Immeasurable Greed
Let us now go with some particularity into these charges that I
make against Mrs. Eddy. I charge that she has been and is wholly
mercenary; that her pretended revelation, her pretended
exceptional character as successor to Jesus, her pretended
marvelous curative powers, are dishonestly invented and put
forth, first, as a means of making money, and then as a means of
acquiring despotic power.
First, as to the mercenary motive.
Mrs. Eddy’s activity as a teacher of Christian Science began in
the year 1870, after leaving Stoughton and going to Lynn,
Massachusetts. She was then in her fiftieth year, and from the
time of her marriage to Glover in 1843 had been extremely poor.
Christian Science, at the very outset, took on a money-making
character. Her familiarity with Quimby’s teachings, transformed
into a discovery of her own, and then into a revelation from God,
became with her a business asset to be utilized for revenue only.
In the introduction to her “Science and Health,” published in
1898, Mrs. Eddy says that her “first pamphlet on Christian
Science was copyrighted in 1870, but it did not appear in print
until 1876, as she had learned that this science must be
demonstrated by healing before a work on the subject could be
_profitably_ published.” I emphasize the word “profitably.” At
the very start there was the resolution in the woman’s heart that
this “science,” ultimately to become a “religion,” was not to be
given to the world until it could be published with _profit_ to
her, and from the beginning, until now, _profit_ has been her
first and main consideration.
In the _Banner of Light_, the organ of the spiritualists, of July
4, 1869, and three years after the date she now claims as the
time of the “revelation,” Mrs. Eddy, then Mrs. Glover, published
the following advertisement:
“Any person desiring to learn how to heal the sick can receive
of the undersigned instruction that will enable them to
commence healing on a principle of science with success far
beyond any of the present modes. No medicine, electricity,
physiology or Hygiene required for unparalleled success in the
most difficult cases. No pay is required unless the skill is
obtained. Address Mrs. Mary B. Glover, Amesbury, Mass., Box
61.”
One is reminded of the flaunting advertisements of the cut-rate
drug stores, guaranteeing a cure by a liberal use of patent
medicines or a return of the money.
Mrs. Eddy started out with the guarantee system, no skill
imparted, no money required; but it may be believed that the
guarantee system was speedily abandoned. There was no money in a
guarantee of skill to heal disease through Mrs. Eddy’s teachings,
and a change was speedily made to the permanently-adopted system
of “_cash in advance_.”
It appears that, as to teaching, there was a progressive scale of
charges. First it was whatever she could get; then $100 in
advance, with ten per cent royalty on the students’ subsequent
income from practice, and $1,000 if, having learned the system,
he did not care to practise it; then $300 for twelve lessons,
cash “strictly in advance,” and ultimately $300 for _seven_
lessons, “cash strictly in advance.”
I have examined the court record in two litigations instituted by
Mrs. Eddy (years after God had, as she says, selected her for her
divine mission), for the recovery of money alleged by her to be
due upon a contract reading as follows:
“We, the undersigned, do hereby agree, in consideration of
instructions and manuscripts received from Mrs. Mary B. Glover,
to pay her $100 in advance, and ten per cent annually on the
income that we receive from practicing or teaching the same. We
also do hereby agree to pay the said Mary B. Glover $1,000 in
case we do not practice or teach the science she has taught
us.”
The _Banner of Light_ advertisement was dated July 4, 1869, and
one of the contracts is dated August 17, 1870, so it will be seen
how brief was the duration of Mrs. Eddy’s guarantee system of
operating.
I think, in all her lawsuits for the recovery of tuition Mrs.
Eddy never prevailed after a hearing upon the merits, and in one
of them, the Judge, who tried her case, after having heard her
testimony in full, said:
“I do not find any instruction given by her nor any
explanations of her ‘science’ or ‘method of healing,’ which are
intelligible to ordinary comprehension, or which could in any
way be of value in fitting the defendant as a competent and
successful practitioner of any intelligible art or method of
healing the sick. And I am of opinion that the consideration
for the agreement has wholly failed, and I so find.”
This finding of the court is interesting as a judicial estimate,
based upon her own sworn testimony, of the value of Mrs. Eddy’s
Christian Science, which has never been any more intelligible to
any one else than it was to the learned Judge.
In 1881, Mrs. Eddy established what she called the Massachusetts
Metaphysical College, which was an institution for the turning
out of Christian Science healers. Her adopted son and husband,
with herself, constituted the faculty of this remarkable
institution, and the entire college course consisted of twelve
lessons. The following is taken from an advertisement in the
_Christian Science Journal_, Mrs. Eddy’s personal organ, for
September, 1886, under the heading, “Massachusetts Metaphysical
College, Rev. Mary Baker G. Eddy, President, 571 Columbus Ave.,
Boston, Mass.”:
“The collegiate course in Christian Science metaphysical
healing includes twelve lessons. Class convenes at 10 a.m. The
first week, six consecutive lessons. The term continues about
three weeks. _Tuition, three hundred dollars. Tuition for all
strictly in advance_.”
Remember that this was Mrs. Eddy’s charge fifteen years after God
had, by revelation, as she says, freely imparted to her what she
was here advertising to sell at the rate of twenty-five dollars
per lesson, cash “strictly in advance.” Mrs. Eddy’s was a
strictly cash business, no trust, no “revelation” C.O.D., or on
the installment plan, and no money returned however dissatisfied
with the purchase.
Referring to this charge of three hundred dollars for twelve
lessons, Mrs. Eddy, in her book, “Retrospection and
Introspection,” has perpetrated one the funniest passages to be
found in all literature:
“When God impelled me to set a price on Christian Science mind
healing,” she says, “_I_ could think of no financial equivalent
for the impartation of a knowledge of that divine power which
heals; but _I was led_ to name three hundred dollars as the
price for each pupil in one course of lessons at my college; a
startling sum for tuition lasting barely three weeks. This
amount _greatly troubled me_. I _shrank_ from asking it, but
was finally _led by a strange Providence_ to _accept_ this fee.
God has since shown me in multitudinous ways the wisdom of this
decision.”
The idea of setting a price on Christian Science mind healing
never occurred to Mrs. Eddy until God called it to her attention
and impelled her to it. Unaided, it was impossible for her to
have thought of or wished to establish a financial equivalent for
the impartation of a knowledge of that “divine power which
heals,” but, led by Divine Providence, she finally consented to
name three hundred dollars as the price. God, from his seat at
the center of the universe, turning His attention from the laws
that hold the spheres in their orbits, leaning earthward,
whispered in the attentive woman’s ear, “Mary, a price should be
charged for my word. It is a private snap, all your own, and
three hundred dollars is about the proper figure.” So troubled
was this diffident person by the divine command, that she
positively shrank, retreated before it with her hands clasped
tight behind her. How persistent must the Almighty have been to
have overcome such hesitancy! How He must have labored to
convince the woman that His revelation was expressly designed for
her pecuniary profit. But God triumphed and Mrs. Eddy yielded,
and subsequently in multitudinous ways Providence demonstrated to
her the wisdom of her decision—multitudinous ways—and
multitudinous dollars.
So shrinkingly did Mrs. Eddy prevail upon herself, finally, to
accept this God-ordained financial equivalent for “impartation of
the divine power that heals” to those who could afford to pay in
advance for it at the rate of twenty-five dollars per hour, that
a large imagination may possibly conceive of the struggle with
herself necessary to enable her to bring suit in the courts to
recover from those she had been foolish enough to trust,
notwithstanding her noble resolution to carry on a strictly cash
business; and surely it will be quite impossible for any one,
however gifted with imaginative faculty, to realize what the poor
creature _must_ have suffered to overcome the “shrinking” that
possessed her modest soul so far as to enable her to _increase_
her charge by almost a hundred per cent, as she did in a couple
of years.
If we may judge by results, it must be admitted that the wisdom,
the commercial wisdom, of her decision, whether shown by God or
not, was quite clearly demonstrated, as Mrs. Eddy says that
“during seven years some four thousand students were taught by me
(her) in this college.” Four thousand students, at three hundred
dollars per student, for a “college” course of twelve lessons!
Four thousand times three hundred equals one million two hundred
thousand, and one million two hundred thousand dollars may be
said to be fairly reasonable compensation for instruction, even
in Christian Science, covering a period of seven years,
especially as it was all in the family. A family of three, even
three adults, as frugal and thrifty as these, could comfortably
provide themselves with the necessaries of life upon an income of
one hundred and seventy thousand dollars a year.
Mrs. Eddy has put herself to some trouble to show that she got
the full three hundred dollars from every one of the four
thousand students. I don’t think she did, but I have no doubt she
tried to. However, she says she did, in these words:
“I wrote ‘Science and Health, with Key to the Scriptures,’
taught students for a tuition of $300 each and seldom taught
without having charity scholars, sometimes a dozen or upwards
in one class. Afterwards, with touching tenderness, those very
students sent me the full tuition money. However, I returned
this money with love; but it was again mailed to me in letters
begging me to accept it, saying, ‘Your teachings are worth much
more to me than money can be.’”
God had decided that three hundred dollars was a financial
_equivalent_ for the teaching; but the grateful students deemed
its value beyond financial computation. Presumably the payment of
the large tuition was, in itself, a means of grace and power,
just as those who have paid the healers’ bills most promptly have
recovered most speedily.
According to its founder, “Christian Science demonstrates that
the patient who pays whatever he is able to pay for being healed
is more apt to recover than he who withholds the slight
equivalent for health.” Pay well, extremely well, for teaching if
you aim to become a great healer; and impress upon your patients
the pronounced curative properties of prompt and liberal payment
of their bills for treatment!
President Mary Baker G. Eddy and her faculty, which, when it did
not consist of herself alone, included her third husband and
adopted son, do not seem to have needed a bargain counter for
marked down educations. Marked up educations in Christian Science
were the ones that sold best, as Mrs. Eddy wisely foresaw. So,
after only a couple of years of the God-established rate of three
hundred dollars for twelve lessons, Mrs. Eddy and her learned
faculty concluded to set aside God’s judgment and raise the
rates. They thriftily, and “shrinkingly,” of course, resolved
that three hundred dollars for so many as _twelve_ lessons,
although advised by God, was in truth not a fair “financial
equivalent for an impartation of a knowledge of that divine power
which heals,” and in the _Christian Science Journal_ for
December, 1888, twenty-two years after God had, as she says,
_freely_ revealed it to her, Mrs. Eddy published the following
notice:
“Having reached a place in teaching where my students in
Christian Science are taught more during seven lessons in the
primary class than they were formerly in twelve, and taught all
that is profitable at one time, hereafter the primary class
will include seven lessons only. As this number of lessons is
of more value than twice this number in times past, no change
is made in the price of tuition, _three hundred dollars_. Mary
Baker G. Eddy.”
_Three hundred dollars_ for _seven lessons_, _forty-two dollars
per lesson_, from each person in the _primary class_ of
_unalloyed humbug_, by a _rank impostor!_ Over two thousand
dollars for each single lesson to classes of fifty, and thousands
of people living in the most enlightened portion of the world, in
the latter part of the nineteenth century, willing to pay it!
Verily there is ground for humbleness of spirit in such a display
of credulity, not to say imbecility, or, as Mark Twain would say,
_asininity_, in this so-called enlightened age!
Does not, in all sincerity, I ask, does not Mrs. Eddy’s
“shrinking” suggest in an impressive and beautiful way the chaste
hesitancy of the hungry pig as he scrambles on all fours into the
replenished trough!
Recall the picture of the haloed Mrs. Eddy standing by His side
and holding the Saviour’s hand, as illustrative of equality and
“Christian Unity”; and imagine, if imagination be equal to the
task, Jesus availing Himself of His communion and kinship with
the Father to accumulate money. Fancy His Sermon on the Mount
being imparted, after the payment to Him by each disciple of a
financial equivalent of the proportions of the Eddy exaction. See
Him crowding into the courts those poor unfortunates who were
unable to pay, and by the employment of legal process seeking to
wrest it from them. Imagine His requiring all His disciples to
sign a contract to pay so much in advance, such a percentage of
their annual income from healing, and one thousand dollars
forfeit if they were indisposed to heal after having been taught.
Hear Him instructing His disciples to go into all the world,
teach the gospel to every creature for cash strictly in advance,
to lay hands upon the sick and assure them that they would be
more likely to be healed after having paid whatever they were
able to pay for the service.
Again, may we hear the burst of divine indignation at the impious
and infamous pretensions of this sordid creature! Again the
words, “Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers! How can ye escape
the damnation of hell”!
But teaching was not Mrs. Eddy’s only bonanza, and her income
from teaching was only a fraction of her total income.
In 1875, or thereabouts, Mrs. Eddy had a book on her hands that
she had most laboriously written, and for which she must create a
market. The book was the veriest rubbish and, with only her name
to back it, was utterly without value to any one. In course of
time, it not selling readily, the idea seems to have dawned upon
her that, if she could make people believe that this book, this
crude, incoherent jumbling together of meaningless terms, was in
very deed the Word of God, the Infallible, the All-wise, and that
its mere perusal would cure disease, a market would be created
for it and her fortune would be made. Acting upon this theory,
little by little she advanced the idea that the contents of the
book came to her by revelation, and she soon reached a point
where she did not hesitate to declare that it is, in its details
and in its completeness, the “Word of God” in precisely the same
sense and to precisely the same extent that the Christian
believes the Scriptures to be the word of God.
She would blush, she says, to speak of “Science and Health” as
she does, “were it of human origin” and she “apart from God its
author,” and “No human pen or tongue taught me the Science
contained in this book and neither tongue nor pen can overthrow
it;” and she boldly affirms it to have been expressly “authorized
by Christ” as an interpreter of the Bible. Referring to its
curative properties, she said, “The perusal of the author’s
publications heals sickness.”
With these affirmations the humbug was consummated and the book
placed upon a parity with, nay, upon a higher plane than, the
Bible, for I think it has never been said that the mere reading
of the Bible cures disease; but never for a moment did the shrewd
woman relax her hold upon her copyright or permit the
publication, outside the covers of her copyrighted books, of even
so much as her so-called spiritual interpretation of the Lord’s
Prayer or the tenets of the faith. Everybody must pay her a
royalty for access even to her prayers and her creed. Mrs. Eddy
has been wise in her day and generation. She knew how large a
part of the public likes to be fooled _all_ the time, and she has
fooled and now fools a very considerable part to the very top of
its bent.
Many hundreds of thousands of copies of this book have been sold
at three dollars and upwards per copy. It is entitled, “Science
and Health, with Key to the Scriptures,” although the only parts
of the Scriptures touched upon by the alleged “Key” are the first
chapter of the Old Testament and the last chapter of the New,
Genesis and Revelation. To the intervening goodly portions God
does not, through Mrs. Eddy, appear to have furnished us any
“Key.”
“A Christian Scientist,” says Mrs. Eddy “requires my work
‘Science and Health’ for his text book, as do all his students
and patients;” the soul’s salvation and body’s health being
dependent upon the purchase and perusal thereof.
The organization of the Massachusetts Metaphysical College, so
called, which, let me again affirm, was a sham affair from start
to finish, without college building, classrooms, faculty,
curriculum or entrance or graduating examinations, this
institution was a valuable agency for the distribution of Mrs.
Eddy’s inspired and curative and copyrighted and costly writings,
and so have been the First Church of Christ, Scientist, in
Boston, the Mother Church, so called, and all the other Christian
Science churches, of which the book itself has been, by her
decree, constituted the impersonal “pastor.” Every member of
every church and every student at the “college” must have a copy
of the inspired “Science and Health,” at three dollars per copy,
for the cheapest editions. (There is good profit in three dollars
for a book costing not over fifty cents to publish—five hundred
per cent profit.) Every teacher of Christian Science and every
teacher’s student must have a copy of “Science and Health”
properly to teach and to understand Mrs. Eddy’s “Science.”
Every one of the five thousand advertising Christian Science
healers must keep a stock of the books on hand and sell them to
their patients, who are made to believe, or to try to believe,
Mrs. Eddy’s absurd pretension that its mere perusal cures
disease, at prices ranging from three to six dollars, according
to binding. And, finally, chapters having been transposed, the
most trivial additions made or a different picture of the author
inserted, all hands are invited, no matter how many copies may
already be upon their shelves, to again step up and buy another
copy, the revised edition, containing matter said to be of the
greatest importance to their bodily and spiritual welfare, and
_all_ obediently accept the invitation.
In the words of our friend, Colonel Sellers of joyful memory,
“There’s millions in it”!!!
It would be difficult to convince any one of the boundless
audacity employed by Mrs. Eddy to promote the sale of this
worthless book, if the authoritative evidence over her own
signature were not available; but she has convicted herself, has
proven in her own hand over her own signature that the author of
this book, the founder of this alleged religion and the pretended
successor to Jesus is the arch impostor of all time.
Before I quote the grabber of money against the “founder” of a
“religion,” let me remind you that it was and is a part of Mrs.
Eddy’s claim that her teachings complete the teachings of Jesus;
that her “religion” completes the religion of Christ; that, as
Jesus said, “No man cometh unto the Father but by Me,” so Mrs.
Eddy, in effect, says, “No man cometh unto the Father but by
Jesus, and me.” To come unto the Father is to obtain knowledge of
the Father, and, according to Mrs. Eddy, while incomplete
knowledge may be obtained through the teachings of Jesus,
complete knowledge of the Father is attainable only through Jesus
and her. She has established and organized The First Church of
Christ, Scientist, in Boston, ostensibly to lead into complete
knowledge of the Father those who seek Him in spirit and in
truth. Bearing this in mind, note what follows, taken from the
March, 1897, _Christian Science Journal_, signed by Mary Baker G.
Eddy, and published just as her book, “Miscellaneous Writings,”
was placed upon the market and for the sole purpose of promoting
its sale.
She says: “Christian Scientists in the United States and Canada
are hereby enjoined not to teach a student of Christian Science
for one year, commencing on March 14, 1897.
“Miscellaneous Writings is calculated to prepare the minds of
all true thinkers to understand the Christian Science text book
more correctly than a student can.
“The Bible, ‘Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures,’
and my other published works, are the only proper instructors
for this hour. _It shall be the duty of all Christian
Scientists to circulate and to sell as many of these books as
they can_.
“_If a member of The First Church of Christ, Scientists, shall
fail to obey this injunction, it will render him liable to lose
his membership in this church_.
Mary Baker G. Eddy.”
At this time there were upwards of twenty thousand members,
resident and non-resident, of this church, and every one of them
was by this decree required to become a canvasser for the sale of
Mrs. Eddy’s books. Twenty thousand unpaid vendors of her
worthless patent medicine, upon which there was a profit of five
hundred per cent! Is it not enough to make other manufacturers of
proprietary concoctions turn green with envy!
This compulsory sale of her books was in 1897, when Mrs. Eddy was
seventy-six, but she is the same woman today, at eighty-eight
years of age. With only a few steps between her and the grave,
she reaches out her withered, palsied hand to grab, grab, grab.
One of her latter-day schemes for bleeding the faithful has been,
as I have indicated, to publish frequent “revised” editions of
her great work, “Science and Health,” with the announcement of
additions to its text necessary to growth in “Science.” Everybody
must buy a new book and add a new profit to Mrs. Eddy’s coffers.
In February, 1908, over her signature, she published this:
“Take Notice
“I request Christian Scientists universally to read the
paragraph beginning at line thirty of page 442 in the edition
of ‘Science and Health,’ which will be issued, February 29. I
consider the information there given to be of _great
importance_ at this stage of the workings of animal magnetism,
and it will _greatly aid_ the students in their individual
experiences.
“Mary Baker G. Eddy.”
Shortly after the time of the publication of this notice (the
litigation brought by her sons being still pending) Senator
Chandler, their senior counsel with whom I was associated,
happened to be in Boston. As the Senator was particularly
interested in keeping tabs on Mrs. Eddy’s mental attitude toward
so-called “animal magnetism,” he asked me if I would procure for
him a copy of this edition, as her notice seemed to indicate a
possible change in her point of view on that subject. After
protesting mildly that I hated to put any good money into that
fake enterprise, I went to the publication office in Boston and
asked for a copy of the edition of “Science and Health” published
on February 29. The clerk in attendance informed me that the
edition was completely exhausted, but that another edition
containing those alterations and others could be had. Insisting
that no other edition than the one of February 29 would answer my
purpose, a somewhat worn copy was finally produced as the only
one in the place and I was told I could have it, if I didn’t
object to its condition. Turning to page 442 and running my eye
down to line thirty, where there was a little paragraph of two
lines, I returned the book to the clerk and said it was not what
I wanted, as it didn’t appear to contain the new matter of “great
importance” referred to by Mrs. Eddy’s published notice. Upon his
assurance, however, that it was the volume published on February
29 and that the paragraph of two lines, at line thirty, page 442,
was the paragraph referred to in Mrs. Eddy’s notice, I tucked the
little gold brick under my arm, reluctantly parted with my three
good dollars and, returning to the Parker House, handed it to
Senator Chandler without a word.
Turning to page 442, the Senator paused at line thirty long
enough to read the paragraph of two lines, and then, looking up,
exclaimed:
“What a swindle! Do you suppose any one can be of so little
intelligence, who buys that book in consequence of Mrs. Eddy’s
notice and reads this paragraph, that he does not feel, as we
feel, that he has been swindled?”
I assured the Senator that, in my judgment, Mrs. Eddy’s following
was largely made up of people who dearly loved to hand their
money over to her, that nothing else gave them quite such joy and
that they would be only too delighted and satisfied to be told by
Mrs. Eddy that they must be a law unto themselves in order to be
protected, sleeping or awake, from the foul fiend of animal
magnetism. As Mrs. Eddy says her students said of her teachings
for which they had rapturously parted with three hundred dollars,
“it was worth more to them than money could possibly be.”
What was this information, of “_great importance_,” which “would
_greatly aid_ the students” and which Christian Scientists
“universally” must buy a new book to read? It was just two lines
inserted in a blank space at the end of a chapter and
necessitated the change of no other plate of a single page in the
book.
“Christian Scientists, be a law to yourselves, that mental
malpractice can harm you neither when asleep nor when awake.”
Only this and _nothing more_. It is senseless, and yet it cost
many thousands of Christian Scientists from three to six dollars
apiece to find out, if they could find anything out, that the
“revelator” had sold them a “gold brick.” And even since the
edition of February, 1908, another edition, with only one line
added, has been foisted upon the faithful.
What is the meaning of these things? Here is a woman claiming the
succession to Jesus, claiming to have received an exclusive
revelation from Almighty God necessary to salvation, and, having
organized a church ostensibly to lead unto the Father, she
requires, as a condition of continued membership in the church,
that its members shall “_circulate_ and _sell_” as _many_ of her
copyrighted books, upon which there is a profit of five hundred
per cent, “as they _can_”; and, year in and year out, she palms
off upon the believers new editions of the old stuff upon the
false pretense of new material important to their spiritual
growth.
Nobody ever went at a thing in a more round-about, indirect
fashion, and nobody ever resorted to trickery more shamelessly
than has the Reverend Mary Baker G. Eddy. Nobody ever assumed
with so much boldness the complete asininity of the human race,
as has this woman who professes to be the successor to Jesus
Christ.
In the fall of 1899 suits were brought (as explained in the
Introduction) against Mrs. Eddy and some of her leading
supporters for the libel upon Mrs. Woodbury, in which damages,
approximating half a million dollars, were asked. Mrs. Eddy and
her friends were much alarmed and prepared for the most strenuous
defence that could possibly be made. It was denied that Mrs.
Woodbury was in any way referred to in the passage complained of;
but numerous lawyers were retained to contest her endeavor to
show that the denial was false. Mrs. Eddy retained four different
firms of lawyers to represent her, three prominent Boston firms
and the leading firm in New Hampshire, where she then lived. She
thus found herself involved in enormous and unexpected expense,
and money became the burning question of the hour.
Mrs. Eddy well knew, from experience, that all she had to do to
procure the money necessary, was to ask the faithful to give it
to her; but she, naturally, didn’t care to make an open appeal
for it. She resorted, as I believe, to the strangest and most
audacious trick ever employed by any human being to get money out
of honest and trusting people.
Four days before Christmas, 1899, when it was safe to assume that
the customary Christmas offerings were in the mail on their way
to her, she published in the _Christian Science Sentinel_ the
following:
“A Card.
“Beloved: I ask this favor of all Christian Scientists. Do not
give me on, before, or after the forthcoming holidays, aught
material except three tea jackets. All may contribute to these.
One learns to value material things only as one needs them, and
the costliest things are those that one needs least. Among my
present needs material are these three jackets. Two of darkish
heavy silk, the shade appropriate to white hair. The third of
heavy satin, lighter shade, but sufficiently sombre. Nos. 1 and
2 to be common sense jackets for Mother to work in, and not
over trimmed by any means. No. 3 for best, such as she can
afford for her drawing room.
“Mary Baker Eddy.”
When this “Card” was published Mrs. Eddy must have believed that
there were upwards of a million Christian Scientists, for years
before she had said, “In 1883 a million of people acknowledge and
attest the blessings of this mental system of treating disease.”
So she must have expected approximately a million people to make
some response to her request.
It will be noted that the “Card” doesn’t ask for tea jackets; it
asks for contributions for tea jackets. Mrs. Eddy had no
expectation that a million or more garments would be received in
response to her statement that she needed two of heavy silk, the
shade appropriate to white hair, and one of heavy satin lighter
shade but sufficiently sombre. If she had wanted the tea jackets
and not contributions, she would have given waist and bust
measurements, with length of sleeve and skirt. No, there was no
room for doubt that what she wanted from _all_ her “Beloved” was
contributions and not jackets, and as she hadn’t designated
anyone to receive the contributions, _all_ were asked to make for
Mother’s benefit, there was nothing to do but send the
contributions straight to Mother. _All_ had contributed many
times and _all_ were given another precious chance to show how
“easy” they were.
There was never any publicity given to contributions received for
the two common sense jackets for Mother to work in, and the more
elaborate one such as she could afford for her drawing-room; but
who, that has any familiarity with the exceeding eagerness of
Mrs. Eddy’s followers to contribute, can have any doubt that none
would think of sending her less than five dollars.
How lovely! There were not more than fifty thousand Christian
Scientists at this time, but, if each chipped in five dollars
toward Mother’s jackets, two hundred and fifty thousand dollars
dropped into her lap.
I am only giving my interpretation of Mrs. Eddy’s strange
request, when I say that clearly what she wanted was not tea
jackets, but money to finance her very elaborate and expensive
preparations to contest Mrs. Woodbury’s suits. She wanted money,
she wanted it at once, and so she asked for it immediately. The
request was made for a Christmas present, and it was made four
days before Christmas.
My understanding that what Mrs. Eddy was after was money and not
tea jackets, is confirmed by her own subsequent statement that
she didn’t really want the garments after all. She gave her
“Beloved” a whole week to decide how much the contribution should
be and to make it. A minute was time enough, and she graciously
gave them a whole week; and then she withdrew the request
altogether.
On December 28, 1899, a week after the publication of the first
“Card,” Mrs. Eddy published another, which is a perfect gem of
characteristic ambiguity. It follows:
A Card.
Beloved: I accept most gratefully your purpose to clothe me,
and when God has clothed you sufficiently, He will make it easy
for you to clothe one of his little ones. Give yourselves no
more trouble to get the three garments called for by me through
last week’s _Sentinel_.
Mary Baker Eddy.
Pleasant View, Concord, N.H., Dec. 25, 1899.
Mother had _asked_ for contributions for three tea jackets, and
now accepts most gratefully the purpose of her “Beloved” to
clothe her; and modestly puts it by. When God has clothed them
sufficiently, He will make it easy for them to clothe one of His
little ones. There speaks the oracle for you with true Delphic
vagueness. “Give yourself no more trouble to get the garments
called for by me through last week’s _Sentinel_.”
One thing, at least, is plain. She hadn’t called for jackets, but
for contributions for jackets; and a week had been accorded her
dear followers to contribute.
After everybody from whom a contribution could be expected, had
sent it along, they are informed that the tea jackets were not
wanted and that when God had sufficiently clothed them, He would
make it easy for them to clothe one of His little ones.
Mother concluded that the common-sense jackets were not necessary
to her work and that she could sufficiently grace her
drawing-room without the help of the Beloved; but it has not
appeared that any of the solicited contributions were returned.
I cannot say what an impression the loyal Christian Scientists
may have received from this performance on the part of their
leader; but I am very certain that any man of common sense, who
had sent money in response to Mrs. Eddy’s first card, when he
perused the second would speedily come to the conclusion that he
had been buncoed.
I cannot leave this subject without giving one more illustration
of Mrs. Eddy’s commercial spirit. Those of us who were brought up
in the old school of medical practice do not forget the utility
of spoons in that connection; and I vividly recall being made, in
the spring-time, to stand in line with my numerous brothers and
sisters and to march unflinchingly upon a spoon overloaded with
sulphur and molasses. But what earthly connection there can be
between the purely mental treatment of Christian Science and the
purely physical thing, spoon, is not at first glance perceptible.
It is plain, however, that spoons were a feature of Mrs. Eddy’s
business. She was engaged in the exploitation of revelations and
spoons, and, pursuant to her successful method of extorting
money, made an appeal to the credulity of her people, utilizing
the old gag of the dissemination of Truth to promote even the
sale of spoons. The following is her command to the faithful:
“Christian Science Spoons—On each of these most beautiful
spoons is a motto in bas-relief that every person on earth
needs to hold in thought. Mother requests that Christian
Scientists shall not ask to be informed what this motto is, but
each Scientist shall purchase at least one spoon, and those who
can afford it, one dozen spoons, that their families may read
this motto at every meal and their guests be made partakers of
its simple truth.
“Mary Baker G. Eddy.”
This, it will be seen, is not an appeal, a request or a
suggestion, but a command. “Each Scientist _shall_ purchase at
least one spoon, and those who can afford it, one dozen spoons.”
There is a motto on the spoon, of whose simple truth, with their
meals, it is urged that the families of the faithful may be given
an opportunity to partake, and “Mother” especially requests that
Christian Scientists shall not ask to be informed what this motto
is. To be informed of the motto, would enable her following to
partake of its simple truth without purchasing one dozen spoons
or even a solitary spoon; and the sale of spoons, and not the
consumption of truth, was the plain purpose of Mrs. Eddy’s
command.
The price of spoons was three dollars apiece for the plain silver
and five dollars apiece for those with gold plated bowls; and I
know a gentleman in Washington, D.C., then a professed Christian
Scientist, who parted with sixty good American dollars for one
dozen Christian Science spoons.
Truly, are not Mrs. Eddy’s followers the very easiest “easy
marks” that any bunco-steerer ever went up against!
How naturally we fall into the slang of the street or into the
language in which the operations of common swindlers are
characterized, when we discuss this “religion” and its high
priestess!
Is there any possible doubt of the basic motive of this woman?
Did any one ever hear of anything approaching the audacity of
this brazen creature? Is it now clear, beyond possibility of
cavil, that all of Mrs. Eddy’s absurd and irreverent pretensions
have been merely unique business methods utilized to the utmost
to give a fictitious value to her foolish and harmful teachings,
and to extend the sale of her foolish and harmful writings?
Is the founder of Christian Science in very truth anything more
than a peddler of “revelations;” a huxter, who makes a commodity
of “religion”; as Mark Twain says, a shameless old swindler who
reaches out her irreligious hand and grabs the sacred name of
Jesus the more easily to cheat and rob poor confiding creatures
while looking to her for health to their aching bodies and peace
to their troubled souls? Is there a blasphemy, a mendacity, a
cruelty, beyond that of Mary Baker G. Eddy? Is there a greed that
_approaches_ hers?