I AM INTRODUCED TO THE QUARTER-DECK, AND FIRST LIEUTENANT, WHO
PRONOUNCES ME VERY CLEVER--TROTTED BELOW TO MRS. TROTTER--CONNUBIAL
BLISS IN A COCK-PIT--MRS. TROTTER TAKES ME IN, AS A MESSMATE.
On our arrival on board, the coxswain gave a note from the captain to
the first lieutenant, who happened to be on deck. He read the note,
looked at me earnestly, and then I overheard him say to another
lieutenant, "The service is going to the devil. Here's another of the
fools of a family made a present of to the country--another cub for me
to lick into shape. Well, I never saw the one yet I did not make
something of. Where's Mr Simple?"
"I am Mr Simple, sir," replied I, very much frightened at what I had
overheard.
"Now, Mr Simple," said the first lieutenant, "observe and pay
particular attention to what I say. The captain tells me in this note
that you have been shamming stupid. Now, sir, I am not to be taken in
that way. I have looked attentively at your face and I see at once that
you are _very clever_, and if you do not prove so in a very short time,
why--you had better jump overboard, that's all. Perfectly understand
me. I know that you are a very clever fellow, and having told you so,
don't you pretend to impose upon me, for it won't do."
I was very much terrified at this speech, but at the same time I was
pleased to hear that he thought me clever, and I determined to do all in
my power to keep up such an unexpected reputation.
"Quarter-master," said the first lieutenant, "tell Mr Trotter to come
on deck."
The quarter-master brought up Mr Trotter, who apologised for being so
dirty, as he was breaking casks out of the hold. He was a short,
thickset man, about thirty years of age, with a nose which had a red
club to it, very dirty teeth, and large black whiskers.
"Mr Trotter," said the first lieutenant, "here is a young gentleman who
has joined the ship. Introduce him into the berth, and see his hammock
slung. You must look after him a little."
"I really have very little time to look after any of them, sir," replied
Mr Trotter, "but I will do what I can. Follow me, youngster."
Accordingly, I descended the ladder after him; then I went down another,
and then to my surprise I was desired by him to go down a third, which,
when I had done, he informed me that I was in the cock-pit.
"Now, youngster," said Mr Trotter, seating himself upon a large chest,
"you may do as you please. The midshipmen's mess is on the deck above
this, and if you like to join, why you can; but this I will tell you as
a friend, that you will be thrashed all day long, and fare very badly;
the weakest always goes to the wall there, but perhaps you do not mind
that. Now that we are in harbour, I mess here, because Mrs Trotter is
on board. She is a very charming woman, I can assure you, and will be
here directly; she has just gone up into the galley to look after a net
of potatoes in the copper. If you like it better, I will ask her
permission for you to mess with us." I had scarcely time to reply, when
I perceived a pair of legs, cased in black cotton stockings, on the
ladder above us, and it proved that they belonged to Mrs Trotter, who
came down the ladder with a net full of smoking potatoes.
"Upon my word, Mrs Trotter, you must be conscious of having a very
pretty ankle, or you would not venture to display it, as you have to Mr
Simple, a young gentleman whom I beg to introduce to you, and who, with
your permission, will join our mess."
"My dear Trotter, how cruel of you not to give me warning; I thought
that nobody was below. I declare I'm so ashamed," continued the lady
simpering, and covering her face with the hand which was unemployed.
"It can't be helped now, my love, neither was there any thing to be
ashamed of. I trust Mr Simple and you will be very good friends. I
believe I mentioned his desire to join our mess."
"I am sure I shall be very happy in his company. This is a strange
place for me to live in, Mr Simple, after the society to which I have
been accustomed; but affection can make any sacrifice; and rather than
lose the company of my Trotter, who has been unfortunate in pecuniary
matters--"
"But, my dear," interrupted Mr Trotter, "is it not time to look after
our dinner?"
"Yes; I am going forward for it now. We have skewer pieces today Mr
Simple, will you excuse me?"--and then, with a great deal of flirtation
and laughing about her ankles, and requesting me, as a favour, to turn
my face away, Mrs Trotter ascended the ladder.
As the reader may wish to know what sort of looking personage she was, I
will take this opportunity to describe her. Her figure was very good,
and at one period of her life I thought her face must have been very
handsome; at the time I was introduced to her, it showed the ravages of
time or hardship very distinctly; in short, she might be termed a faded
beauty, flaunting in her dress, and not very clean in her person.
"Charming woman, Mrs Trotter, is she not, Mr Simple?" said the
master's mate; to which of course I immediately acquiesced. "Now, Mr
Simple," continued he, "there are a few arrangements which I had better
mention while Mrs Trotter is away, for she would be shocked at our
talking about such things. Of course, the style of living which we
indulge in is rather expensive. Mrs Trotter cannot dispense with her
tea and her other little comforts; at the same time I must put you to no
extra expense--I had rather be out of pocket myself. I propose that
during the time you mess with us, you shall only pay one guinea per
week; and, as for entrance money, why I think I must not charge you more
than a couple of guineas. Have you any money?"
"Yes," I replied, "I have three guineas and a half left."
"Well, then, give me the three guineas, and the half guinea you can
reserve for pocket-money. You must write to your friends immediately
for a further supply."
I handed him the money, which he put in his pocket. "Your chest,"
continued he, "you shall bring down here, for Mrs Trotter will, I am
sure, if I request it, not only keep it in order for you, but see that
your clothes are properly mended. She is a charming woman, Mrs
Trotter, and very fond of young gentlemen. How old are you?"