[FROM SOPHIA DOROTHEA TO KÖNIGSMARCK]
[Wiesbaden], _August 25th/September 4th {1692}_.[207]
I take so much pleasure in conversing with you that, so soon as I have a
moment of liberty, I employ it to assure you of my affection. I wrote to
you yesterday, but it seems to me that I did not sufficiently insist to
you on the disquiet in which I am about what you tell me. It prevented
me from sleeping all the night. I reviewed all my actions, and, the more
I examine myself, the less I can guess what you can have against me. It
is certain that you ought to be content with my conduct; it is ruled by
my affection, and this is sufficient. I entreat you once more to let me
know as soon as you are able what it can be. It will be very easy for me
to justify myself, since I have never thought of anything but pleasing
you, and I will with pleasure take all the most horrid oaths to you as
to my innocence; but I urgently ask of you to inform me who are they
that tell you such calumnies. No doubt they have their reasons for
making a quarrel between us, and according to all appearances they will
not stop there. Be persuaded, I entreat you, that I am incapable of
doing anything that could displease you. My behaviour has shown you this
up to the present time, and I will do even more in the same way in the
future. I am in despair not to be able to make you perceive as much as I
should like to do my affection for you. The opportunities are wanting to
me, but not the will; and I shall not be happy until I have made the
whole earth see that for me you take the place of the grandeurs and
pleasures of the world and of all its charms. The only one which I
desire is that of possessing your heart; I demand no other, and this one
happiness will always make me indifferent to all others. I am convinced
that if I were at Han[over], I should be told plenty of stories against
you; but I trust you too much to listen easily to what I might be told.
Do you act in the same way, and believe firmly that nothing is capable
of making me change! I am in mortal trouble. They say that an engagement
was fought a short time since, and I do not yet know the rights of it. I
tremble lest you should expose yourself without need, and that some
accident should have befallen you. Take care of yourself, I entreat you,
if there remains in you any affection [for] me. What would become of me
if I were to learn that you were wounded? I think I should die of it.
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Footnote 207:
Cf. Wilkins, pp. 233 sqq.
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