meals, delegating the work done formerly with a caterer to assistants
under her. She must be careful not to attempt more than she can safely
perform, and then carry out her plan with quiet confidence in her own
ability. Except in case of an accident which she cannot remedy, she
should not speak to the hostess, who should be left perfectly free to
entertain her guests without a care about the food which they are
eating. All doubts should be settled before the lady of the house goes
to her room to dress for dinner. A waitress, however competent, must
consult those whom she serves upon the special way of having many 84
things done. She must know how to sharpen carvers, but she must not
try her hand upon new ones without finding out whether the host
prefers to handle them entirely himself; this question to be asked, of
course, before laying the table. The special form of serving boiled
eggs should also be settled, and the question of serving cheeses whole
or broken.
Cheeses of the pineapple and Eadam varieties should be cut so that the
top will fit again closely and exclude the air. To preserve perfectly
a section cut from any large cheese, it should be kept wrapped in a
napkin or piece of cheese cloth wrung out of cider vinegar. Rhine wine
will answer the same purpose, but the vinegar will not leave an
objectionable trace. Cheese should always be served on a folded
napkin, for the reason that it is more or less oily and looks
pleasanter on the napkin than on the plate.
The crisp green salad, with its accompaniment of a red or golden 85
cheese, is one of the most agreeable courses of the dinner, and no
unsightly crumbs should be left on the cloth before it is served.
A carving-cloth should not be folded on the table. The corners may be
turned deftly together and the cloth removed to a tray on which it may
be carried to the pantry, to be folded later.
When a number are at table, only a part of the plates should be put
before the carver at one time; but the others must be ready on a near
side-table.
By learning to make dainty paper frills for lamb chops or for the bone
of a ham, and by studying simple garnishings of fresh parsley, celery
tips, and lemon, pleasant effects may be produced and a reputation for
taste and skill acquired. The same dish may be served in a variety of
ways, one of which may tempt the appetite where others have failed.
Instead of serving chicken salad in a plain dish at luncheon, it may
be put in cups made by removing the pulp from solid red tomatoes, and 86
each tomato placed on a bed of green lettuce leaves.
One is always pleased by a novelty, that is, after the more
substantial part of a meal is finished, and a waitress who becomes an
artist in her especial line may not only give a great deal of pleasure
to others, but keep herself from getting tired of the daily routine.
If she wishes to raise her work above the level of mere drudgery, she
will study to see how she can improve each day upon the work of the
day before.
Nothing should ever be done because Mrs. X’s butler does so and so, or
because Mrs. Y’s maid says she saw it done like this in England. Every
good rule has a good reason for its foundation; every rule which has
not a good reason for being should be replaced by a better one.
There are good reasons for serving the lady of the house first,
although this rule is often waived to do honor to the distinguished
guest for whom a luncheon or dinner is given. In a country-house 87
several distinguished people or dear friends are entertained at one
time; to serve the hostess first and follow a regular order along the
table makes no distinction. Novelties are often introduced, both in
food and in service. Dishes are served before which a guest hesitates
as to which fork or which spoon to use until he glances at his hostess
to see which one she takes up.
Not every one who travels goes to the East, and not every one who goes
to the East is entertained by Eastern dignitaries and brings Eastern
customs home. When a lady does dispense with finger-bowls and follows
the custom of a Grand Pacha in having passed to her guests a large
silver bowl of rose water, in which each one in turn is expected to
dip the tips of the fingers and wipe them on a pearl-fringed towel,
she need not be surprised if the first guest, seeing this bowl of rare
workmanship presented at her left hand, looks about on the tray for
some spoon or ladle by which she is to help herself to the pale 88
beverage. If the bowl be handed first to the hostess and she follows
the custom of the Grand Pacha, no guest need betray that she was not
brought up in the house of a Grand Pacha herself.
A hostess who takes pride in having her forks made to suit special
courses, like asparagus, and who has several forks laid by each plate
before dinner is served, finds it necessary to take up the right one
before her guests make a choice. I have in mind a dinner where the
hostess delayed the tasting of a course, the absent-minded host took
the wrong fork, some guests took one and some another. The butler did
his best to replace the right ones; but after all his efforts,
somebody had a wrong fork to the end of the dinner.
A waitress should remember, when going into a new family, that some
things, which seem novel to her and only to be done away with, may be
old-established family customs, to which she must adapt herself if she
is to give satisfaction. If she finds that pease, tomatoes, and other 89
vegetables are served in a semi-liquid state instead of the drier one
to which she has been accustomed, she must use the small dishes
provided, remembering that the rule, “all vegetables are to be eaten
from the dinner plate,” is not accepted by all housekeepers, although
it is by a great number. So, if fish knives are provided, she need not
feel that she is offending against good manners, even if she has seen
only forks used before.
However, there are some things which a little true tact and management
might alter for the benefit of all concerned. I knew one table where
many well-cooked dishes and many delicate desserts were served, at
which the relishes were something startling. Spanish peppers, stuffed
and pickled, I had been used to see cut in small pieces and served
from a pickle dish. At this table a whole stuffed Spanish pepper was
served to each person in a small dish which held some of the vinegar
as well as the pepper.
An improvement upon this is the serving of olives in small dishes to 90
each person, although it is hard to realize how any one at a
well-served dinner would care to eat a relish as if it were a
vegetable. Those who are fond of olives think them very, very good,
and those who do not like them think they are horrid; but it would
seem better to lunch off of them when alone, and not neglect for one
flavor the many flavors prepared for enjoyment during a
well-thought-out dinner.
A waitress with good health, a fair amount of brains, and a
determination to be a better waitress than any woman was before, has a
great field before her. But if she aspires to raise waiting to the
dignity of a profession, she must study; she must educate her eye to
know the difference between a line that is exactly straight and one
that is slightly askew; she must train her memory until the daily
routine is perfectly easy and she can give thought to decoration and
invention; she must educate her hands until they are to be trusted
with the care of the frailest glass and china, and educate her sense 91
of smell and of taste until she can suit each salad dressing to the
dinner of which it forms a part, making it rich or piquant, as the
other dishes demand.
In one of our largest cities I have been shown a large kitchen which
had been fitted up next to an employment bureau for the training of
partially trained cooks and waitresses. The teacher had been
dismissed, the cooking utensils and the range were for sale. “Why?”
“Because the ladies would not give their maids any time to come and
learn.”
I have no doubt that this was true; but there are plenty of ladies who
do wish their maids to learn, and if those who have opportunities for
improvement will make the most of those opportunities, they will raise
the standard of work, and inspire their co-workers who are now willing
to stay as they are and let well enough alone.
Useful Suggestions 92
In order to do any work in the best manner it is necessary that one
should be strong and well. To become strong and to keep well some
simple rules must be understood and carefully followed. One may be
blessed with good health, but no constitution can stand the strain
made upon it when the ways and means for preventing fatigue and
disease are disregarded.
To keep good health it will be necessary to form carefully and to
continue steadily nice habits of personal cleanliness.
Personal cleanliness includes more than keeping the skin and the hair,
the nails and the teeth, clean. It includes keeping one’s
sleeping-room sweet and fresh, and airing the bed thoroughly every
morning. To spread up a bed a few minutes after one is out of it may 93
give to the room an air of neatness, but it folds into the bedding the
close air of the night instead of letting it all go out of the window,
to be replaced by the freshness of the morning.
And cleanliness means more than a clean gown and clean collar and
cuffs. One of the first things for a waitress to consider is her
supply of underclothing. She will see the necessity of fresh print
dresses for morning work, and a neat dark costume for afternoons; but
she may be thoughtless at first about underclothing. Yet to keep
clean, and by keeping clean to promote good health, nothing is more
important than to be able to change underclothing whenever she feels
the need of doing so. And in clothing, stockings are an important
item. It is restful to change shoes, but more restful to change both
shoes and stockings. The warm, tired foot is very grateful for the
clean, smooth stocking before it begins its rounds about the evening
dining-table.
Slippers or low shoes for house wear must be thoroughly comfortable, 94
and shoes for out-of-doors must give a firm support to the feet, and
at the same time protect them from the wet and the cold. To buy cheap
shoes is not real economy. A shoe to be worth buying should be well
made and fit comfortably. Such a shoe will outwear two or three pairs
of the cheap ones which are showy but poorly made.
To preserve health it is very important to have a sufficient amount of
sleep. Girls sometimes say that they need only a little sleep, and are
never tired except just before they get up in the morning. But one
ought not to feel tired in the morning just before getting up. Sleep
should be long enough to refresh both mind and body, and care should
be taken to insure the necessary amount.
It may seem at first as if regulation of hours is beyond the control
of one who is serving other persons; but in this, as in many other
things, much depends upon the worker and the manner in which she 95
performs her work. If hours of waiting are ended early she must go to
bed early, for she will be required to be up betimes in the morning.
If she has to wait late at night it is not likely that she will be
required to be up too early in the morning, provided, her work is
carefully done after she is up. If she loses health and strength
because of too little sleep it will sometimes be on account of sitting
up late, as many say they do, to read exciting novels; or, when she
has evenings out, crowding as much exercise and excitement into one
evening as ought to go to the enjoyment of a dozen.
It is said, too, that the matter of meals is beyond control; but this
is often not so. Many a lady has taken the greatest pains to arrange
proper meals for the maids in her employ, and has had them served at
an earlier hour than those of the family. In this case a waitress does
not have to stand with an empty stomach, passing food which makes her
feel faint and ill, she scarcely knows why. The idea that a hasty meal 96
taken at intervals from the remains of a late dinner is better than a
plainer one nicely served and eaten at leisure is one of the greatest
mistakes that can be made; yet it is constantly made by many of those
to whom the choice is given of having meals before or after waiting
upon the table.
Many employers are more than ready to arrange for the comfort of maids
in this and in other matters. When they are not, it must be remembered
that they have been too long and too sorely tried by ignorant and
unappreciative help to hope at first that the new order of intelligent
and thoroughly trained waitresses is going to be any better than those
who have preceded them in the household.
With good health it is easier to break up bad habits and form better
ones than when one has to give valuable time and attention to bodily
ailments.
A habit too easily formed, and one which should be at once broken up,
is that of listening to what is said at table, instead of concentrating 97
attention upon the waiting. Not that there is any harm in listening to
good conversation, but if while listening one misses the softly spoken
“Bread, please,” or “Will you fill my glass?” and has to be recalled
by a repetition of the request by the mistress of the house, some
marks have certainly been lost from a perfect record.
Elderly persons should not be neglected, but should be especially
considered at meals. Often some little thing from the side-board, not
cared for by the rest of the family, may be desired by them. A little
forethought will provide the vinegar or celery salt or whatever it may
be, and no unnecessary interruption to the meal need be made.
At breakfast and luncheon a, waitress may add much to every one’s
comfort by keeping a watchful eye on the plates of the children. A
hungry child is sometimes apparently unreasonable without wishing to
be naughty. One child may be forbidden maple syrup on his cereal and 98
allowed sugar. If the sugar be not provided, and he sees the others
eating the syrup which he loves but may not have, it is almost too
much to expect that he will wait patiently until his needs are
remembered.
Waiting is a department of woman’s work which is capable of being
greatly improved and raised to a higher standard. The women who will
improve this department are those who appreciate the necessity of good
health, and who will use every means in their power to secure health
and to keep it. They are women who will learn thoroughly the duties
they have elected to perform. They will train hand and foot to do
their instant bidding. They will train the eye so that nothing in the
daily routine will be left undone, and so that nothing outside of it
which may add to the general comfort will escape their notice.
In the Invalid’s Room 99
It may be objected that the sick-room is not a place for the
waitress--that the trained nurse is also the waitress of her patient.
This is often true, for in cases of extreme illness it is many times
unsafe to allow the confusion of voices with the noise of movement
which accompanies the entrance of one unaccustomed to invalids. There
are, however, numerous instances of transient illness or indisposition
which are to be considered. If a little girl has had croup in the
night, and must be kept in bed the next day, a nurse is not sent for;
or if a boy goes swimming too early in the season, and has such a cold
after it that he cannot get up, it will not be considered necessary to
bring some one in from outside to take care of him. Then there are
convalescents after an illness, and elderly persons who perhaps two 100
or three times a week may need to breakfast in bed. Enough cases to
make it worth while for a waitress to consider as a part of her
training the proper way to conduct herself in the sick-room.
The nearer she brings her work to perfection in other departments, the
nearer perfection will she be in this.
The first thing to consider will be the nicety of her appearance and
the absence of noise. If she has been out in the street to do an
errand, she will on no account hasten to the sick-room with a tray
before she has replaced by her soft shoes the heavier ones which may
have a squeak in them. And she will at no time go hastily into a
sick-room. She will open the door as softly as a nurse herself would
do, and move as noiselessly when she is in the room. She will not
express by her looks that she thinks a patient is worse than the day
before, or say, in what she calls a whisper, as she goes out, “She
looks a good deal paler,” or, “I really believe he is going to be 101
down sick.”
The tray taken to an invalid should be studied as carefully as the
table in the dining-room. A trained eye will let no spot or stain on
the dining-room linen escape it; nor will a trained waitress fail to
replace a spotted cloth by a fresh one. On a tray cloth a coffee stain
or a fruit stain is not at all sure to escape notice because it is
covered by a plate or a saucer. That plate or that saucer is the very
one that will surely be lifted, and the stain will jar the sense of
neatness, which grows more keen when one is shut in from all outside
things which in health claim the attention.
Selection of china and glass is another important matter. A cup of one
pattern set in a saucer of another pattern is an offence to the
invalid’s eye, and to let a person suffering with pain put to his lips
a glass with a piece chipped out of the edge is a cruelty.
In the service offered to an invalid the same is true as of all other 102
service. If it be done by rule and method, as if by the working of
machinery that has no heart in it, it will fall far short of what it
might easily be made by a little care and thoughtfulness. If, for
instance, a chop--which it is well understood the patient must eat
plain--be served with a little bunch of cress, the fresh green feeds
the eye, and the invalid is conscious that thought has been given to
her pleasure as well as to her needs. A whole train of sad and weary
thoughts has been changed by one cheerful yellow pansy hastily dropped
on a tray so that it lay smiling between a cup and a cream jug.
A waitress who cares how she does her work in the sick-room and out of
it will soon find that the attention she gives is appreciated. It will
not be long before china closets which have been locked will be
opened, old glass will be brought out for occasional use, and great
pleasure expressed by its owners that it is again possible to have it
handled without fear of its being destroyed. This care bestowed upon 103
inanimate things is one indication of a truthful character, and the
waitress will find herself treated, not like one who must be watched
and in a sense suspected, but with the confidence which is her right,
and which will give her the sense of being an individual, not merely
part of the household machinery.
When confidence in her is once established there are many ways by
which it will be expressed. She will be asked to execute little
commissions given only to one who can be thoroughly relied upon. She
may be left in charge of the house, with the direction of other
workers under her, or she may be asked to go to the country-house to
direct and assist in its arrangement before the family take up their
summer residence there.
All this will give variety to what otherwise might be in danger of
becoming a trifle monotonous; but it is not the variety which is the
greatest advantage. It is the fact that she is not a mere worker, not
a machine which may do its work with absolute exactness, never losing 104
a minute, and always being in its own place. She will do her work with
exactness, and may be relied upon like a machine; but she will also
use her power to help, to suggest, and to put in motion forces outside
of herself and her routine.
When the best relationship has been established between employers and
those who are employed, the question of change will assume a very
different aspect. Questions which ordinarily make an end of any
contract entered into will be simply the subject of explanation, or at
the most of arbitration, and although others may come and go, the
waitress will stay on year after year.
When she does decide to go she will leave with regret what has been to
her really a home, and, on the part of her employer, the most genuine
regret will be felt and expressed. Great interest will be taken in all
that concerns her future welfare, gifts will be prepared by each
member of the household, the wedding will be made merry, and good 105
wishes will follow her to the new home, where it will be hoped that
she may have as much comfort as she has given to others during her
years of faithful work as a waitress.
Truthfulness in the Waitress 106
A waitress should be truthful in spirit, as well as truthful regarding
the letter of her contract. We are told sometimes that this is
impossible; that it is necessary to tell some falsehoods in order to
secure a good place, or to keep one after being in it for a time. But
this is not so. An expert waitress need never be without a place, and
she need never stay in a place for lack of another after real
difficulties have arisen in her way.
How do I know this? Because perfect service never goes a-begging, and
if her work is perfect there will always be a demand for it. Think of
our servants of the public--the clergy and the doctors. Does a
minister who satisfies his congregation ever lack a congregation? Does
a successful doctor have to drive about looking for patients? We know 107
very well that he does not; we know that his office is crowded day
after day. How did he come to be successful? First he studied, and
then he practised, and when he began to practise he found that there
were many things which he did not know. Was he content with the
knowledge he had acquired? By no means. He studied more, and put the
new knowledge into practice. How did he gain the entire confidence of
the persons he serves? By doing well what he professed to do, and by
being ready for any emergency. And this is what a waitress must do.
First she must study, then she must practise, then she must study more
and practise more, and she must be equal to emergencies.
If word comes to a doctor that a child has fallen down-stairs and
broken its arm, does the doctor send back word that his hours are over
and he cannot go to the child? And if an accident happens in the
waitress’s department--if a piece of ceiling falls, for instance,
when she is about to go up to bed--will she say that her hours are 108
over, and some one else must clean up the mortar in the pantry? If the
doctor thinks he is all through for the evening and another patient
comes in, will he dismiss the late comer without a word? And if, after
a table is all laid, an extra guest comes in, will the waitress fail
to lay another cover quietly and quickly?
Yes, many will say, so many patients, so much money. But it is not so.
The persons who take up a doctor’s time and try his patience almost
beyond words are often those who have no idea of the value of his
time, and who have no money to pay him for it.
When a maid calls herself a waitress she is not truthful unless she
has studied her work until she is familiar with it, and this
familiarity can come only after some amount of practice.
Truthfulness includes honesty, and to be honest means very much more
than being above taking money or jewels which belong to others. To be 109
true and honest in spirit is to have an intelligent care of whatever
is put in a worker’s charge and which belongs to her department. It is
not honest to let a beautiful damask cloth with a little rent in it go
to the laundress without first reporting the rent to the owner of the
cloth. It is not honest to let a fine carver rust for lack of
attention at the proper time. It is not true that no gas is wasted
when a gas stove is left partly turned on all night near an open
window.
We have often heard that time is money. Now if one does not understand
her work as she may understand it if she will study, she is constantly
taking other people’s time, which we are told is other people’s money.
That all the world is not honest, that we are not always treated from
the standpoint of strictly fair dealing, makes no difference to her.
She is not other people, she is herself.
Among the men in one of our Eastern States whose business it is to lay
stone walls is one who has an especial talent for the work. Stones 110
of any shape answer his purpose. He does not ask any direction, he
does not have to make any measurements, or use any stakes or a line to
lay his stones by. And in the whole State there are no such beautiful
walls as this man lays. Does he ever have to tell a falsehood in order
to get work? Does he ever talk about other persons interfering with
him? Or does he need to care what other persons think? He does his
work so much better than other men that it will always be sought. And
although he has a special talent for it, he does not let that make him
careless. His is true work, honest work, and so long as he keeps his
health and there are stone walls to lay he need never rest with idle
hands.