_Foreign Etiquette of Marriage--Quaint Customs and Strange
Superstitions._
Continental Weddings.
Many of the national, picturesque customs have disappeared from the
weddings of the townspeople and the more educated classes on the
Continent; but many distinctive points of etiquette still remain, and
we shall find that in matters of detail there is much that differs
from our English ways.
In _Germany_ it is impossible for young people to marry without the
consent of their parents or legal guardians, and unless certain
prescribed forms are gone through, the marriage will be null and void.
So many certificates of birth, parentage, etc., have to be produced
that, it is said, the working classes can neither afford the time nor
the money necessary for a legal marriage; so many of them do without
it. The husband is the lord and master; his wife's property passes
into his keeping and is at his absolute disposal. He may compel her to
work, and even if the pair be divorced he still retains her money. As
German girls are brought up to expect this, it does not strike them as
any hardship, and most of them are quite happy to be under the sway of
their liege lords.
The chief festivity of a German wedding is the _Polterabend_, a
somewhat hilarious party given the night before. The young friends of
the bride enact charades, or give living pictures illustrative of the
chief events in her childhood and youth. There is much merriment, and,
I believe, the breaking of crockery has a part in the proceedings. The
bridesmaids are accompanied by an equal number of young men, called
_Brautfuehrer_. The bridal wreath is always of myrtle, not orange
blossom, and the bride and bridegroom exchange rings. Customs vary
according to social station and locality.
{108} At a South German peasant's wedding there is wild rejoicing and
much ceremony. The guests are invited by a messenger, who draws devices
on the doorsteps of those he has to summon to the feast. There is music
and dancing, processions are formed to and from the church, the bride
is hailed with flowers, and all sorts of emblematical offerings are
taken to church. The bridegroom stuffs his pockets with samples of
what he hopes will constitute his worldly wealth. If he never looks
back between the house and the altar, the bride knows that he will
never want a second wife. For those who have the leisure and
opportunity to study these peasant marriages a curious compound of
sentiment, superstition, and practical common sense will present
itself.
In Norway
the bride who has preserved her maiden state untarnished--it is not
necessarily expected of her--is crowned with a high, glittering crown
inlaid with gems, which is the property of the church, and can be
hired for five dollars. Special music is also performed in her honour
by the rustic musicians. Wedding festivities are marked by unbounded
hospitality. There is food and drink for all. When the procession is
formed the bride walks last, clad in a gorgeous costume which also
may be hired. There are both bridesmaids and bride-leaders, the latter
being married women who lend their moral support to the bride. The
couple kneel in the church under a sort of canopy made out of shawls
and scarves held up by the bridesmaids. After the ceremony an amount
of eating, drinking, and dancing go on that we can hardly imagine. The
bridegroom has a last sort of romp with his bachelor friends, and has
to be wrested from them by the married men. The bride dances off her
crown, is then blindfolded and surrounded by a ring of her
bridesmaids, and places her crown upon the head of one of them who is
claimed as the next bride. Before the cake is cut each friend lays a
coin upon it, and toasts are drunk with enthusiasm. In some provinces
the bride has to run away and hide the day after the wedding. A grand
search is then made, and she is carried home with much ado. This
practice still prevails among some of the native African tribes and
the aborigines of Australia.
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In Brittany
the bridegroom pretends to "capture" his bride. He makes a mock
assault upon her house, which is carefully closed with locks and bolts
against him. The besieging party take bagpipes to while away the time.
Much parleying goes on, and every female member of the bride's family
is offered to the bridegroom by one of her male relations, who is the
chosen tormentor. When she finally does appear the pair exchange
sprigs of myrtle or orange blossom, and there is a dance. Before the
party starts for the church they all kneel in prayer, and the bride
takes a touching farewell of her parents. Feasting and revelry finish
up the day.
In Italy
the bride becomes entirely one of her husband's family, and his mother
is all-powerful. Before the marriage the couple, accompanied by three
witnesses, must go before the appointed authorities, and a document is
drawn up stating that they wish to marry. The witnesses sign this
paper to show that there is no impediment to the marriage. The
document is then posted up outside a stated public building for the
inspection of the passers-by. If no one makes any objection before the
end of a fortnight, the couple may then make a legal civil contract,
and nothing more is required. This arrangement was made to check the
power of the priests, who manipulated marriages much to their own
fancy under the Papal government. A youth must be eighteen and a girl
sixteen before they can marry. There are many superstitions about the
lucky and unlucky days for marriages. Sunday is the favoured day.
There are hardly ever any bridesmaids at an Italian wedding, as girls
are not supposed to be present on such occasions, so the married women
accompany the bride.
In Russia
no man under thirty nor woman under twenty-five may marry without the
consent of parents, but in the event of unreasonable opposition an
appeal may be made to the law. Both bride and bridegroom must give
costly presents {110} to the Church. The man comes to claim his bride
from her parents, and she kneels before them to ask pardon for all she
may have done to vex or grieve them. They raise her with a kiss of
forgiveness, and give her bread and salt in token that they will never
let her want. When she leaves her old home the door is left open as a
sign that she may always return to it. Rich brides wear nothing but
white and orange blossom; but pale blue and a coronet of silver ribbon
are more in accordance with the national custom. The religious
ceremony has all the ritual and grandeur of the Greek Church. The
bride has to prostrate herself before her husband in token of entire
submission. The best man attends the bride, not the bridegroom, and is
chosen by her. Seven o'clock in the evening is the time for Russian
weddings to begin. Mostly newly-married couples live with the
husband's family, who greet them on their return from church with
bread and salt. A dance follows, during which the bride has to change
her dress as many times as she has different costumes in her
trousseau. The supper is served at daybreak, after which the guests
depart. In Russia the wife's name is always a little different from
that of her husband, owing to the fact that the family name when borne
by a male is a substantive and can be used alone, while in a lady's
case it is only an adjective which requires completion to give it full
meaning.
In Sweden
a rainy day is considered lucky for a marriage, as it foretells
wealth. There is barbaric feasting at the wedding, and departing
guests are given a bottle of brandy and a huge ring of wheaten bread
with which to treat those they meet on their way home. The bride is
dressed by her particular friend, or by the pastor's wife, and wears a
black, beribboned gown, ornamented with mock gems, tinsel, and
artificial flowers. She has a myrtle wreath or a crown like her
Norwegian sister. Her shoes have some symbolical reference to possible
motherhood. In the left one her father places a silver coin, while her
mother puts gold in the right shoe. These represent the necessaries
and luxuries with which they hope she will be provided. On her return
from church her mother places a sweetmeat in her mouth to make her
gentle of speech.
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In Spain
the bride always retains her maiden name attached to that of her
husband, and both must be used together. Flowers form a great feature
of Spanish marriages, and in each district blossoms have special
significance. In Valentia the ceremony takes place at night, and there
is a mock "marriage by capture." All the guests must leave by 1 A.M.
In Catalonia only the nearest relations of the pair are allowed to
attend the service, but many guests are asked to the house, and each
must bring a gift. It is an insult to refuse an invitation of this
kind. The guests are divided according to sex, and when the bridegroom
is tired of the men he goes and throws sweets at the ladies, exclusive
of his wife. Then dancing follows. The bride's father gives his
daughter her house, furniture, and trousseau, while the guests are
supposed to supply her dowry. In Andalusia no ring is used, but every
married woman wears flowers in her hair over the right ear as a mark
of her matronly dignity.
In Hungary.
A society has been formed in South Hungary to enable the bride to have
her name joined with that of her husband, and it may be noted, in
passing, that in Germany and Austria the wife takes the title as well
as the name of the man she marries. She is Mrs. Dr. Braun or Mrs.
Sanitary Inspector Meyer, Mrs Colonel Schmidt, and so on. The day
before a marriage in Hungary there is a grand display of the bride's
presents and trousseau, and the more garments, household linen, and
beds she has, the prouder she feels. Two matrons and six maids clad in
white, each of the latter carrying a crown, escort the bride to
church. After the service she goes to her husband's home, where the
feast lasts for days with occasional intervals. Each guest may have a
dance with and a kiss from the bride, for which payment is made in
small coins.
In Switzerland,
as in France, the civil marriage must precede the religious ceremony.
A widow or a woman separated from her {112} husband may not marry again
till at least ten months have elapsed since the death or deed of
separation. At a peasant's wedding there is often a mistress of the
ceremonies, who distributes red and blue handkerchiefs among the
guests, in return for which she receives money for the bride. The sum
thus collected is not given to her till she has been married for
forty-eight hours. They marry young, and life is too hard to leave
them much leisure for love-making. The Swiss are not an emotional
people on the whole, and the head, generally dominates the heart with
them. Customs vary according to the locality and the canton in which
the marriage takes place.
In Denmark
the same plain gold ring does duty both for betrothal and marriage,
the bridegroom changing it from the third finger of the left hand to
the third finger of the right at the marriage ceremony.
In France
women of the upper and middle classes often wear no wedding-ring. They
seem to regard it as a badge of servitude, and leave it to their
humbler sisters. In a Roman Catholic French church the bride is
attended by one bridesmaid and a groomsman, who after the service make
a collection from the guests and hand it over to the priest. The two
perform this act very gracefully. The gentleman turns one hand palm
upwards and the lady lets her fingertips rest upon his with her palm
downwards, while, as they pass down the aisle together, each holds an
alms-bag to the company with the other hand.
At one point in the service both bride and bridegroom are, given
lighted candles to hold. Rather risky for the wedding dress! thinks
the careful woman. The bride wears a costume similar to that worn in
England, but the bridesmaid is in more ordinary afternoon dress, and
the same may be said of the guests, who do not assume a distinctively
bridal appearance. Sometimes the civil marriage takes place
immediately before the religious one, or it may be performed on the
preceding day. The Protestant service is of course very simple. Most
married men in France wear a wedding-ring.
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