[Footnote 2: The four kings Te Yee Neen Ho Ga Prow, Sa Ga Yean Qua Rash
Tow, E Tow O Koam, and Oh Nee Yeath Ton Now Prow, were chiefs of the
Iroquois Indians who had been persuaded by adjacent British colonists to
come and pay their respects to Queen Anne, and see for themselves the
untruth of the assertion made among them by the Jesuits, that the
English and all other nations were vassals to the French king. They were
said also to have been told that the Saviour was born in France and
crucified in England.]
[Footnote 3: polished Marble]
[Footnote 4: those]
[Footnote 5: Men of the greatest Perfections in their Country]
[Footnote 6: There was, among other fancies, a patch cut to the pattern
of a coach and horses. Suckling, in verses 'upon the Black Spots worn by
my Lady D. E.,' had called them her
... Mourning weeds for Hearts forlorn,
Which, though you must not love, you could not scorn,]
* * * * *
No. 51. Saturday, April 28, 1711. Steele.
'Torquet ab Obscenis jam nunc Sermonibus Aurem.'
Hor.
Mr. Spectator,
'My Fortune, Quality, and Person are such as render me as Conspicuous
as any Young Woman in Town. It is in my Power to enjoy it in all its
Vanities, but I have, from a very careful Education, contracted a
great Aversion to the forward Air and Fashion which is practised in
all Publick Places and Assemblies. I attribute this very much to the
Stile and Manners of our Plays: I was last Night at the _Funeral_,
where a Confident Lover in the Play, speaking of his Mistress, cries
out:
_Oh that_ Harriot! _to fold these Arms about the Waste of that
Beauteous strugling, and at last yielding Fair!_ [1]
Such an Image as this ought, by no means, to be presented to a Chaste
and Regular Audience. I expect your Opinion of this Sentence, and
recommend to your Consideration, as a SPECTATOR, the conduct of the
Stage at present with Relation to Chastity and Modesty.
_I am, SIR,
Your Constant Reader
and Well-wisher._
The Complaint of this Young Lady is so just, that the Offence is [great
[2]] enough to have displeased Persons who cannot pretend to that
Delicacy and Modesty, of which she is Mistress. But there is a great
deal to be said in Behalf of an Author: If the Audience would but
consider the Difficulty of keeping up a sprightly Dialogue for five Acts
together, they would allow a Writer, when he wants Wit, and can't please
any otherwise, to help it out with a little Smuttiness. I will answer
for the Poets, that no one ever writ Bawdy for any other Reason but
Dearth of Invention. When the Author cannot strike out of himself any
more of that which he has superior to those who make up the Bulk of his
Audience, his natural Recourse is to that which he has in common with
them; and a Description which gratifies a sensual Appetite will please,
when the Author has nothing [about him to delight [3]] a refined
Imagination. It is to such a Poverty we must impute this and all other
Sentences in Plays, which are of this Kind, and which are commonly
termed Luscious Expressions.
This Expedient, to supply the Deficiencies of Wit, has been used more or
less, by most of the Authors who have succeeded on the Stage; tho' I
know but one who has professedly writ a Play upon the Basis of the
Desire of Multiplying our Species, and that is the Polite Sir _George
Etherege;_ if I understand what the Lady would be at, in the Play called
_She would if She could._ Other Poets have, here and there, given an
Intimation that there is this Design, under all the Disguises and
Affectations which a Lady may put on; but no Author, except this, has
made sure Work of it, and put the Imaginations of the Audience upon this
one Purpose, from the Beginning to the End of the Comedy. It has always
fared accordingly; for whether it be, that all who go to this Piece
would if they could, or that the Innocents go to it, to guess only what
_She would if She could_, the Play has always been well received.
It lifts an heavy empty Sentence, when there is added to it a lascivious
Gesture of Body; and when it is too low to be raised even by that, a
flat Meaning is enlivened by making it a double one. Writers, who want
_Genius_, never fail of keeping this Secret in reserve, to create a
Laugh, or raise a Clap. I, who know nothing of Women but from seeing
Plays, can give great Guesses at the whole Structure of the fair Sex, by
being innocently placed in the Pit, and insulted by the Petticoats of
their Dancers; the Advantages of whose pretty Persons are a great Help
to a dull Play. When a Poet flags in writing Lusciously, a pretty Girl
can move Lasciviously, and have the same good Consequence for the
Author. Dull Poets in this Case use their Audiences, as dull Parasites
do their Patrons; when they cannot longer divert [them [4]] with their
Wit or Humour, they bait [their [5]] Ears with something which is
agreeable to [their [6]] Temper, though below [their [7]] Understanding.
_Apicius_ cannot resist being pleased, if you give him an Account of a
delicious Meal; or _Clodius_, if you describe a Wanton Beauty: Tho' at
the same time, if you do not awake those Inclinations in them, no Men
are better Judges of what is just and delicate in Conversation. But as I
have before observed, it is easier to talk to the Man, than to the Man
of Sense.
It is remarkable, that the Writers of least Learning are best skilled in
the luscious Way. The Poetesses of the Age have done Wonders in this
kind; and we are obliged to the Lady who writ _Ibrahim_ [8], for
introducing a preparatory Scene to the very Action, when the Emperor
throws his Handkerchief as a Signal for his Mistress to follow him into
the most retired Part of the Seraglio. It must be confessed his
_Turkish_ Majesty went off with a good Air, but, methought, we made but
a sad Figure who waited without. This ingenious Gentlewoman, in this
piece of Bawdry, refined upon an Author of the same Sex, [9] who, in the
_Rover_, makes a Country Squire strip to his Holland Drawers. For
_Blunt_ is disappointed, and the Emperor is understood to go on to the
utmost. The Pleasantry of stripping almost Naked has been since
practised (where indeed it should have begun) very successfully at
_Bartholomew_ Fair.
It is not here to be omitted, that in one of the above-mentioned Female
Compositions, the _Rover_ is very frequently sent on the same Errand; as
I take it, above once every Act. This is not wholly unnatural; for, they
say, the Men-Authors draw themselves in their chief Characters, and the
Women-Writers may be allowed the same Liberty. Thus, as the Male Wit
gives his Hero a [good] Fortune, the Female gives her Heroin a great
Gallant, at the End of the Play. But, indeed, there is hardly a Play one
can go to, but the Hero or fine Gentleman of it struts off upon the same
account, and leaves us to consider what good Office he has put us to, or
to employ our selves as we please. To be plain, a Man who frequents
Plays would have a very respectful Notion of himself, were he to
recollect how often he has been used as a Pimp to ravishing Tyrants, or
successful Rakes. When the Actors make their _Exit_ on this good
Occasion, the Ladies are sure to have an examining Glance from the Pit,
to see how they relish what passes; and a few lewd Fools are very ready
to employ their Talents upon the Composure or Freedom of their Looks.
Such Incidents as these make some Ladies wholly absent themselves from
the Play-House; and others never miss the first Day of a Play, lest it
should prove too luscious to admit their going with any Countenance to
it on the second.
If Men of Wit, who think fit to write for the Stage, instead of this
pitiful way of giving Delight, would turn their Thoughts upon raising it
from good natural Impulses as are in the Audience, but are choked up by
Vice and Luxury, they would not only please, but befriend us at the same
time. If a Man had a mind to be new in his way of Writing, might not he
who is now represented as a fine Gentleman, tho' he betrays the Honour
and Bed of his Neighbour and Friend, and lies with half the Women in the
Play, and is at last rewarded with her of the best Character in it; I
say, upon giving the Comedy another Cast, might not such a one divert
the Audience quite as well, if at the Catastrophe he were found out for
a Traitor, and met with Contempt accordingly? There is seldom a Person
devoted to above one Darling Vice at a time, so that there is room
enough to catch at Men's Hearts to their Good and Advantage, if the
Poets will attempt it with the Honesty which becomes their Characters.
There is no Man who loves his Bottle or his Mistress, in a manner so
very abandoned, as not to be capable of relishing an agreeable
Character, that is no way a Slave to either of those Pursuits. A Man
that is Temperate, Generous, Valiant, Chaste, Faithful and Honest, may,
at the same time, have Wit, Humour, Mirth, Good-breeding, and Gallantry.
While he exerts these latter Qualities, twenty Occasions might be
invented to shew he is Master of the other noble Virtues. Such
Characters would smite and reprove the Heart of a Man of Sense, when he
is given up to his Pleasures. He would see he has been mistaken all this
while, and be convinced that a sound Constitution and an innocent Mind
are the true Ingredients for becoming and enjoying Life. All Men of true
Taste would call a Man of Wit, who should turn his Ambition this way, a
Friend and Benefactor to his Country; but I am at a loss what Name they
would give him, who makes use of his Capacity for contrary Purposes.