CHAPTER XXVIII.

CINCINNATI.

IT was about the first of April, when the weather was delightful, and

the nights were lighted by the full moon, that I left Wheeling for

Cincinnati, on board the new little steamer “Como.” I had a pleasant

voyage of two days and two nights, and might write a good many pages

descriptive of it; but that’s old. Moreover, it is not John-Smithian.

As I wished to remain in Cincinnati for a month, I hired a lodging-room

for that length of time, paying the money in advance, because it was not

perfectly clear that I wasn’t a “deep-dyed villain.”

The landlady, for the sum of eighteen dollars, placed me in possession

of a neat, tidy room, upstairs, and I there wrote and slept for one

month; taking my meals at a neighboring saloon.

The proprietress of my lodging-house, who was a German lady—one of the

Germanest I ever saw—accompanied me to the hall-door as I walked out to

have my trunk sent up. On reaching the foot of the stairs in the hall, I

noticed a room on the left-hand side, with the door standing open, and,

involuntarily glancing in, perceived that it was handsomely furnished.

“Dat,” said the landlady, whose knowledge of English, it will be

perceived, was very imperfect, “is—is—two—ah—ah—play-mens—actors, you

knows. Dey rent it from me. Dirty-five tollar pays.”

“Quite reasonable,” said I. “A nice room. Where do they play?”

“At de—de Deaters, you knows.”

I had naturally inferred as much, but pretended to receive this as a

piece of extraordinary information, and said:

“Ah? Indeed?”

“Yes. Dey gets—lots—great big much—vat you call ’em—vages.”

“O, yes. They get good wages?”

“Yes, von pig much tollars.”

I had my trunk sent to my new quarters, then took a leisurely stroll

through the “City of Pork.” I first called on my friend Major J. P.

Kline, on Sixth street, and before I left him, he made me promise to

accompany him to the theater that night, stating that Proctor was to

play the tragedy of “Virginius,” at the I-forget-the-name-of-it Theater.

I then took a further walk, and in a couple of hours returned to my

lodgings and wrote a letter to an eastern paper, in which I gave a great

deal of valuable information concerning Cincinnati—considering my

limited knowledge of it.

I accompanied my friend to the theater that evening, and saw Proctor

play “Virginius.” He performed his part well; but there was one actor,

of lofty mien, who personated Icilius in the tragedy, and who attracted

my attention and won my admiration more than any other. He was perfectly

majestic. I thought he should have been born a king, at least. He

uttered every word with a loftiness and dignity, and in clear, ringing,

impressive, awe-inspiring tones, that would have graced an emperor.

Every word he uttered he seemed to feel; and whenever he was on the

stage, I fancied I was looking on the genuine Icilius, himself, and on

those real tragic events that occurred in the days of the Decemviri;

instead of a mere representation of them.

Virginius was cheered, applauded, encored; but Icilius more than

“brought down the house.” When _he_ came out with the eloquent and

brilliant passages which it was his office to repeat, the effect was

electrical. The audience was dumb with admiration, and seemed ready to

rise up in the air on the wings of enthusiasm, bear Icilius to the

skies, and have him enrolled among the gods!

That night, on reaching my “apartments” on Plum street, (having loitered

by the way,) I observed that the ground-floor room I mentioned was

lighted, and that its occupants were at home. As I entered the hall and

closed the street-door behind me, I observed that the room-door stood

wide open; and I heard voices within. One of them, who was standing at

the center of the room, adjusting the gas-burner, just then vexedly

exclaimed to his companion:

“Pshaw! Gol-darn it, Bill! Where’s me pipe?”

Wondering if a person so harsh-spoken could be one of the actors

mentioned by the landlady, I involuntarily glanced in, as I walked past

the door toward the hall-stairs. The face of the speaker, who continued

to growl about “me pipe,” was toward the door, and the glare of several

gas-burners shone full upon his visage.

Ye mythic gods! Ye gods, Grecian and Roman! Ye gods, from great Jupiter

down to the nude little cuss with the bow and arrows, inclusive! It was

Icilius! Where now his gallant bearing—his majestic mien—his glittering

armor—his proud helmet—his waving plume—and the burnished sword I had

seen him flourish, as though it were a king’s scepter? Where!! Where,

too, was that noble look of defiance with which he had confronted

Claudius Appius? Where that expression of more than mortal anguish that

had settled upon his god-like face when beautiful Virginia, loved

Virginia, _his_ Virginia, was slain with a butcher-knife by her own

father, to avert dishonor? All gone! Gone!!

“Dash it, then, give me a cigar,” I heard him say, as I passed the door.

He was in his shirt-sleeves, his shirt was unbuttoned at the collar, and

carelessly thrown open to let the air in upon his manly breast, after

his exertion; and, instead of the “raven locks” he had worn that night,

his head was covered with short, stiff, reddish hair—_locks_ not so

easily broken. Still, in his eyes, features, and voice, with all his

change of dress and bearing, I recognized Icilius! “How are the mighty

fallen!” Was it for him I had that night stamped, clapped my hands, and

screamed “Encore?” I felt small, and said, to myself, “Icilius!

I-cili-us! I silly ass! To think how I yelled, cheered, and _encored_

this night for such a worm as thou!” I then went up to my room,

resolving never to applaud an actor again, without knowing him to be a

“star.” It is perfectly safe then, for we seldom see _them_ in

dishabille.

Next day Major Kline and I visited a pleasant resort on the river shore,

several miles above the city, known as “Ohmer’s Zoological Gardens.”

“Pete” Ohmer, the proprietor, was a friend of Major Kline, and he

cheerfully accompanied us through his pleasant grounds, showed us the

numerous animals which he had on exhibition, and explained their

peculiarities. They were all in cages, because some of them were

dangerous, while the others might run away.

He had one “gentle” bear that was a perfect pet, and would fondle upon

one like a dog. (That sentence is ambiguous. I do not mean that he would

fondle upon one who was like unto a dog, (the son of a female dog,) but

that he would fondle in a manner similar to that of that sagacious

animal.) I put my hand in his mouth, and he playfully closed on it with

his excellent teeth, just enough to make the blood come: no more. After

that, I patted him affectionately on the head and left the cage. As I

did so, he left the marks of his teeth on my crutch, and growled a

pleasant “good-by.”

Another cage we visited contained an animal which I thought looked fully

as good-natured as the pet bear.

“What animal is this, Mr. Ohmer?” I asked, as I walked up to the cage,

and was about to thrust my hand through the bars and pat the

gentle-looking creature on the head.

“That is the Cal——Look out! Don’t put your hand in! Were you going to?”

“Yes: he looks so pleasant, and——”

“O, it’s well you didn’t. You think him a good-natured fellow, eh?

That’s what we call a California Tiger. Watch me stir him up, if you

think him a pleasant fellow.”

He picked up an iron rod, thrust it into the cage, between the bars, and

gave the creature, which had the honor to hail from California, an

abrupt poke on the ribs. The result fairly startled me. The animal,

which had appeared as docile as a kitten a moment before, now sprang up,

uttered a growl as fierce as thunder only ten yards distant, displayed a

mouthful of sharp white teeth an inch long, and fastened upon the iron

rod with its savage jaws. At the same time its eyes glared like balls of

fire, and seemed ready to dart out at me. Altogether, the savage

creature looked as though it could bite a man’s leg off without noticing

that there was a bone in it.

“What if you had put your hand in?” said Major Kline.

“It would have bit it off, I suppose,” I returned; “and I couldn’t well

afford to lose it.”

“Yes,” said Pete Ohmer, “he could snap your hand off in a second, and

eat it up; and it would only give him an appetite to eat the rest of

you.”

I could not help congratulating myself on my narrow escape, and resolved

never to trust my hand to an unknown animal, merely because I liked its

gentle appearance.

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