their tables, in
consequence of pressing invitations, and of spending several evenings
with the ladies, to whom he was particularly agreeable, on account of
his person, address, and bleeding freely at play.
Being thus initiated in the beau monde, he thought it was high time
to pay his respects to his generous benefactor, the commodore; and,
accordingly, departed one morning, with his train, for the garrison,
at which he arrived in safety the same night. When he entered the gate,
which was opened by a new servant that did not know him, he found his
old friend, Hatchway, stalking in the yard, with a nightcap on his head,
and a pipe in his mouth; and, advancing to him, took him by the hand
before he had any intimation of his approach. The lieutenant, thus
saluted by a stranger, stared at him in silent astonishment, till he
recollected his features, which were no sooner known, than, dashing
his pipe upon the pavement, he exclaimed, “Smite my cross-trees! th'art
welcome to port;” and hugged him in his arms with great affection. He
then, by a cordial squeeze, expressed his satisfaction at seeing his old
shipmate, Tom, who, applying his whistle to his mouth, the whole castle
echoed with his performance.
The servants, hearing the well-known sound, poured out in a tumult of
joy; and, understanding that their young master was returned, raised
such a peal of acclamation, as astonished the commodore and his lady,
and inspired Julia with such an interesting presage, that her heart
began to throb with violence. Running out in the hurry and perturbation
of her hope, she was so much overwhelmed at sight of her brother, that
she actually fainted in his arms. But from this trance she soon awaked;
and Peregrine, having testified his pleasure and affection, went
upstairs, and presented himself before his godfather and aunt. Mrs.
Trunnion rose and received him with a gracious embrace, blessing God for
his happy return from a land of impiety and vice, in which she hoped his
morals had not been corrupted, nor his principles of religion altered or
impaired. The old gentleman being confined to his chair, was struck dumb
with pleasure at his appearance; and, having made divers ineffectual
efforts to get up, at length discharged a volley of curses against his
own limbs, and held out his hand to his godson, who kissed it with great
respect.
After he had finished his apostrophe to the gout, which was the daily
and hourly subject of his execrations, “Well, my lad,” said he, “I
care not how soon I go to the bottom, now I behold thee safe in harbour
again; and yet I tell a d--d lie; I would I could keep afloat until I
should see a lusty boy of thy begetting. Odds my timbers! I love thee
so well, that I believe thou art the spawn of my own body; though I can
give no account of thy being put upon the stocks.” Then, turning his
eyes upon Pipes, who by this time had penetrated into his apartment, and
addressed him with the usual salutation of “What cheer?” “Ahey,” cried
he, “are you there, you herring-faced son of a sea-calf? What a slippery
trick you played your old commander! But come, you dog, there's my fist;
I forgive you, for the love you bear to my godson. Go, man your tackle,
and hoist a cask of strong beer into the yard, knock out the bung, and
put a pump in it, for the use of all my servants and neighbours; and,
d'ye hear, let the patereroes be fired, and the garrison illuminated,
as rejoicings for the safe arrival of your master. By the Lord! if I had
the use of these d--d shambling shanks, I would dance a hornpipe with
the best of you.”
The next object of his attention was Mr. Jolter, who was honoured with
particular marks of distinction, and the repeated promise of enjoying
the living in his gift, as an acknowledgment of the care and discretion
with which he had superintended the education and morals of our hero.
The governor was so affected by the generosity of his patron, that the
tears ran down his cheeks, while he expressed his gratitude, and the
infinite satisfaction he felt in contemplating the accomplishments of
his pupil.
Meanwhile, Pipes did not neglect the orders he had received. The beer
was produced, the gates were thrown open for the admission of all
comers, the whole house was lighted up, and the patereroes were
discharged in repeated volleys. Such phenomena could not fail to attract
the notice of the neighbourhood. The club at Tunley's were astonished
at the report of the guns, which produced various conjectures among the
members of that sagacious society. The landlord observed, that, in all
likelihood, the commodore was visited by hobgoblins, and ordered the
guns to be fired in token of distress, as he had acted twenty years
before, when he was annoyed by the same grievance. The exciseman, with
a waggish sneer, expressed his apprehension of Trunnion's death,
in consequence of which the patereroes might be discharged with an
equivocal intent, either as signals of his lady's sorrow or rejoicing.
The attorney signified a suspicion of Hatchway's being married to Miss
Pickle, and that the firing and illuminations were in honour of the
nuptials; upon which Gamaliel discovered some faint signs of emotion,
and, taking the pipe from his mouth, gave it as his opinion, that his
sister was brought to bed.
While they were thus bewildered in the maze of their own imaginations,
a company of countrymen, who sat drinking in the kitchen, and whose legs
were more ready than their invention, sallied out to know the meaning
of these exhibitions. Understanding that there was a butt of strong beer
abroach in the yard, to which they were invited by the servants, they
saved themselves the trouble and expense of returning to spend the
evening at the public-house, and listed themselves under the banner of
Tom Pipes, who presided as director of this festival.
The news of Peregrine's return being communicated to the parish, the
parson, and three or four neighbouring gentlemen, who were well-wishers
to our hero, immediately repaired to the garrison, in order to pay their
compliments on this happy event, and were detained to supper. An elegant
entertainment was prepared by the direction of Miss Julia, who was an
excellent housewife; and the commodore was so invigorated with joy, that
he seemed to have renewed his age. Among those who honoured the occasion
with their presence, was Mr. Clover, the young gentleman that made his
addresses to Peregrine's sister. His heart was so big with his passion,
that, while the rest of the company were engrossed by their cups,
he seized an opportunity of our hero's being detached from the
conversation, and, in the impatience of his love, conjured him to
consent to his happiness; protesting, that he would comply with any
terms of settlement that a man of his fortune could embrace, in favour
of a young lady who was absolute mistress of his affection.
Our youth thanked him very politely for his favourable sentiments and
honourable intention towards his sister, and told him, that at present
he saw no reason to obstruct his desire; that he would consult Julia's
own inclinations, and confer with him about the means of gratifying his
wish; but, in the meantime, begged to be excused from discussing any
point of such importance to them both. Reminding him of the jovial
purpose on which they were happily met, he promoted such a quick
circulation of the bottle, that their mirth grew noisy and obstreperous;
they broke forth into repeated peals of laughter, without any previous
incitement except that of claret. These explosions were succeeded by
Bacchanalian songs, in which the old gentleman himself attempted to
bear a share; the sedate governor snapped time with his fingers, and the
parish priest assisted in the chorus with a most expressive nakedness
of countenance. Before midnight they were almost all pinned to their
chairs, as if they had been fixed by the power of enchantment; and, what
rendered the confinement still more unfortunate, every servant in the
house was in the same situation; so that they were fain to take their
repose as they sat, and nodded at each other like a congregation of
Anabaptists.
Next day Peregrine communed with his sister on the subject of her match
with Mr. Clover, who, she told him, had offered to settle a jointure of
four hundred pounds, and take her to wife without any expectation of a
dowry. She moreover gave him to understand, that, in his absence, she
had received several messages from her mother, commanding her to return
to her father's house; but that she had refused to obey these orders,
by the advice and injunction of her aunt and the commodore, which were
indeed seconded by her own inclination; because she had all the reason
in the world to believe, that her mother only wanted an opportunity of
treating her with severity and rancour. The resentment of that lady
had been carried to such indecent lengths, that, seeing her daughter at
church one day, she rose up, before the parson entered, and reviled her
with great bitterness, in the face of the whole congregation.