BAROMETER, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of
weather we are having.
BARRACK, n. A house in which soldiers enjoy a portion of that of which
it is their business to deprive others.
BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched from the egg of
a cock. The basilisk had a bad eye, and its glance was fatal. Many
infidels deny this creature's existence, but Semprello Aurator saw
and handled one that had been blinded by lightning as a punishment
for having fatally gazed on a lady of rank whom Jupiter loved. Juno
afterward restored the reptile's sight and hid it in a cave. Nothing is
so well attested by the ancients as the existence of the basilisk, but
the cocks have stopped laying eggs.
BASTINADO, n. The act of walking on wood without exertion.
BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship,
with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
The man who taketh a steam bath
He loseth all the skin he hath,
And, for he 's boiled a brilliant red,
Thinketh to cleanliness he's wed,
Forgetting that his lungs he's soiling
With dirty vapors of the boiling.
Richard Gwow.
BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that
would not yield to the tongue.
BEARD, n. The hair that is commonly cut off by those who justly execrate
the absurd Chinese custom of shaving the head.
BEAUTY, n. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a
husband.
BEFRIEND, v. t. To make an ingrate.
BEG, v. To ask for something with an earnestness proportioned to the
belief that it will not be given.
Who is that, father?
A mendicant, child,
Haggard, morose, and unaffable--wild!
See how he glares through the bars of his cell!
With Citizen Mendicant all is not well.
Why did they put him there, father?
Because
Obeying his belly he struck at the laws.
His belly?
Oh, well, he was starving, my boy--
A state in which, doubtless, there 's little of joy.
No bite had he eaten for days, and his cry
Was "Bread!" ever "Bread!"
What 's the matter with pie?
With little to wear, he had nothing to sell;
To beg was unlawful--improper as well.
Why did n't he work?
He would even have done that,
But men said: "Get out!" and the State re marked: "Scat!"
I mention these incidents merely to show
That the vengeance he took was uncommonly low.
Revenge, at the best, is the act of a Siou,
But for trifles--
Pray what did bad Mendicant do?
Stole two loaves of bread to replenish his lack
And tuck out the belly that clung to his back.
Is that <i>all</i> father dear?
There is little to tell:
They sent him to jail, and they'll send him to--
well,
The company's better than here we can boast,
And there's--
Bread for the needy, dear father?
Um--toast.