General visit to Friends in New England, 1816.
Fourth day, the 3d of 1st month, 1816. After taking a solemn and
affecting opportunity with my dear wife and children, I took leave of
them under a sense of the Lord’s goodness and gracious regard, and
proceeded on my intended journey. Called on my kind kinsman Isaac
Hicks, of Westbury, who had previously concluded to go with me as a
companion. We proceeded that afternoon to New-York, where we tarried
over the next day. On sixth day morning we left the city, and arrived
at Bridgeport, in Connecticut, on seventh day evening, where we had
a small though comfortable meeting, the next day, at the house of
Thomas Woodward, whose wife was a member of our society. After this we
proceeded to New Haven, and lodged. On second day we rode to Hartford,
and lodged.
On third and fourth days, rode to Leicester, and lodged with our
friend Pliny Earle. On fifth day had an appointed meeting there, at
the eleventh hour. A number of the neighbouring people, not of our
society, attended with Friends, among whom was their priest. It was,
I think, a season of favour, in which my heart and mouth were opened,
under, I trust, the influence of gospel love, to declare the way of
life and salvation to the people; proving from the scriptures, and
clear rational demonstration, that nothing short of the inspiring
spirit of truth, could enable any rational creature to make the least
progress in a real Christian life, or qualify to worship the Father
of spirits, in spirit and in truth; and that a confession to all, or
any creeds or forms of religion, however specious in their appearance,
without the immediate aid of this inspiring spirit, would, in the end,
leave the soul in utter disappointment. I was also led to show the
unreasonableness and inconsistency of the doctrine of unconditional
election and reprobation, and that it was impossible to be drawn from a
right and enlightened view of the divine character.
There occurred one circumstance in the meeting, which, as it was in
itself improper, and gave some interruption to my mind, I am willing to
mention as a caution. When the meeting had got pretty quietly settled,
and my mind opened with a prospect to stand up, just before I was about
to rise, there came in a stranger, in appearance; and a Friend who sat
near me spoke to him to come forward, and called him _parson_, meaning
a priest, which I was very sorry to be informed of: for I think that
Friends ought to be exceedingly careful, never to inform travelling
ministers the state or condition of those who attend their meetings,
as it not only has a tendency to close up the way very much, of real
gospel ministers, but when close and plain things are delivered, they
often are judged of having outward information of the condition of
those to whom it applies; which, if it be the case, it would most
likely be the means of rendering their labour useless; but if from
inquiry such find that the speaker was utterly ignorant of them, from
any outward discovery, it is then much more likely to fix on their
minds and become useful.
After dining with our friends, we proceeded on our journey about
thirteen miles that evening, with a view of endeavouring to get
an opportunity with Friends at Bolton, the next day; but the
morning opened with a pretty severe snow storm, which rendered it
impracticable. However, we proceeded in the morning through the snow,
and with much difficulty reached that place, where we tarried until
first day. We had then a very comfortable edifying meeting with
Friends; and continued there, at the house of our kind friend John Fry,
until second day morning, and then proceeded to Lynn.
On third day, the 16th, we proceeded to Seabrook, in order to attend
the quarterly meeting, which opened the next day with a meeting of
Ministers and Elders. On fifth day was the quarterly meeting for
discipline, preceded by a meeting for worship. It was a season of
favour, especially the meeting for worship, wherein my mind was largely
opened to preach the gospel in the demonstration of the spirit, to the
comfort and edification of the upright in heart; many being reduced
into a state of humble contrition and thankfulness for the unmerited
mercy.
On sixth day we proceeded to Epping, where, by previous notice, we
had a meeting in the evening, in which the Lord’s power and presence
presided in a very eminent manner; and his truth raised into victory
over all, and ran as oil, quieting and solemnizing every thing that
stood in opposition to its pure holy influence. I scarcely ever was at
a meeting, wherein all were so swallowed up in a profound solemnity,
that when the meeting closed, it was sometime before any removed from
their seats. Surely it was the Lord’s doing.
From thence we went the next day to Lee, and had a small comfortable
meeting at the eleventh hour, and then proceeded to Dover. On first
day attended Friends’ meeting there at the eleventh hour, at the close
of which, feeling a draft of love towards the inhabitants of the town
at large, with the unity of Friends, there was a meeting appointed in
the evening, and general invitation given; at which there was a very
large collection of the various sects, amongst whom my mind was largely
opened, and my tongue loosed, I trust, by Him who opens, and none can
shut, and shuts and none can open, to declare of the things concerning
the kingdom of God, and to point out to the people, in a very clear
manner, the way of life and salvation, unfolding many important
doctrines of the gospel, in the clear demonstration of the spirit,
bowing and humbling many minds present, and rejoicing the hearts of the
faithful; under a sense whereof my mind was bowed in deep abasedness
for the favour.
Next morning we proceeded to Berwick, and had an instructive edifying
meeting there in the evening, wherein many hearts, with mine own,
were made thankful. The next day we proceeded to Portland, a town on
Casco Bay. The following day, being the fourth of the week, we rode
to Falmouth, and attended their select meeting, constituted of the
Ministers and Elders belonging to Falmouth meeting. It was small,
and the business conducted in a very weak, and, in my view, a very
improper manner; for, previous to the meeting, it appeared that the
clerk had, at his leisure, entered the business of the meeting, as
though at meeting, and made answers to all the queries; so that when
the meeting collected, they had nothing to do, but to hear him read
over what he had before written, and which, without any alteration,
was approved; some representatives to the quarterly meeting appointed,
and the meeting closed. On taking a view of the subject, I was led to
believe that meetings, held in such a way, brought no honour to the
cause, nor strength nor profit, to those who attend them.
At the close of the meeting, we rode to our friend John Winslow’s, and
lodged; and the next day attended Falmouth monthly meeting. The two
following days we attended the select meeting at Windham, and their
monthly meeting. First day attended Windham meeting; and on second day,
an appointed meeting at Gorham. On third day we rested, and wrote. On
fourth day their quarterly meeting opened at Windham, which closed on
fifth day. Sixth day, had an appointed meeting at Falmouth. On seventh
day rode to Durham; and on first day attended their meeting, which was
large, notice having been given to the neighbouring inhabitants of
our coming. Second day, rode back to Portland, and had an appointed
meeting with Friends and others that evening. On third day attended an
appointed meeting at Cape Elizabeth, and then returned to Portland, and
had a large public meeting in the evening. On fourth day we were at
Scarborough.
I then felt my mind released from any further service in this quarter;
but before I proceed, am led in humble gratitude and thankfulness of
heart, to acknowledge the goodness and mercy of Israel’s Shepherd, who,
in his never-failing love, was graciously near from place to place,
and clothed the assemblies with his presence and power, opening my
mind in every meeting for worship, to preach the gospel, humbling and
contriting many minds, and comforting and edifying the willing and
upright in heart. Surely it is the Lord that worketh in us and for us;
magnified and adored be his right worthy name, both now and for ever,
to whom all the praise belongs: nothing due to man.
After the meeting at Scarborough, I went with my kind friend William
Cobb to his house at Gorham, he having taken me in his chaise from
Portland to Scarborough; for our way of travelling was with a sled:
but the snow on the seacoast was so wasted as to render it difficult
getting along with it. It was therefore concluded that my companion
should go back into the country to Gorham, where the snow was more
abundant; and William accompanied me as aforesaid. We met again in the
evening at his house, and the next day returned to Berwick, and the day
following to Dover.
On seventh day I proceeded to Rochester, accompanied by Thomas
Stackpole. My companion being unwell, it was thought best for him to
rest until our return. We attended the upper meeting in that town
in the evening; and the next day, at the eleventh hour, were at the
lower meeting. After this we returned to Dover, to attend a meeting in
the evening, which had been concluded to be appointed previous to my
going out; and general notice having been given, it was very large.
They were all seasons of favour, in which the Lord’s presence was felt
to preside, and truth raised into dominion; particularly the last,
wherein my heart and mouth were largely opened, and the gospel preached
in the demonstration of the spirit, attended with power, solemnizing
this large assembly. Truth reigned, and the meeting closed with humble
supplication and prayer to the Lord.
Second day, the 12th of 2d month. We returned to Seabrook, to the house
of our kind friend Joseph Phillbrick, and had an appointed meeting
there that evening. The next day proceeded to Almsbury and Newbury, and
had a meeting at each place, the latter in the evening. They were open
favoured seasons, particularly the meeting at Almsbury, in which truth
prevailed, and ran as oil over all. A ministering friend observed,
after the meeting, that he believed the witness was raised in every
mind present. It was indeed a precious strengthening opportunity to
my own mind: may the honour and praise be all ascribed to Israel’s
Shepherd, to whom it is altogether due. How deeply humbling are such
continued mercies, dispensed to us poor unworthy creatures. Lay low,
O my soul! for thou well knowest that it is the Lord’s power only,
clothed in righteous judgment and never-failing mercy, that has raised
thee from the dunghill, where thou hadst plunged thyself by thy own
follies; yea, it is he who has plucked thy feet out of the mire and
clay of sin, and set them on a rock, and strengthened thee in faith to
believe, that as thou dwellest in deep humiliation before him, resting
on his mercy, until self is fully mortified, and the old man with his
deeds is utterly crucified, he will establish thy going, and put a new
song into thy mouth, even eternal praises to thy God. Even so be it.
Amen.
We left Newbury on fourth day morning, and returned to Salem, and
attended their meeting, the next day, as it came in course, at which
there was a marriage accomplished between two worthy Friends, elders
in society. It was a comfortable edifying season, in which I was led
to set forth the deep and solemn obligations which mutually attach
to the parties entering into the marriage covenant--obligations that
can never be rightly and harmoniously fulfilled, so as to render the
parties truly happy together, unless they are of one mind and one
heart, in all matters of importance, but more especially in regard
to their principles of religion and faith; for if these are diverse,
it will most likely imbitter their enjoyments, and produce discord
in their family, and tend to wound and distract the minds of their
children, should they be favoured with any. It therefore bespeaks great
presumption and folly in young people to risk the attempt, especially
on such slender reasons as are commonly brought forward as a plea, that
one of the parties may change their opinion, and come to unite with the
other. This, however, is very fallacious, as such change is uncertain;
and no man of reason will trust thereto in the most trivial matters,
for each generally suppose themselves in the right, and look for the
other to condescend and conform; and therefore the breach often becomes
greater.
On sixth day evening, we had an appointed meeting for the inhabitants
of the town in general. It was very large, consisting of the various
religious sects, and some of almost every description of people, who
commonly reside in such populous towns. I was largely opened among
them in the line of the ministry, in which I was led to set forth the
excellency of man’s primitive state, before the fall, in which he
was placed by the wisdom and goodness of his all-wise and gracious
Creator, and furnished with sufficient light and understanding to
know that he was altogether the work of his almighty power, and that
he derived his life and existence, with every other blessing he had,
or could have, from his bountiful hand; under a just sense whereof,
while he stood in this happy state, every desire of his soul flowed
with a continual ascent to him, as his only comforter and preserver.
In this state he realized the condition the apostle reminds us of in
this exhortation: “Rejoice evermore; pray without ceasing; and in every
thing give thanks:” this being the only true delineation of a faithful
servant of God. But from this happy state man fell, by a wrong use and
abuse of those powers and capacities conferred on him as a free agent,
and without which he neither could have known nor served his God:
therefore, man’s fall was altogether an act of his own choice, contrary
to known duty; and had it not been so, he could not possibly have felt
guilt and condemnation for what he had done.
I was also led to open to the people that the great end of Christ’s
coming was to introduce the gospel, which is the last and most blessed
dispensation of God to the children of men, as by it only can man be
restored to this primitive state, and without which restoration he
cannot effectually serve God in spirit. This gospel our Lord told his
disciples his Father would send them in his name, and which is the
Holy Ghost or power of God sent down from heaven, which well agrees
with the doctrine of the apostle Paul, where he tells us, that the
gospel of Christ “is the power of God unto salvation, to every one that
believeth.” This therefore supposes, that those who do not obey the
spirit of truth, or Holy Ghost, which convinces them of sin, do not
believe the gospel, and therefore are not benefitted by it: of course
they remain under the power and dominion of sin.
After this favoured meeting, I felt myself much indisposed with a very
severe cold and fever, and had to keep house until the next third day,
when we proceeded to Lynn. The following day we attended their meeting
held in the middle of the week; and notice being given of our intention
of being there, it was large. The power of truth went forth freely,
tendering many minds, and comforting the faithful and upright in heart.
The next day we proceeded on our way to Long Plain, where we arrived
the day following, about noon. Had a meeting there that evening. The
day after had a meeting at the eleventh hour, at Accushnet. They were
both favoured meetings.
We then proceeded to New Bedford; and the next day, the first of the
week, and 25th of 2d month, we attended their forenoon and afternoon
meetings. In these my mind was largely opened in gospel communication,
tending to expose the man of sin and son of perdition, manifesting that
he was nothing but self in man, and showing that, in his mysterious
workings, in leading man to endeavour to imitate God, in doing good
and performing acts under the show of religion and religious worship,
but all done in his own will and time, the whole mystery of iniquity
is comprehended. For in man’s thus turning away from God and the
inspirings of his holy spirit, consists his fall, as he takes upon
himself an independent state, and assumes the right of self-government,
and becomes his own director; therefore, his salvation wholly consists
in surrendering up this self-ability, letting it die on the cross,
and returning into a state of full submission to the leading and sole
guidance of the inspiring spirit of God. My mind was largely opened on
these and other truths of the gospel in those meetings, whereby truth
was raised into dominion over all, to the comfort and peace of my own
mind, and to the apparent satisfaction, instruction, and edification of
the rightly exercised and seeking minds present.
The three following days we attended meetings at Newtown, Centre, and
the monthly meeting of Dartmouth, or Aponegansett. In each of these I
was largely opened in gospel communication, particularly in the last.
The truth was powerfully raised into dominion over all, spreading a
precious solemnity over the meeting, and much contrition of spirit was
manifested. It was the Lord’s doing, and to him belongs all the praise
of his own work, nothing due to the creature but blushing and confusion
of face.
Fifth and sixth days. We had meetings at Acoaksett, alias West Port,
and Little Compton. In both the gospel was preached in truth’s
authority; the latter especially was a powerful melting season to most
present, inspiring the mind with deep thankfulness and gratitude to the
bountiful Author of every blessing.
On seventh day we proceeded to Newport, on Rhode Island, and attended
Friends’ forenoon and afternoon meetings on first day. On second day,
had an appointed meeting at Portsmouth. After this, with peace of
mind, we left the island that afternoon, and went to Tiverton, and
lodged with our kind friend Joseph Barker. We had an appointed meeting
there the next day, and the day following were at Swansey. Truth was
eminently exalted in these meetings, especially the latter, which was a
powerful baptizing season, in which the Lord’s presence was witnessed,
and much brokenness and contrition of spirit was spread over the
meeting. This was witnessed, not only by Friends, but by many others
not in profession with us, encouraging and gladdening every sincere
mind for the unmerited favour. After this solemn meeting, we took leave
of our Friends, and rode that afternoon to Providence.
The next day we attended Friends’ meeting there, as it came in course,
in which my mind was led to exemplify and set forth, the excellency
and blessed effects of true and strict justice in all our dealings
and commerce between man and man, as rational social beings; which
was introduced into my mind by the remembrance of this saying of the
wisest of men, viz. Solomon: “Righteousness exalteth a nation, but sin
is a reproach to any people.” My mind was opened to show the great
and essential difference there is, between the righteousness of man,
as comprehended in, and tolerated by the laws, customs, edicts and
traditions of men, and the righteousness of God, which is altogether
comprehended in pure, equal, impartial and unchangeable justice:
showing that every act of man, which is not in conformity to this
pure and impartial justice, is sin; and that whatever we do that has
a tendency, either directly or indirectly, to counteract this pure,
simple, impartial justice, cannot be considered as any part of that
righteousness which exalts a nation, as it cannot bring glory to God;
for no righteousness, but God’s righteousness, wrought in man by this
pure principle of justice, can possibly glorify him, as this must be
the foundation of every virtue in man.
It was a season of close searching labour, by which the hidden things
of Esau, or the first nature, in which the serpentine wisdom works,
deceiving multitudes; was brought to light and exposed: especially that
cunning sophistical reasoning in the wisdom of this world, which many
people are making use of to justify themselves, and thereby stifle
and put to silence the convictions of conscience, while acting in
direct opposition to this pure principle of justice; by continuing a
traffic in, and making themselves rich, by a commerce in the produce
of the labour of the poor, afflicted and deeply oppressed Africans and
their descendants, held in a state of slavery by the mere force of
war, and which is wrested from them without their consent. Truth was
exalted over all, and unrighteousness exposed, and its evil effects on
societies and individuals manifested.
After this arduous meeting, not feeling myself clear of the town, I
appointed another meeting in the evening. Public notice being given,
it was large, not only of the white inhabitants, but a large number
of the people of colour also attended. It was a season of favour, and
much doctrine was communicated, suited to the states of those present;
tending to the edification and instruction of the seeking minds of the
varied sects, many of whom were collected in this solemn assembly. I
closed with a peaceful mind, and the next day we proceeded to Scituate,
and had a very edifying tendering meeting there.
The day following, being the first of the week, we were at Friends’
meeting at Foster. It was a small meeting of Friends, but a very
considerable number of the neighbouring people came in of different
persuasions. I was led to open and explain among them many essential
doctrines of Christianity, which, crossing the carnal views of these
outside professors, and striking at their creaturely activity in
their religious services, I felt as I proceeded a strong spirit of
opposition in some of this description, but truth favoured so that
no outward opposition was manifested, and the meeting closed under a
covering of solemn quiet.
On second day evening we attended an appointed meeting in Friends’
meeting-house at Plainfield. There are but few Friends belonging
to this meeting, the whole consisting of but three families; but a
considerable number of their neighbours came in and sat with us. We
likewise appointed another meeting the next day at a Friend’s house in
the northern part of this town, at the second hour in the afternoon,
which was well attended by the neighbouring people. These two last
meetings closed my visit to Friends and others, in the compass of Rhode
Island yearly meeting. They were opportunities of favour, in which
much gospel instruction was communicated, to the general edification,
comfort and satisfaction of the people, and which was acknowledged by
many of them. In parting with them I felt the incomes of sweet peace,
as a crown to all my deep exercises and ardent gospel labours, in this
visit to Friends and others in the compass of that yearly meeting: a
sense of which humbles my mind in deep thankfulness and gratitude, to
the bountiful Author of all our mercies and blessings, who is over all,
God blessed for ever.
We proceeded from thence on fourth day, directly to the city of
Hartford; and on fifth day evening had a large meeting there, held in a
meeting-house belonging to the Baptists. I was led forth among them in
a large doctrinal testimony, showing that Christ’s coming in the flesh,
was designed to supersede the dispensation of Moses, which stood in
mere legal righteousness, consisting of carnal ordinances, and relating
only to the outward or animal body, made up of circumcision, outward
sacrifices, elementary washings and cleansings, and the blood of slain
beasts, &c.: all which were only outward, and therefore could not
effect the soul, nor make the comers thereunto perfect, as pertaining
to the conscience.
I was likewise led to open the nature of the true Christian Sabbath,
which is the antitype of the typical one, and does not consist in a
rest to the body merely for a day, but in a perpetual rest to the
soul by its coming into Christ, and submitting to the government of
his spirit, and entirely ceasing from its own willings and runnings,
by which reconciliation is witnessed, and peace made with our heavenly
Father. These things and much more, I had to open to the people, in the
fresh feelings of the love and life of truth, which was exalted over
all. The next day we rode to Woodbury, with a prospect of obtaining
a religious opportunity with the people; but way not opening for it,
we proceeded the day after to New Milford, and the next day being the
first of the week, we had a comfortable edifying meeting with Friends,
and a large collection of their neighbours with them.
After this, we rode that afternoon to Oblong, and the next day attended
the monthly meeting there. In the meeting for worship, the Lord’s power
was eminently exalted, and truth was raised into dominion; the season
was deeply instructive and edifying. The day after we had an appointed
meeting in the town of Patterson, where no Friend resides. It was held
in a school-house, and proved, through divine favour, an instructive
baptizing season. From thence we proceeded to the Valley, and the
following day had a precious strengthening opportunity with Friends and
others, in Friends’ meeting-house there.
We then rode to North Salem, and the next day being their meeting day
in the middle of the week, we attended it: and notice being given
that we were there, it was considerably enlarged by a number of the
neighbouring inhabitants coming in. The forepart of the meeting was
exercising: my mind, in silent waiting, was dipped into a deep sense
of poverty and darkness, and as I sat patiently under the impression,
I was led gradually into a view of the cause, which appeared to be
too much creaturely activity and a froward will. As light began to
arise and expel the darkness, there was brought to remembrance these
expressions of Solomon: “Keep thy foot when thou goest to the house of
God, and be more ready to hear, than to give the sacrifice of fools:
for they consider not that they do evil:” and also, “But the talk of
the lips tendeth only to penury.” These were opened in a way that led
to communication, in which I had to show the very hurtful tendency of
creaturely activity in matters of religion and religious worship, and
the absolute necessity of a complete redemption from self, and all self
motives, in the great work of our salvation. As I proceeded, the life
rose, and truth prevailed and spread over the meeting in an eminent
manner. After this favoured meeting, I found there was sufficient cause
for my exercise; and I was glad that I was altogether ignorant of it
from any outward information.
The next day we had an appointed meeting at Amawalk. It was favoured
with the Lord’s presence and power; and many hearts were contrited and
made thankful, under a sense of his continued mercy.
We proceeded from thence to Peekskill, where, by previous appointment,
we had a meeting the following day, which was crowned with the Lord’s
blessing. Surely the Lord is good and gracious, and his mercy endureth
for ever; for did he deal with us according to our deserts, surely
we might ere now all have been consumed: for as I passed along from
place to place, I discovered great unfaithfulness, and want of right
submission to the divine will, with many Friends as well as others;
under a feeling sense whereof, I was often led in a line of close
searching doctrine, by which the hidden things of Esau, or the works
of the first birth or fallen nature were brought to light and exposed,
in a way that showed it was the Lord’s doing: and my heart, with
the hearts of the faithful few were made glad in his power, and his
everlasting loving kindness to the children of men.
The next day being the first of the week, we attended Croton meeting.
The number of Friends there is small, but the meeting was large for
that place, for many of other societies came in. The doctrines of the
gospel were freely and largely preached among them, to the instruction
and edification, I believe, of most present, and to the peace and
comfort of my own mind.
Our next meeting was at Shapaqua, which was large, and a favoured
season. The two following days we had meetings at Croton Valley and
North Castle, in both of which I was helped to clear myself among the
people in a line of plain doctrine. The next day and the fifth of
the week, we had an appointed meeting at Purchase, which was a large
satisfactory meeting. The two following days we attended meetings at
Mamaroneck and Westchester; in both of which, the Lord’s power was
manifested for our help, and the gospel preached in the demonstration
thereof, and its divine influence tendered and contrited many hearts;
especially in the latter, which being the last meeting I had in this
journey, it proved a crowning season, in which truth was raised into
victory over all, and the Lord’s name praised and magnified for his
goodness and marvellous loving kindness to the children of men. After
this solemn meeting I felt myself at liberty to return home, where I
arrived safe that evening, and found most of my family in usual health.
I was from home nearly three months in this journey, travelled upwards
of one thousand miles, and attended fifty-nine particular, three
monthly, and two quarterly meetings.
First day, the 31st of 3d month, 1816. Having returned from my
aforesaid journey last evening, sat with Friends in our own meeting
to-day. I felt things to be very low in a religious sense, and my mind
clothed with much poverty, which appeared to me in the openings of
truth, to be occasioned by Friends suffering their minds to be too much
overwhelmed with the surfeiting cares of this life, which I was led to
open to them in a plain though tender manner. It had a reaching effect
on the meeting, and contrited many hearts; may it fasten as a nail in a
sure place, is the fervent desire of my mind.
Fifth day. Since first day I have been somewhat circumstanced as
Mordecai formerly at the king’s gate, waiting and watching in much
poverty of spirit, against intervening temptations, while making some
necessary arrangements respecting my temporal affairs; being desirous
that they may all be so conducted, under the ordering and limitation of
truth, as to accord with the will of my heavenly Father, and thereby
bring glory to his excellent name. Sat our meeting to-day in silence.
Sixth and seventh days. Nothing transpired requiring particular notice.
First day. I was led in our meeting to-day, under a sense of the great
want among mankind in general of a right concern to become acquainted
with their Creator, to set forth the great loss and suffering which
must necessarily result to them from this state of ignorance, and want
of the true knowledge of God, and of his will concerning them.
Seventh day, the 13th of 4th month. This week has passed since first
day, without feeling sufficient to warrant making a short note; but
being at present musing on the past time, and feeling no condemnation,
although I had passed the present week mostly in caring for my temporal
concerns; yet not so much, I trust, from the love I have for the world
or the things of it, but more especially from a sense of duty, that
I may honestly provide for the outward welfare of myself and family,
and have, through the blessing of a kind and benevolent Providence on
my frugal industry, a sufficiency when called from my home and from
every temporal enjoyment there, for the gospel’s sake, to keep the
gospel free from charge, and that I abuse not my power in the gospel.
For this care, I often fear is too much wanting by some who go out on
that solemn embassy; which, if not guarded against, may not only tend
to frustrate the end of their labours, but prove a stone of stumbling
to many seeking minds. For how inconsistent it must appear in those
who profess to have taken up their cross to self and the world, to
follow their self-denying Saviour in the plain path of duty, to be
anxious about what they shall eat or drink, or what they shall wear;
or manifest a desire after praise or applause from their Friends or
others, or have their hands and hearts open to receive the gratuities
of the rich. For all these may be considered when sought after, as
bribes to the receivers, and it places such under the appellation of
hirelings; for although there may not have been any previous contract,
yet, receiving benefits in that way, I conceive, will bring the
receiver under obligations to the giver, and place the individual in a
situation not fit for a free minister of the gospel.
First day. Sat our meeting to-day mostly in silence, and in suffering
with the seed, that lies oppressed as a cart under sheaves, in the
minds of most of the professors of Christianity; but towards the close
a gleam of light broke forth, in the remembrance of that saying of
Christ, where he tells us, that the kingdom of God is within, and that
it doth not come through outward observation. The subject opened in a
lively manner on my mind, which led to communication, and brought a
solemn weight over the meeting, and we parted under the favour.
The three following days I kept much within, being under very
considerable bodily affliction, although, at intervals, so as to pay
some necessary attention to my family affairs, not being willing to let
any portion of precious time pass away unimproved, as I cannot suppose
that any part of our time is dispensed to us for nought.
Fifth day. This was the time of our monthly meeting, at which the
queries were answered, and accounts prepared to go up to the yearly
meeting. How deep and solemn our deliberations are on such occasions,
not only that our answers may be consistent with truth, without
any false colouring or evasion, but that all may be done under the
influence of that divine power, which humbles and abases the creature,
and which only can qualify for the Lord’s work and service, whether in
ministry or discipline. At this time I returned the minute I had from
the meeting, to perform my late visit to Friends in New England, with a
short account of my journey.
Sixth day. Attended our meeting for Ministers and Elders, at which
nothing unusual occurred.
Seventh day. Quietly spent in my temporal concerns.
First day, the 21st. My mind, in our meeting to-day, was brought
under a deep feeling exercise, in sympathy with backsliders, and such
as, having been often reproved, continue still to revolt. The power
of truth went forth to these in a searching arousing manner: may it
prove effectual to produce in such more stability and faithfulness to
the convictions of divine grace, which, as they become fully obedient
thereunto, will work their salvation; otherwise these may share the
fate described by one formerly: “He that, being often reproved,
hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without
remedy.”
The rest of this week I spent principally in attending our quarterly
meeting, held at this time in New-York. It was for the most part a
favoured season, but would have been more so, had not some in the
ministry quite exceeded the mark by unnecessary communication. For very
great care ought to rest on the minds of ministers, lest they become
burthensome, and take away the life from the meeting, and bring over it
a gloom of death and darkness, that may be sensibly felt.
First day, the 28th. A silent meeting to-day.
Second day. In the afternoon of this day I accompanied a friend to
a meeting he had appointed at Jerusalem. There was a considerable
collection; but the meeting proved trying, not only in the silent part,
but when our friend was communicating, there seemed to be a great
weight of death over the meeting, and the people appeared generally
very dull and lifeless. I was very much borne down under a feeling
sense of it, so that I had not the least prospect that I should have
any thing to communicate, as I felt nothing in myself to offer, nor did
there appear any disposition or fitness in the people to receive; but
just before the close, some time after the Friend had sat down, there
was a small presentation opened on my mind, attended with a degree of
life, which, as I yielded thereto, it spread a comfortable calm over
the meeting generally, insomuch that I thought that the fragments which
were left, after each had had their portion, were more than the whole
stock in the beginning, like the fragments of the loaves and fishes,
when the multitude were fed formerly.
I accompanied the aforesaid Friend on fourth day to Bethpage, but sat
the meeting in silence. He appeared in a pretty long testimony, but it
was rather a dull heavy season, and but little life to be felt, so true
is that saying, that, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in
vain that build it; except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh
but in vain.” He returned with me and attended our meeting the next
day, and had a pretty favoured time in the meeting, and was led to open
divers passages of scripture in a pretty clear manner, which rendered
the season instructive and satisfactory.
Sixth and seventh days. Passed without any thing transpiring worthy of
remark.
First day, the 5th of 5th month. Being invited to attend the funeral
of one of my wife’s cousins, on Cowneck, I accompanied her thereto.
There was a large collection of people; but by their untimely and
irregular gathering, the opportunity was much interrupted; yet, through
the condescending goodness of Israel’s Shepherd, the power of truth
went forth freely to the people, tendering and contriting many hearts,
particularly among the youth: may it fix on their minds as a nail,
driven by the Master of assemblies, in a sure place.
The rest of this week I spent about home, being somewhat unwell; yet
not so much so, but that I attended our preparative meeting on fifth
day.
First day, the 12th. Feeling considerably indisposed, I did not get
out to meeting to-day; yet had to reflect how very seldom I had been
prevented by indisposition for many years past, being generally
preserved in health, a favour worthy of grateful acknowledgments.
Fifth day. Attended our monthly meeting. It was a low dull season,
through the greater part of the first meeting; but just before
the close, a small gleam of light appeared, which, with a short
communication from a female, brought the meeting to a pretty
comfortable conclusion.
Sixth and seventh days. Spent in my family avocations, clothed with
poverty of spirit, yet not altogether cast down, being encouraged at
times with the remembrance of the divine promise succeeding the flood,
that, “While the earth remaineth, seed-time and harvest, and cold and
heat, and summer and winter, and day and night, shall not cease.” As
in my past winter journey, I witnessed summer and harvest, so now I
may rest patiently in the divine promise, with the assurance, that as
winter in due course has succeeded summer, so likewise summer by and
by, in its turn, will succeed winter, and the time of the singing of
birds will come, and the drooping spirit will again rejoice in the
Lord, and joy in the God of its salvation.
Nothing requiring a note the following week, except, that on seventh
day, the 25th of the month, I proceeded to New-York, in order to
attend our approaching yearly meeting, which opened for Ministers and
Elders at the tenth hour this morning; but the morning being rainy,
we did not arrive in season to attend the first sitting. The meeting
continued by adjournments until the following sixth day, and was in
the main, I think, a favoured meeting, the Lord graciously manifesting
himself to be near, suppressing forward spirits, that would now and
then start up to the hurt of the meeting, and uniting the living
baptized members in a joint travail for the promotion of right order,
and the increase of the Messiah’s kingdom in the earth. We returned
home on seventh day.
First day, the 2d of 6th month. Attended our meeting in the morning
in silence; but in the afternoon meeting, appointed by a friend from
Pennsylvania, I had a pretty full opportunity, after the Friend who
appointed the meeting had relieved his mind, to call the people’s
attention to the only sure guide, the light of God’s spirit in their
own hearts and minds, which reveals to every man and woman all things
that they had ever done, as Jesus did to the woman of Samaria,
reproving for the evil, and justifying for the good: and were men and
women all as faithful to themselves, as this divine reprover is to
them, they would all witness the blessing of peace; and if they held
out in faithfulness and obedience to the end, the answer of “well done,
thou good and faithful servant”, would be the happy portion of them all.
Fifth day. Attended our meeting in silence.
First day, the 9th. Had the company of two female Friends from
Philadelphia, who were travelling in the ministry, at our meeting.
It proved a hard trying season: one of them was exercised in public
testimony, and although she appeared to labour fervently, yet but
little life was felt to arise during the meeting. This makes the work
hard for the poor exercised ministers, who feel the necessity publicly
to advocate the cause of truth and righteousness, and yet obtain but
little relief, by reason of the deadness and indifference of those
to whom they are constrained to minister. I found it my place to sit
silent, and suffer with the seed.
Second day. Went to New-York, in order to attend our meeting for
sufferings, which was held the next day at the ninth hour in the
morning. I accordingly attended, and returned home that afternoon.
The rest of the week I spent about home. Attended our preparative
meeting on fifth day. The meeting for worship was held in silence, and
was a hard trying meeting.