CAPTAIN KEARNEY--THE DIGNITY BALL.

The next morning at daylight we exchanged numbers, and saluted the flag,

and by eight o'clock they all anchored. Mr Falcon went on board the

admiral's ship with despatches, and to report the death of Captain

Savage. In about half-an-hour he returned, and we were glad to

perceive, with a smile upon his face, from which we argued that he would

receive his acting order as commander, which was a question of some

doubt, as the admiral had the power to give the vacancy to whom he

pleased, although it would not have been fair if he had not given it to

Mr Falcon; not that Mr Falcon would not have received his commission,

as Captain Savage dying when the ship was under no admiral's command, he

_made himself_; but still the admiral might have sent him home, and not

have given him a ship. But this he did, the captain of the _Minerve_,

being appointed to the _Sanglier_, the captain of the _Opossum_ to the

_Minerve_, and Captain Falcon taking the command of the _Opossum_. He

received his commission that evening, and the next day the exchanges

were made. Captain Falcon would have taken me with him, and offered so

to do; but I could not leave O'Brien, so I preferred remaining in the

_Sanglier_.

We were all anxious to know what sort of a person our new captain was

whose name was Kearney; but we had no time to ask the midshipmen except

when they came in charge of the boats which brought his luggage: they

replied generally, that he was a very good sort of fellow, and there was

no harm in him. But when I had the night watch with Swinburne, he came

up to me, and said, "Well, Mr Simple, so we have a new captain, I

sailed with him for two years in a brig."

"And pray, Swinburne, what sort of a person is he?"

"Why, I'll tell you, Mr Simple; he's a good-tempered, kind fellow

enough, but--"

"But what?"

"Such a _bouncer_!!"

"How do you mean? He's not a very stout man."

"Bless you, Mr Simple, why, you don't understand English. I mean that

he's the greatest liar that ever walked a deck. Now, Mr Simple, you

know I can spin a yarn occasionally."

"Yes, that you can; witness the hurricane the other night."

"Well, Mr Simple, I cannot _hold a candle_ to him. It a'n't that I

might not stretch now and again, just for fun, as far as he can, but,

damn it, he's always on the stretch. In fact, Mr Simple, he never

tells the truth except _by mistake_. He's as poor as a rat, and has

nothing but his pay; yet to believe him, he is worth at least as much as

Greenwich Hospital. But you'll soon find him out, and he'll sarve to

laugh at behind his back, you know, Mr Simple, for that's _no go_

before his face."

Captain Kearney made his appearance on board the next day. The men were

mustered to receive him, and all the officers were on the quarter-deck

"You've a fine set of marines here, Captain Falcon," observed he; "those

I left on board of the _Minerve_ were only fit to be _hung_; and you

have a good show of reefers too--those I left in the _Minerve_ were not

_worth hanging_. If you please, I'll read my commission if you'll order

the men aft." His commission was read, all hands with their hats off

from respect to the authority from which it proceeded. "Now, my lads,"

said Captain Kearney, addressing the ship's company, "I've but a few

words to say to you. I am appointed to command this ship, and you

appear to have a very good character from your late first lieutenant.

All I request of you is this: be smart, keep sober, and always _tell the

truth_--that's enough. Pipe down. Gentlemen," continued he, addressing

the officers, "I trust that we shall be good friends; and I see no

reason that it should be otherwise." He then turned away with a bow,

and called his coxswain--"William, you'll go on board and tell my

steward that I have promised to dine with the governor to-day, and that

he must come to dress me; and, coxswain, recollect to put the sheepskin

mat on the stern gratings of my gig--not the one I used to have when I

was on shore in my _carriage_, but the blue one which was used for the

_chariot--you_ know which I mean." I happened to look Swinburne in the

face, who cocked his eye at me, as much as to say--"There he goes." We

afterwards met the officers of the _Minerve_, who corroborated all that

Swinburne had said, although it was quite unnecessary, as we had the

captain's own words every minute to satisfy us of the fact.

Dinner parties were now very numerous, and the hospitality of the island

is but too well known. The invitations extended to the midshipmen, and

many was the good dinner and kind reception which I had during my stay.

There was, however, one thing I had heard so much of, that I was anxious

to witness it, which was a _dignity ball_. But I must enter a little

into explanation, or my readers will not understand me. The coloured

people of Barbadoes, for reasons best known to themselves, are

immoderately proud, and look upon all the negroes who are born on other

islands as _niggers_; they have also an extraordinary idea of their own

bravery, although I never heard that it has ever been put to the proof.

The free Barbadians are, most of them, very rich, and hold up their

heads as they walk with an air quite ridiculous. They ape the manners

of the Europeans, at the same time that they appear to consider them as

almost their inferiors. Now, a _dignity_ ball is a ball given by the

most consequential of their coloured people, and from the amusement and

various other reasons, is generally well attended by the officers both

on shore and afloat. The price of the tickets of admission was high--I

think they were a joe, or eight dollars each.

The governor sent out cards for a grand ball and supper for the ensuing

week, and Miss Betsy Austin, a quadroon woman, ascertaining the fact,

sent out her cards for the same evening. This was not altogether in

_rivalry_, but for another reason, which was, that she was aware that

most of the officers and midshipmen of the ships would obtain permission

to go to the governor's ball, and preferring hers, would slip away and

join the party, by which means she insured a full attendance.

On the day of invitation our captain came on board, and told our new

first lieutenant (of whom I shall say more hereafter) that the governor

insisted, that all _his_ officers should go--that he would take no

denial, and therefore, he presumed, go they must; that the fact was,

that the governor was a _relation_ of his wife, and under some trifling

obligations to him in obtaining for him his present command. He

certainly had spoken to the _Prime minister_, and he thought it not

impossible, considering the intimate terms which the minister and he had

been on from childhood, that his solicitation might have had some

effect; at all events, it was pleasant to find that there was some

little gratitude left in this world. After this, of course, every

officer went, with the exception of the master, who said that he'd as

soon have two round turns in his hawse as go to see people kick their

legs about like fools, and that he'd take care of the ship.

The governor's ball was very splendid; but the ladies were rather

sallow, from the effects of the climate. However, there were

exceptions, and on the whole it was a very gay affair; but we were all

anxious to go to the _dignity_ ball of Miss Betsy Austin. I slipped

away with three other midshipmen, and we soon arrived there. A crowd of

negroes were outside of the house; but the ball had not yet commenced,

from the want of gentlemen, the ball being very correct, nothing under

mulatto in colour being admitted. Perhaps I ought to say here, that the

progeny of a white and a negro is a mulatto, or half and half--of a

white and mulatto, a _quadroon_, or one quarter black, and of this class

the company were chiefly composed. I believe a quadroon and white make

the _mustee_ or one eighth black, and the mustee and white the

mustafina, or one sixteenth black. After that, they are _white washed_

and considered as Europeans. The pride of colour is very great in the

West Indies, and they have as many quarterings as a German prince, in

his coat of arms; a quadroon looks down upon a mulatto, while a mulatto

looks down upon a sambo, that is, half mulatto half negro, while a sambo

in his turn looks down upon a nigger. The quadroons are certainly the

handsomest race of the whole: some of the women are really beautiful;

their hair is long and perfectly straight, their eyes large and black,

their figures perfection, and you can see the colour mantle in their

cheeks quite as plainly, and with as much effect, as in those of an

European. We found the door of Miss Austin's house open, and ornamented

with orange branches, and on our presenting ourselves were accosted by a

mulatto gentleman, who was, we presumed, "usher of the black rod." His

head was well powdered, he was dressed in white jean trowsers, a

waistcoat not six inches long, and a half-worn post-captain's coat on,

as a livery. With a low bow, he "took de liberty to trouble de

gentlemen for de card for de ball," which being produced, we were

ushered on by him to the ball-room, at the door of which Miss Austin was

waiting to receive her company. She made us a low curtsy, observing,

"She really happy to see de _gentlemen_ of de ship, but hoped to see de

_officers_ also at her _dignity_."

This remark touched our _dignity_, and one of my companions replied,

"That we midshipmen considered ourselves officers, and no _small_ ones

either, and that if she waited for the lieutenants she must wait until

they were tired of the governor's ball, we having given the preference

to hers."

This remark set all to rights; sangaree was handed about, and I looked

around at the company. I must acknowledge, at the risk of losing the

good opinion of my fair countrywomen, that I never saw before so many

pretty figures and faces. The officers not having yet arrived we

received all the attention, and I was successively presented to Miss

Eurydice, Miss Minerva, Miss Sylvia, Miss Aspasia, Miss Euterpe, and

many other, evidently borrowed from the different men-of-war which had

been on the station. All these young ladies gave themselves all the

airs of Almack's. Their dresses I cannot pretend to describe--jewels of

value were not wanting, but their drapery was slight. They appeared

neither to wear nor to require stays, and on the whole, their figures

were so perfect, that they could only be ill-dressed by having on too

much dress. A few more midshipmen and some lieutenants (O'Brien among

the number) having made their appearance, Miss Austin directed that the

ball should commence. I requested the honour of Miss Eurydice's hand in

a cotillon, which was to open the ball. At this moment stepped forth

the premier violin, master of the ceremonies and ballet-master, Massa

Johnson, really a very smart man, who gave lessons in dancing to all the

"'Badian ladies." He was a dark quadroon, his hair slightly powdered,

dressed in a light blue coat thrown well back, to show his lily-white

waistcoat, only one button of which he could afford to button to make

full room for the pride of his heart, the frill of his shirt, which

really was _un jabot superb_, four inches wide, and extending from his

collar to the waist-band of his nankeen tights, which were finished off

at his knees with huge bunches of riband; his legs were encased in silk

stockings, which, however, was not very good taste on his part, as they

showed the manifest advantage which an European has over a coloured man

in the formation of the leg: instead of being straight, his shins curved

like a cheese-knife, and, moreover, his leg was planted into his foot

like the handle into a broom or scrubbing-brush, there being quite as

much of the foot on the heel side as on the toe side. Such was the

appearance of Mr Apollo Johnson, whom the ladies considered as the _ne

plus ultra_ of fashion, and the _arbiter elegantiarum_. His _bow-tick_,

or fiddle-stick, was his wand, whose magic rap on the fiddle produced

immediate obedience to his mandates. "Ladies and gentle, take your

seats." All started up. "Miss Eurydice, you open de ball."

Miss Eurydice had but a sorry partner, but she undertook to instruct me.

O'Brien was our vis-a-vis with Miss Euterpe. The other gentlemen were

officers from the ships, and we stood up twelve, checkered brown and

white, like a chess-board. All eyes were fixed upon Mr Apollo Johnson,

who first looked at the couples, then at his fiddle, and, lastly, at the

other musicians, to see if all was right, and then with a wave of his

_bow-tick_ the music began. "Massa Lieutenant," cried Apollo to

O'Brien, "cross over to opposite lady, right hand and left, den figure

to Miss Eurydice--dat right: now four hand round. You lily midshipman,

set your partner, sir; den twist her round; dat do, now stop. First

figure all over."

At this time I thought I might venture to talk a little with my partner,

and I ventured a remark. To my surprise, she answered very sharply, "I

come here for dance, sar, and not for chatter: look Massa Johnson, he

tap um bow-tick."

The second figure commenced, and I made a sad bungle: so I did of the

third, and fourth, and fifth, for I never had danced a cotillon. When I

handed my partner to her place, who certainly was the prettiest girl in

the room, she looked rather contemptuously at me, and observed to a

neighbour, "I really pity de gentleman as come from England dat no know

how to dance, nor nothing at all, until em hab instruction at

Barbadoes."

A country dance was now called for, which was more acceptable to all

parties, as none of Mr Apollo Johnson's pupils were very perfect in

their cotillon, and none of the officers, except O'Brien, knew anything

about them. O'Brien's superior education on this point, added to his

lieutenant's epaulet and handsome person, made him much courted: but he

took up with Miss Eurydice after I had left her, and remained with her

the whole evening; thereby exciting the jealousy of Mr Apollo Johnson,

who, it appears, was amorous in that direction. Our party increased

every minute: all the officers of the garrison, and, finally, as soon as

they could get away, the governor's aides-de-camp, all dressed in

_mufti_ (i.e. plain clothes). The dancing continued until three o'clock

in the morning, when it was quite a squeeze, from the constant arrival

of fresh recruits from all the houses in Barbadoes. I must say, that a

few bottles of Eau de Cologne thrown about the room would have improved

the atmosphere. By this time the heat was terrible, and the _mopping_

of the ladies' faces everlasting. I would recommend a DIGNITY ball to

all stout gentlemen, who wish to be reduced a stone or two. Supper was

now announced, and having danced the last country dance with Miss

Minerva, I of course had the pleasure of handing her into the supper

room. It was my fate to sit opposite to a fine turkey, and I asked my

partner if I should have the pleasure of helping her to a piece of the

breast. She looked at me very indignantly, and said, "Curse your

impudence, sir, I wonder where you larn manners. Sar, I take a lily

turkey _bosom_, if you please. Talk of _breast_ to a lady, sar!--really

quite _horrid_." I made two or three more barbarous mistakes before the

supper was finished. At last the eating was over, and I must say a

better supper I never sat down to. "Silence, gentlemen and ladies,"

cried Mr Apollo Johnson, "wid de permission of our amiable hostess, I

will purpose a toast. Gentlemen and ladies--You all know, and if be so

you don't, I say there no place in de world like Barbadoes. All de

world fight again England, but England nebber fear; King George nebber

fear, while _Barbadoes 'tand 'tiff_. 'Badian fight for King George to

last drop of him blood. Nebber see the day 'Badian run away; you all

know dem French mans at San Lucee, give up Morne Fortunee, when he hear

de 'Badi volunteer come against him. I hope no 'fence present company,

but um sorry to say English come here too jealous of 'Badians.

Gentlemen and lady--Barbadian born ab only one fault--he _really too

brave_. I purpose health of `Island of Barbadoes.'" Acclamations from

all quarters follow--this truly modest speech, and the toast was drunk

with rapture; the ladies were delighted with Mr Apollo's eloquence, and

the lead which he took in the company.

O'Brien then rose and addressed the company as follows:--"Ladies an

gentlemen--Mr Poll has spoken better than the best parrot I ever met

with in this country; but as he has thought proper to drink the `Island

of Barbadoes,' I mean to be a little more particular. I wish, with him,

all good health to the island; but there is a charm without which the

island would be a desert--that is, the society of the lovely girls who

now surround us, and take our hearts by storm,"--(here O'Brien put his

arm gently round Miss Eurydice's waist, and Mr Apollo ground his teeth

so as to be heard at the furthest end of the room,)--therefore,

gentlemen, with your permission, I will propose the health of the

`'Badian Ladies.' This speech of O'Brien's was declared, by the females

at least, to be infinitely superior to Mr Apollo Johnson's. Miss

Eurydice was even more gracious, and the other ladies were more envious.

Many other toasts and much more wine was drunk, until the male part of

the company appeared to be rather riotous. Mr Apollo, however, had to

regain his superiority, and after some hems and hahs, begged permission

to give a sentiment. "Gentlemen and ladies, I beg then to say--

"Here's to de cock who make lub to de hen,

Crow till he hoarse, and make lub again."

The sentiment was received with rapture; and after silence was obtained,

Miss Betsy Austin rose and said--"Unaccustomed as she was to public

'peaking, she must not sit 'till and not tank de gentleman for his very

fine toast, and in de name of de ladies," she begged leave to propose

another sentimen, which was--

"Here to de hen what nebber refuses,

Let cock pay compliment whenebber he chooses."

If the first toast was received with applause, this was with enthusiasm;

but we received a damper after it was subsided, by the lady of the house

getting up and saying--"Now, gentlemen and ladies, me tink it right to

say dat it time to go home; I nebber allow people get drunk or kick up

bobbery in my house, so now I tink we better take parting-glass, and

very much obliged to you for your company."

As O'Brien said, this was a broad hint to be off, so we all now took our

parting-glass, in compliance with her request and our own wishes, and

proceeded to escort our partners on their way home. While I was

assisting Miss Minerva to her red crape shawl, a storm was brewing in

another quarter, to wit, between Mr Apollo Johnson and O'Brien.

O'Brien was assiduously attending to Miss Eurydice, whispering what he

called soft blarney in her ear, when Mr Apollo, who was above

spirit-boiling heat with jealousy, came up, and told Miss Eurydice that

he would have the honour of escorting her home.

"You may save yourself the trouble, you dingy gut-scraper," replied

O'Brien; "the lady is under my protection, so take your ugly black face

out of the way, or I'll show you how I treat a `'Badian who is really

too brave.'"

"So 'elp me Gad, Massa Lieutenant, 'pose you put a finger on me, I show

you what 'Badian can do."

Apollo then attempted to insert himself between O'Brien and his lady,

upon which O'Brien shoved him back with great violence, and continued

his course towards the door. They were in the passage when I came up,

for hearing O'Brien's voice in anger, I left Miss Minerva to shift for

herself.

Miss Eurydice had now left O'Brien's arm, at his request, and he and Mr

Apollo were standing in the passage, O'Brien close to the door, which

was shut, and Apollo swaggering up to him. O'Brien, who knew the tender

part of a black, saluted Apollo with a kick on the shins, which would

have broken my leg. Massa Johnson roared with pain, and recoiled two or

three paces, parting the crowd away behind him. The blacks never fight

with fists, but butt with their heads like rams, and with quite as much

force. When Mr Apollo had retreated he gave his shin one more rub,

uttered a loud yell, and started at O'Brien, with his head aimed at

O'Brien's chest, like a battering-ram. O'Brien, who was aware of this

plan of fighting, stepped dexterously on one side, and allowed Mr

Apollo to pass by him, which he did with such force, that his head went

clean through the panel of the door behind O'Brien, and there he stuck

as fast as if in a pillory, squealing like a pig for assistance, and

foaming with rage. After some difficulty he was released, and presented

a very melancholy figure. His face was much cut, and his superb jabot

all in tatters; he appeared, however, to have had quite enough of it, as

he retreated to the supper-room, followed by some of his admirers,

without asking or looking after O'Brien.

But if Mr Apollo had had enough of it, his friends were too indignant

to allow us to go off scot-free. A large mob was collected in the

street, vowing vengeance on us for our treatment of their flash man, and

a row was to be expected. Miss Eurydice had escaped, so that O'Brien

had his hands free. "Cam out, you hangman tiefs, cam out! only wish had

rock stones to mash your heads with," cried the mob of negroes. The

officers now sallied out in a body, and were saluted with every variety

of missile, such as rotten oranges, cabbage-stalks, mud, and cocoa-nut

shells. We fought our way manfully, but as we neared the beach the mob

increased to hundreds, and at last we could proceed no further, being

completely jammed up by the niggers, upon whose heads we could make no

more impression than upon blocks of marble. "We must draw our swords,"

observed an officer. "No, no," replied O'Brien, "that will not do; if

once we shed blood, they will never let us get on board with our lives.

The boat's crew by this time must be aware that there is a row."

O'Brien was right. He had hardly spoken, before a lane was observed to

be made through the crowd in the distance, which in two minutes was open

to us. Swinburne appeared in the middle of it, followed by the rest of

the boat's crew, armed with the boat's stretchers, which they did not

aim at the heads of the blacks, but swept them like scythes against

their shins. This they continued to do, right and left of us, as we

walked through and went down to the boats, the seamen closing up the

rear with their stretchers, with which they ever and anon made a sweep

at the black fellows if they approached too near. It was now broad

daylight, and in a few minutes we were again safely on board the

frigate. Thus ended the first and last dignity ball that I attended.

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