Arrival at Aix-la-Chapelle.--Glimpse of a dingy grove.--Melancholy
saunterers.--Dusseldorf Gallery.--Nocturnal depredators.--Arrival
at Cologne.--Shrine of the Three Wise Sovereigns.--Peregrinations
of their beatified bones.--Road to Bonn.--Delights of
Catholicism.--Azure mountains.--Visionary palaces.
We arrived at Aix-la-Chapelle about ten at night, and saw the mouldering
turrets of that once illustrious capital by the help of a candle and
lantern. An old woman at the gate asked our names (for not a single
soldier appeared); and after traversing a number of superannuated
streets without perceiving the least trace of Charlemagne or his
Paladins, we procured comfortable though not magnificent apartments, and
slept most unheroically sound, till it was time to set forward for
Dusseldorf.
July 8th.--As we were driven out of the town, I caught a glimpse of a
grove, hemmed in by dingy buildings, where a few water-drinkers were
sauntering along to the sound of some rueful French horns; the wan
greenish light admitted through the foliage made them look like unhappy
souls condemned to an eternal lounge for having trifled away their
existence. It was not with much regret that I left such a party behind;
and, after experiencing the vicissitudes of good roads and rumbling
pavements, crossed the Rhine and travelled on to Dusseldorf.
Nothing but the famous gallery of paintings could invite strangers to
stay a moment within its walls; more crooked streets, more indifferent
houses, one seldom meets with; except soldiers, not a living creature
moving about them; and at night a complete regiment of bugs “marked me
for their own.” Thus I lay, at once the seat of war and the conquest of
these detestable animals, till early in the morning (Sunday, July 9th),
when Morpheus, compassionating my sufferings, opened the ivory gates of
his empire, and freed his votary from the most unconscionable vermin
ever engendered. In humble prose, I fell fast asleep; and remained
quiet, in defiance of my adversaries, till it was time to survey the
cabinet.
This collection is displayed in five large galleries, and contains some
valuable productions of the Italian school; but the room most boasted of
is that which Rubens has filled with no less than three enormous
representations of the last day, where an innumerable host of sinners
are exhibited as striving in vain to avoid the tangles of the devil’s
tail. The woes of several fat luxurious souls are rendered in the
highest gusto. Satan’s dispute with some brawny concubines, whom he is
lugging off in spite of all their resistance, cannot be too much admired
by those who approve this class of subjects, and think such strange
embroglios in the least calculated to raise a sublime or a religious
idea.
For my own part, I turned from them with disgust, and hastened to
contemplate a holy family by Camillo Procaccini, in another apartment.
The brightest imagination can never conceive any figure more graceful
than that of the young Jesus; and if ever I beheld an inspired
countenance or celestial features, it was here: but to attempt conveying
in words what the pencil alone can express, would be only reversing the
absurdity of many a master in the gallery who aims to represent those
ideas by the pencil which language alone is able to describe. Should
you admit this opinion, you will not be surprised at my passing such a
multitude of renowned pictures unnoticed; nor at my bringing you out of
the cabinet without deluging ten pages with criticisms in the style of
the ingenious Lady Miller.
As I had spent so much time in the gallery, the day was too far advanced
to think of travelling to Cologne; I was therefore obliged to put myself
once more under the dominion of the most inveterate bugs in the
universe. This government, like many others, made but an indifferent use
of its power, and the subject suffering accordingly was extremely
rejoiced at flying from his persecutors to Cologne.
July 10th.--Clouds of dust hindered my making any remarks on the
exterior of this celebrated city; but if its appearance be not more
beautiful from without than within, I defy the most courteous compiler
of geographical dictionaries to launch forth very warmly in its praise.
But of what avail are stately palaces, broad streets, or airy markets,
to a town which can boast of such a treasure as the bodies of those
three wise sovereigns who were star-led to Bethlehem? Is not this
circumstance enough to procure it every kind of respect? I really
believe so, from the pious and dignified contentment of its inhabitants.
They care not a hair of an ass’s ear whether their houses be gloomy and
ill-contrived, their pavements overgrown with weeds, and their shops
half choked up with filthiness, provided the carcasses of Gaspar,
Melchior, and Balthazar might be preserved with proper decorum. Nothing,
to be sure, can be richer than the shrine which contains these precious
relics. I paid my devotions before it the moment I arrived; this step
was inevitable: had I omitted it, not a soul in Cologne but would have
cursed me for a Pagan.
Do you not wonder at hearing of these venerable bodies so far from their
native country? I thought them snug under some Arabian cupola ten feet
deep in spice; but who can tell what is to become of one a few ages
hence? Who knows but the Emperor of Morocco may be canonized some future
day in Lapland? I asked, of course, how in the name of miracles they
came hither? but found no story of a supernatural conveyance. It seems
that great collectress of relics, the holy Empress Helena, first routed
them out: then they were packed off to Rome. King Alaric, having no
grace, bundled them down to Milan; where they remained till it pleased
Heaven to inspire an ancient archbishop with the fervent wish of
depositing them at Cologne; there these skeletons were taken into the
most especial consideration, crowned with jewels and filigreed with
gold. Never were skulls more elegantly mounted; and I doubt whether
Odin’s buffet could exhibit so fine an assortment. The chapel containing
these beatified bones is placed in a dark extremity of the cathedral.
Several golden lamps gleam along the polished marbles with which it is
adorned, and afford just light enough to read the following monkish
inscription:--
“CORPORA SANCTORUM RECUBANT HIC TERNA MAGORUM:
EX HIS SUBLATUM NIHIL EST ALIBIVE LOCATUM.”
After I had satisfied my curiosity with respect to the peregrinations of
the consecrated skeletons, I examined their shrine; and was rather
surprised to find it not only enriched with barbaric gold and pearl, but
covered with cameos and intaglios of the best antique sculpture. Many an
impious emperor and gross Silenus, many a wanton nymph and frantic
bacchanal, figure in the same range with the statues of saints and
evangelists. How St. Helena could tolerate such a mixed assembly (for
the shrine, they say, was formed under her auspices) surpasses my
comprehension. Perhaps you will say, it is no great matter; and give me
a hint to move out of the chapel, lest the three kings and their star
should lead me quite out of my way. Very well; I think I had better stop
in time, to tell you, without further excursion, that we set off after
dinner for Bonn.
Our road-side was lined with beggarly children, high convent walls, and
scarecrow crucifixes, lubberly monks, dejected peasants, and all the
delights of Catholicism. Such scenery not engaging a share of my
attention, I kept gazing at the azure irregular mountains which bounded
our view, and in thought was already transported to their summits. Vast
and wild were the prospects I surveyed from my imaginary exaltation, and
innumerable the chimeras which trotted in my brain. Under their
capricious influence my fancy built castles and capitols in the clouds
with all the extravaganza of Piranesi. The magnificence and variety of
my aërial structures hindered my thinking the way long. I was walking
with a crowd of phantoms upon their terraces, when the carriage made a
halt. Immediately descending the innumerable flights of steps which
divide such lofty edifices from the lower world, I entered the inn at
Bonn, and was shown into an apartment which commands the chief front of
the Elector’s residence. You may guess how contemptible it appeared to
one just returned from palaces bedecked with all the pomp of visionary
splendour. In other respects I saw it at a very favourable moment, for
the twilight, shading the whole façade, concealed its plastered walls
and painted columns.