Engagements at and about home, 1815.--Visit to the monthly meetings
within the circuit of Nine Partners quarterly meeting, 1815.
First day, the 18th of 6th month, 1815. My mind towards the close of
our meeting, was opened into a view of the excellency and advantage
of having our minds actuated invariably, by a principle of strict and
impartial justice, and of having just ideas and apprehensions of the
divine character. For nothing short of this, is able to establish our
faith in God on its right basis, and to give us an unshaken hope and
trust in his divine sufficiency, and bring us to experience that love
of our benevolent Creator, and of our fellow creatures which casteth
out all fear. As I communicated, the prospect enlarged and brought a
solemn weight over the meeting, and we parted under a sense of the
favour.
The rest of the week was spent in close attention to my temporal
concerns, except attending our fifth day meeting.
First day, the 25th. Sat our meeting to-day in solemn silence, being
much depressed in mind on account of the improper conduct of some of my
friends, fellow members in society, by which I apprehended the noble
cause we had espoused was in danger of being hurt, and the unity of the
Church broken, which to me was a cause of real sorrow of heart.
Except attending our fifth day meeting, which I sat in silence, the
rest of this week was occupied in my common avocations, and ended with
a peaceful mind, which is a hidden treasure of more value than the
golden wedge of Ophir.
First day, the 2d of 7th month. As I sat in our meeting, my mind was
early impressed with that important scripture passage of the psalmist:
“Let God arise, let his enemies be scattered.” It led to communication,
in which I was largely opened to set forth the very necessary truths it
comprehended, especially as it regards man’s salvation. For it shows
clearly that man may prevent his thus arising, and thereby hinder his
own salvation: and it also shows, that unless we know him to arise and
become supreme and chief ruler in our hearts, agreeably to his own good
will and pleasure, we cannot be saved nor come to know his enemies
to be scattered. Therefore it becomes us as poor helpless creatures,
patiently to wait, and quietly to hope for his arising, with penitent
hearts and willing minds, ready to receive him in the way of his
coming; although it may be “as a refiner with fire, or as a fuller with
soap.” It is also necessary for us to know this arising to be within
us and not without us; and to be with power, binding the man of sin
and son of perdition, which is self, or the strong man armed; whose
goods, while he rules, are at peace: but when we permit a stronger than
he, who only is God, to come in or arise with power, “he will bind
the strong man armed, and cast him out; and then he will spoil his
goods,” that is, cleanse the heart from all the old rubbish of sin and
uncleanness, and purify his temple and make it a fit receptacle for his
holiness to dwell in. It was a season of favour. Many gospel truths
were clearly opened to the auditory who gave solid attention; may they
fix as a nail in a sure place.
I was under considerable bodily indisposition most of this week. On
fifth day, so much so, as almost to give up the prospect of getting
to meeting; but I put on my usual resolution and went, and was glad
in so doing, as there I met with that peace of God that passeth all
understanding, which is only known by being felt. I had to declare to
my friends how good it is to trust in the Lord with all the heart, and
lean not to our own understandings, lest they fail us.
On sixth day I attended the funeral of a kinsman, a neighbour, who had
spent much of his life in a careless irreligious manner, very seldom
attending any religious meetings, and was very ignorant as it respected
the things of God and his own salvation; but for a year or more before
his death, he was greatly afflicted with bodily indisposition, from
which he suffered long and very deeply. It brought him to a solemn
consideration respecting his latter end, and I had a hope it worked
for his good, as he manifested a state of resignation; so that he
bore his affliction with much patience and quietude of mind. My heart
and my mouth were opened on the occasion, to warn the people, and to
call their attention to the necessity of an early preparation for
death; showing them that it bordered even on presumption, for such
poor impotent helpless creatures as we are, whose time is dealt to us
by moments, even to dare to close our eyes to sleep, without first
being well assured that our peace was made with our great and gracious
Creator. Many minds were considerably humbled, and I hope the labour
will not be lost, but be as bread cast upon the waters, that some may
gather after many days.
First day, the 9th. We had a comfortable favoured meeting to-day. My
mind was set at liberty to preach the gospel in the clear demonstration
of the spirit; and to show unto the people that the reason why they
were not healed of their many infirmities, was not because there was
not “balm in Gilead,” and “a Physician there;” but because they were
not willing to seek him in the right way, and receive him in the way
of his coming, which is inwardly, as a refiner with fire, or a fuller
with soap; to purify from all the old leaven of self, and to cleanse
the heart from all self-righteousness, and self-sufficiency; that a
thorough crucifixion of the old man, with all his unrighteous deeds
may be witnessed; and the creature set at liberty to serve the Lord
in newness of life. The meeting closed with solemn supplication and
thanksgiving to the Lord for his continued mercy.
Second, third, and fourth days. Spent in my family affairs, mostly
attended with sweet peace of mind; although accompanied with much
bodily pain, which is more or less my common lot. But what a great
portion of severe bodily pain may be endured without a murmuring
thought, while accompanied with true peace of mind, and a conscience
void of offence toward God and man: a rich consoling treasure.
Fifth day. This being the time of our preparative meeting, at which
our queries were answered, I had to admonish Friends to feel deeply
after their own states. For as it is by individuals that meetings are
composed, so every individual ought to know how far his particular
state corresponds with what is queried after; that so by a united
labour, and an inward investigation of our own particular states, we
may be enabled to form true and righteous answers to the superiour
meetings. For if they are false, it will be accounted lying and that
not unto men, but unto God; and thereby our queries be rendered very
hurtful to us, instead of being helpful.
Sixth and seventh days. I occupied myself in my usual business, not
feeling any particular religious draft; except the necessity of keeping
up the daily watch, that no intruding thoughts lead into temptation, or
prevent my daily converse with the God of my salvation; whose presiding
fear, I have long experienced to be the only sure antidote against all
evil.
First day, the 16th. My mind was led forth in our meeting to-day
in a large clear testimony, clothed with gospel authority, which
was introduced with the following apostolic exhortation: “Let love
be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that
which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly
love; in honour preferring one another.” I was led to show that this
undissembling love was not to be known by man in his fallen nature; but
only by the regenerated soul, the new man in Christ, who had come to
know, in degree, a partaking of the divine nature, as no other nature
is congenial with this love; a love, which the beloved apostle tells
us, casteth out all fear. It was a season of favour, thankfully to be
remembered.
The remaining part of this week was principally employed in helping to
gather in our harvest, except attending our monthly meeting on fifth
day, and preparative meeting of Ministers and Elders on sixth day:
both of which were rather dull, poor meetings. Alas! how the cares and
cumbers of this world, like thorns and briars, choke the good seed and
prevent its bringing forth fruit. Be watchful, O my soul! that so thou
mayest know thy seed time and harvest not to fail.
First day, the 23d. My present allotment is a state of depression and
poverty of spirit: but considering myself deserving thereof, I do not
complain. In this condition I accompanied my family to meeting as the
best thing I could do, not feeling the least qualification to be in any
degree useful to myself or to others; except in a voluntary surrender
of myself to be any thing or nothing, as He, who has a right to dispose
of his own workmanship at his own pleasure, should see meet. But I had
not sat long in this submissive state, before a prospect presented to
my mind, that opened to a field of labour, in which I had to espouse
the Master’s cause, and demonstrate to the people present the just and
indubitable right he had to them and all their labours, without the
promise of any reward: and that our true and real felicity, in time
and in a future state, solely depended on this complete and willing
surrender of ourselves and all we have, to his holy and gracious will;
as nothing short thereof can produce our real sanctification and
adoption.
Second and third days. Nothing occurred worthy of particular notice.
Fourth day. Was our quarterly meeting of Ministers and Elders, held
at Westbury. I attended under great depression and poverty of spirit,
which sealed my lips, as to any communication, the greater part of
the meeting. I sat resigned to my lot, and heard my friends, or some
of them, express their exercise, which was principally directed to
Ministers and Elders, especially in regard to an honest, careful
exercise of their gifts as such; and also alluding to the dulness and
want of life that too generally attended those meetings. I felt very
little effect wrought in the meeting from their labour, and could
take no part in it; but as I sat patiently waiting, and endeavoured
quietly to endure the cloud that was spread as a veil over the
meeting; it clearly opened on my mind, that it was not brought over
us in consequence of a deficiency in ministers, as it respects their
ministerial gifts, nor from a want of care in elders in watching over
them; but from a much more deep and melancholy cause, viz: the love and
cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches; which, springing
up and gaining the ascendency in the mind, choke the good seed like the
briars and thorns, and render it fruitless; and produce such great
dearth and barrenness in our meetings. As the matter spread with a
degree of animation on my mind, I found it my place, near the close of
the meeting, to open the prospect and sound an alarm to Friends, which
appeared to have a quickening effect on many minds, and enabled us at
parting, to renew our trust in the Almighty arm of divine sufficiency,
and still to believe that the Lord had not altogether forsaken his
people, but was mindful of the seeking remnant of his heritage, and
continued his gracious calls to his backsliding children.
Fifth day. Was the meeting for discipline. It was likewise rather an
exercising season, but I hope attended with some profit.
Sixth day. Was the parting meeting held for public worship. It was
a large crowded meeting, but was somewhat hurt in the forepart, by
the appearance of one young in the ministry standing too long, and
manifesting too much animation: yet, I believed, he was under the
preparing hand, fitting for service in the Church, if he only keeps
low and humble, and does not aspire above his gift, into the animation
of the creature. For there is great danger, if such are not deeply
watchful, of the transformer getting in and raising the mind into too
much creaturely zeal, and warmth of the animal spirit, whereby they may
be deceived, and attribute that to the divine power, which only arises
from a heated imagination, and the natural warmth of their own spirits;
and so mar the work of the divine spirit on their minds, run before
their gift and lose it, or have it taken away from them. They thereby
fall into the condition of some formerly, as mentioned by the prophet,
who, in their creaturely zeal, kindle a fire of their own, and walk in
the light thereof; but these, in the end, have to lie down in sorrow.
Towards the close of the meeting, as Friends kept quiet and solid, way
opened for further communication, which brought a comfortable solemnity
over the meeting; and we parted from each other with gladdened hearts,
under a grateful sense of the Lord’s mercy to his unworthy creatures.
Seventh day. I turned my hand again to my usual industry in my family
affairs, with a peaceful mind.
First day, the 30th. Devoted this day, as usual, to the attendance of
our own meeting, in which I had not sat long, silently musing, before
my mind was opened into a view of the divine attributes, especially
that of God’s unchangeableness, and with which I had to contrast the
changeable and unstable state of man. I was led, in the view thereof,
to show to the people, that all our infelicity arose out of our
unsettled state, and for want of being established, or fixed on some
steadfast and invariable principle; and as there is no other but God,
consequently all our true felicity and salvation depends on our being
entirely settled and fixed in and upon him, by which we are brought to
witness an unchangeable state, having the feet of the mind established
on the immoveable rock, _Christ, the light of the world_, and the
real spiritual life of all true believers. For nothing short of this
experience ought to satisfy, or give rest to any seeking, panting soul
after God its redeemer.
The rest of this week I attended to my family avocations with,
generally, peace of mind, attending our fifth day meeting, as it came
in course; nothing unusual occurring, but having daily and continual
cause of thankfulness to the bountiful Author of every blessing, both
temporal and spiritual.
First day, the 6th of 8th month. My lot was to suffer the greater
part of our meeting to-day, until near the close, when I found it my
place to unite in a short testimony with a female fellow labourer, in
calling the attention of the people to an inward exercise and faithful
improvement of the gift or talent committed to them, while time and
opportunity are afforded, that so when called, they might be prepared
to render up their accounts with joy.
Spent the remainder of this week as usual, at and about home, feeling
no call abroad to any religious service; but felt it my incumbent duty
simply to wait, and to watch at the King’s gate.
First day, the 13th. Towards the close of our meeting, my mind was
led to view the great and singular advantages which would result to
mankind, by a full surrender of their wills to the divine will, not
only in religious concerns, but also in things of a temporal nature,
and indeed in every thing they do. The subject became very impressive,
insomuch that I found it my place to spread it before the auditory; and
to set forth the inconsistency of people, in first acknowledging the
entire supremacy of the divine Being, and their own dependant state,
as tenants at will of the sovereign Lord of the universe; and at the
same time presumptuously exercising an independent will and judgment
in their temporal, and, mostly so, even in their religious concerns.
Therefore, without breach of charity, we may safely conclude, that
the generality, even of professed Christians, serve and worship the
creature, more than they do the Creator. To this we may refer the
source of all the misery and wretchedness of man; and that to rise out
of his fallen state, he must come to know a complete sinking down into
a state of nothingness of self, and a full surrender of his will to the
divine will, and not to move in any thing without being conscientiously
satisfied it is in correspondence therewith; then should we move on
safely, and peace of mind would be our daily attendant.
In the course of this week I was indisposed, being afflicted with
much bodily pain; but was enabled to attend our monthly meeting on
fifth day, at which we received extracts from our yearly and quarterly
meetings, with the printed epistle from London. They furnished suitable
advice on several subjects, particularly relative to a right attendance
of our religious meetings. I was impressed also with a similar concern,
to call the careful attention of Friends thereto, as that upon which
our religious advancement greatly depends.
First day, the 20th. Feeling a draft on my mind to sit with Friends
of Bethpage, I yielded thereto. I sat the meeting mostly in silence,
it being rather a dull, low time, and but little life discoverable
in the meeting; yet near the close, I felt a small motion leading
to communication, and as I gave way thereto, a small stream of life
arose, and ran through the meeting, and we parted under a sense of its
comforting influence, with thankful hearts.
First day, the 27th. My mind was solemnly exercised during the greater
part of our meeting, and deeply impressed with the spirit of prayer and
supplication. Oh, how awful is the prospect of approaching the Majesty
of heaven in solemn prayer! How it reduces the creature, and shows him
his entire unworthiness and helpless state. Well might the prophet
thus exclaim: “When I heard, my belly trembled; my lips quivered at
the voice; rottenness entered into my bones, and I trembled in myself,
that I might rest in the day of trouble.” As I sat under the humbling
prospect, I was strengthened, towards the close of the meeting, with
a bowed down mind and bended knees, to address my humble petition, on
behalf of myself and my friends, to the throne of grace, expressive of
the desire of my soul, that we might be kept, both old and young, at
all times, under an humbling sense of the divine fear, as that on which
all our safety and preservation depends.
Second and third days. I spent with a family of my friends some
distance from home, my wife accompanying me. I had been for some time
under considerable exercise and concern on account of some uneasiness
and disunity which subsisted among them, greatly to their hurt. I
entered fully into the subject, and was favoured, through patient
perseverance, to bring matters to a peaceful close, for which I was
thankful, as the harmony of the family had been for several years very
much interrupted.
Fourth day. We returned home.
Fifth day. Attended our meeting held this day, in which I was silent.
Sixth day. I spent principally in assisting a friend, who was somewhat
straitened in getting along with his husbandry concerns; he having been
indisposed.
Seventh day. Attended the funeral of a very ancient woman Friend,
an elder in society. She lived to the age of ninety-seven years,
an example of prudence and plainness; of an innocent life and
conversation, and generally beloved by her acquaintance. A large
collection of Friends and others attended it. I was led to set forth
the great advantages the true believer has over the unbeliever; and to
show to the people the great necessity of care that we did not place
any confidence in a mere traditional or historical belief, without
coming to a real experimental knowledge of God and Christ. It was a
solemn time; many hearts were tendered with the savour of truth, that
spread over the meeting.
First day, the 3d of 9th month. Feeling a small draft of love and
concern to sit with Friends of Westbury meeting to-day, I yielded
thereto. It proved rather a low dull season, very little life felt to
be stirring in the meeting; but a little before the close, I felt my
mind quickened with the remembrance of the occurrence which took place
with Jesus and his disciples a short time previous to his being taken
prisoner, and carried before Pilate; but, in a particular manner,
my mind was impressed with the proceedings of Judas the traitor. It
opened on my mind that he was a true figure of self in man, which is
the son of perdition, and man of sin. I was led, in the opening, to
warn Friends to beware of him, each one in themselves, for otherwise
he would deceive, and betray them, as Judas did his Master; and who
will as certainly destroy the precious life in us, as he brought Christ
to his crucifixion; his delight is to scatter and expose to trial and
temptation. It spread with weight over the meeting, and many minds were
solemnly affected. Surely the Lord’s mercy is still great towards his
backsliding people, as he continues striving to gather and preserve
them from all evil.
The rest of the week I spent as usual, nothing particular occurring.
First day, the 10th. This day I was pretty closely engaged. Attended
our own meeting in the morning, and an appointed meeting at Jerusalem
in the afternoon. Both were meetings of favour, and comforting seasons
to the upright in heart.
Second day. Visited a sick brother. Found him very ill, his case being
such as to render his recovery very doubtful. It caused much distress
in the family. Oh! how wise it is for such dependant creatures as we
are, and whose stay here is so uncertain, to be always in a state of
readiness to meet every event. What consolation it affords in such
trying seasons, when we can come to say, Lord, thy servant is ready.
I returned home on third day evening. Fourth and fifth days employed as
usual. On sixth day paid him another visit, and found him much better,
and the family cheerful. Oh, how unstable a creature is man! full and
empty, joyful and sorrowful, as things go well or ill. All this is for
want of having the mind centered in and on God, its alone proper object
and sure balance.
I tarried until first day, and had an appointed meeting in the
neighbourhood; and although not so large as I have sometimes had in
that place, yet it was in the main an open favoured season, exciting
thankfulness to the blessed Author of all our mercies. I returned home
that evening, leaving my brother in a favourable way of recovery, with
a hope that the visitation will be profitable to him and his family, if
they rightly improve it.
The rest of the week I spent at and about home. Attended our monthly
meeting on fifth day, and the funeral of a female relative on sixth
day, who was taken off very suddenly with an apoplectic fit. Such
instances speak a language to survivors very urgent and expressive: “Be
ye therefore ready also.”
First day, the 24th. After a considerable time of silent waiting in
our meeting, my mind was quickened in the remembrance of the following
declaration of the apostle Paul: “For by grace are ye saved, through
faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works,
lest any man should boast.” The subject opened to communication,
wherein I had to unfold to the people the utter incapacity of man, in
his fallen or natural state, doing any thing that would, in the least
degree, further his salvation, or be acceptable to God, as a part of
his necessary duty or service to him. For it would be very unwise and
dangerous to presume or attempt any such thing: unwise, because it
is impossible for him to effect it, and dangerous, lest he should do
something that might warm or stir up his own passions, or those of
others, in such manner as to apprehend that a degree of the divine
power attended. For this would tend to lead to a very fatal errour,
a continuance in the presumption; which can produce no other, than
darkness and death to the soul. In this state he could not possibly
avoid boasting, and thereby counteract the apostle’s doctrine; and
indeed it would be justifiable to boast, if we could do the least
thing of ourselves, without the immediate aid of divine grace. For
strict justice cannot deny the ascription of merit to any cause that
produces a real good work; but as no mere man can possibly ever be
such a cause, so he can never merit any good from his own works, and
therefore he never can have a right to boast. All this the truly humble
are abundantly sensible of, and therefore dare not attempt any thing
in a religious way, in their own time and will, but wait patiently for
the immediate inspiring of divine grace, to whose power only, as the
procuring cause of our salvation, all merit is due.
The rest of the week I spent in my usual avocations, not omitting my
religious duties as they opened on my mind.
First day, the 1st of 10th month. My mind, while sitting in our meeting
to-day, was led into the consideration of the real necessity there
was for each individual to know God, before he could worship him
acceptably, in spirit and in truth. For if we are ignorant of him,
our worship would be no better than the worship of the Athenians to
an unknown God. The subject enlarged and opened to the communication
of divers gospel truths, and gave cause gratefully to acknowledge the
mercy and goodness of our heavenly Father to his backsliding children.
The six following days I was occupied at and about home, with a
grieved mind most of the time, on account of the conduct of some of my
neighbours, particularly one of my tenants, and one other, who spent
the week principally attending horse races; a most pernicious practice,
leading to more evil than almost any other wicked custom that the loose
and the vain are so foolishly addicted to; for it is not only spending
our precious time in a vain and wanton manner, but likewise manifests
great ingratitude to the Author of all our blessings, if not a total
disbelief in him: for how can it be supposed that a rational mind,
that has a real belief in God, could have hardiness enough to drive a
horse in a race, to gratify a number of idle and vain spectators; and
if for a bribe or a wager, it adds greatly to the sin, as it is then
accompanied with covetousness and dishonesty. When we consider that
the horse is one of the great temporal blessings conferred on man, by
a gracious and beneficent providence, to abuse him without cause, by
driving him in a race, is both cruel and wicked; for his life, and the
life of his rider are both at stake, as it sometimes happens that both
are killed. And not one single real good ever has arisen, or ever can
be looked for, from it: for the truth of which, I dare appeal to any
rational man who was ever in the practice, that it has never produced
one hour of real peace to the mind.
First day, the 8th. As I sat in our meeting, the declaration of Paul,
introductory to his epistle to the Hebrews, presented to my mind, and
opened to a very interesting communication, showing that “God, who at
sundry times and in divers manners, spake in time past unto the fathers
[in Israel] by the prophets, hath in these last days spoken unto us by
his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things.” This renders it
necessary for every true follower of him, to hear him in all things, as
now, under the gospel dispensation, we have no other sufficient teacher
but the Lord Jesus Christ, by his spirit in our hearts; therefore, they
who do not hear and obey him, cannot be saved, but, agreeably to the
testimony of Moses, “the wrath of God abideth on them.”
Second and third days. Were taken up in attending our meeting for
sufferings. The rest of the week I was occupied in my temporal
concerns, except attending our preparative meeting on fifth day.
First day, the 15th. Although in going to meeting to-day my mind was
under the impression of poverty and spiritual want, yet I had not sat
long, ere light sprang up, and opened to the communication of divers
weighty gospel truths. In the unfolding of these, I was led to open
to the people, that every birth was clothed in its own proper nature,
and which must be congenial to the spring or source from whence the
birth derived its existence. Hence, agreeably to the apostle Paul’s
declaration, “The first man is of the earth, earthy; the second man is
the Lord from heaven; and as we have borne the image of the earthy, we
shall also bear the image of the heavenly.” Therefore, as the earthy
or animal part in man, must draw all its succour and support from
the earth, and cannot be comforted nor subsist without earthly food;
so neither can the spiritual part, or the immortal soul of man, be
comforted or subsist in its true life, without spiritual food.
This, and much more, I was led to open in the light of truth, at this
solemn time; for the Lord’s power spread over the meeting in a very
weighty and sensible manner, and we parted under the precious covering.
Oh that our hearts might be continually warmed with gratitude for such
unmerited mercy!
Fifth day. Since first day, I have been busily employed in putting
my family affairs in order, so as to leave home in company with a
committee appointed by the yearly meeting, to visit the quarterly
meeting of Nine Partners, with the monthly meetings constituting it,
this being the time to set out. I also attended the funeral of a
deceased neighbour, on fourth day, where I had a favourable opportunity
of expostulating with a large assembly, on the fallen, weak, and
helpless state of man, and the necessity of his witnessing, through the
aid of divine grace or spirit of his Creator, a redemption therefrom,
as the only means whereby he can be saved, and be again renewed into
his divine image and become a partaker of his real nature, as no other
nature can be happy in the enjoyment of him.
I accordingly left home on sixth day, the 20th of 10th month. My wife
and daughter Elizabeth set out with me, with a view of bearing me
company in part of the visit. We rode through New-York to Westchester,
and lodged with our kind friends Thomas and Elizabeth Underhill, in
our way to West Hartford, in Connecticut, that being the first monthly
meeting we were to attend, in the arrangement made by the committee. On
seventh day we continued our journey to Middlesex, and lodged with our
friends Samuel and Phebe Bishop. On first day attended Friends’ meeting
there; and some notice being given to the neighbouring inhabitants,
of our intention of attending it, the meeting was large, and through
the condescending goodness of the Shepherd of Israel, it proved a
comfortable edifying season. The doctrines of the gospel were freely
and largely communicated, and the truth raised into dominion above all,
to the glory of him who is over all, God blessed for ever. On second
day we proceeded on our journey, going by way of Bridgeport, in order
to visit a female Friend of our acquaintance who lived in that town,
far separated from her friends and relatives; and whose husband being a
seafaring man, was from home on a voyage. She was comforted, and glad
of the visit, although short. After dining with her, and staying as
long as our time would admit, we proceeded that afternoon to Woodbury,
and lodged with Elijah Sherman, a person of the Methodist persuasion,
and an old acquaintance, where we were hospitably entertained. The
next day we rode to West Hartford, and put up with our kind Friend
Ruth Gilbert, widow of Charles Gilbert. Fourth day, being the day
their usual meeting was held, we attended it; and although small, was
nevertheless a precious favoured season. The states of those present
were spoken to in the fresh flowings of gospel love, tendering and
contriting the hearts of most present. Surely it was the Lord’s doing,
and worthy of deep thankfulness to him, as the alone author of every
blessing.
Fifth day. Was their monthly meeting, held at this time out of its
usual course to accommodate the yearly meeting’s committee. It proved
a satisfactory season. The few Friends constituting it, appeared to
conduct the business which came before them, in a good degree of
propriety and harmony.
On sixth day we took leave of our friends there, and rode to Oblong;
a long journey of about fifty-five miles, and the way rough and
hilly. We lodged with our friend Azariah Howland, and the next day
attended Oblong monthly meeting, which proved, through heavenly help,
particularly the part for worship, a comfortable edifying meeting.
Near the close, feeling a draft on my mind to be there the next day at
their first day meeting, I informed Friends thereof before we parted;
and notice being given to the neighbouring people of my intention,
the meeting was large; and through the unmerited condescension of our
gracious Helper, ability was given to preach the gospel in the clear
demonstration of the spirit, and with power. The spirits of most
present were humbled and contrited, and the truth raised into dominion,
to the praise of Him, who calleth us to glory and virtue.
After this favoured meeting, we parted with our friends, under a lively
sense of the Lord’s goodness, and rode that evening to Nine Partners
and took quarters with our kind relations Isaac and Anne Thorne.
The two following days we attended the monthly meetings of Nine
Partners and Oswego, which were, in the main, solemn edifying seasons.
On fourth day we rode to Cornwall, leaving my wife and daughter with
our relations at Nine Partners. The three following days, attended
the monthly meetings of Cornwall, Marlborough, and Rosendale Plains.
With grateful hearts, we had abundant cause to acknowledge the
goodness, and never-failing loving kindness of our heavenly Father, in
condescending to be with us from day to day, making bare his arm for
our help and furnishing with ability for the work we were engaged in,
both in meetings for worship, and those for the right ordering of the
affairs of the Church. The several opportunities were crowned with His
gracious presence, solemnizing and tendering the hearts of the people,
and comforting and gladdening the sincere in heart, who prefer the
prosperity of Zion to their chiefest joy.
First day. We attended Marlborough meeting; and some notice having been
given to those of other societies, of our intention of being there, the
meeting was large, and the house much crowded. Through divine favour
extended to us, it proved an awakening precious season; the testimony
to the power of truth went forth and reigned victoriously over all. We
tarried here until the next day, and then returned to Nine Partners,
in order to attend the quarterly meeting, which opened the next day
with a meeting for Ministers and Elders. Here I again met my wife and
daughter. The quarterly meeting closed on fourth day afternoon, and
was in the main an instructive favoured season, although considerably
interrupted by the imprudence of a Friend, in his unwarrantable
opposition to a concern, which was opened to draw Friends off from the
too free and unnecessary use of articles, which were the produce of
the labour of the poor enslaved black people; and which was wrung from
them, while in a state of cruel bondage, by their hard-hearted task
masters. For the sufferings of those oppressed people, my mind was
deeply exercised.
Fifth day. Rode to Stanford, and attended the quarterly meeting of
Ministers and Elders, which through condescending goodness proved
a comfortable edifying opportunity, as was that for discipline.
The following day the quarterly meeting closed, with a meeting for
worship on seventh day. It was a season thankfully to be remembered
by every sensible mind present; for he that opens and none can shut,
and shuts and none can open, was graciously near, and condescended to
open many deep doctrines of the gospel, in a full and clear manner,
in the demonstration of the spirit, attended with power; humbling and
solemnizing the minds of most present, and exalting the truth, which
was raised into dominion, and ran sweetly over all.
We returned that evening to Nine Partners, intending to sit with
Friends there the next day; and some public notice being given that
we were there, the meeting was large. Although it proved rather an
exercising season, and the labour hard, yet, I trust, it was a season
of profit and instruction to many.
After this meeting, feeling myself released from any further service,
the committee having fulfilled their appointment, and my wife feeling
anxious to return home, we took leave of our friends on second day
afternoon and rode to our friend Enoch Dorland’s at Beekman. The next
day we rode to Croton, and lodged with our friend James Jordan. On
fourth day we proceeded on our journey to Manhattanville, and lodged
with our friend Joseph Byrd; and the following day, attended the
little meeting of our friends at that place. After this we rode down
to New-York, and took up our quarters at the house of our friend and
kinsman Whitehead Hicks. We tarried in town until seventh day morning,
and then took leave of our friends and rode home, where we arrived just
before evening.
We were from home about four weeks, in which time I travelled four
hundred and eighty-four miles, and attended two quarterly meetings
which held five days; seven monthly meetings, and five particular
meetings. We had especial cause of gratitude and thankfulness of heart,
to the great and beneficent Author of every blessing, in that our
journey was prosperous, and ourselves preserved in a comfortable degree
of bodily health during the time, although a season of very general
indisposition with those among whom we travelled.
First day, the 19th of 11th month. I sat with our friends again in our
own meeting, and found it my place to set them an example of silence,
feeling my situation like Mordecai’s when sitting at the king’s gate:
a state as grateful to an humble mind as riding the king’s horse, and
more safe, as there is less danger of falling.
Fifth day. Another silent meeting.
Seventh day. Attended the funeral of a deceased neighbour. My mind
was largely opened, to set forth to a large auditory assembled on
this solemn occasion, the great and blessed effects of a firm belief
and faith in the living God; as it has proved an antidote to all evil
in every age of the world, and to every individual who has had this
true and living faith. For it is that by which the just live, and
this the apostle saith, is our victory, even our faith; and without
it, it is impossible to please God. The Lord’s power accompanied
the communication, and many hearts were broken and contrited by its
heavenly influence; may it not pass away as the morning dew, but fasten
as a nail in a sure place, driven by the Master of our assemblies, is
the fervent desire and prayer of my mind.
First day, the 26th. I passed our meeting to-day mostly in silence,
except just before the close, I found it my place to remind the meeting
of the complaint of the apostle Paul in his epistle to his beloved
Timothy, concerning some in that day, who were ever learning, and
never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. The occasion of this
was, as it opened on my mind, their neglect of practical duty, and
unfaithfulness in what they styled little things; and thereby rendered
themselves unfit and unworthy of being made rulers over more; and yet
were continually seeking after knowledge in greater things, through
the medium of the outward ear, and creaturely comprehension; loving
to hear the truth declared and doctrines communicated, but unwilling
and neglectful of putting them in practice; and therefore made no
advancement in true learning. I had to warn my friends to be careful
not to render themselves liable to the same reprehension, and found
sweet peace in this small portion of duty.
The rest of the week I spent about home, being somewhat indisposed. Sat
our fifth day meeting in silence, quietly waiting, as at the king’s
gate, for renewed instruction.
First day, the 3d of 12th month. My mind has been much shut up since
I returned home. Sat our meeting again to-day in silence; but felt
a daily exercise and concern relative to a religious visit in New
England, which has for months past, been ripening on my mind; but have
a prospect of some services about home, ere I engage therein. Lay low,
oh my soul! that thou mayest be rightly and wisely directed therein;
for thou well knowest the greatness, and vast importance of the work
thou art called to; and that of thyself, thou art utterly destitute of
any right ability to perform it to thy own good, or to the glory and
honour of thy chiefest good, who is the Lord alone, thy gracious and
all-sufficient helper.
Second and third days. Attended to some necessary concerns about home,
preparatory to the approaching winter. On fourth day afternoon rode
to Flushing, in order to attend the monthly meeting the following
day, with a further prospect of having two other meetings on sixth
and seventh days, one at Newtown, and the other at the Kilns, in my
way to New-York, where I felt drawings on my mind to be on first day.
Accordingly after attending the monthly meeting, having the company
of my kind kinsman Isaac Hicks from Westbury, with the assistance of
some Friends of Flushing, we procured the appointment of a meeting the
next evening at Newtown at the sixth hour, principally for those not in
membership with us. As there were no Friends residing in the village,
the meeting was held in a large upper room at an inn, which was nearly
filled with sober and orderly behaved people. Through heavenly help, it
proved a comfortable edifying season; the doctrines of the gospel were
freely and largely opened, apparently to the general satisfaction of
those present, and many hearts were humbled and contrited.
The next day we attended an appointed meeting in Friends’
meeting-house at the Kilns. Although not large, yet it proved a
precious tendering opportunity to most present, worthy to be remembered
with thankfulness and gratitude to the blessed Author of all our
multiplied favours and blessings. After this we dined with our kind
friend Jane Betts, and then proceeded to the city.
First day. We attended Pearl-street meeting in the morning, and that at
Liberty-street in the afternoon. In the former, the testimony of truth
went forth with power, and its dignity and excellency were exalted over
all opposition, to the praise of Him who is calling and leading all
his devoted and obedient children out of darkness into his marvellous
light, wherein they are brought to witness a full remission of their
sins, and an inheritance among all those that are sanctified. The
latter meeting I sat mostly in silence; but towards the close, I was
led forth in a short searching testimony, which brought a solemnity
over the meeting, under which covering the meeting closed.
Second day. I attended a committee of the meeting for sufferings, and
in the afternoon a funeral of one not a member, but whose parents were
inclined to Friends, and frequently attended Friends’ meetings. They
hearing of my being in town, requested my attendance at the funeral;
and being disposed thereto, I attended accordingly, and had an open
time to declare the truth to those present, suited to the occasion, and
many minds were humbled.
Third day. I attended the meeting for sufferings, and on fourth day the
meeting held in the middle of the week at Pearl-street, at which there
was a marriage; which occasioned the meeting to be quite large, and in
which my mind was exercised in an unusual manner. For the subject which
first presented, after my mind had become silenced, was the remembrance
of the manner in which the temporal courts among men are called to
order; and it became so impressive, as to apprehend it right to make
use of it as a simile, much in the way the prophet was led to make use
of some of the Rechabites, to convict Israel of their disobedience and
want of attention to their law and lawgiver. I accordingly was led to
cry audibly three times, “O yes, O yes, O yes; silence all persons,
under the pain and penalty of the displeasure of the court.” This
unusual address had a powerful tendency to arrest the attention of all
present, and from which I took occasion, as truth opened the way, to
reason with the assembly, that if such a confused mass of people as are
generally collected together on such occasions, and from very different
motives, and many from mere curiosity to hear and see the transactions
of the court, should all in an instant so honour and respect the
court, as immediately to be still and silent at the simple call of the
crier: how much more reasonable is it, for a collection of people,
promiscuously gathered to the place appointed in a religious way, to
wait upon, and worship the Judge of heaven and earth, to be still, and
strive to silence every selfish and creaturely thought and cogitation
of the mind. For such thoughts and cogitations would as certainly
prevent our hearing the inward divine voice of the King of heaven, and
as effectually hinder our worshipping him in spirit and in truth, as
the talking of the multitude at a court of moral law, would interrupt
the business thereof. As I proceeded with this simile, the subject
enlarged and spread, accompanied with gospel power and the evident
demonstration of the spirit, whereby truth was raised into victory, and
ran as oil over all. The meeting closed with solemn supplication and
thanksgiving to the Lord our gracious Helper, to whom all the honour
and glory belong, both now and for ever.
We left the city that afternoon, under a grateful sense of the Lord’s
goodness, and rode to Flushing, where we had a large public meeting
that evening, mostly of those not in membership with us. It was a
solemn season, instructive and edifying. I returned home the next day,
and found my family in a reasonable state of health; surely may I not,
with propriety and humility of heart, exclaim with one formerly: “What
shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits towards me?” Are not
his mercies new every morning? his faithfulness faileth not.
Sixth and seventh days. I was industriously occupied in my family
affairs, and the week ended with peace of mind.
First day, the 17th. I was led in our meeting to-day, to call Friends’
attention to the cross; assuring them, that if we lived without the
cross, we must expect to die without the crown. For as the cross
consisted only in doing right, and doing right only in a conformity to
the will of our heavenly Father, and doing all our works agreeable to
his good pleasure and not our own, therefore, doing right is always a
cross to our fallen nature, as nothing can do right in the sight of
God, but a birth or child of God. For although a man in his fallen
state may do a moral act, that in itself is a right work, yet, doing it
for his own pleasure and will, and not because it is agreeable to the
will and pleasure of his Creator, it cannot be accepted as a good act,
because the motive and principle were evil, being selfish and not of
God.
Second day. Busily employed about home and in home affairs.
Third day. Visited a sick friend at his request. Assisted him in
settling his business and wrote his _will_. Surely this is a work which
requires sound judgment and discretion, therefore ought always to be
done in time of health, with proper deliberation, and not in haste.
Fourth day. Attended Westbury monthly meeting, to my own, and I trust,
my friends’ comfort and satisfaction. I believe it was a season of
instruction and profit to many who were present; may it fasten as a
nail in a sure place.
Fifth day. Attended our own monthly meeting. The meeting for worship,
through close labour, proved a quickening tendering season to many
present. In the meeting for discipline, I found it my duty to spread
before my Friends, a concern which had for many months been, at times,
very impressive on my mind, to pay a visit in gospel love, to Friends
and others in some parts of the yearly meeting of Rhode Island. After
due deliberation thereon, they united with it and gave me their
certificate, leaving me at liberty to pursue the prospect, as truth
might open the way. This brought me under serious reflections, in a
view and consideration of the great responsibility which naturally
attaches to those who thus go out on this solemn embassy, with the
concurrence of their Friends. For not only their own reputation as
ministers of the gospel, must rise or fall, according to their good
or ill conduct, but likewise that of their Friends, and the society
they profess to be ministers of; and also, the truth which they seem
to espouse, instead of being advanced, may be retarded thereby. Lay
prostrate, O my soul, at the throne of grace, and seek that wisdom
which is only profitable to direct, that thou mayest be thereby
strengthened to endure hardness, as a good soldier and servant of the
Prince of Peace.
Sixth and seventh days. Busily employed in so arranging matters at
home, as to leave it with a peaceful mind.
First day, the 24th. A profitable edifying meeting with my Friends
at home. I was led to sound forth a gospel message among them, in an
arousing searching testimony, by which many minds were humbled and
contrited.
Second and third days. Employed in making preparation for my proposed
journey.
Fourth day. Attended Friends’ meeting at Westbury, at which there were
two marriages accomplished; which occasioned the meeting to be very
large. Many of other societies came out of curiosity to see the manner
of our marriages, amongst whom, I was largely opened in communication,
to set forth many gospel truths necessary to be believed and witnessed
in our own experience, in order to our salvation. It was a season of
favour, and a very solemn time; may it be blessed and sanctified to
the lasting benefit of all who were present, is the fervent desire and
travail of my spirit.
Fifth day. Attended our meeting in silence. The two following days
busily engaged in arranging my temporal concerns, and putting them in
order, that I may leave home with a peaceful mind.
First day, the 31st. A solemn meeting to-day, in which my mind was
led forth in humble supplication for support and preservation in
my proposed journey; and that the Lord our gracious helper, in his
guardian care, would be pleased to be near my dear family and friends
at home, and be their comfort and strength in every needful time; and
that all those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, might be
redeemed therefrom, and translated into the kingdom of God, that so his
truth might prosper and spread from sea to sea, and from the rivers
to the ends of the earth; that his great and excellent name might be
praised and magnified by all the nations of the earth, from the rising
of the sun, to the going down thereof, world without end. Amen.
Second and third days. Still busily engaged preparatory to leaving
home, with a prospect of setting out on fourth day morning, if way
should open.