P.S.--My Doctor has just stopped the diet!
DEAR SIR,--We are sure that the Oatmeal-and-Orange prescription is an
invaluable one for the complexion. We recently tried it on a Street
Arab, and after one or two doses--accompanied by the employment of
soap and water--he developed such a beautiful pink-and-white skin,
that his parents failed to recognise him. This was unfortunate in one
way, as he has now become chargeable on the rates. Talking of rates,
we may mention that we supply finest Midlothian Campaign Oatmeal at a
more reasonable figure than any other firm in the trade. Price-list on
application.
Yours obediently, McCANNY & Co.
_Edinburgh._
SIR,--I am not less than fifty years' old, and marked with small-pox,
and therefore I think that Oatmeal and Oranges would be sure to do my
complexion good. As mine is perhaps a rather unusual case, I am trying
the remedy in a peculiarly thorough way. I have an Oatmeal-bath twice
a day, during which I suck six oranges. My breakfast consists of
porridge and marmalade. I have engaged a policeman to knock at my
front door three times every night, to wake me. I then sit up in bed
and consume oat-cakes soaked in orange-juice. I also dress in yellow,
and I have written to Belfast to ask if I can be admitted to an Orange
Society there, but hitherto I have received no reply. You will, I
think, agree with me that I am giving the new treatment a fair trial.
Yours truly,