back pasture,' I said.
"'It might be William the Conqueror,' Lizzie remarked.
"'I deny it,' said Delance, in perfect good nature. 'We have resigned
from William's family. As a matter of fact, I never joined it.'
"I congratulated him.
"'It has always seemed like the merest poppycock to me--this
genealogical craze of the ladies,' said Henry. 'When our London
solicitor wrote that it would take another hundred pounds to establish
the connection beyond a doubt, he gave away the whole scheme, and I
resigned. It was too silly. In these days of titled chambermaids I
think we shall worry along pretty well without William.'
"Then Betsey said: 'I was reading in the county history to-day that
old Zebulon Delance, who was killed in a fight with Indians in 1750,
was buried in a meadow back of his house.'
"'It may be the skull of old Zeb,' said Henry.
"'Now there's an ancestor worth having,' I suggested.
"'I wonder if it can belong to old Zeb,' Henry mused.
"At last we got to my plan. I pictured the condition of the community
as I saw it, and the inefficiency of the church and the need of a new
and active power in Pointview.
"I proposed that we buy the old skating-rink and remodel it, employ
the best talent in America, and start a new center of power in the
community--a power that should, first of all, keep us sane, and then
as decent as possible. The mathematics of the enterprise were at my
fingers' ends:
"Initial Expenses $15,000
"Annual Outlay for Instruction 8,000
"For Music 3,500
"For Maintenance 1,000
"For Management 3,500
"It was no small matter, but the initial expense and the first year's
outlay were subscribed in ten minutes. Betsey set the ball rolling
with an offer of ten thousand dollars, and then it was like shaking
ripe apples off a tree.
"'Who is to be the manager?' Delance wanted to know. 'It's a big
job.'
"'I propose that we try Harry,' I said; 'in my opinion it will
interest him. I've had him in training for a year or so, and he's
about ready for big work.'
"'I don't believe Harry can do it,' his father declared.
"'I should think it might not be to his taste,' said Bill Warburton.
"'But I have later and better information than the rest of you,' I
said. 'If you will leave the matter in my hands you may hold me
responsible for the results.'
"They gave me the white card. I could do as I liked. The fact is, I
had just had a letter from Harry which filled me with new hope. I have
it here."
The Honorable Socrates Potter took the letter from his pocket and
said:
"You see, Harry has been discovering America. He is the Columbus of
our heiristocracy. His mental map has been filled with great cities
and splendid hotels, and thrifty towns and enormous areas of wheat and
corn, and astonishing distances and sublime mountain scenes. Moreover,
he has learned the joys of a simple life; he had to. Of course, he
knew of these things, but feebly and without pride, as one knows the
Tetons who has never seen them. Leaving in May, he stopped in all the
big cities, and finished his journey from the railroad with a
stage-ride of some ninety miles. Of the stage-ride and other matters,
he writes thus:
"'On the front seat with the driver sat a lady smoking a cigar, who,
now and then, offered us a drink from a bottle. At her side was a lady
with a wooden leg, and a hen in her hand. You know every woman is a
lady out here. The driver swore at the horses, the hen swore at the
lady, and several of the passengers swore at each other, and it was
all done in the most amiable spirit. Two rough-necks sat beside me who
kept shooting with revolvers at sage-hens as they--the men, not the
hens--irrigated the tires with tobacco-juice. At the next stop I got
into a row with a one-eyed professor of elocution, because he said I
carried too much for the size of my mule, an' didn't speak proper. He
objected to my pronunciation, and I to his choice of words. In the
argument his revolver took sides with him. I got one of my toes lopped
with a bullet, and the lady who carried the cigar and the bottle took
me to her home and nursed me like a mother, and the lady with the
wooden leg brought me strawberries every day and sang to me and told
me some good stories. I had thought it was a God-forsaken country,
but, you see, I was wrong. There's more real practical Christianity
among these people than I ever saw before, and it's hard work to be an
ass here. The way of the ass is full of trouble, and I begin to
understand why you wanted me to come out to Wyoming. The people are
rough, but as kind as angels. Felt like turning back, but these women
put new heart in me, especially the wooden-legged one.
"'"We don't like parlor talk out here," she said; "it ain't considered
good ettikit. Folks don't mind a little, but if it goes too fur it's
considered insultin' an' everybody begins to speak to ye like he was
talkin' to a balky mule."
"'I went on as soon as I was able, and spent the whole summer on the
back of a cayuse. Got lost in the mountains; went hungry and cold like
the wolf, as Garland puts it, for three days; had to think my way back
to camp. It was the best schooling in geography and logic and American
humanity that I ever had. Every man at the ranch, and the women, had
been out hunting for me. I offered them money, but they woudn't take a
cent--the joy of seeing me was enough. They haven't a smitch of the
revolting money-hunger of the average European. With all its faults I
am proud of my country. I want you to find a good, big American job
for me.
"'I have been reading the Bishop of St. Clare, who says: "There hath
been more energy expended in swaggering about with full bellies and a
burden of needless fat than would move the island to the main shore.
If thy purse be used to buy immunity from work, it secureth immunity
from manhood; and what is a man without manhood?"
"'There is the American idea for you.
"'Deacon Joe has got to change his mind about me. Marie has only
written me one letter, and that was a frost. If you have any influence
with the girl, don't let her get engaged to that parson.'
Socrates laughed as he put the letter away, and went on:
"Well, Harry came back, browned and brawny, with his cayuse, saddle,
and sombrero, and a shooting-iron half as long as my arm.
"He came here for a talk with me the day after his arrival. The
subject of a lifework was pressing on him.
"'Have you seen Zeb?' was his first query.
"'Zeb?' I asked. 'Who is Zeb?'
"'That dear old, irrepressible bishop,' said Harry. 'They have dug him
up and named him Zeb, and put him on a top shelf in the library. They
think he is one of our great-grandfathers.'
"'Oh, he has been promoted,' I remarked.
"Harry went on:
"'My dog is responsible for the reappearance of the bishop. I took him
with me that night, and he knew where to find it. Father is sure that
it's the head of old Zeb Delance.'
"'Let the Bishop rest where he is,' I suggested. 'Now that he has
converted you, he will probably let up. At least, let us hope that he
will not worry you. Of course he will remind you of past follies every
time you look at him, but that will do you no harm.'
"'Oh, I couldn't forget him! Father has been reading up on Zeb, and he
does nothing but talk about him. He has learned that the Indians
buried the head and burned the body of a victim.'
"'He symbolizes the change in your taste. Zeb was a man of action--a
worker. What do you propose to do now?'
"'Well, I have thought some of following Dan into agriculture.'
"'Don't,' was my answer. 'You're not the type for that kind of a job.
Dan was brought up to work with his hands. I fear that you would be a
Fifth Avenue farmer.'
"'Well, what would you say to a plant for the manufacture of
aeroplanes? I stopped at Dayton and looked into the matter, and
learned to fly. I have ordered a biplane, and it will be delivered in
the spring.'
"I vetoed that plan, and asked where he proposed to settle.
"'Right here--if possible,' said Harry.
"'Good! There's one thing about your family tree that I like, and you
ought to be proud of it. Your forebears, having been treated with
shameless oppression, came to these inhospitable shores in 1630. They
needn't have done it if they had been willing to knuckle down and say
they liked crow when they didn't. They wouldn't do that, so they left
the old sod and ventured forth in a little sailing-vessel on the
mighty deep. It required some courage to do that. They landed safely,
and for nearly three hundred years their descendants have lived and
worked and suffered all manner of hardships in New England. It's a
proper thing, Harry, that you should do your work where, mostly, they
did their work--in dear old Connecticut.'
"'And besides, it's the home of Marie,' he said.
"'And let us consider what there is to be done in the home of Marie,'
I went on. 'Here in the very town where so many of your fathers have
lived and worked we find a singular parade of folly. The idle rich
from a near city are closing in upon us. Many of the Yankees have
acquired property and ceased to work. Back in the distant hills they
toil not, but live from hand to mouth in a pitiful state of
degeneration. The work of the hand is almost entirely that of
Italians, Poles, Hungarians, and Greeks.
"'Our tradesmen have a low code of honor. They overcharge us for the
necessities of life. Many of them have been caught cheating. Our wives
and sons and daughters are living beyond their means, as if ignorant
of the fact that it is the beginning of dishonesty. Our poverty is
mostly that of the soul. The churches are dying, and the sabbath is
dead. What we need is a return to the honor, sanity, and common sense
of old New England, which gave of its fullness to the land we love.
Let's start a school of old-fashioned decency and Americanism. Let's
call it the Church of All Faiths and make it a center of power.'
"I laid the scheme before him in all its details, and then--
"'I'm with you,' he said, 'and I think I can see Knowles moving and
Deacon Joe coming down off his high horse.'
"'Possibly we could use Knowles,' I suggested. 'There'll be a lot of
detail.'
"'But only as a kind of clerk,' said Harry.
"As a kind of clerk, I agreed. 'We shall need a number of clerks. I
intend that every family within ten miles shall be visited at least
once a week. We shall not only let our light shine, but we shall make
it shine into every human heart in this community. If they're too
callous we'll punch a hole with our trusty blade and let the light in.
The lantern and the rapier shall be our weapons.'
"Harry was full of enthusiasm. He had met Marie on the street, and she
was glad to learn that he was going to work.
"'Incidentally, I hope to win your grandfather's consent,' he had said
to her.
"And she had answered: 'If you could do that I should think you were
an extremely able young man.'
"'And worthy of the best girl living?' Harry had urged.
"'That's too extravagant,' Marie had said as she left him.
"Harry went to work with me at once. He bought the rink and the ground
beneath it and some more alongside. We spent days and nights with an
architect making and remaking the plans, and by and by we knew that
we were right. Soon the contractor began his work, and in three months
we had finished the most notable meeting-house of modern times.
"The walls were tinted a rich cream color, the woodwork was painted
white. There were new carpets in the aisles, and between them
comfortable seats for nine hundred people. The fine old pulpit from
which Jonathan Edwards had preached his first sermon was the center of
a little garden of ferns and palms and vines and mosses, all growing
in good ground, with a small fountain in their midst--a symbol of
purity. A great sheet of plate glass behind the pulpit showed a
thicket of evergreens. High above the pulpit was another big sheet of
glass, through which one got a broad view of the sky, and it was
framed in these words: 'The heavens declare the glory of God and the
firmament showeth his handiwork.'
"The walls were adorned with handsome pictures loaned by my friends.
On one wall were these modern commandments, most of which were gleaned
from the masterly volume entitled _The Life and Writings of Robert
Delance, Bishop of St. Clare_, which Harry had found in a London
bookstore:
"1. 'Be grateful unto God, for He hath given thee life, time, and this
beautiful world. Other things thou shalt find for thyself.'
"2. 'Be brave with thy life, for it is very long.'
"3. 'Waste no time, for thy time is very little.'
"4. 'See that this world is the better for thy work and kindness.'
"5. 'Doubt not the truth of that thy senses tell thee, for thy God is
no deceiver.'
"6. 'Love the truth and live it, for no one is long deceived by
lying.'
"7. 'Give not unto the beast and neglect thy brother.'
"8. 'Go find thy brothers in the world and see that these be many, for
a man's strength and happiness are multiplied by the number of his
brothers.'
"9. 'Beware lest thy wealth come between thee and them and tend to
thine own poverty and theirs.'
"10. 'Suffer little children to come unto thee, for of such is the
kingdom of heaven.'
"The simple-hearted old Bishop had just the philosophy we needed. It
seemed to have been carefully designed to meet the inventiveness of
the modern sinner. He was turning out well and had already exerted a
wholesome influence on the character of Harry. Would that all
ancestors were as well chosen!
"We did not wish to hinder the other churches, and that spirit went
into all our plans. First, then, we decided that our services should
begin at twelve o'clock every Sunday, and close at one or before
twenty minutes after one. That gave our parishioners a chance to go
to the other churches if they wanted to. I traveled from Boston to St.
Louis, and returned _via_ Washington, to engage talent for our pulpit.
I wanted the best that this land afforded, and was prepared to pay its
price. I engaged nine ministers, distinguished for eloquence and
learning, three Governors, the Mayor of a Western city, two United
States Senators, one Congressman, and a Justice of the Supreme Court
of the land. They were all great-souled men, who had shown in word and
action a touch of the spirit of Jesus Christ. Some of them had been
throwing light into dark places and driving money-changers from the
temple and casting out devils. They were all qualified to enlighten
and lift up our souls.
"I asked that their lessons should be drawn from the lives of the
modern prophets--Abraham Lincoln, Silas Wright, Daniel Webster,
Charles Sumner, Henry Clay, Noah Webster, George William Curtis,
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Sidney Lanier, Horace Greeley, and others like
them. What I sought most was an increase of the love of honor and the
respect for industry in our young men and women. Holiness was a thing
for later consideration, it seemed to me.
"I put a full-page advertisement in each local paper, which read about
as follows:
"'The Church of All Faiths.
"'Built especially for sinners and for good people who wish to be
better.
"'Will begin its work in this community Sunday, June 19th, at twelve
o'clock, with a sermon by Socrates Potter, Esq., of Pointview, in
which he will set forth his view of what a church should do, and an
account of what this church proposes to do, for its parishioners.
Other churches are cordially invited to worship, and to work with us
for the good of Pointview.'
"The curiosity of all the people had been whetted to a keen edge. They
had begged for information, but Betsey and I had said that they
should know all about it in due time. I had given my plan to the
contributors only, and they were to keep still about it.
"Sometimes silence is the best advertisement, and certain men who seem
to be so modest that they are shocked by the least publicity are the
greatest advertisers in the world. The man who hides his candle under
a bushel is apt to be the one whose candle is best known. So it
happened with us. Nine hundred and sixteen people filled the seats in
our church that morning by twelve o'clock, and two hundred more were
trying to get in.
"At the next service an honored minister whose soul is even greater
than his fame preached for us, and that week a petition came to me,
signed by six hundred citizens, complaining that the hour was
inconvenient, and asking that it be changed to 10.30 A.M. I believe in
the voice of the people, and obeyed it; but I knew what would happen,
and it did. The other churches were deserted and silent. One by one
their ministers came to see me--all save one old gentleman in whom the
brimstone of wrath had begun to burn more fiercely. We needed and were
glad to have the help of two of them. There were the sick and the poor
to be visited; there were weddings and funerals and countless details
in the organization of the new church to be attended to.
"I ought to tell you that a curious and unexpected thing had happened.
Fisherfolk, street gamins, caddies, loafers on the docks and in the
livery stables, millionaires and million-heiresses--people who had
thought themselves either above or below religion--came to our
meetings. Each resembled in numbers a political rally.
"We have started an improvement school for Sunday evenings, in which
the great story is told in lectures and fine photographs thrown on a
screen. And not only the great story, but any story calculated to
inspire and enlighten the youthful mind. The best of the world's work
and art and certain of the great novels will be presented in this way.
I am going to get the great men of the world to give us three-minute
sermons on the phonograph. Thus I hope to make it possible for our
people to hear the voices and sentiments of kings, presidents,
premiers, statesmen, and prophets--the men and women who are making
history.
"We have started a small country club where poor boys and girls can
enjoy billiards, bowling, golf, and tennis. Any boy or girl in this
town who has a longing for better things is sought and found by our
ministers, and all kinds of encouragement are offered. People and
clergy of almost every faith that is known here in Pointview are
working side by side for one purpose. Think of that! The revolution
has been complete and mainly peaceful. As to the expense of it all,
we tax the rich, and for the rest we temper the wind to the length of
their wool.
"Of course, there were certain people who didn't like it, and among
them was Deacon Joe. He and four others hired a minister, and sat in
lonely sorrow in the old church every Sunday, until the expense
sickened them. Then the Deacon got mad at the town, and refused to be
seen in it.
"'Reach everybody,' had been one of our mottoes, and Deacon Joe said
that he guessed we wouldn't reach him."
XVI
WHICH PRESENTS AN INCIDENT IN OUR CAMPAIGN AGAINST NEW NEW ENGLAND
"We had some adventures in new New England which ought to be set down.
Here's one of them.
"The old village of Trent lies back in the hills, a little journey
from Pointview, on the shores of a pleasant river. To the unknowing
traveler, who approaches from either hilltop, it has a peaceful and
inviting look. But the rutted, rocky road begins at once to excite
suspicion. A bad road is an indication and a producer of degeneracy in
man and beast. It tends to profanity, and if it went far would
probably lead to hell. Trent itself is one of the little modern hells
of New England. There are the venerable and neatly fashioned houses of
the old-time Yankee--the peaked roofs and gables, the columns, the
cozy verandas, the garden spaces. But the old-time Yankees are gone.
The well-kept gardens are no more. Many of the houses are going to
ruin. One is an Italian tenement. The others are inhabited by
coachmen, chauffeurs, gardeners, mill-hands, and degenerate Yankees.
The inn is a mere barroom. Sounds of revelry and the odor of stale
beer come out of it. In front are teams of burden, abandoned, for a
time, by their drivers, and sundry human signs of decay loafing in the
shadow of the old lindens. Among them are the seedy remnants of a once
noble race. They are fettered by 'rheumatiz' and the disordered liver.
They move like boats dragging their anchors. To make life tolerable
their imaginations need assistance. They are like the Flub Dubs of
lost Atlantis. Each imagines himself the greatest man in the village.
They talk in loud words. They quarrel and fight over the crown. So it
has been a brawling, besotted community.
"Trent's leading citizen is a Yankee politician who owns most of its
real estate and derives a profit from its lawless traffic. Trent has
been his enterprise.
"Knowles went over there one day to conduct a funeral, which was
interrupted by a dog-fight under the coffin and nearly broken up by a
row over two dollars which had been found in a pocket of the dead
man.
"We opened a club-house next to the hotel, and began a campaign for
the regeneration of Trent. Soon we discovered that its one officer was
unwilling to arrest offenders against law and order. We had him
removed and a new man put in his place. This man was set upon and
severely beaten, and lost interest in the good work. Then Harry
applied for the job and got it. He took with him a force of husky
young men--mostly college boys. The first day on duty he arrested in
the street a drunken man who carried in his hands a small sack of
potatoes. The latter whistled for help, and the enemies of law and
order swarmed out of their haunts. Harry had become an expert ball
pitcher, noted for speed and accuracy. He floored his man and took
possession of the potatoes, with which he proceeded to defend himself.
Only two balls were pitched, but they held the enemy in check until
Harry's deputies had rushed out of the club-house. A flying wedge
scattered the crowd. No further violence was needed. The ruffians saw
that he meant business and had the nerve and muscle to carry it
through, and nothing more was necessary--just then.
"They took the drunken man to the lock-up, and came back and got a
bartender, and led him in the same path. Harry has the situation well
in hand, and is the most popular man in our community. Every day we
have items to put to his credit, and nothing to charge against his
reputation. There's something going on at the club every evening, and
the rooms are crowded. Those men who had sat day by day brawling under
the lindens now spend most of their leisure in the reading and card
rooms. Peace reigns in Trent. Such is the power of united benevolence
working with the strong hand and the courageous spirit."
XVII
WHICH PRESENTS A DECISIVE INCIDENT IN OUR CAMPAIGN AGAINST OLD NEW
ENGLAND
"Harry was pretty well disabled with affection for a time. He was like
a Yankee with the 'rheumatiz,' and you know when a Yankee gets hold of
the 'rheumatiz' he hangs on. It don't often get away from him. It
becomes an asset--a conservational asset--an ever-present help in time
of haying.
"Since Harry's return the tactics of Marie had been faultless. Her
eyes had said, 'Come on,' while her words had firmly held him off. He
shook the tree every time they met, but the squirrel wouldn't come
down.
"It was a hard part for Marie to play, between the pressure of two
handsome boys and her duty to grandpapa. The Reverend Robert had won
the favor of the old gentleman by turning from tennis to agriculture
for exercise. He had gone over to the Benson farm and helped with the
spring's work; he had supper there every Sunday evening, after which
he conducted a little service for the Deacon's benefit. He was
pressing, as they say in golf, and it didn't improve his game. I saw
that Marie was not quite so fond of him. I had maintained an attitude
of strict neutrality, but could not fail to observe that Marie had
begun to lean.
"'You have captured the rest of Pointview, and you ought to be able to
take Benson's Hill,' Marie had said to Harry. 'Grandfather is the last
enemy of your crusade.'
"It was a timely touch on the accelerator, and Harry began to speed up
a little.
"'The farm is so well defended, and there's nothing I dread so much as
a hickory cane,' the boy had answered. 'The last visit I made to the
farm I wondered whether I was going to convert him to my way of
thinking, or he was going to convert me to jelly.'
"Indeed, Deacon Joe stood firm as a mountain. People were saying that
the minister would win in a walk, when Marie converted her grandfather
by the most remarkable bit of woman's strategy that I ever observed.
It was Napoleonic.