THE DUCHESS HAS HER SAY
I shall never forget as long as I live that sultry 1st of August;
there seemed to be scarcely a breath of air anywhere, all the air of
London had that used-up feeling which those who live in it all the
year round know so well. It was hot weather, hot in the house, hot in
the outside streets, hot in the burnt-up parks, hot everywhere. The
sky seemed to radiate heat, and the earth seemed to embrace it; and we
poor human beings who were subjected to it scarcely knew what to do
with ourselves.
Even in Jasmine's luxurious house, where all the appliances of comfort
were abundantly in evidence, even there we gasped and thought of the
country with a longing equal to that of thirsty people for water.
Jasmine and her husband were going away the next day, and the Duchess
was going away too, and I was to join the Fannings on the 4th. I was
to have three more days in Jasmine's house, and then I was to go, I
knew well never to return. I had not seen Jim after that night, nearly
a fortnight ago, when I had told him everything, and from that hour to
now nothing at all had occurred to deliver me from my bondage and
misery. Mrs. Fanning had come twice to see me; she was very bustling
and self-important, and told me honestly that she had a downright
hatred for that airified madam her ladyship. She said that we'd have
an excellent time in Switzerland, going to the very best hotels,
enjoying ourselves everywhere.
"And you two young engaged creatures will have no end of opportunities
for flirtation," she said; "I won't be much in the way. You may be
quite sure that the old mother will efface herself in order to give
her son and her dear new daughter every possible opportunity for
enjoying life. Ah! my dear, there is no time like the engaged
period--the man makes such a fuss about you then. He don't afterwards,
dear; I may as well be frank, but he don't--the best of 'em even take
you as if you were common clay; but beforehand you're something of an
angel, and they treat you according. It's the way of all men, dear, it
is the way of every single one of 'em. Now Albert, for instance, I
declare at times I scarcely know him. He used to be a matter-of-fact
sort of body, but he is changed in all sorts of ways; and as to the
way he speaks of you, you'd think you weren't common clay at all, that
your feet had never yet touched the earth. He drives me past patience
almost at times; but I say to myself, 'Thank goodness, it won't last.'
That's my one consolation, for I cannot bear those high-falutin'
ideas, although there's nothing Albert does that seems really wrong to
me. He said to me only yesterday, 'Mother, I have a kind of awe over
me when I am with her; she is not like any one else, she is so dainty,
and so----' I declare I almost laughed in his face; but there, I
didn't, and doubtless he has told you those sort of things himself. I
don't want to see you blush. Not that you do blush, Westenra; I must
say you take things pretty cool. I suppose it is breeding. They say it
takes a power of good breeding to get that calm which it strikes me
you have to perfection. I never saw any one else with it except that
Mr. Randolph, who, I hear, wasn't drowned at all, but came back as
safe as ever a few days ago. Well, well, I'm off now. You wouldn't
like to come back to the Métropole to me and Albert the day her
ladyship goes, would you, child? Say out frankly if you have a wish
that way."
"No," I answered, "I have not a wish that way. I will meet you at
Victoria Station. I would rather stay here until then."
"Well, well, good-bye, my dearie," said the stout old woman, and she
embraced me with her voluminous arms, and patted me on my cheek.
But although she came, as I said, twice, Albert did not come at all,
and I thought it extremely nice of him. New proofs of his kindness
were meeting me at every turn. He wrote to me several times, and in
each letter said that he knew perfectly well that I meant to be free
until the year was up, and that he was not going to worry me with
overmuch love-making, or any nonsense of that sort; but he thought I
would like Switzerland, and the change would do me good, and although
he would not say much, and would not even ask me to go out walking
with him unless I wished it, yet I was to be certain of one thing,
that he was ready to lay down his life for me, and that I was the one
thought of his heart, the one treasure of his soul.
"Poor Albert!" I had almost said, "Poor dear Albert!" when I read that
last letter. How much he had developed since the days when we first
met. It is wonderful what a power love has, how it ennobles and
purifies and sanctifies, and raises, and Albert's love was very
unselfish--how utterly unselfish, I was to know before long.
But the days went on, and each day seemed a little harder than the
last, until I became quite anxious for the complete break to take
place when I should have parted with my old friends and my old life
for ever. But I knew quite well that even if I did go away, the image
of the man I really loved would remain in my heart. As this was likely
to be a sin by-and-by--for surely I ought not to marry one man and
love another--I must try to fight against all thoughts of Jim, and to
banish the one who would not be banished from my thoughts.
I have said that the 1st of August came in with tremendous heat; every
window in the house was open, the blinds were all down. Jasmine was
quite fretful and irritable. She pined for Scotland; she said that she
could scarcely contain herself until she got away.
She and her husband were to go early the next day to the North, and
all arrangements were being made, and the final packing was being
completed.
The Duchess also was kept in town owing to some special duties, but on
the next day she was also to go.
She had asked me two or three times to visit her, but I had written to
her begging of her not to press it.
"I must go through with what I have promised," I said, "and to see you
only pains me. Do forgive me. Perhaps you will see me once when I
return from Switzerland just to say good-bye."
The Duchess had taken no notice of this letter, and I concluded sadly
that I was never to see her or hear of her again; but as I was sitting
by myself in Jasmine's inner drawing-room on that same 1st of August,
about twelve o'clock in the morning, I was startled when the door was
thrown open, and the dear Duchess came in. She came up to me, put her
arms round me, drew me to her breast, and kissed me several times. She
had not, after all, more motherly arms than Mrs. Fanning, but she had
a different way about her, and before I knew what I was doing, the
feel of those arms, and the warm, consoling touch of her sympathy,
caused me to burst out crying. Mrs. Fanning would not have thought
much of the calm which in her opinion seems to accompany good breeding
had she seen me at that moment. But the Duchess knew exactly what to
do. She did not speak until I was quieter, and then she made me lie on
the sofa, and took my hand and patted it.
"I am thinking of you, Westenra, almost all day long," she said
solemnly. "I am terribly concerned about you. Have you got a
photograph of that man anywhere near?"
"I have not got one," I replied.
"He never sent you his photograph? I thought they always did."
"He would have liked to. He is very patient, and he is very fond of
me, you need not be anxious about me, it is just----"
"But it is the giving of you up, child, that is so painful, and the
want of necessity of the whole thing. Sometimes I declare I am so
impatient with----"
But what the Duchess meant to say was never finished, for the
drawing-room door was opened once more and the footman announced Mr.
Fanning.
Albert Fanning entered in his usual, half assured, half nervous style.
He had a way of walking on his toes, so that his tall figure seemed to
undulate up and down as he approached you. He carried his hat in his
hand, and his hair was as upright as usual, his face white, his blue
eyes hungry. He was so anxious to see me, and this visit meant so much
to him, that he did not even notice the Duchess. He came straight up
to me, and when he saw that my cheeks were pale and my eyes red from
recent crying, he was so concerned that he stooped, and before I could
prevent him gave me the lightest and softest of kisses on my cheek.
"I could not keep away," he said, "and I--I have a message from the
mater. Can you listen?"
I was sitting up, my face was crimson, with an involuntary movement I
had tried to brush away that offending kiss. He saw me do it, and his
face went whiter than ever.
"Introduce me, Westenra," said the voice of the Duchess.
In my emotion at seeing Albert Fanning, I had forgotten her, but now I
stood up and made the necessary introduction. Her Grace of Wilmot gave
a distant bow, which Mr. Fanning gravely and with no trace of
awkwardness returned.
"Won't you sit down?" said the Duchess then; "do you know I have been
most anxious to see you?"
"Indeed," he replied. He looked amazed and a little incredulous. He
kept glancing from the Duchess to me. I do not know why, but I
suddenly began to feel intensely nervous. There was a gleam in my old
friend's soft brown eyes which I had only seen there at moments of
intense emotion. She evidently was making up her mind to say something
terrible. I exclaimed hastily--
"Albert, if you wish to speak to me, will you come into the next room.
You will excuse us for a moment will you not, Duchess?"
"No, Westenra," she replied, and she rose now herself; "I will not
excuse you. You must stay here, and so must Mr. Fanning, for I have
got something I wish particularly to say to Mr. Fanning."
"Oh, what?" I cried. "Oh, you will not"--she held up her hand to stop
my torrent of words.
"The opportunity has come which I have desired," she said, "and I am
not going to neglect it. It need make no difference to either of you,
but at least you, Mr. Fanning, will not marry my dear girl without
knowing how things really are."
"Oh, please don't speak of it, I implore you, you don't know what
terrible mischief you will do."
"Hold your tongue, Westenra. Mr. Fanning, this young girl is very dear
to me, I have known her since her birth; I stood sponsor for her when
she was a baby. I take shame to myself for having to a certain extent
neglected her, and also her mother, my most dear friend, during the
few months they lived in 17 Graham Square. I take shame to myself, for
had I done all that I might have done for those whom I sincerely
loved, the calamity which came about need never have occurred."
"As to that," said Albert Fanning, speaking for the first time, and in
quite his usual assured voice, "it could not help occurring, your
Grace, for the simple fact that the boarding-house never could have
paid, the expenses were greater than the incomings. If you have ever
studied political economy, your Grace will know for yourself that when
you spend more than you receive it spells RUIN."
The Duchess stopped speaking when Albert Fanning began, and looked at
him with considerable astonishment.
"Then you knew from the first that the extraordinary scheme of my
young friend could not succeed."
"I did," he replied, "and I bided my time. I suppose you mean to say
something disagreeable to me; you do not think I am in the running
with her at all, but as far as that goes I have money, and she has not
any, and I love her as I suppose woman never was loved before, and I
will make her happy in my own fashion. And I'll never intrude on her
grand friends, so that her grand friends can come to see her as often
as they like; and as to my mother, she is a right-down good sort,
though she wasn't born in the purple like yourself, your Grace; so, as
far as I am concerned, I do not know what you have to say to me. I
suppose you want to tell me that Westenra here, my pretty little girl,
who is going to give herself to me on the 1st of June next year, does
not care for me, but she will care for me by-and-by, for my feeling is
that love like mine must be returned in the long run, and if after a
year she don't tell your Grace that she is the happiest little wife in
the length and breadth of England, I shall be greatly surprised."
Here Albert Fanning slapped his thigh in his excitement, and then
stood bolt upright before the Duchess, who in absolute astonishment
stared back at him.
"That is not the point," she said. "You do not want to marry a girl
who not only does not love you, but who does, with all her heart and
soul, love some one else?"
"Why, of course not," he replied, and a frightened look came for the
first time into his blue eyes. He turned and faced me.
"Of course not," he repeated, his eyes still devouring mine; "but
Westenra cares for nobody, I never saw a girl less of a flirt in the
whole course of my life. It is not to be supposed that such a very
pretty girl should not have men fall in love with her, but that is
neither here nor there."
"You ask her yourself," said the Duchess; "I think from your face that
you seem a very honest good sort of man; you are a publisher, are you
not?"
"Yes, Madam, I publish books, bright, entertaining books too."
"I repeat that you seem a very honest upright sort of man, who
sincerely loves my young friend, and honestly wishes to do his best
for her, but I think you will find that there is more behind the
scenes than you are aware of, and, in short, that Westenra ought to
tell you the truth. Tell him the truth now, Westenra."
"Yes, tell me now, Westenra," he said; "tell me the truth;" and he
faced me once more, and I forced myself to look into his eyes.
"I know you don't love me just yet," he continued, "but it will come
some day."
"I will do my very best to love you," I answered; "I will try to be a
good wife to you, Albert."
"Ay, ay--how sweetly you say those words. May I hold your hand?"
I gave him my hand--he held it as he always did hold it, as if it were
something very precious and sacred, letting it lie in his palm, and
looking down at it as if it were a sort of white wonder to him.
"But ask her the question," said her Grace, and then I glanced at the
Duchess and saw that her cheeks were pink with excitement, and her
eyes shining; "ask her that straight, straight question on which all
your happiness depends, Mr. Fanning."
"I will, your Grace. You do not love me, Westenra, but you will try to
be a good wife to me, and you will try to love me, that is, in the
future. There is no one else whom you love now, is there? I know, of
course, what your reply will be, darling, and it is a hard question to
ask of you, as though I doubted you. There is no one, is there,
Westenra? Speak, little girl, don't be afraid, there is no one?"
"But there is," I faltered. I covered my face for a moment, then I
checked back my tears and looked at him as steadily as he had looked
at me.
"There is another," he repeated, "and you--you love him? Who is he?"
"I won't tell you his name. I shall get over it. I could not help
myself--I promised to marry you, but I never said that I could love
you, for I don't--not now at least, and there is another, but I will
never see him again. It won't make any difference to you, Albert."
"Yes, but it will," he said, "all the difference on earth." He dropped
my hand as though it hurt him. He turned and faced the Duchess.
"I suppose you are talking of Mr. Randolph. I quite understand, he
belongs to the set in which she was born, but he deserted her when she
wanted him most. It can scarcely be that she cares for him. There, I
don't want either of you to tell me his name just now. I have heard
enough for the present."
He strode out of the room, slamming the door behind him.