He is found by Lieutenant--Reconducted to his own House--Married to Mrs.
Grizzle, who meets with a small misfortune in the Night, and asserts her
Prerogative next Morning, in consequence of which her Husband's Eye is
endangered.
Meanwhile Lieutenant Hatchway made shift to hobble to the church, where
he informed the company of what had happened to the commodore: and the
bride behaved with great decency on the occasion; for, as she understood
the danger to which her future husband was exposed, she fainted in the
arms of her sister-in-law, to the surprise of all the spectators,
who could not comprehend the cause of her disorder; and when she was
recovered by the application of smelling-bottles, earnestly begged that
Mr. Hatchway and Tom Pipes should take her brother's coach, and go in
quest of their commander.
This task they readily undertook, being escorted by all the rest of his
adherents on horseback; while the bride and her friends were invited to
the parson's horse, and the ceremony deferred till another occasion.
The lieutenant, steering his course as near the line of direction
in which Trunnion went off, as the coach-road would permit, got
intelligence of his track from one farm-house to another; for such an
apparition could not fail of attracting particular notice; and one of
the horsemen having picked up his hat and wig in a by-path, the whole
troop entered the village where he was lodged, about four o'clock in the
afternoon. When they understood he was safely housed at the George, they
rode up to the door in a body, and expressed their satisfaction in three
cheers; which were returned by the company within, as soon as they were
instructed in the nature of the salute by Trunnion, who, by this time,
had entered into all the jollity of his new friends, and was indeed more
than half-seas-over. The lieutenant was introduced to all present as his
sworn brother, and had something tossed up for his dinner. Tom Pipes and
the crew were regaled in another room; and, a fresh pair of horses being
put to the coach, about six in the evening the commodore, with all his
attendants, departed for the garrison, after having shook hands with
every individual in the house.
Without any further accident, he was conveyed in safety to his own
gate before nine, and committed to the care of Pipes, who carried him
instantly to his hammock, while the lieutenant was driven away to the
place where the bride and her friends remained in great anxiety,
which vanished when he assured them that his commodore was safe, being
succeeded by abundance of mirth and pleasantry at the account he gave of
Trunnion's adventure.
Another day was fixed for the nuptials; and in order to balk the
curiosity of idle people, which had given great offence, the parson was
prevailed upon to perform the ceremony in the garrison, which all
that day was adorned with flags and pendants displayed; and at night
illuminated, by the direction of Hatchway, who also ordered the
patereroes to be fired, as soon as the marriage-knot was tied. Neither
were the other parts of the entertainment neglected by this ingenious
contriver, who produced undeniable proofs of his elegance and art in
the wedding-supper, which had been committed to his management and
direction. This genial banquet was entirely composed of sea-dishes; a
huge pillaw, consisting of a large piece of beef sliced, a couple of
fowls, and half a peck of rice, smoked in the middle of the board: a
dish of hard fish, swimming in oil, appeared at each end; the sides
being furnished with a mess of that savoury composition known by the
name of lub's-course, and a plate of salmagundy. The second course
displayed a goose of a monstrous magnitude, flanked with two
Guinea-hens, a pig barbacued, a hock of salt pork, in the midst of
a pease-pudding, a leg of mutton roasted, with potatoes, and another
boiled, with yams. The third service was made up of a loin of fresh
pork, with apple-sauce, a kid smothered with onions, and a terrapin
baked in the shell; and last of all, a prodigious sea-pie was presented,
with an infinite volume of pancakes and fritters. That everything
might be answerable to the magnificence of this delicate feast, he had
provided vast quantifies of strong beer, flip, rumbo, and burnt brandy,
with plenty of Barbadoes water for the ladies; and hired all the fiddles
within six miles, which, with the addition of a drum, bagpipe, and Welsh
harp, regaled the guests with a most melodious concert.
The company, who were not at all exceptions, seemed extremely well
pleased with every particular of the entertainment; and the evening
being spent in the most social manner, the bride was by her sister
conducted to her apartment, where, however, a trifling circumstance had
like to have destroyed the harmony which had been hitherto maintained.
I have already observed, that there was not one standing bed within the
walls; therefore the reader will not wonder that Mrs. Trunnion was out
of humour, when she found herself under the necessity of being confined
with her spouse in a hammock, which, though enlarged with a double
portion of canvas, and dilated with a yoke for the occasion, was at
best but a disagreeable, not to say dangerous situation. She accordingly
complained with some warmth of this inconvenience, which she imputed
to disrespect; and, at first, absolutely refused to put up with the
expedient; but Mrs. Pickle soon brought her to reason and compliance,
by observing that one night will soon be elapsed, and next day she might
regulate her own economy.
Thus persuaded, she ventured into the vehicle, and was visited by her
husband in less than an hour, the company being departed to their own
homes, and the garrison left to the command of his lieutenant and mate.
But it seems the hooks that supported this swinging couch were not
calculated for the addition of weight which they were now destined to
bear; and therefore gave way in the middle of the night, to the no small
terror of Mrs. Trunnion, who perceiving herself falling, screamed aloud,
and by that exclamation brought Hatchway with a light into the chamber.
Though she had received no injury by the fall, she was extremely
discomposed and incensed at the accident, which she even openly ascribed
to the obstinacy and whimsical oddity of the commodore, in such petulant
terms as evidently declared that she thought her great aim accomplished,
and her authority secured against all the shocks of fortune. Indeed her
bedfellow seemed to be of the same opinion, by his tacit resignation;
for he made no reply to her insinuations, but with a most vinegar
aspect crawled out of his nest, and betook himself to rest in another
apartment; while his irritated spouse dismissed the lieutenant, and
from the wreck of the hammock made an occasional bed for herself on the
floor, fully determined to provide better accommodation for the next
night's lodging.
Having no inclination to sleep, her thoughts, during the remaining part
of the night, were engrossed by a scheme of reformation she was
resolved to execute in the family; and no sooner did the first lark
bid salutation to the morn, than, starting from her humble couch, and
huddling on her clothes, she sallied from her chamber, explored her
way through paths before unknown, and in the course of her researches
perceived a large bell, to which she made such effectual application
as alarmed every soul in the family. In a moment she was surrounded
by Hatchway, Pipes, and all the rest of the servants half-dressed; but
seeing none of the feminine gender appear, she began to storm at the
sloth and laziness of the maids, who, she observed, ought to have been
at work an hour at least before she called; and then, for the first
time, understood that no woman was permitted to sleep within the walls.
She did not fail to exclaim against this regulation; and being informed
that the cook and chambermaid lodged in a small office-house that stood
without the gate, ordered the drawbridge to be let down, and in person
beat up their quarters, commanding them forthwith to set about scouring
the rooms, which had not been hitherto kept in a very decent condition,
while two men were immediately employed to transport the bed on which
she used to lie from her brother's house to her new habitation; so that,
in less than two hours, the whole economy of the garrison was turned
topsy-turvy, and everything involved in tumult and noise. Trunnion,
being disturbed and distracted with the uproar, turned out in his shirt
like a maniac, and, arming himself with a cudgel of crab-tree, made
an irruption into his wife's apartment, where, perceiving a couple of
carpenters at work in joining a bedstead, he, with many dreadful oaths
and opprobrious invectives, ordered them to desist, swearing he would
suffer no bulkheads nor hurricane-houses to stand where he was master:
but finding his remonstrances disregarded by these mechanics, who
believed him to be some madman belonging to the family, who had broken
from his confinement, he assaulted them both with great fury and
indignation, and was handled so roughly, in the encounter, that in a
very short time he measured his length on the floor, in consequence of a
blow that he received from a hammer by which the sight of his remaining
eye was grievously endangered.
Having thus reduced him to a state of subjection, they resolved to
secure him with cords, and were actually busy in adjusting his fetters,
when he was exempted from the disgrace by the accidental entrance of his
spouse, who rescued him from the hands of his adversaries, and, in the
midst of her condolence, imputed his misfortune to the inconsiderate
roughness of his own disposition.
He breathed nothing but revenge, and made some efforts to chastise the
insolence of the workmen, who, as soon as they understood his quality,
asked forgiveness for what they had done with great humility, protesting
that they did not know he was master of the house. But, far from
being satisfied with this apology, he groped about for the bell, the
inflammation of his eye having utterly deprived him of sight; and the
rope being, by the precaution of the delinquents, conveyed out of his
reach, began to storm with incredible vociferation, like a lion roaring
in the toil, pouring forth innumerable oaths and execrations, and
calling by name Hatchway and Pipes, who, being within hearing, obeyed
the extraordinary summons, and were ordered to put the carpenters in
irons, for having audaciously assaulted him in his own house.
His myrmidons, seeing he had been evil-treated, were exasperated at the
insult he had suffered, which they considered as an affront upon the
dignity of the garrison; the more so as the mutineers seemed to put
themselves in a posture of defence and set their authority at defiance;
they therefore unsheathed their cutlasses, which they commonly wore
as badges of their commission; and a desperate engagement in all
probability would have ensued, had not the lady of the castle
interposed, and prevented the effects of their animosity, by assuring
the lieutenant that the commodore had been the aggressor, and that the
workmen, finding themselves attacked in such an extraordinary manner,
by a person whom they did not know, were obliged to act in their own
defence, by which he had received that unlucky contusion.
Mr. Hatchway no sooner learnt the sentiments of Mrs. Trunnion, than,
sheathing his indignation, he told the commodore he should always
be ready to execute his lawful commands; but that he could not in
conscience be concerned in oppressing poor people who had been guilty of
no offence.
This unexpected declaration, together with the behaviour of his wife,
who in his hearing desired the carpenters to resume their work, filled
the breast of Trunnion with rage and mortification. He pulled off his
woollen night-cap, pummeled his bare pate, beat the floor alternately
with his feet, swore his people had betrayed him, and cursed himself to
the lowest pit of hell for having admitted such a cockatrice into his
family. But all these exclamations did not avail; they were among the
last essays of his resistance to the will of his wife, whose influence
among his adherents had already swallowed up his own, and peremptorily
told him that he must leave the management of everything within-doors to
her, who understood best what was for his honour and advantage. She then
ordered a poultice to be prepared for his eye, which being applied, he
was committed to the care of Pipes, by whom he was led about the house
like a blind bear growling for prey, while his industrious yoke-fellow
executed every circumstance of the plan she had projected; so that when
he recovered his vision he was an utter stranger in his own house.