THE END CROWNS ALL
"I have done it now," said the Duchess, "God knows what will be the
consequence, but I have at least delivered my soul."
She had scarcely uttered the words before Albert Fanning strode back
into the room. He was not the least awkward now, he looked quite manly
and dignified.
"Will you oblige me," he said, looking straight at the Duchess, "by
giving me the address of Mr. James Randolph?"
"You are not going to do anything," I cried, springing up, "oh, you
are not going to say anything? This has been forced out of me, and I
have not mentioned any one's name."
"I will do nothing to hurt you, dear," he said very gently, and he
looked at me again, and putting his hand on mine forced me quietly
back into my seat. Then he turned to the Duchess, waiting for her to
give him what he required.
Her face was very white, and her lips tremulous. She tore a sheet out
of her little gold-mounted note-book, which always hung at her side,
scribbled a few words on it, and handed it to him.
"I am dreadfully sorry to hurt you, you must believe that," she said.
He did not make any response. He bowed to her and then left the room.
"What does it mean? This is terrible," I cried.
The Duchess looked at me.
"Will you come home with me, Westenra? it is best for you," she said.
"Come and spend the rest of the day with me."
"No, I cannot," I answered; "I must stay here. Albert may come back
again. There is no saying what mischief you have done. I cannot think,
I am too miserable, too anxious. Oh, suppose he goes to see Mr.
Randolph, and suppose, suppose he tells him."
"I believe in his heart that man is a gentleman. Even if you marry him
I shall not be quite so unhappy as I would have been," was the
Duchess's next speech, and then seeing that I was not inclined to say
anything more she left the room.
I do not know how the rest of the day passed. From the quiet of
despair my mind was suddenly roused to a perfect whirl of anxiety, and
I could not think consecutively. I could plan nothing, I could hope
nothing, but it seemed to me that my journey to Switzerland was
indefinitely postponed, and that my future from being settled in every
detail, month, week, hour, and all, was as indefinite and vague and
shadowy as though I were standing on the brink of the other world.
Jasmine entered the room at tea-time and asked me what was the matter.
I replied that I had nothing at all fresh to tell her, for I felt that
she must never know what the Duchess had told Albert Fanning. She
gazed at me as I spoke as though I were a source of irritation to her,
and then said that my stepping down had changed me so absolutely that
she was not sure whether I was a nice girl any longer, and whether,
after all, the fate of being Albert Fanning's wife was not the best
fate for me. Then I said stoutly--
"Albert Fanning is one of the best men in the world, and I am
fortunate to be left in such good care." Jasmine got really angry and
offended then, and went out of the room. She presently came back to
ask me, if I would mind dining alone, as she and Henry wished to spend
their last evening with some friends. I said that, of course, I did
not mind. In reality I was very glad.
Jasmine went out, and I was again alone. How I hated the house; how I
hated the dreary, and yet beautifully-furnished drawing-room; how the
heat oppressed me, and seemed to take away the remainder of my
strength! I wondered if it were true, that I was only two-and-twenty,
just on the verge of womanhood. I felt quite old, and I stretched out
my arms, and gave a dreary sigh; and felt that the sadness of youth
was just as _great_ as the sadness of age; and that one of its most
painful moments was the knowledge that, in the ordinary course of
life, I was so far from the end. Yes, I was young, and I must bear my
burden, and I was strong too; and there was no chance under any
ordinary circumstances of my not living out the full measure of my
years.
Just before dinner the drawing-room door was again opened, and Albert
Fanning for the third time that day made his appearance. He looked
quite brisk, and bright, and like his usual self, except that in some
extraordinary way his awkwardness and self-consciousness had
completely left him; he was evidently absorbed with some business on
hand, which made him a new man for the time.
"Will you come for a walk with me, Westenra?" he asked gravely.
"What, now?" I inquired in some surprise and trepidation.
"Yes," he answered, "or, at least, I want you to drive with me now,
and to walk with me afterwards. I have a great desire that we should
spend this evening together; and I fancy, somehow, that you won't deny
me. I have a carriage outside; I bought it for you, yesterday, a smart
little victoria. I will drive you to Richmond, and we can dine there.
You will come, won't you, dear?"
I paused to think, then I said, just as gravely as he had addressed
me--
"Yes, I'll come."
"That is nice," he remarked, rubbing his hands, "we'll have a good
time, little girl. We won't mind what the Duchess said; we'll have a
right, good, jolly time, you and I."
"Of course," I answered. I went up to my room, dressed, and came down
again.
"I am ready now," I said.
He took my hand.
"It is very good of you, Westenra; we shall have a delightful evening;
all that thundery feeling has gone out of the air, everything is crisp
and fresh, and you'll enjoy your drive."
None of the servants saw us go out, and it was Albert himself who put
me into the victoria. He sat beside me, took the reins, and we were
off.
"Don't you think this is a neat little turn-out?" he said, as we drove
down in the soft summer air to Richmond.
I praised the victoria to his heart's content, and then I told him
that I thought his taste was much improved.
"It is all owing to you, dear," he replied. "You like things to look
_gentle_ somehow. I could not see myself looking at you in a place
with _loud_ things. It was only this morning I was saying to myself,
early this morning, I mean"--he gave a quick sigh as he uttered these
last words--"I was saying to myself, that we would furnish the house
at Highgate over again according to your ideas. We would just leave a
couple of rooms for mother, according to her tastes, and you and I
should have the rest of the house furnished as you like. Liberty,
Morris, all the rest, everything soft, and cloudy, and dim, and you
walking about in the midst of the pretty things, and I coming home,
and--but, never mind, dear, only I would like you always to feel, that
there is nothing under the sun I would not do for you, nothing."
"You are very, very kind," I murmured.
"Oh, it is not real kindness," he replied with great earnestness. "You
must not speak of it as kindness; you cannot call it that, when you
love, and I love you so much, little girl, that when I do things for
you, I do things for myself; you can never call it just _kindness_
when you please yourself. That is how I feel about the matter. You
understand, don't you?"
I nodded. I understood very well. Albert thought me kind when I said
gentle and affectionate words to him, but he thought himself rather
selfish than otherwise, when he poured out his whole heart at my feet.
As we were driving quickly in the direction of Richmond, he told me
many of his plans. I had never heard him speak more freely nor
unrestrainedly. Amongst other things he mentioned Jane Mullins.
"She is a capital woman," he said, "and she and I have gone carefully
into the matter of the house in Graham Square. Jane wants to give it
up, and it is quite too big for her to manage alone. I am starting
her in a little boarding-house in Pimlico, and with her business-like
instincts she will do uncommonly well there. She spoke of you when I
saw her yesterday, there were tears in her eyes."
"She must come and see us when we are settled at Highgate," I replied,
but to this remark of mine he made no answer.
We got to Richmond, and had some dinner, and then we went out, and
walked up and down on the terrace outside the hotel. There was a
lovely view, and the stars were coming out. Albert said--
"Let us turn down this walk. It is quite sheltered and rather lonely,
and at the farther end there is an arbour, they call it the 'Lover's
Arbour.' Beyond doubt many lovers have sat there; you and I, Westenra,
will sit there to-night."
I had been feeling almost happy in his society--I had almost forgotten
the Duchess, and even Jim Randolph had been put into the background of
my thoughts; but when Albert proposed that he and I should sit in the
"Lover's Arbour" as lovers, I felt a shiver run through me. I said not
a word, however, and I do not think he noticed the momentary
unwillingness which made me pause and hesitate. We walked between the
beautiful flowering shrubs, and under the leafy trees to the little
arbour, and we entered. I seated myself; he stood in the doorway.
"Won't you come and sit down, too?" I said.
"Do you ask me?" he answered, a light leaping into his eyes.
"Yes, I do ask you," I replied after a moment.
He sat down--then suddenly without the slightest warning, his arms
were round me; he had strained me to his heart; he had kissed me
several times on my lips.
"Oh, you ought not," I could not help exclaiming.
"But why not?" he cried, and he did not let me go, but looked into my
eyes, almost fiercely it seemed to me. "You are my promised wife, may
I not kiss you just once?"
"Oh, I know, you have the right to kiss me, but you have always
been----" I could not finish the words. He suddenly dropped his arms,
moved away from me, and stood up. His face was gloomy, then the gloom
seemed to clear as by a great effort.
"I have kissed you," he said; "I vowed I would, and I have done it. I
shall remember that kiss, and the feel of you in my arms, all my life
long; but I am not going to think of my own feelings, I have something
far more important to say. Do you know, little girl, that I received
an awful shock to-day? Now, listen. You gave me your bond, did you
not?"
"I did, Albert, I did."
"Just come out here, dear, I want to see your face. Ah! the moon
shines on it and lights it up; there never was a face in all the
world like yours, never to me; and I vowed, that because of it, and
because of you, I would lead a good life, a beautiful life. A great
deal, that I did not think was in me, has been awakened since you were
good to me, Westenra."
"You have been very kind to me, Albert," I said, "and I will marry
you. I will marry you when a year is up."
"You are a good girl," he said, patting my hand; but he did not
squeeze it, nor even take it in his. "You are a very good girl, and
you remember your bond. It was faithfully given, was it not?"
"Very faithfully, Albert."
"And you always, always meant to keep it?"
"I always did. I will keep it. Albert, why do you question me? Why do
you doubt me?"
"I will tell you in a minute, darling. Now I want to ask you a
question. Do you love me the least little scrap? Look well, well into
your heart before you answer. I know that when you said you would
marry me, you did not love me. You were willing to be bone of my bone,
and flesh of my flesh; my dear, dear wife, till death us did part; you
were willing to be all that?"
"I was," I said.
"And yet had you _never_ a kindly feeling towards me?"
"A very kindly feeling," I answered, "very kindly, but I----"
"I know," he said, "you are a good girl. I won't press you too hard.
Still my questions are not quite over. Had you, Westenra, at the time
you promised yourself to me, any sort of idea that you cared for
another?"
"He was dead, or at least, I thought he was dead," I said, trembling,
and turning away. "Had I thought him alive, even for mother's sake, I
could not have done it, but I thought him dead."
"And now that he has come back, you are sorry you gave me that bond?"
"Do not question me," I replied; "I will do my best for you; you will
never regret that you have taken me to be your wife, but you must not
question me."
"Because of your sore, sore heart," he said, looking very kindly at
me; and now I looked back at him, and saw that in some wonderful way
the expression on his face had changed; the look of passion had left
it--it was quite quiet, a very kindly face, a very good face; never
were there more honest blue eyes.
"I pressed you hard," he said, "I should not have done it, I see it
all now, and you were so good and so unselfish. You gave me that bond
for your mother's sake. I meant to put you into a corner; I meant to
force your hand. It was unfair, miserably unfair. I did not think so
at the time, but now I see it. Well, my dear, you are so gentle, and
so different from other girls, that you have opened my eyes. There is
a good bit of pain in having one's eyes opened sometimes, but there is
also great joy in giving perfect joy to one whom you love, as I love
you. So, if you will promise, little girl, faithfully, that never,
never shall those debts which I paid for you, be paid back again to
me; if you will allow me, for the whole of my life, to feel that I was
the one who saved Westenra in her hour of bitter need; I was the one
who helped her mother in her last moments to go down to the grave in
peace, if you will promise all that, Westenra, there is an end of
everything else. You have your bond back again. I don't want it,
child, it is yours to do what you will with. You are free, Westenra.
If it is hard on me, I am not going to talk of myself; but, I hope, I
am manly enough to bear a bit of pain, and not cause the girl I love
best on earth to suffer pain to her dying day. You are free, Westenra,
that is all."
"But I won't be free," I answered passionately, for at that moment all
the heroism in me, all that my dead father had given me before I was
born, all that I owed to him, sprang to life in my veins, and I saw
Albert Fanning as a hero, and faintly, very faintly, I began to love
him in return. Not for a moment with the love I had for Jim, but still
with a love which might have made me a blessed if not a happy wife.
"I won't be free, Albert," I cried, "I gave you my bond, and I will
keep it; I will marry you."
"Never mind about that just now," he said; "but do you think--" he sat
down near me as he spoke, and looked me in the face. "Do you think you
could bring yourself to do one last thing for me?"
"It won't be a last thing," I answered, "it will be the first of many;
I will do everything for you; I will marry you."
"It is not such a big thing as that," he replied; "but it is a big
thing, at least a very big thing to me. It is something that I shall
prize all my life. I took you in my arms just now and kissed you--will
you kiss me just once of your own accord?"
I did not hesitate; I raised my lips and pressed a kiss on his cheek.
He looked at me very mournfully and quietly.
"Thank you," he said, "I shall always have this to make a better man
of me."
"But I am going to be yours; you won't cast me off," I pleaded; "I
said I would marry you on the 1st of June next year, and I will."
"But I would rather not, my little girl. The fact is this, Westenra, I
would not marry you now at any price. I would have married you had I
thought I could have won you in the end, but I won't have a wife who
loves another. I could not do it on any terms, Westenra. I am low down
enough, but I am not as low as that. So I refuse you, dear; I give you
up--you understand, don't you?"
I did understand. A wild wave of joy, almost intolerable, surged
round my heart, and the next moment Mr. Fanning took my hand and led
me out of the arbour just where the moon was shining.
"I asked Mr. Randolph to come down," he said quietly, "I guessed that
perhaps he would be wanted. I think this is he."
Footsteps were heard approaching, and Jim Randolph stood in the
moonlit path.
"How do you do, Mr. Randolph?" said Albert Fanning, with that new
dignity which self-denial gave him. He looked almost grand at the
moment.
"I have just been telling this young girl, Mr. Randolph, that I have
heard a certain secret about her which she was bravely trying to keep
to herself, and in consequence of that secret I can have nothing more
to do with her. She wanted to marry me, sir, but I have refused her;
she is quite free, free for any one else to woo and win. She is a very
good girl, sir, and--but that is all, I have nothing more to say. I
have given her back her bond." And then without a word, Albert Fanning
walked quickly away through the gloom of the shrubbery, and Jim and I
found ourselves alone face to face with the moonlight shining on us
both.