P.S. I have sacrificed my Necklace to put into the Publick Lottery
against the Common Enemy. And last _Saturday_, about Three a Clock in
the Afternoon, I began to patch indifferently on both Sides of my
Face.
_London, June 7, 1711._
Mr. SPECTATOR,
'Upon reading your late Dissertation concerning _Idols_, I cannot but
complain to you that there are, in six or seven Places of this City,
Coffee-houses kept by Persons of that Sisterhood. These _Idols_ sit
and receive all Day long the adoration of the Youth within such and
such Districts: I know, in particular, Goods are not entered as they
ought to be at the Custom-house, nor Law-Reports perused at the
Temple; by reason of one Beauty who detains the young Merchants too
long near _Change_, and another Fair One who keeps the Students at her
House when they should be at Study. It would be worth your while to
see how the Idolaters alternately offer Incense to their _Idols_, and
what Heart-burnings arise in those who wait for their Turn to receive
kind Aspects from those little Thrones, which all the Company, but
these Lovers, call the Bars. I saw a Gentleman turn as pale as Ashes,
because an _Idol_ turned the Sugar in a Tea-Dish for his Rival, and
carelessly called the Boy to serve him, with a _Sirrah! Why don't you
give the Gentleman the Box to please himself?_ Certain it is, that a
very hopeful young Man was taken with Leads in his Pockets below
Bridge, where he intended to drown himself, because his _Idol_ would
wash the Dish in which she had [but just [1]] drank Tea, before she
would let him use it.
I am, Sir, a Person past being Amorous, and do not give this
Information out of Envy or Jealousy, but I am a real Sufferer by it.
These Lovers take any thing for Tea and Coffee; I saw one Yesterday
surfeit to make his Court; and all his Rivals, at the same time, loud
in the Commendation of Liquors that went against every body in the
Room that was not in Love. While these young Fellows resign their
Stomachs with their Hearts, and drink at the _Idol_ in this manner, we
who come to do Business, or talk Politicks, are utterly poisoned: They
have also Drams for those who are more enamoured than ordinary; and it
is very common for such as are too low in Constitution to ogle the
_Idol_ upon the Strength of Tea, to fluster themselves with warmer
Liquors: Thus all Pretenders advance, as fast as they can, to a Feaver
or a Diabetes. I must repeat to you, that I do not look with an evil
Eye upon the Profit of the _Idols_, or the Diversion of the Lovers;
what I hope from this Remonstrance, is only that we plain People may
not be served as if we were Idolaters; but that from the time of
publishing this in your Paper, the _Idols_ would mix Ratsbane only for
their Admirers, and take more care of us who don't love them.
I am,
_SIR,
Yours_,
T.T. [2]