If a schoolmistress chooses to live a hundred or a thousand miles
away from her school, she can use the Scolding Machine by means of a
_Telephone_ attached thereto.
One great advantage of the Electro-micro Scolding Machine is, that
after it has been in use a short time the girls will all have been
shamed into good behaviour; but the Machine will not become useless,
as it can, without a farthing outlay, be turned into a Praising
Machine, for it can be made to praise in a gentle voice as well as
scold in a harsh one. In fact, as said above it will repeat in exact
tones, anything that is recited, preached, sung, whistled, whispered,
shouted, scolded or praised into it--and any of which will be heard
for forty miles around.
Cole can supply Scolding Machines from L5 to L50. A very good one
(The Excelsior), price L10, can be charged in one minute, and set
going like a musical box, and will sing, whistle, recite, preach, or
scold away for a full hour without stopping. Cole would particularly
recommend this one to the ladies, it would make a fine ornament for
their own table.
Final Notice Extraordinary--If the champion male scold of the world,
and the champion female scold of the world, will call on Professor
Cole, at the Book Arcade, Melbourne, he will give them both good
wages, and find them constant employment at charging Scolding
Machines. If any wife has got the champion male scold for a husband,
she will please to let me know. If any husband has got the champion
female scold for a wife, he will please to let me know--L10 bonus
for information in each case.