Sec.471
That all actors sleep till noon, and spend the afternoon calling on
women.
Sec.472
That the men who make sauerkraut press it into barrels by jumping on it
with their bare feet.
Sec.473
That the moment a nigger gets eight dollars, he goes to a dentist and
has one of his front teeth filled with gold.
Sec.474
That one never sees a Frenchman drunk, all the souses whom one sees in
Paris being Americans.
Sec.475
That a daughter is always a much greater comfort to a mother in after
life than a son.
Sec.476
That a man with a weak, receding chin is always a nincompoop.
Sec.477
That English butlers always look down on their American employers, and
frequently have to leave the room to keep from laughing out loud.
Sec.478
That the most faithful and loving of all dogs is the Newfoundland.
Sec.479
That a man always dislikes his mother-in-law, and goes half-crazy every
time she visits him.
Sec.480
That if one doesn't scratch a mosquito bite it will stop itching.
Sec.481
That all the men in the moving picture business were formerly cloak and
suit merchants, and that they are now all millionaires.
Sec.482
That the accumulation of money makes a man hard, and robs him of all his
finer qualities.
Sec.483
That, in an elevator, it is always a man who usurps the looking-glass.
Sec.484
That it is very unlucky to wear an opal.
Sec.485
That if a man's eyebrows meet, it is a sign that he has a very
unpleasant nature.
Sec.486
That a negro ball always ends up in a grand free-for-all fight, in which
several coons are mortally slashed with razors.
Sec.487
That if Houdini were locked up in Sing Sing, he would manage to make his
get-away in less than half an hour's time.
Sec.488
That Bob Ingersoll is in hell.
THE END