'It was in the good old time when Ireland was paved with penny loaves
and the houses thatched with pancakes; and there was a king had a son,
and the mother died, and he married another wife; and she had three
daughters, and their names were Catherine Snowflake, and Broad Bridget,
and Mary Anne Bold-eyes, that had two eyes in the front of her head, and
another eye in the back of her poll.
'And the stepmother got to be very wicked to the son then; and she used
to be giving everything to the daughters; but he had nothing but
hardship, and all they would give him to eat was stirabout.
'He was out on the fields one day with the cattle, and there was a
little Black Bull there, and it said to him: "I know the way you are
treated," it said, "and the sort of food they are giving you. And
unscrew now my left horn," he said, "and take what you will find out of
it."
'So the young man unscrewed the left horn; and the first thing he took
out was a napkin, and he spread it out on the grass; and then he took
out cups and plates, and every sort of food, and he sat down and ate and
drank his fill. And then he put back the napkin and all into the horn
again, and screwed it on.
'That was going on every day, and he used to be throwing his stirabout
away into the ash-bin; and the servants found it, and they told the
queen that he was throwing away what they gave him, and getting fat all
the same.
'The queen noticed then that he used to be going every day into the
field with the cattle; and she bade her daughter, Catherine Snowflake,
to go and to watch him there to see what would he be doing.
'But that day when he went up to the little Black Bull, it said: "Your
step-sister will be coming to-day to watch you," he said: "and unscrew
now my right horn, and take out a pin of slumber you will find under it,
and when you see her coming, go and play with her for a bit, and then
put the pin of slumber to her ear, and she will fall asleep." So he did
as the Bull told him; and when he put the pin of slumber to Catherine
Snowflake's ear, she fell into a deep sleep in the grass, and never woke
till evening.
'The next day the queen sent Broad Bridget, that was a great big woman,
to watch the step-brother; but the Bull warned him as before; and he put
the pin of slumber to her ear, and she fell into a deep sleep, and saw
nothing.
'The third day Mary Anne Bold-eyes was sent out, and the brother put her
to sleep the same as he did the others. But if the two front eyes were
shut, the eye at the back of her poll was open; and she saw all that
happened, and she went back that evening and told her mother the way her
step-brother got all he would want out of the Bull's horn.
'The queen sent out then and gathered all her fighting men together to
kill the Bull. And they all surrounded the field where the Bull was; but
there were two or three hundred more cattle in it; and the Bull was
running here and there between them, the way they could not get near
him. And at the end of the second day he made for a gap and broke
through it, and came to where the queen was, and he took her on his
horns and tossed her as high as her own castle. He called to Jack then;
and Jack put a halter on him, and they rode away together where winds
never blew and the cocks never crew, and the old boy himself never
sounded his horn. And they overtook the wind that was before them, and
the wind that was after them couldn't overtake them.
'They came then to a great wood, and the Black Bull said to Jack: "Get
up, now, into the highest tree you can find, and stop there through the
day, for I have to fight with the Red Bull that is coming against me.
And unscrew my right horn," he said; "and take out the little bottle
that is in it, and keep it with you; and if I am well at the end of the
day," he said, "it will be white as it is now."
'The Red Bull came to meet him then, and his head was as big as
another's body would be; and he and the little Black Bull went to fight
together; and Jack stopped up in the tree.
'And in the evening he looked at the little bottle; and what was in it
was as white as before. So he came down, and he found the Black Bull,
and got up on his back again; and they went off the same as before.
'They came then to the wood where the White Bull was, and he came out to
fight the Black; and all happened the same as the first day.
'And Jack came down from his tree and got on his back again; and they
went on to another wood. And the Green Bull came to meet him this time;
and Jack went up in a tree. And at evening he looked at the little
bottle, and it was red up to the cork.
'He got down then, and went to look for the little Black Bull, and he
found him lying on the ground at the point of death; and the Green Bull
gave a great bellow, and made away and left him there.
'And the Black Bull said: "I am going from you now, Jack; but I won't go
without leaving you something," he said. "When I am dead, cut three
strips of hide off me from the nape of the neck to the root of the tail,
and put them about your body; and they'll give you the strength of six
hundred men."'
Jack had many adventures after this; he killed three giants, rescued a
princess from a dragon, and married her. These were told with dramatic
effect; and the other men, young and old, who had gathered round the
teller, cried out at each new splendid adventure: 'Good boy, Peter;
that's it; bring it out.' And the last words, telling how Jack and his
Princess 'put on the kettle and made the tea,' were drowned in applause
and laughter, and clapping of hands.
But I had already heard that part of the story, in almost the same
words, in Gort Workhouse; and had given it to Mr. Yeats for his 'Celtic
Twilight,' so I need not put it down here.
* * * * *
Then an old man said: 'There was a young man one time was out hunting;
and as he was going home, he heard the cry of a child beside a sand-pit.
And he got off his horse to look what was it; and it was a young little
child was there, a girl. And he took her up on the horse and wrapped her
up, and brought her home to his mother. And they reared her up, and she
grew to be a beautiful young girl; and the young man thought the world
and all of her.
'But he got some sickness and died. And the mother was fretting for him
always; and she shut up his room and locked it, that no one could go in.
And she did not like to be looking at the young girl, because of the son
being so fond of her; and she looked for a way to get rid of her.
'So she sent her out on a message into a wood that had wild beasts in
it, and she thought they would make an end of her. And the girl went
astray there, and lay down and slept for the night. And the beasts came
and lay down beside her, and did her no harm at all. And there she was
found in the morning, asleep among them.
'Then the mother thought of another way to get rid of her; and she bade
her to go to the son's grave and to spend the night there. So she went
as she was told; and she was crying on the grass. And then the young
man came up out of it, and it is what he said: "My mother thought I
would harm you if you came here, but I will not harm you; I will help
you. And take these three gray hairs from my head," he said, "and bring
them back with you. And for every one of them my mother will have to
grant you a request. And it is what you will ask her, to open my room
that she has locked up for a day and a night. And at the end of a year,
you will ask the same thing of her, and again at the end of another
year."
'So the girl went back, and she asked to have the door opened, and she
went in and stopped there for a day and a night. And at the end of the
year she did the same, and again at the end of the third year.
'And after a while the mother said one day: "I wonder what she wanted in
that room, and what she was doing in it." And she opened the door, and
there she saw a fire on the hearth, and the girl sitting one side of it,
and a child in her lap, and the son sitting the other side, and two
children in his lap. For she had brought him back from the grave.
'And the son said: "What is wanting to me now is someone that will go
and spend seven years in hell for my sake, to save my soul." "I will do
that for you," said the mother. "It would be no use you going," he said.
"I will do it," said the girl.
'So he said she might go; and he gave a spoon that would give her drink,
and a ring that would give her food, so long as she would keep them.
'So she went down to hell, and she stopped there seven years; and
through all that time she got no rest, only on Sundays.
'And at the end of the seven years, she was going out, and she heard a
voice saying: "Will you stop another seven years to save your father's
soul?" "I will do that," she said. "Do not," they said; "for your father
gave you no care, and did nothing for you." "No matter," she said; "I
will give another seven years to save his soul."
'And at the end of the second seven years she was going out; and her
mother, that had done nothing for her, asked her to stop another seven
years for her soul; and she did that. And at the end of the twenty-one
years, they gave her the three souls in a napkin, and she went out.
'And as she was going home, she met with an old man, and he said: "Give
me what you have there." "Who are you?" "I am Almighty God," he said. "I
will not give them to you," said the girl. And after a little time she
met with another old man, and he said: "Give me what you have there."
"Who are you?" she said. "I am Jesus Christ." "I will not give them to
you;" and she went on. Then the third time she met with an old man, and
he asked for what she had in the napkin. "Who are you?" she asked. "I am
the King of Sunday." "Then I will give them to you," she said; "for in
all the twenty-one years I went through, I got no rest at all but on the
Sunday."
'She went home then; and at first they didn't know her, where she was so
long away; and when the children came down to see her in the kitchen,
they didn't know her.
'But when the man of the house knew she was in it, he went down and gave
her a great welcome back to himself and the children again.'
* * * * *
Then another old man said: 'There was a king that used to make rules and
to break rules, and that was very cunning; and he wanted to get a good
wife for his son. So he sent him out one day to look for a girl that he
would fancy, and he brought one in. And the old king showed her a whole
lot of gold and of treasures; and he said: "What would you do if all
this was yours?" "I would sit down and do nothing else but enjoy it,"
she said.
'So the king said to his son that she wouldn't suit, and that he should
go look for another girl, rich or poor. So he brought in a poor girl;
and the king showed her the treasure, and he said: "What would you do if
all this belonged to you?" And she said: "Whenever I would take a
sovereign out of it, I would try to put back two."
'So he said she would do, and that the son might marry her. But the girl
said: "I will be well treated while you are in it; but some day you
might be gone, and my husband mightn't treat me so well. And make him
give me his promise now," she said, "that if ever he turns me out of the
house, I may bring three ass-loads of whatever I myself will choose
along with me." So he gave her his promise she might do that.
'Then the old king died; and the young one was, like himself, a
law-maker and a law-breaker. And he thought a great deal of his own
wisdom, and of the judgments he would give.
'Now, at that time there was a man had a mare that had a foal in a
field; and in the field next it there was an old _garran_; and there was
a little stream that made the mering between the two fields. And the
foal took a habit of crossing over the stream to the other field where
the _garran_ was; and it got to be so friendly with him, and so fond of
him, that at last it was hardly it would come back at all. And the man
the other field belonged to laid a claim to it, where it was always in
his ground.
'So the case was brought before the king; and he thought a long time,
and at last he said to put the foal in a house that had two doors, one
on each side, and to put the _garran_ outside one door and the mare
outside the other, and to see which would the foal follow. And they did
that, and the foal followed the _garran_, and it was given to the owner.
'And the man it was taken from was vexed; and he went to the queen, and
he told the injustice that was done to him. And she bade him to get a
fishing-rod, and to go fishing in the river; and when the king would go
by, to turn and to be fishing on the dry land.
'So he did that; and when the king was coming by, he turned and began
fishing on the dry land. And the king stopped and asked why was he doing
that. And the answer he gave was: "I think it no more foolish to be
fishing on dry land than to believe that a foal would belong to a
_garran_."
'When the king heard that, he guessed it was his own wife had given the
answer to the man; and he went back and asked was it true she had put
the man up to do what he had done. "It is true," she said. "Then you may
clear out of this," he said, "and go back to your own place; for I won't
keep a wife in the house that will be upsetting my judgments." "I must
go if you bid me to," she said; "but do you remember your promise to me,
to bring away three ass-loads with me of whatever I would choose?" "You
may do that," he said. So she got the three asses, and on the first she
put her clothes and some money. And on the second she put her two
children. And then she came back to her husband and stooped down before
him. "Get up on my back," she said, "till I put you on the ass, for it
is yourself I choose to bring along with me for my third load. So long
as I have you and the children with me, what do I care where I go?" "If
that is so," said the king, "you may as well bring in your things again
and stop with me. And I will never drive you away again," he said.'
* * * * *
Another man said: 'There was a man in Ballinasloe Asylum that was not
very mad--just a little mad--and he used to be raking about the gate.
And there was a clock over the gate; and one day the doctor was going
out, and he took his watch out and looked up, and he said to himself,
"That clock is not right." "If it was right, it wouldn't be in here,"
said the man that was raking.'
* * * * *
'I have a sorrowful story,' says another man. 'I am blind, and I hurt my
hip. And I have a brother fighting for the Queen and for the King, and a
son fighting against the Boers, and neither of them ever sent me
anything.' (But this was received without much sympathy, and with what I
imagine to represent derisive cheers.)
* * * * *
A very wild-looking man told 'on behalf of a poor man inside'--to get
him a bit of tobacco--a long story about a farmer who worked hard
himself, to give his sons time for schooling.
'One of them made money in the West Indies by teaching, and he came
back; and his mother was in the house, and she didn't know him; and he
asked might he stop the night. "Indeed, I can't give you leave to do
that," she said; "for a travelling man stopped for a night not long ago;
and when he went away in the morning, he brought with him the flannel
bawneen and the pants of the man of the house, that were hanging on the
hedge to dry. But stop here for a while," she said, "and rest yourself."
'Presently the father came in, and didn't know him; and when he heard
what the wife had said, he was vexed, and said: "A thousand men might
come the road, and not one of them do what that travelling man did. And
I am sorry, sir," he said, "that my wife gave you such a reason."
'Then the potatoes were ready, and they were put on a skip for the
dinner; and they asked the gentleman to help himself; and they gave him
a knife but it had but half a blade; and they said they were sorry to
have no better a one to give him. But he peeled his potatoes with that.
'And then some one came in and asked would the young people come in and
join a dance, for there was a piper in the next house. And the stranger
asked to go with them. But at every dance-house there is a blackguard,
and there was one there; and he began to mock at the strange gentleman.
And one of his brothers that didn't know he was his brother, said to the
blackguard: "It's a very mean thing of you to mock at a stranger." But
he went on doing it.
'Then the stranger got up and went over to where his sister was, and
slipped a letter into her apron that told who he was. And then he
quenched the dip-candle over her, that was lighting the house, and he
made for the man that mocked him, and gave him a blow that sent him into
the hearth, and then he made away.
'And it was a long time before they could find the candle; and when it
was lighted, the man was found dead on the hearth. And the sister read
the letter; but she did not tell it was her own brother had come home.
'But after that he got a good place in the West Indies, and sent for
them all there.'
* * * * *
Then an old man said: 'I was minding a man in the hospital one time, and
he was lying quiet in the bed; and the priest came in to see him, Father
Kearns. And all of a sudden he made one leap, and was out of the bed,
and bade the priest to be off out of that. And the priest made for the
door; and I stood in the way of the man till he got out; and then I got
out myself, and shut the door. He was brought away to Ballinasloe Asylum
after. But if it wasn't for me, Father Kearns wouldn't have got safe
out.
'That's my story.'
* * * * *
The first old man said: 'There was a man one time went to the market to
sell a cow; and he sold her, and he took a drop of drink after; and
instead of going home, he went into a sort of a barn where there was
straw stored, and he fell asleep there.
'And in the night some men came in, and he heard them talking. And they
had a lot of silver plate with them, they were after stealing from some
house in the town, and they were hiding it in the straw till they would
come and bring it away again.
'And he said nothing, and kept quiet till morning; and then he went out;
and the people in the town were talking of nothing else but the great
robbery of silver plate in the night. And no one knew who had done it;
and the man came forward, and told them where the silver plate was, and
who the men were that stole it; and the things were found, and the men
convicted. But he did not let on how he had come to know it, or that he
had slept in the barn.
'So he got a great name; and when he went home, his landlord heard of
it; and he sent for him, and he said: "I am missing things this good
while, and the last thing I lost was a diamond ring. Tell me who was it
stole that," he said. "I can't tell you," said the man. "Well," said the
landlord, "I will lock you up in a room for three days; and if you can't
tell me by the end of that time who stole the ring, I'll put you to
death."
'So he was locked up; and in the evening the butler brought him in his
supper. And when he saw evening was come, he said: "There's one of
them," meaning there was one of the three days gone.
'But the butler went down stairs in a great fright; for he was one of
the servants that had stolen the ring, and he said to the others: "He
knew me, and he said, 'There's one of them.' And I won't go near him
again," he said; "but let one of you go."
'So the next evening the cook went up with the supper, and when she came
in, he said the same way as before: "There's two of them," meaning there
was another day gone. And the cook went down like the butler had gone,
making sure he knew that she had a share in the robbery.
'The next day the third of the servants--that was the housemaid--brought
him his supper; and he gave a great sigh, and said: "There's the third
of them." So she went down and told the others; and they agreed it was
best to make a confession to him; and they went and told him of their
robberies; and they brought him the diamond ring; and they asked him to
try and screen them some way; so he said he would do his best for them,
and he said: "I see a big turkey-gobbler out in the yard; and what you
had best do is to open his mouth," he said, "and to force the ring down
it."
'So they did that. And then the landlord came up and asked could he tell
him where the thief was to be found. "Kill that turkey-gobbler in the
yard," he said, "and see what can you find in him." So they killed the
turkey-gobbler, and cut him open, and there they found the diamond ring.
'Then the landlord gave him great rewards, and everyone in the country
heard of him.
'And a neighbouring gentleman that heard of him said to the landlord:
"I'll make a bet with you that if you bring him to dinner at my house,
he won't be able to tell what is under a cover on the table." So the
landlord brought him; and when he was brought in, they asked him what
was in the dish with the cover; and he thought he was done for, and he
said: "The fox is caught at last." And what was under the cover but a
fox! So whatever name he had before, he got a three times greater name
now.
'But another gentleman made the same bet with the landlord; and when
they came into the dinner, there was a dish with a cover, and the man
had no notion what was under it; and he said: "Robin's done this
time"--his own name being Robin. And what was there under the cover but
a robin! So he got great rewards after that, and he settled down and
lived happy ever after.'
* * * * *
Then a red-faced young man said: 'There was a young man one time, and
his name was Stepney St. George, and his people said it was time for him
to get married; and they brought twelve young ladies to stop in the
house, the way he would make a choice among them. And he used to be
talking with them and walking in the garden; and there was one of them
he got to like better than the rest, and the others got jealous of her,
and used to be picking at her. And when Stepney saw that, he brought her
out one day into a field where there was a bull, and he covered with
rings and bells of gold, and a golden door in his side. And he opened
the door and bade her to go in there, where she would be safe from the
other eleven women.
'So she went in and he shut the door; and the others did not know where
was she gone, and they were looking for her in every place. And they
came to where the bull was; and they began looking at him and touching
him, and just by chance one of them touched a bell, and the door opened,
and there was the young lady inside. And they took her out, and brought
her into the house; and she was sitting on the window-seat looking out
at the river. And they pushed her over, and she fell into the water and
was swept away.
'As to Stepney St. George, he was looking for her everywhere, but he
could not find her. And one day he saw a poor travelling woman trying to
cross the river, and she fell into it. And he thought it might be that
way his own young lady was lost.
'And that put it in his mind to build a bridge across the river, and he
got all the men that could be got, and they set to work. And they had a
good bit of it made before night. But in the night all they had made of
it was swept away. And the next day they were building again, and they
sat up to watch it that night. But all the same it was all gone before
morning, and they did not see anyone near it.
'The third night, Stepney St. George himself sat up to watch. And at
last he saw a great black eagle, and it came flying towards the bridge;
and, when it saw him, it called out: "What are you doing building this
bridge to be in my way? I swept it away the last two nights, and I'll
sweep it away again now." "If you do, I'll get satisfaction from you,"
said Stepney. "You will have to find me for that," she said. "And my
name is Mother Longfield, and my house is at the other end of the
world." And with that she went away; and Stepney followed everywhere
looking for her; and at last he came to a house, and an old witch came
out, and she told him her name was Mother Longfield. "And I've got you
here now in my power," she said, "and you will have to do all the work I
will give you to do."
'So she brought him out then to a stable; and she gave him a fork, and
bade him clear out all the dung and litter that was in it. So he began
the work; but for every forkful he would throw out, two would come in
its place, so that at last there was no room for him in the stable, and
he had to go outside.
'A young girl came up to him then, and she asked what was the matter.
And he told her all that had happened; and she said, "I will help you."
So she took out a little fork, and she went into the stable; and it
wasn't long before she had it sweet and clean, that you could eat your
dinner off the floor.
'He went back then to the house, and the witch was at the door, and she
asked how did he get on. "Very well," he said. "I have the whole stable
cleaned out, sweet and clean." She looked very sharp at him then; and
she said: "Take care did Lanka Pera help you?" But he let on not to hear
her, and made no answer.
'The next day she gave him a hatchet that was as blunt as a blunt knife;
and she told him there was a forest he should cut down before night, or
she would make an end of him. So he went to the forest and began to cut;
but as he cut, it grew thicker and thicker, and the trees that were
saplings in the morning were large trees before afternoon. So when he
saw there was no use going on, he stopped. And then he saw the young
girl again, and she said: "I am come to help you." And she took out a
small hatchet, and began to cut, and before long the whole forest was
levelled down.
'He went back to the house whistling and singing; and he told the witch
he had cut down the forest, and she asked did Lanka Pera help him. But
he said she did not--for she had told him not to let on he had seen her
at all.
'The third day the witch showed him a hill a good way off, and a wild
horse on it; and she said what he had to do was to catch the horse, and
if he did not do that, it was his last day to live.
'So he began hunting the horse, and trying to catch it; but he could
never get near it at all. Then the girl came to him, and she said: "You
will never be able to catch it without my help. And I will turn myself
into a mare," she said; "and you can get on my back. But remember," she
said, "not to put the spurs into me whatever may happen." She turned
herself into a mare then, and he got on her back. And the old witch came
out then and she called to Stepney: "Don't spare the spurs."
'They galloped off then after the wild horse, but they never could come
up with it. And at last, in the heat of the race, Stepney forgot what
the girl had said, and he pressed the spurs into the side of the mare
till the blood came down.'
('Oh murder!' and a groan of pity from all the old men.)
'Then the mare fell, and the mare was gone; and it was the girl he saw
before him, and her sides bleeding. And it is then he knew she was the
young girl had been stolen from him at his own place after he shutting
her up in the bull.
'She went then and called to the wild horse, and he came to her; and
they both of them got up on him, and they went back to the witch's
house. And when they got near it, the girl got up and turned herself
into a mare again. And the witch came out to meet them, and she said: "I
see you didn't spare the spur."
'And the witch said Stepney might have the girl if he could choose her
out of thirteen. And he did that. And the witch wanted to keep her from
him yet, but he wouldn't give her up; and he brought her to a house that
was close by; and they made a plan to escape in the night; and they made
the two horses ready to bring them away. And the girl made two cakes;
and she left them with some of the servants, and she said: "The witch
will be coming in to watch us for the night, and she will ask for a
story; and stick a knife into one of the cakes when she asks that," she
said.
'So they made off then by the back door; and the witch came to watch the
house; and she said to the maid: "Tell me a story now while I'm
waiting." So she stuck a knife in one of the cakes, and it began to
tell a story; and the witch sat there listening to it.
'And when it was done, she asked for another story; and the maid stuck a
knife in another of the cakes, and it began to tell a story. And when
that was done, the witch asked for another story, and the maid stuck a
knife in the third cake, and it is what it said: "The two you think you
are watching are off, and are on the way back to their own home."
'When the witch heard that, she took the shape of an eagle on her; and
she flew out after them, and she came in sight of them. And they looked
back, and saw her coming like a big black cloud in the air; and the girl
said to Stepney: "Take the bit of wood you'll find in the horse's ear,
and throw it behind you." And he did that, and a great forest grew up
behind them; and it is hardly the eagle could fly over it.
'Then they saw her coming again; and the girl said: "Take the drop of
water you will find in the horse's other ear, and throw it down behind
you." And when he did that, there was a great sea behind them; and the
eagle found it hard to pass it, but it did at last.
'And when she was coming up with them again, the girl took a bit of
stone was in her own horse's ear, and threw it behind them. And a great
mountain rose up, that kept back the eagle for a time. And then she took
a brass ball out of the other ear, and she gave it to Stepney; and bade
him to throw it at a white mole that was on the eagle's breast. So he
made a shot with it, and hit the eagle, and it fell dead there and then.
'Then the girl said to Stepney: "There is no danger now between us and
home. But have a care," she said, "when you get home not to let a dog
touch your face in any way, or you will forget me and all that has
happened."
'So he said he would remember that. But when he got home and sat down in
the house, his little lap-dog jumped up on him and licked his face. And
on the moment he forgot all that had happened, and the girl he had
brought home.
'And after a while he was going to be married to another lady, and all
was ready for the wedding; and a poor-looking girl came to the door. And
the servants bade her to go away, for the grand people in the house
would not want her. "I think I have something would amuse them," she
said. "I have a cock and a hen that can talk the same as living people."
'So when the company heard that, they sent for her; and she went up, and
she put out the cock and the hen on the table, and she threw down a few
grains of oats; and when the hen was going to pick at it, the cock drove
her away. And the hen said then: "You should not do that, after the way
I helped you, cleaning out the stable you were not able to clean by
yourself." But Stepney took no notice of what she was saying.
'Then she threw a little more oats, and the cock was taking it all for
himself. And the hen said again: "You should not do that, when you
remember how I helped you to cut down the forest." But still Stepney
took no notice of what was being said. Then she threw a little more
oats, and the cock was shoving the hen away, and the hen said: "You
would not have treated me this way the time I caught the horse for you,
after you driving the spurs into my side."
'And with that Stepney remembered all; and he jumped up, and drove all
the others away, and took her for his wife, and they lived happy ever
after.'
* * * * *
Another old man said: 'There was a mouse one time said to a robin, that
they would lay up a store of provisions together against the winter. And
he bade the robin to go up in the hedges and to be picking berries, and
he would have the hole ready to put them in. And then he said: "Let you
go to where they are threshing wheat; for if they saw me there, they
would kill me; but if they see you, they'll be throwing grains to you."
'So the robin went and brought back the grains; and when the hole was
full, the mouse said: "I have enough for myself now, and go and look
after your own house-keeping for the winter."
'So the robin was vexed; and they agreed to go fight it out. And when
the day came, all the animals came together, and all the birds of the
air. And the place they fought was in a field before a big house. And
they fought till all were dead but one eagle.
'And the young man of the house came out and looked at the field; and he
saw the eagle moving, and it said to him: "Go in now, and bring me out
three sheaves of wheat." So he did that; and the eagle nicked the grain
off two of the sheaves, and then he was strong. And he said: "I will
bring you now on a voyage if you will come with me. But go in first to
the house and bring me out a bit of yellow soap." So he got the bit of
soap; and the eagle took him and the soap and the sheaf on its back, and
flew away. And at last it began to get tired and to droop; and the place
where it dropped was in the middle of the sea. And the young man said:
"I don't like this, to be left down into the sea." Then the eagle bade
him to throw away the bit of yellow soap, and where he threw it there
came a green island. And they rested on it, and eat the grain from the
sheaf they had with them.
'Then the eagle took him up again; and when they came to land, it threw
him down. And there was a house near, and a giant came out of it; and he
brought him in, and said to his servant: "Give him barley bread to
fatten him, and when he is fat enough, I will eat him."'
(Then he was given tasks to do, and a girl came to help him, much as
Lanka Pera helped Stepney St. George in the other story.)
'And afterwards the girl said to him that they would make their escape;
and they got into a boat; and what she brought with her was the three
young pups of the dog that minded the giant's house.
'And when they had gone a little way on the sea, the giant missed them;
and he sent the dog after them to bring the girl back. But as soon as
the dog came close to them, and opened its mouth to take hold of her,
she put one of the pups into it, and it turned back to the shore again
to bring the pup safe to land. And the giant was very angry when he saw
it coming without the girl, and he sent it after them again. And the
girl did the same thing as before, and put the second pup into its
mouth, that it turned back again. And the giant sent it back the third
time, and gave it great abuse for coming to shore without her. And the
third time she dropped the pup into the water, for she was vexed, the
dog to come so often. And the dog would not pick it up at first, for he
was afraid to pick it up again after all the abuse he got from the
giant. But when he saw it going to drown, he took it up and turned back,
and they were free of him then.
'And they came to land; and the young man left the girl down by a
shoemaker's house while he went on to make all ready for her at his own
house. But she bade him not to let a dog lick his face or touch it, or
he would forget all about her. But when he went in, his dog jumped up
and licked his face; and he forgot the girl or that he ever had seen
her.
'And as for her, she waited; and he did not come back, and she knew no
one in the place; and she went up in a tree that was over the well in
the shoemaker's garden to hide herself. And after a while the shoemaker
sent out one of his daughters to the well to bring in water. And when
she stooped down, she saw the shadow of the girl in the tree, and she
thought it was herself, and she said: "My father should not be sending
such a handsome girl as that to be bringing in water;" and she threw the
tin can down against a wall and broke it, and went in.
'Then the shoemaker sent out the second daughter for water; and she
stooped down; and she thought it was her own face she saw; and she no
better-looking than myself, and that's not saying much.' (Applause from
all the old men.) 'So she wouldn't bring the water, but went in without
it.
'Then he sent his missus out, that was the ugliest you ever saw--old and
withered. But that did not hinder her from thinking the shadow she saw
was herself; and it is proud she was going into the house again.
'So at last the shoemaker himself went out, and when he stooped and saw
the shadow, he looked up in the tree, and he said: "Come down out of
that, for you have given me trouble enough." So she came down, and told
him her story; and he brought her to the young man's house.' (The cock
and hen now come in as in Lanka Pera.) 'And they lived happily ever
after.'
* * * * *
Another says: 'There was a young man killed a deer one time he was out
hunting. And a lion and a hound and a hawk came by, and they asked a
share of it. And he gave the flesh to the lion, and the bones to the
dog, and the guts to the hawk. And they thanked him; and they said from
that time he would have the strength of a lion, and the quickness of a
hound, and the lightness of a hawk.
'It was a good while after that he fell in love with a young girl; and
her father said that before he could marry her he must go out and see
who was it was stealing his cows; for there were some of them stolen
every night.
'So he watched, and he saw a witch coming and driving them away. And he
attacked her, and fought with her, and beat her by his strength, and she
made off. And he went to the place she had driven the cows, that was
underground, and he found the cows belonging to the whole neighbourhood.
And he drove them all out, and gave them to the owners.
'And after a little time the father said to him, that there was a fox in
the country, that no hound could catch, and that it was to be hunted
again on the next day. So the young man went out, and when he saw the
fox, he took the shape of a hound and followed it. And he was gaining on
it, and it took to a lake, and he went in after it, and it turned to its
own shape of a witch, and dragged him down.
'The girl used to go and be looking at the lake every day, but she never
got a sight of him. And at last, someone told her those water-witches
were very fond of music, and to get a musical instrument. So she brought
a musical instrument to the side of the lake, and she was playing it;
and the witch put up her hand out of the water. "What will you take for
that?" she said. "I will give it to you," the girl said, "if you will
let me see my husband's head above the water." "I will do that much for
you," said the witch.
'Then the young man put up his head above the water, and she could see
his face; but she could not touch him, and she went away.
'The next day she came again with a musical instrument that was better
again than the first, and she began to play it. The witch put up her
hand, and asked what would she take for it. "Let me see my husband to
his waist this time," she said. So the young man was let up out of the
water as far as his waist, and then he disappeared again.
'The next day she came again, and the musical instrument she brought
with her was seven times better than the other two. "What will you take
for that?" said the witch. "Let my husband stand up on your shoulders,
clear and clean out of the water," she said. So the witch put him up on
her shoulder; and when she did, he took the shape of a hawk on the
moment, and away with him through the air, back to his own home again.
'The witch followed him then; and when he was in a field, she came to
fight him, and they fought the whole day, and they were both tired, and
they stopped to rest. "Oh, if I had three drops of sea-water and a
crumb of wheaten bread!" said the witch. "Oh, if I had three drops of
fresh water and a crumb of barley bread!" said the young man.
'And a fairy brought the witch the three drops of sea-water and the
crumb of bread. And a little serving-girl from the farm brought the
young man the three drops of fresh water and the crumb of bread. And
then they fought together again; and he having the strength of a lion,
he killed her in the end.'
* * * * *
Another old man said: 'There was a young man looking for service one
time; and a farmer said he would take him to mind his cattle. For a
great many of his cattle had died with the herds he had, and he didn't
know what the reason was.
So the first morning the young man led them up as he was told, to the
green grassy place on the top of Cruachmaa. And when he looked about him
there, he noticed it to be very dirty and trampled by the cattle. So he
brought them to graze in the fields at the side of the hill; and he came
back, and cleared all the dirt from that field till it was green and
smooth. And no more of the cattle died.
'He was up in the field one day, and he saw a great hurling match going
on; and one side had a young man at the head of it, and it was beating
the other. So the next day he went to the wood, and he cut a hurl; and
he was all that day and the next shaping it; and his mother asked was
he going to a match, and he said he was only amusing himself with it.
'The next night he went up to the field to give a hand; and the king of
the fairies came up to him, and asked would he join his side that was
the weakest, and he said he would. And he drove the ball to the goal
every time, and they gave the other side a great beating. And the king
of the fairies thanked him, and said they had been able to do nothing
till they had a living person along with them.
'Then the king asked would he come along with him to bring away the King
of Spain's daughter that he wanted for a wife. And the young man agreed
to that. And the king raised them both into the air as if they were a
wisp of straw; and they flew away on the air like two feathers.
'When they came to the court of the King of Spain, there was a great
ball going on; and they went in, but no one could see them. And the
fairy king said to the young man that he would know which was the
princess by hearing her sneeze. And presently the most beautiful young
lady that was there gave a sneeze; and the young man said, "God bless
her." "Don't say that again," said the fairy king, "or she'll be lost to
us." So she sneezed twice after that, and he said nothing. And then the
fairy king said: "Let you take hold of her now and bring her out, and I
will make something in her own shape to put in her place, the way they
won't miss her." So the young man took a hold of her and brought her
outside; and then the fairy king came out, and they went away like
feathers in the air.
'And when they came to Irish land, the fairy king said: "Now you may
give her to me." "Indeed I will not," said the young man, "after all the
trouble I went through; but I will keep her for myself to be my own
wife." "If you do," said the fairy king "you will have nothing better
than a stone, for she will have no speech."
'But the young man brought her to his own house; and his mother seeing
her in her ball dress, thought it was one of the ladies from Castle
Hacket come for a visit, and she was astonished when the son said she
was to be his wife. But all the time she could not speak; and at last
the young man went up to the field on the hill, and he brought a
tar-barrel with him, and he gathered sticks and ferns, and put them all
around, and began to set fire to them.
'Then the fairy king came and asked what was he doing. "I am burning you
out of the place," he said, "till you give back speech to my wife." So
the king agreed to that, and they made friends again; and the young man
went home, and found his wife speaking. And she wrote a letter then to
her father and mother, the King and Queen of Spain; and they were very
glad to hear that she was well, and they sent her money and clothes of
all sorts.
'Then the fairy king came and asked the young man to go with him to
Germany to help him to bring back a wife for himself from the king's
court there. So he agreed to go; and before he went, the wife said:
"When you come back, you will bring a title for yourself and put an O to
your name. And it is what you must do," she said, "when you are near the
land, cut off your hand, and throw it on the shore, and bring it back to
me after."
'So they went to Germany, and brought away a wife for the fairy king.
And when they were coming home and were near the strand, the young man
cut off his hand, and threw it on the land.
'And his wife put the hand on to him again after; and he was O'Connor
from that time, that was the first of all; and the fairy king put an O
to his name, and he was O'Neill, that was second.
'But now at this time, there isn't a Tom, Dick, or John, but puts an O
before his name.'
* * * * *
An old one-eyed man gave me a new version of Deirdre's story. He said:
'The King of Ulster and his men were out hunting one time; and they met
with the fairy king, Mannanan of the Hill. They sat down with him; and
himself and the King of Ulster began to play cards together, and
whichever of them won could put some command upon the other. It was
Mannanan won; and what he put on the King of Ulster was to follow after
him to whatever place he would go.
'With that he changed into the shape of a hare, and away with him, and
the hounds after him, and the king and his men after them again; but
they lost sight of him. But the hounds followed on till they came to a
hill, and an old stump of a tree on top of it; and they began scratching
at the stump where it was rotten. And when there was a hole scratched in
it, the king looked down; and he saw steps; and he and his men went down
the steps; and they passed through gardens and beside a pond with
flowers about it; and then they came to a big house, and in it an old
man sitting on a chair reading a book; and they knew him to be Mannanan
that they were looking for.
'And he rose up and bade them welcome; and there was a feast spread out
before them, with every sort of food and drink. And while they were at
the feast they heard something like the cry of a child from an inner
room. And the King of Ulster rose up, and he said: "I will go see what
is in there; for that is the cry of a child."
'So he went in; and he came back again, bringing a baby in his arms, the
most beautiful that was ever seen, and her hair like gold. "I will bring
away this child with me, and rear her up," he said. "Do not," said
Mannanan; "for if you do, your country will be destroyed, and your
throne will be lost through her, and there will be a great many killed
for her sake."
'But the king would not mind him; but he brought her away, and he had a
house made for her, and she was reared up in it. And she grew to be a
nice young girl, and there were women about her to care her and to
attend on her; but she never saw a man but the king himself, that used
to come and see her every week. And he had great love for her; and he
thought she loved him.'
The account of Deirdre's meeting with Naoise, and their flight to
Scotland, and the king's message bringing them back, was much the same
as in some of the printed versions; but Mannanan's part at the end was
new to me. The old man went on: 'When they came to Ulster, the king made
an attack on them, to bring away Deirdre from them; but they killed all
that came near them, and drove the whole army back.
'Then the king went to Mannanan of the Hill, and he said: "Come and give
me your help against these men, or they will kill the whole army of
Ulster." And Mannanan said: "I will give you no help; for I told you all
this would come on you if you brought the girl away the time she was a
baby in this place." But the king pressed him, and said: "Put blindness
on them, the way they will not be able to kill my people."
'So Mannanan agreed to do that, and he put blindness on the three
brothers. And when they went out next time to fight against the army,
they could not see who was before them; and it was at each other they
were striking; and at last all of them fell by each other's hand.
'And when Deirdre saw they were dead, she took up a sword or a dagger
that was lying on the ground, and she put it through her own body, and
she fell dead along with them.
'And she was buried on one side of a dry stone wall, and her husband on
the other side. And a briar grew up on his grave, and a briar on hers;
and they met over the wall, and joined with one another.'
* * * * *
A young man, narrow-chested and consumptive-looking, but with fun in his
eyes, said then: 'There were three Irishmen joined the English army, and
they didn't like it. And they were brought to India; and when they were
there, they agreed to make away. So they went into a forest, where they
would not be found. And they made a little cabin for themselves there;
and two of them used to go hunting every day, and the other would stop
at home to make ready the dinner.
'One day when the pot was on the fire, a little old man came into the
house. "Bum-bum," he said; "give me something to eat out of the pot."
'So the soldier gave him a rabbit out of the pot. "Give me another," he
said then. "I will not," said the soldier; "for there would not be
enough for my friends' dinner when they come home from hunting." With
that the little man took hold of the pot, and threw the scalding broth
over the soldier, and made off, leaving nothing in the pot after him.
'And when the others came home, they found their comrade lying there on
the ground, scalded, and he told them what had happened.
'The next day the second of them said he would watch the pot. And all
happened the same as the first day; and they found him scalded and the
pot empty when they came back.
'The third day the third of them said he would keep a watch, and that
they might be sure they would get their dinner that evening.
'He put down the pot, and he put the tongs to redden in the fire; and
when the pot was boiling, the little man came in. "Bum-bum," he said;
"give me a bit from the pot." So the soldier gave him a bit. "Give me
more now," he said, when he had the rabbit eaten. "I will not; I will
keep it for my comrades," said the soldier. With that the little man
took a hold of the pot; but if he did, the soldier took up the tongs
that he was after making red-hot in the fire; and the little man made
off, and the pot in his arms, and the soldier after him with the tongs.
Then the little man dropped the pot; but the soldier took no notice, but
followed after him till he went down a hole into the ground. Then he
took a sapling, and tied his handkerchief on it, and stuck it where the
hole was, and went back again to the cabin.
'When his comrades came back, he told them all that happened; and they
all set out to where the hole was. And they looked down, and it was very
deep; and they could see no end to it. So the third man said to the
others: "One of you is a rope-maker, and the other is a cooper; and let
you make a rope and a bucket now."
'So they made the rope and the bucket, and fastened one to the other;
and the first man was let down. But after he went a good way, the rope
came to an end, and there was no sign of a bottom; and he called to them
to pull him up again. It happened the same with the second man; and he
was pulled up again. Then the third said he would go, and that if the
rope would not reach to the bottom, he would take a leap the rest of the
way.
'So when the rope was all given out, he made a leap and came safe to the
bottom. And it was in a hole he found himself; and he went through a
great many rooms from that, till he came to where the little man was
sitting by himself.
'And he gave him a welcome, and said: "You had good courage to get here.
And have you enough courage now," he said, "to go straight before you
for three hundred miles, to set free the King of Spain's three daughters
that are in the power of three giants?" "I will do that," said the
soldier.
'So the little man gave him directions what to do. "But when you are
going to fight the giants," he said, "take no weapon but the little
rusty sword you'll find at the back of their own door."
'The soldier set out then; and after he had gone a hundred miles in a
straight line, he came to the first castle, and there was a copper crown
over it.' (At this, we all looked up at the whitewashed boards of the
shed, as if we expected to see the copper crown.) 'And there was a young
lady looking out of the window, and she saw him coming. "You'd best not
come here," she said: "or the giant that owns the castle will make an
end of you." "It's to make an end of himself, I am come," says he, "and
to set you free." "And do you think the like of you could stand against
him?" says she; "it's what he's gone out for now," says she, "is for
seven bullocks to make his dinner of." "I'm ready for him whenever he
comes," says the soldier.
'Presently the giant came back, bringing the seven bullocks on his back.
"It is to fight me you are come," says he. "Wait till I have my dinner
eat, and I'll make a quick end of you."
'So he sat down and had his dinner off the seven bullocks, and then he
got up to fight. "What weapons will you fight with?" he says, throwing
down a brace of swords. "Is it one of these you will have?" "It is not,"
said the soldier; "but the little rusty sword that is behind the door."
'So he went in and got that; and the giant began to hit and to strike at
him; and he began to tickle the giant's ankles and his calves. And at
last the giant stooped down to scratch his ankle; and when he did, the
soldier struck off his head.
'He let the princess out then, and bade her to go where the little man
was waiting at the bottom of the hole, till he would come to her.'
'He went then to the second castle, that had a silver crown over the
door; and then he went on to the third castle, that had a golden crown
over the door; and the same thing happened as before, except that the
second giant had fourteen bullocks and third giant twenty-one bullocks
for his dinner.
'Then he brought the third princess back to the house, at the bottom of
the hole, where the little man was sitting. And the little man gave him
a whistle, and he blew it; and his comrades came and called down the
hole that they were at the top, and he bade them to let the bucket down.
And when they did, he put the first of the three princesses in it. They
drew her up then; and when they saw so nice a girl come up, they began
to quarrel which of them would have her for his wife. "Oh, don't quarrel
about me," says she; "for there is a girl much handsomer than myself
below yet." So they let the bucket down again, and she made off.
'Then the second princess came up in the bucket, and they began to
quarrel for her, and she said: "You may let me go, for I am nothing at
all beside the girl that is below in the hole yet."
'So they let her go; and then the third princess that was the most
beautiful came up, and they began to quarrel for her. "You need not be
quarrelling for me," says she; "for it is your comrade that is at the
bottom of the hole yet, I am going to marry."
'So when they heard that, they let the bucket down again. But when the
soldier below was going to get into it, the little man said: "Don't get
in," he said; "but put stones in it; for your comrades will cut the rope
when it is half way up."
'So he filled it with stones, and sure enough, when it was half way up,
his comrades cut the rope, and the bucket fell to the bottom.'
('Oh! oh! oh!' There were indignant murmurs among the old men at this.)
'The soldier did not know then what way he would make his escape. But
the little old man took his whistle, and blew on it; and presently a
great big eagle came down the hole.
'The little man bade the soldier get on its back till it would bring him
across the world; and he put seven bullocks on its back along with him.
'They set out then; and the soldier was cutting a bit off the bullocks
and putting it into the eagle's beak whenever he would say "Quawk." But
they were only a third of the way when all was gone, and they had to
turn back again.
'He took fourteen bullocks the next time, but they gave out. But the
third time the little old man gave twenty-one bullocks.
'So this time the eagle brought him to Spain, and left him down there.
And at that time the King of Spain was making a great feast for the
marriage of his eldest daughter that was the most beautiful. And when
the soldier saw her, he knew she was the third of the princesses he had
set free from the giant, and the other two were her two sisters.
'It was given out then that the princess would not marry anyone but the
man that would bring her a golden crown, the same as the one that was
hung over the castle where the giant had kept her. And all the
goldsmiths were very busy, everyone employing them to make crowns. But
they could not make the right one.
'Now the little man had given the soldier a ring before they parted, and
had bade him rub it if he would want anything from him. So he rubbed it
and a genii appeared before him. "Master, master, best master, what is
your will?" "Bring me the golden crown from the third castle where I
killed the giant," says the soldier.
'So the genii brought it; and Jack went to the king's court and put it
down; and the princess said it was just the very same crown that was
over the castle; and she knew it was the soldier had freed her, and she
was willing to marry him.
'But the king was not pleased to see such a poor-looking husband coming
for his daughter; and he said he would give her to no one but a man that
would bring a coach for her.
'So the soldier went away, and he rubbed the ring, and the genii
appeared; and it is what he bade him, to get him a coach that would be
filled full up of mud. So the coach went up to the king's door, and the
king himself came out to open it; and when he did, out came all the mud
over him that he was near choked. And he filled it a second and a third
time with pebbles and with stones, and the same thing happened.
'Then the soldier bade the genii to bring him a fine empty coach, and
he got into it. And when he was in it, it is what he wished, to have the
princess sitting beside him.
'And there she was on the minute, and they went away together. But the
king gave his consent then, and a great deal of money and treasure.
'And they put down the teapot, and if they didn't live happy'--the end
was lost in applause.
* * * * *
And when the applause had died away, an old, bright-eyed wrinkled man,
said: 'There was a King of Leinster one time, and there was a lake
beside his house. And every now and again twelve swans used to come to
the lake; and they had been coming there for seven generations.
'And the king's son that was away came home. And one day he saw the
swans coming to the lake; and he said: "I wonder I never heard any talk
of these swans before, for they are the most beautiful I ever saw." And
his people said: "They are coming here for seven generations, and no one
ever took notice of them before."
'The next morning early the king's son went down and hid himself in the
flags and the rushes by the lake. And after he had watched for a while,
he saw the swans come flying to the edge of the lake. And then they took
off their flying habits, and went bathing in the water; and they were
not swans but beautiful young women; and there was one among them that
was the most beautiful of all.
'After the king's son had watched for a while, he went to where they had
left their flying habits; and he brought away the one that belonged to
the most beautiful of the women. After a while they came to shore, and
began to look for their flying habits, and when she could not find hers,
she made great laments.
'The king's son came out to her then; and he asked her would she stop
with him and be his wife. "I cannot do that," she said; "but give me
back my wings now, and if you will come to the shore at such a place
to-morrow, I will bring a ship, and you can come away with me." So he
gave her back her habit, and she took the form of a swan again and flew
away.
'The next day he was making ready for his journey before he would go to
meet her; and the old woman that was in the house, and that was over
eighty years old, came and asked could she go with him. So at last he
gave her leave, and they went down to the shore to wait. And the nurse
said: "Lie down now and put your head in my lap and rest awhile." So he
laid his head in her lap; and when he did that, she took a sleeping-pin
and put it in his ear, and he fell into a heavy sleep.
'And when he was asleep, the ship came over the sea, with music and
playing in it, and came near the land. And when there was no one to meet
it there, it went away again.
'The king's son awoke then, and the nurse said: "It is making a fool of
you she was, for we have waited here all the day, and there has no ship
come."
'So they went back home; but the next day he went down to the shore
again, and the same thing happened. The young man lay down to rest, and
the nurse put a sleeping-pin in his ear, and the ship came when he was
asleep, and it went away again.
'But this time the lady in the ship wrote a letter and left it on the
strand; and when the king's son awoke, and that the nurse told him there
had no ship come, he was distracted, and went wandering about on the
strand, and there he found the letter; and it told him what to do, and
the way the nurse had deceived him.
'So the next day when he went to the shore and the nurse followed him,
he brought her where there was a well, and put a stone about her neck
and pushed her in, and she was seen no more.
'Then he went down to the shore, and he met the lady; but she said: "I
cannot bring you with me now, but I will leave the ship with you, and
you must follow till you find me."
'And he took the ship, and she gave him directions; and he went on till
he came to a country a long way off, and a wood in it, and a house in
the wood, and an old man sitting in it.
'And he told the old man all that had happened, and how he was looking
for the lady. And the old man gave him clothes to put on, and a place to
wash himself, till he was as fresh and fair as before he set out.
'And then he sent for a pony, and he said: "I will give you this pony
that will bring you where she is; and when you get there, you must put
the bridle on his neck, and put the saddle cross-ways, and turn his head
back here again."
'So then he got on the pony's back; and it flew away with him through
the air, till at last it put him down on land, near a great castle. And
he turned the saddle cross-ways, and put the bridle on the pony's neck,
and turned its head, and it went back to where it came from.
'Then he went on to the castle; and he went in and asked the Master to
take him as a serving-man. And the Master said he would, and he said:
"The work you have to do to-night is to attend to the horse that is in
the stable, and that belongs to my daughter."
'But before the young man did that, he went to look for the young lady,
and he saw her looking out of a window; and he went up to her, and she
knew him, and gave him a welcome. And she said: "The Master of the house
knows well who you are, and that it is to bring me away you are come;
and that is the reason he bade you go to clean and to attend to the
horse in the stable; for it is wicked, and it would make an end of you.
But," says she, "take these brushes and these shammys and bring them
along with you into the stable, and the horse will be as quiet as a
lamb; and in place of wanting to kill you, he will love you. And when
night comes," says she, "he will come to us, and we will get on his
back, and he will bring us away."
'So all happened as she said, and the horse came at night, and they both
of them got on his back; and away with him, and never stopped till he
brought them back to Ireland, and to this country.
'And it was in this country they settled down; and some of their
descendants are living in it yet.'
'What is their name?'
'Well, I think they, are the Persses of Roxborough; or maybe they are
the Gregorys of Coole.'
* * * * *
A red-faced, farmer-like man says: 'There was a poor man one time--Jack
Murphy his name was; and rent day came, and he hadn't enough to pay his
rent. And he went to the landlord, and asked would he give him time. And
the landlord asked when would he pay him; and he said he didn't know
that. And the landlord said: "Well, if you can answer three questions
I'll put to you, I'll let you off the rent altogether. But if you don't
answer them, you will have to pay it at once, or to leave your farm. And
the three questions are these:--How much does the moon weigh? How many
stars are there in the sky? What is it I am thinking?" And he said he
would give him till the next day to think of the answers.
'And Jack was walking along, very downhearted; and he met with a friend
of his, one Tim Daly; and he asked what was on him; and he told him how
he must answer the landlord's three questions on to-morrow, or to lose
his farm. "And I see no use in going to him to-morrow," says he; "for
I'm sure I will not be able to answer his questions right." "Let me go
in your place," says Tim Daly; "for the landlord will not know one of us
from the other; and I'm a good hand at answering questions, and I'll
engage I'll get you through."
'So he agreed to that; and the next day Tim Daly went in to the
landlord, and says he: "I'm come now to answer your three questions."
'Well, the first question the landlord put was: "What does the moon
weigh?" And Tim Daly says: "It weighs four quarters."
'Then the landlord asked: "How many stars are in the sky?" "Nine
thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine," says Tim. "How do you know
that?" says the landlord. "Well," says Tim, "if you don't believe me, go
out yourself to-night and count them."
'Then the landlord asked him the third question: "What am I thinking
now?" "You are thinking it's to Jack Murphy you're talking, and it is
not, but to Tim Daly."
'So the landlord gave in then; and Jack had the farm free from that
out.'
There was great laughter and applause at this story.
* * * * *
Then someone told this version of the _Taming of the Shrew_. I heard it
told in Irish afterwards by an Aran girl at the Galway Feis:
'There was a farmer one time had three daughters; and two of them were
very nice and civil, but the third had a very hot temper. And the two
civil ones were married first; and then a gentleman came and asked for
the third. So after the wedding they started for home; and the farmer
said to his son-in-law: "God speed you--yourself and your Fireball."
'Well, on the way home, a hare started up; and the gentleman had a white
hound, and it followed the hare; and he called to it to leave following
it, but it would not till it had it killed. And it came back then, and
the gentleman took out his pistol and shot the hound dead. "I did that
because it would not obey me," he said.
'And after a little time they came to a stone wall that was very high;
and he put the white horse he was riding at it, and the horse refused
it, and he shot it dead. "I did that because he would not take the wall
when I bade him," he said.
'They came home then; and there was a good deal of feasting made, and of
good treatment for all the servants in the house; but as to the wife she
got hardly enough given her, and that of the worst. She was angry then;
and she said to the husband: "Why am I badly treated this way, and your
servants are well treated?" "I have a good reason for that," says he;
"for my servants are working hard for me, and doing all they can for
me, and you are doing nothing at all."
'Well, whatever happened after that, all the daughters and the
sons-in-law came back one time to the father's house to see him. And
after the dinner, the daughters were playing cards together, and the
sons-in-law were in another room with the father. And he asked the first
of them how did he like his wife. "Very well," says he, "I have no fault
to find with her, a very civil, obedient girl." The second son-in-law
said the same; and then the father said to the man that married the
hot-tempered one: "And what sort of an account have you to give of your
missus?" "Very good," he said. "If her sisters are civil and obedient,
she is three times more civil and obedient."
'They were surprised to hear him say that; and they said they would put
it to the proof. And the first husband went to the door and called to
his wife, "Come here a minute." "I can't come," says she; "I'm dealing
the cards." Then the second husband went and called to his wife that he
wanted her. "I can't come," says she; "I'm playing the game." Then the
third went and called to his wife; and she rose up and put down the
cards, and came out to him on the moment. "What were you doing when I
called you?" says he. "I was playing the game," says she.
'They all wondered when they heard that, and they asked what made her,
that was so hard to manage before, so quiet now.
'"I will tell you that," she said. And she told them the whole story of
the horse and the hound being shot, and the servants being treated
better than herself.
'And that's the end of my story.'
* * * * *
Then a young red-faced, one-eyed man was dragged forward, and he said:
'There was a farmer one time had met with great misfortunes; and at last
of all his stock he had nothing left but one cow. And when he saw his
children starving with the hunger, he made up his mind to sell the cow,
and he set out with her to the fair.
'And on the road he met a man that asked would he sell the cow. "I will
indeed; it's for that I'm going to the fair," says he. "Will you give
her to me for this bottle?" says the man, holding out a bottle to him.
"Do you know what my wife would do if I brought her home that bottle in
place of the cow?" said the farmer. "I do not," said the man. "She'd
break it on my head," said the farmer.
'Well, the man pressed him for a while; and at last he said the fair
might be a bad one, and maybe he might as well chance the bottle and go
home. So he took the bottle and gave the cow in place of it, and went
home.
'When his wife knew what he had done, she went near losing her wits; and
she called him all the names; and the children were crying with the
hunger. And the poor man didn't know what to do; and he sat down, and he
put the bottle on the table and opened it.
'And as soon as he did that, two men came out of it, and they began to
lay a cloth, and to set out every sort of food on it. And the man and
his wife and the children sat down and eat their fill.
'And everything the farmer would wish for after that, he had but to open
the bottle and the two men would come out, and would bring him what he
wanted. So he grew to be rich, and the neighbours heard how he came by
his money. And his landlord got word of it, and he came and asked would
he sell the bottle to him.
'But he refused to part with it; but after a while the landlord got him
to his own house, and gave him drink; and, not being in his clear
senses, he consented to give up the bottle for four acres of good land.
'But after a while he had all his riches spent, and someway nothing went
well with him; and at last he found himself the same way he was before,
with but one cow left of all his stock, and the children crying with
hunger.
'So he set off with the one cow; and he went to the same place he met
with the man with the bottle before, and he was there before him. And he
told him all that had happened, and the way it was with him now; and the
man gave him another bottle, and brought away the cow.
'So he hurried back home with the bottle, and set it on the table and
drew the cork, and the children were waiting round the table for the
good dinner they would have. But when the bottle was opened, two men
came out with blackthorns in their hands, and they began to beat the
farmer and his wife and all about them; and it was blows the poor
children got in place of food.
'Well, as soon as the men went into the bottle again, the farmer put in
the cork, and he went away to the landlord's house. And there was a
great ball going on there; and the farmer asked could he see the
landlord.
'So he came down to him, and the farmer said he had got a new bottle,
and that maybe the ladies and gentlemen would like to see all it would
do. So the landlord agreed, and brought him up to the ballroom, and he
put down the bottle and opened the cork. And when it was open, the two
men came out with their blackthorns, and they began to hit at the ladies
and gentlemen near them, and to beat them, till they ran to hide in
every corner. And the landlord called out for them to stop, but the
farmer said they would not till he would get his own bottle again.
'So they gave it to him then, and he went home bringing the two bottles
with him. And he lived in plenty ever after till he died.
'But someway at his wake, with all that was going on there, the two
bottles got broken, or if they did not they were lost.'
* * * * *
Then another said: 'There was a servant-girl left to mind her master's
house one time. And she heard a noise below the window, and she opened
it to look out. And she saw the hand of a man on the window ledge, that
was climbing up to rob the house. And when he put his hand up, she took
a little hatchet she had and cut his hand off.
'The same thing happened with another man and another after him again,
till she had killed six. But when she was striking at the seventh, he
drew back, and all she cut off was his finger.
'When the master came back, she got great praise and great reward, so
that she had plenty of money. And one day a man came to ask her in
marriage; and she did not know him to be the robber that escaped, and
she married him.
'But after a while he brought her out through the fields to where there
was a little bridge over the river. And when they got to it, he told her
he was the man she had cut the finger off, and that he had brought her
there to kill her.
'"Give me time to say my prayers first," she said. So he gave her time
for that, and she knelt down; and presently she turned round and he was
on the bridge beside her, and she gave him a push into the water. And
that was the end of the seventh of the robbers.
'And then she went home again. That's my story.'
* * * * *
And then the old man, whose brother has fought for the king, and hasn't
sent him anything, said:
'Peace is made. That's my story. Will you give me tobacco for that?'
But this being the last day, they all had tobacco--story-tellers and
all.
* * * * *
And here is the last story: 'There was a steward one time in the
employment of a gentleman; and he was a good, honourable man. And he
used to make the Sunday begin at twelve o'clock on Saturday; and to ring
the bell then for the workmen to go home.
'He got sick at last, and his death was drawing near; and he asked one
request of his master, and that was, that after his death he would put
his body on a car, but not direct it anywhere; but to let it go what way
the horse would bring it.
'So the master did that; and they put the body on a car, and the carman
went along with it; but he did not direct the horse, but let it go what
way it liked.
'And it went on a long way; and then they came to a path that was all
full of spearheads sticking up through the ground. But the horse went
on; and wherever it went, the spearheads would sink away before it.
'They came at last to a house, and the horse stopped at the door; and
the people of the house came out and brought in the body; and the carman
went along with it, and he lay down and slept awhile.
'And when he rose up, he said he would go back to his friends. But the
people of the house said: "You can go back if you like, but you will
find none of your friends before you; for your sleep has lasted for
seven hundred years."
'So he went back; and there was nothing but grass and bushes in the
village he came from. And he knelt down and made his repentance; and he
was let up to heaven for the sake of the steward that was so good, and
that made the Sunday begin at noon on Saturday.'
1902.